Five Television Plays (David Mamet) (10 page)

F
IREMAN:
What, you getting some advice the Chief, here, Bill?

(B
ILLY
nods.
)

P
RICE:
So long, now . . .

(B
ILLY
gets on the bus.
)

P
RIEST:
What was that about?

P
RICE:
Saying good-bye. (P
RICE
walks over to
B
ARNES.)
You said you have some information for me.

B
ARNES:
Fire Investigator, the State, says it's an electrical fire, pure and simple. No question.

P
RICE:
Uh-huh. Well, I guess that I was wrong.

B
ARNES
(
gestures
): I . . . anything you want to tell me?

P
RICE:
Nope.

B
ARNES:
You sure?

P
RICE:
Nothing to tell. Isn't that the way, sometimes, you get het up, it all comes down to nothing. Just like you said.

(
The bus is pulling out. The
P
RIEST
calls over to
P
RICE.)

P
RIEST:
. . . you stop down by the Rectory tonight.

P
RICE:
Yessir.

(P
RICE
walks
B
ARNES
over to the squad car.
)

P
RICE:
I had a meeting with those real-estate folks; we can cancel it.

B
ARNES:
Alright. You want a ride back, Chief?

P
RICE:
Think I'm going to walk.

(
The squad car pulls out,
P
RICE
starts down the street. He walks past
M
RS.
M
OORE,
who is coming out of a grocery store with a couple of bags.
)

A
NNA:
Ah. Supper tonight. Seven o'clock. Will your work keep you, do you think, or will you be home?

P
RICE:
No
,
Ma'am. Seven o'clock. I'll be there.

(
She smiles, moves off. He walks down the street by himself. A
P
ASSERBY
nods at him.
)

P
ASSERBY:
Chief . . .

(P
RICE
nods in return.
)

The Museum of Science
and Industry Story

“Science and Industry Alter and Illuminate our Time.”

—J
OHN
L
EE
B
EATTY

Dramatis Personae

M
USEUM
G
UIDE

A
LBERT
L
ITKO

R
UDY

P
IERRE

J
OHN

C
LORIS

T
IMMY
O‘S
HEA

H
ARRY

S
TOSH
Z
ABISCO

B
O
L
UND

L
ARS
S
VENSON

D
IETER
G
ROSS

P
OLICEMAN

S
ECOND
P
OLICEMAN

P
OTAWATAMIES

F
ARMERS

M
INERS

A helicopter shot of the Museum of Science and Industry.

M
USEUM
G
UIDE
(
voice over
): . . . between the South Side community of Hyde Park, and Lake Michigan; a Recreation, an Educational experience, a Monument to Humankind's struggle to Rise from the Muck and Goo, and get the upperhand over its environment . . .

(
A
shot of the foyer of the museum, by the main doors. The
M
USEUM
G
UIDE
is seen ushering out a group of Japanese businessmen, to whom he has been giving his lecture.
[
Their translator can be heard mumbling softly behind the lecture.
] A
LBERT
L
ITKO,
a good-looking fellow in his twenties, is seen on the upper level of the foyer, staring at the main doors.
)

. . .
Chicago's famed Museum of Science and Industry . . .

(
The
M
USEUM
G
UIDE
continues to usher his charges out the main doors, along with other groups and individuals, who file out toward the parking lot. It is obviously closing time. An
O
LD
W
OMAN
leaving the museum steps on
A
LBERT
foot.
)

O
LD
W
OMAN:
I stepped on your foot.

ALBERT:
Mmmmm.

(
The
O
LD
W
OMAN
continues on her way.
)

G
UIDE
: . . . home of the famous Two-Speed Clock; The Living Cantaloupe; . . . The U-505 Submarine (the First Foreign Man of War captured on the High Seas in a Coon's Age) . . .

(
The
G
UIDE
continues as voice over,
A
LBERT
is seen to leave his vantage point and move to the public telephones.
)

. . . Planes, Trains, all sorts of Weird Objects, various Exhibits, a Huge model Railroad, and stuff too numerous to mention; open most of the time to one and all, and now bidding you, each and every one, from the citizens of Chicago, to the denizens of famed Nippon, a fond “Sayonara.”

