Read Five Television Plays (David Mamet) Online
Authors: David Mamet
J
ABLONSKI:
You get off of 201. Go east two miles to the Corner Store. You take a left. Four or five miles you will see a yellow house with a red barn on the right. You take the next dirt road to the right. You can't miss it . . .
(F
URRILLO,
putting on his coat, walks through the shot.
)
F
URRILLO:
I'm sorry, Henry. I'll make it up to you.
R
ENKO
(
to
G
OLDBLUME
)
:
We'd stay, but we've got to get the keys . . .
G
OLDBLUME:
No
,
no, no, that's alright. I'll meet you there.
(J
ABLONSKI,
R
ENKO,
and
H
ILL
exit leaving
H
UNTER,
B
ATES,
and
G
OLDBLUME
by the desk. Beat.
)
H
UNTER:
"I slept and dreamt that life was Beauty
I woke and found that life was Duty.” (
He meditates on this a moment, then leaves.
)
B
ATES
(
to
G
OLDBLUME
)
:
Sir: long as you're here, you want to stalk the wild Requests for Overtime with me?
(G
OLDBLUME
sighs. Takes off his hunting coat. Picks up a sheaf of papers and walks through the squad room alongside
B
ATES.
B
UNTZ
passes from the other direction.
)
B
UNTZ
(
to
G
OLDBLUME
)
:
Nothing like a Day in the Woods . . . huh?
INTERIOR: PARKED STATION WAGON. DAY.
H
ILL
and
R
ENKO
sitting in the front seat. The car parked by a highway diner.
R
ENKO
studying a spread-out road map. He senses
H
ILL
looking at something, looks up from the map.
R
ENKO:
What?
H
ILL
(
gesturing with his head toward another car
): Blue pickup, Michigan Plates.
R
ENKO
(
looking
): What about it?
H
ILL:
Think we had the plates on the
Hot
list.
(R
ENKO
looks hard at the car.
)
R
ENKO
(
relaxes
): Wrong car. Put it in
neutral,
my friend. Let yourself kick back. Now, you say to yourself: A Man Who is Only His Job . . . what is he? A
machine.
Not even a machine. A
cog
in a machine. We were not put on this earth just to
work.
The word is “recreation.”
Recreation.
Meditate
on that a second. ‘Til roll call on Monday morning, we are not Cops, but
Men.
Men in the Country . . .
(J
ABLONSKI
gets into the backseat, holding a paper sack, starts distributing foodstuffs.
)
R
ENKO:
Gimme a sandwich . . .
H
ILL:
Coffee.
J
ABLONSKI:
You guys think about the problem?
H
ILL:
I did.
J
ABLONSKI:
Tell me.
H
ILL:
Deer breaks cover, runs to the crest of a ridge. We . . .
J
ABLONSKI:
. . . yes . . .
H
ILL:
Lay low.
R
ENKO:
Well, that's obvious.
H
ILL:
. . . unmoving. Wait ‘til the deer's had the time to . . .
J
ABLONSKI:
Right. No. That is what we do
not
want to do. The deer breaks cover, runs to the crest,
you've
got the advantage.
H
ILL:
Because?
(J
ABLONSKI
takes a sandwich, a couple of pencils, and acts out the tableau on the dashboard, the sandwich representing the deer, the pencils representing the hunters.
)
J
ABLONSKI:
’Cause he can't
hear
you. He's running too hard. The deer's heart is pounding, he's
terrified,
his perceptions are dull. For one moment he's playing
your
game. The deer's running to the ridge, the thing to do,
you
run to the ridge. Odds are you're going to
get
a shot at him when he comes up the other side. Another thing:
R
ENKO
(
of sandwich
): Oooh, this stuffs good . . .
J
ABLONSKI:
A deer breaks cover on the
flat . . .
R
ENKO:
Now
:
where are we . . . ?
(
Angle insert: The tableau on the dashboard,
J
ABLONSKI
manipulating the pencils.
)
J
ABLONSKI
(
voice over
): Let's say we're in the brush, here and here . . .
(
We hear a commanding male voice.
)
M
ALE
V
OICE
(
offscreen
): Please put your hands on the dashboard, man in the backseat, put your hands on the back of the seat in front of you.
(
Angle: Two
S
TATE
T
ROOPERS
flanking the car, the men inside the car.
)
J
ABLONSKI:
Uh, we're . . .
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Please do as I say. Right now, please . . .
R
ENKO:
Umh, we're
police
officers . . .
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Right now. Please.
Right
now . . .
INTERIOR: SQUAD ROOM. DAY.
G
OLDBLUME,
dropping off some sheets on
B
ATES‘
desk.
B
ATES:
Thank you, Sir.
G
OLDBLUME:
My pleasure.
(
Camera follows
G
OLDBLUME
out through the squad room.
H
UNTER
attaches himself to him.
)
H
UNTER:
I find that an unfortunate aspect of our society is the absence of alternative means of establishing status.
G
OLDBLUME:
Uh huh.
H
UNTER:
Yes.
There is a certain status-structure in any job, who is boss, who is an
underling.
And too-close
adherence
to that structure causes
jealousy
of those above,
envy
of those below. Which is why, the Company
baseball
team . . .