(A
LBERT
is now seated at a phone, has dialed, and listens to ringing.
)

A
LBERT:
Hello?

Where
are
you?

Albert.

Albert
Litko.

(
As
A
LBERT
talks we see the lights, section by section, being extinguished in the museum.
)

At the Museum.

Waiting for
you.

Well, we
did.

We certainly
did.

Well,
I
thought we did.

I'm sorry, too.

At the Museum, I told you.

It's okay. What are you doing
tonight?

Oh. (
Long pause.
)

(
The camera tracks through the upper level of the museum, shooting down at the main floor, revealing total absence of humanity, and darkness.
)

What are you doing
tomorrow
night?

Oh.

No. I'm not. I'm not.

No. Don't be silly.

No. Okay.

I . . . uh . . . look, good-bye, okay?

(
The camera returns to
A
LBERT
seated at the telephone.
)

I swear I'm not hurt. On my mother's deathbed. I swear.

Okay. I will.

Okay.

Okay, good-bye.

(
The phone is obviously hung up on the other end. We hear a disconnect signal coming from the phone, which
A
LBERT
still holds in his hand. A pause, then
A
LBERT
utters an inchoate cry and whacks the telephone with the handset. We hear a slight “ding.”
A
LBERT
checks the coin return and finds out that it's his dime.
)

Ha ha ha ha ha.

(
He hangs up the phone. He gets up and starts to walk, in a controlled and dignified manner, to the doors. The camera follows behind him. He arrives at the closed doors, tries the handle. It is locked. He tries another door, he tries the last door. He finds that he is, in fact, locked in. He screams and starts pounding on the door.
)

Vixen! Siren! I
give
my
heart
to you, I give my
soul
to you, I get locked
in,
it's
dark
(Oh, God, I'm
such
a sucker for a kind word) . . . I'm
scared, it does not pay to get involved.
I don't
care,
I'm going on
record,
I've said it, and I'm glad.

(
He stops pounding and composes himself. He adjusts his clothing and starts trying to find a way out of the museum. The camera follows him walking through the main hall. As he walks he mumbles.
)

. . .
safety precautions . . .

. . . inadequate
crowd
control . . .

. . . social consciousness . . .

. . .
savoir faire . . .

. . .
’predate me someday when I'm dead . . .

(
Over his mumbling we hear a voice singing “K. C. Moan.”
A
LBERT
stops and tries to identify the direction from whence the voice comes. Having identified it, he proceeds toward it. The camera follows him into the hall containing the Santa Fe model railroad. The song has now changed to “The Atcheson Topeka, and the Santa Fe.”
A
LBERT
follows the song around to the east end of the exhibit, and finds an old black man seated at the controls, singing. This is
R
UDY.
He is dressed in traditional railroad work attire which is incredibly worn and old. He is working the controls.
R
UDY
stops singing and begins shouting at the trains.
)

R
UDY:
‘Kay, less gettem rollin’, ain't got all night. Lettem go, three cars. Three cars.

A
LBERT:
‘Scuse me.

R
UDY:
Yup?

A
LBERT:
I'm locked in.

R
UDY:
Gest you was. (
To exhibit:
) Come on,
hump
those cars.

A
LBERT:
Uh . . . uh, what are you doing?

R
UDY:
Look
like I'm doin? (
To exhibit:
)
Now
you talkin’. You talkin’ now. Keep rollin’. (
To
A
LBERT:
) I'm switchin’.

A
LBERT:
Oh.

R
UDY
(
to exhibit
): Two more, two more, lettem go. (
To
A
LBERT:
) Stan’ back there, willya, son?

A
LBERT:
I'm locked in here.

R
UDY:
I see that. (
Hands him plug tobacco.
) Have a chaw, feel better.

A
LBERT:
No thank you, I don't chew.

R
UDY:
Bes’ thing in the worl’, you
loss,
sit down, have a chaw, think things over.

A
LBERT:
I'm not lost. I'm locked in.

R
UDY:
‘Mounts to the same thing. You jes’ here for the night, then.

A
LBERT:
What do you mean?

R
UDY:
All I mean, you jes’ here for the
night.
(
To exhibit:
) Whoa!
Slow
it down, there. Ho up. Ho up. Take a break. (
To
A
LBERT:
) We goan take a little break here. Chaw?

A
LBERT:
Uh, no thank you.

R
UDY:
Yes
sir. Hell
of a good deal workin’ indoors. Course, the
trains
are smaller . . .

A
LBERT:
Uh huh . . .

R
UDY:
But that's jes’ common
sense.
You gonna work indoors, you got reglar size rollin’ stock, you got to get y'self a buildin’ size of I don't know
what.
Huh?

(A
LBERT
nods his head.
)

Ain't so bad in here. No. You only stayin’ the night, huh?

A
LBERT:
I got locked in.

R
UDY:
I been here mos’ eleven years. Nigh on twelve years. Yup.

(R
UDY
leaves the control board and wanders to the real locomotive located about twenty feet from same. He seats himself at the controls,
A
LBERT
follows him.
)

Close on twelve years. (
Pause.
) Pensioned off in Sixty, Ruth died Sixty . . . uh . . . Sixty-Two . . . wandered in here one day . . . Nineteen and Sixty-Three. I think I'm going to sing here.

(R
UDY
sings “Rudy's Song.” A song of his fascination with trains since boyhood . . . of his wish to be an engineer
...
of his youth working in

Pullman cars . . . of his working as a fireman . . . of his wife, their marriage, their children . . . of his compulsory retirement, the death of his wife, and his old age. He finishes his song.
)

Yup.

A
LBERT:
And so now you work for the Museum now? You work for the Museum Railroad?

R
UDY:
I'm not an idiot, son. I'm
old,
but I got my senses intack. The Museum don't got a
railroad,
what the Museum got, the Museum got a
model
railroad.

A
LBERT:
Yes.

R
UDY:
Well, it's apparent. An’ I doan
work for
them . . .

A
LBERT:
No?

R
UDY:
No
,
I jes’ kind of . . .
work
here. I mean, what for they goan pay someone good cash come in here switch all the
rollin’
stock at night? It's a useless expenditure their part. Huh?

A
LBERT:
I suppose so.

R
UDY:
No supposin’ in it. It's outright featherbedding. (An’ I have been a Union Man all my life, y'unnerstand, but some things I do not hold with.)

A
LBERT:
Uh-huh.

R
UDY:
What I mean, a man has got to have his
pride
(This is common knowledge). You stick him on a job he doan
do
nothin’ . . . I mean, you stick him on a job he doan
do
nothin’ all day long, all day long he got nothin’ to
do.
(You see what I'm sayin'?)

A
LBERT:
Yes.

R
UDY:
An’ in the same spirit, you take a man, prime of his life, not a goddamned thing in the
worl’
the matter with him, an’ you tell him to punch out, go home, doan come back . . . well, I doan got to
tell
you what
this
is. (
Pause.
) So, in answer to your question, no, I do not work for the Museum, as any fool can plainly see.

A
LBERT:
Oh.

(
Pause.
)

R
UDY:
I free-lance.

A
LBERT:
Can you help me get outta here?

R
UDY:
What?

A
LBERT:
I want to go home.

R
UDY:
Doan you
go
home, then?

A
LBERT:
The Museum is locked.

R
UDY:
Doan you
relax,
then? (See what I'm sayin'?) Come on, I'm goan take a break anyway. See if we can't get you out of here.

(
They leave the Santa Fe exhibit, and walk toward the Harvester Farm.
)

You ever live in the country?

A
LBERT:
No
.
We lived in the
suburbs
a little.

R
UDY:
Ain't the same thing.

(
A huge war cry is heard, and a boomerang narrowly misses
R
UDY‘
s
head.
)

(
Loudly
): Sonsabitches.

P
IERRE
(
voice over
): Get you next time.

R
UDY:
Hell you say. (
He picks up boomerang. To
A
LBERT:
) Sonabitch can't even
get
the goddam thing come
back.

(
They walk on.
)