G
OLDBLUME
(
trying to extricate himself
): I've got to write a talk . . .
H
UNTER:
Well, let me make this point, you see: I think the fact that you are going
hunting
with the men below you, while some might say, is a violation of the status-structure, is, in fact . . .
G
OLDBLUME:
I've got to talk to twenty-five Boy Scouts in a half an hour . . .
H
UNTER:
Oh.
(
As
G
OLDBLUME
walks by the desk, the
K
HAKI
O
FFICER
calls his attention to a very beautiful woman around thirty, who has obviously just filed a complaint.
)
G
OLDBLUME:
Yes . . . ?
K
HAKI
O
FFICER:
We, would you talk to this woman please . . . ?
G
OLDBLUME:
I'm Lieutenant Goldblume, I'm in the midst of . . .
K
HAKI
O
FFICER:
If you just have five minutes, Sir . . .
(G
OLDBLUME
sighs. The camera follows the
Y
OUNG
W
OMAN
and
G
OLDBLUME
into his office.
)
INTERIOR: THE OFFICE.
Y
OUNG
W
OMAN
sits down.
G
OLDBLUME:
Miss . . . ?
Y
OUNG
W
OMAN:
Carrington.
G
OLDBLUME:
Miss Carrington. I have about (
checks watch
) five minutes, if you . . .
Y
OUNG
W
OMAN:
I'll be brief. I, uh . . . (
Beat.
) Many people are struck by the, uh, by the, by what happens in the cities, you, you think it will not
affect you.
You, people cannot stand the
stress,
and you look at people
around
you, and you see what happens to them and you say it won't happen to you . . . that . . . that . . .
G
OLDBLUME:
And what is your specific . . . ?
Y
OUNG
W
OMAN:
My, my, my boyfriend won't make love to me . . .
INTERIOR: HIGHWAY DINER. DAY.
J
ABLONSKI,
H
ILL,
R
ENKO,
and one
S
TATE
T
ROOPER
having coffee in a booth by the window.
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
. . . they said that the way to
do
it, they developed a drill . . .
R
ENKO:
The
thing
of it, you should
never
give up the gun.
H
ILL:
The statistics say never give up the gun.
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Well, that's what I'm
saying.
So they developed a drill . . .
J
ABLONSKI:
I've
heard
of this . . .
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
. . . you know what I'm talking about . . . ?
J
ABLONSKI:
Man's got the drop on your partner, got your partner's gun. You work out a signal, call him by some . . .
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
You call him by a strange name: you say, for example, “Clarence, give him what he wants.” The word “Clarence” is the signal, he drops . . .
J
ABLONSKI:
. . . your
partner
drops . . .
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Your partner hears
that
word, he drops to the ground, you draw and fire.
H
ILL:
The chance that it's going to work . . . ?
R
ENKO:
Well, man, the idea is, it's better to die on your
feet . . .
(
The
S
ECOND
S
TATE
T
ROOPER
comes up to the table, slides in.
)
S
ECOND
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
. . . the word is: my cousin says, you work back from the
farmhouse,
three quarters mile back there is an old abandoned
apple
orchard, and that's where he took his deer last year.
H
ILL:
Hey, man, we appreciate it.
S
ECOND
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
. . . pleasure.
(
The Hill Street Bunch start getting up from the table. The
S
TATE
T
ROOPER
reaches for the check.
)
R
ENKO:
No
,
it's on us. Thanks for the advice.
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Thank
you.
H
ILL
(
turns back
): And why'd you pull us over?
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Well, my partner thought you looked a tad “suspicious.”
I
said, “they're just going to a
costume
party . . .”
R
ENKO:
Costume
party. These are our “Hunting Clothes . . .”
S
ECOND
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Uh huh . . .
R
ENKO:
. . . never hurts to show a little good
taste
in the woods . . .
J
ABLONSKI:
Farmhouse, three quarters mile back, apple orchard . . .
H
ILL:
Thanks for the advice.
S
TATE
T
ROOPER:
Always glad to help a fellow officer.
INTERIOR: SQUAD ROOM. DAY.
Twenty-five Boy Scouts in full regalia sitting expectantly.
(
Angle:
G
OLDBLUME,
still in hunting clothes, holding notes. He makes another note in pencil, comes up to the podium. Sighs. Looks out at the Boy Scouts. Beat.
)
G
OLDBLUME:
My name is Henry Goldblume. I am a Lieutenant of the Metropolitan Police. It might look as if I am involved in some undercover mission, but I'm
dressed
like this for a simpler reason. It's my day off. (
He consults his notes.
) I am
speaking
to you today because you have expressed an interest in Law Enforcement as a career. Law Enforcement as a career. Now: what does this mean? It means many things. It means a career which offers . . .
friendship . . . loyalty,
from those around you and to those around you, and
pride . . .
(
Beat.
)
Service . . .
and, also, as I've been reminded here today,
duty.
And this is what I would like to say to you: Where does the pride come from? Where does the feeling of accomplishment come from? From
duty.
And
that
is the price that is exacted of you if you'd pursue and be happy in a career in the police. (
Beat.
)