Finding Our Forever: (A Defining Moments Novel) (23 page)

I put my phone down and head for the shower. I’m not ready to see what he has to say yet. I need a shower and coffee, in that order.

Once I’m situated on the couch with my coffee, I pick my phone back up and head to his text. I’d be lying if I said his words didn’t affect me big time.

Eli: I’m sorry I didn’t call like I said I would. I know we have things to say to each other and that you are leaving soon. I think we should get together for dinner. Thoughts?

I stare at my phone for a while before I figure out how to respond. I mean, my first instinct is to tell him no and good-bye. He hurt me. Badly. I knew I had some pretty serious feelings for him before I even thought I was pregnant. Thinking about it now, if I had just taken the damn test before I told him, I could’ve avoided all of this. He’d have never known and we’d still be on speaking terms. But on the other hand, I’m glad I know how he really feels about me. I mean, I get that the idea of an unplanned pregnancy is scary, but when you really care about someone, you work through the surprises and rough spots. Right? You talk about it and figure things out.

Me: Sure. When and where?

It’s been eight hours since he sent that text and he probably thinks I’ve been ignoring him, so I don’t expect such a quick response.

Eli: How about my place tomorrow night, 7:00 p.m.? Destry is crashing with some old friends for a few days and Ben can go stay with Ramzi so we can talk.

Me: See you tomorrow.

Eli: Thank you for agreeing to come.

I don’t respond.

For the next few hours, I continue to pack and clean. I don’t leave for another two weeks, but I have a ton of things to go through to see what stays here in storage and what goes with me. I’ve already spoken to Jose about what he has room for furniture-wise, about me bringing Diesel, and approximately when I’ll be there. Considering I’m driving more than 800 miles in a U-Haul, pulling a car behind me, with a 100-pound dog as my co-pilot, I don’t know how long it’ll take me.

As much as I don’t enjoy my sisters and/or brothers being in my business, I need a third-party guy to weigh in with an opinion. Not that I don’t love Ramzi to pieces, but she tends to always side with me no matter what. She’s a good friend.

I dial my brother Bryson’s number. He’s the closest to me in age and he’s a single guy. I need his thoughts on this mess, and I know he’ll give me his honest opinion and keep this to himself. Last thing I need is all my brothers and sisters weighing in with opinions on my sex life. No thanks.

“’Lo,” he grumbles into the phone.

“Bry, it’s Sara.” I can’t help but smile. I miss him so much and wish he was around more.

“Sarbear!” he shouts excitedly. “What’cha doin’?”

“Where are you? Do you have some time to chat?” I don’t want to bother him right now if he’s working.

“Oh yeah. I have time to talk. I actually just got back to my hotel. I’m in Tanzania right now doing a shoot for World Wildlife magazine,” he replies with so much happiness in his voice. I love that he loves his job so much. He’s always told me to find a career that I love so that I’ll never feel like it’s just a job. Photography does that for him. Nursing does that for me. I mean, sometimes I want to throttle the people I work with, but I love being a nurse.

“That’s awesome!” I laugh. “Sounds like you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Oh, I am. I’ve been here about a week, and when I leave here, I’m heading to Kenya for a week. I’ll be home a few weeks after that for a quick break.”

“Shit, I’ll be in Arizona by the time you come home then,” I pout.

“That’s okay. Just gives me a reason to come to Arizona to visit. Their red canyons are amazing,” he appeases.

“Sounds good,” I reply. Now I’m second-guessing talking to him about this. He’s so happy, and I don’t want to bring him down by laying my shit on him.

“What’s going on, Sara?” he questions. “I know you. Something is wrong.” Too late to back out now.

“I need your opinion on something. It’s kind of embarrassing to talk to you about, but I need guy feedback.”

“Okay. Let’s hear it.”

Over the next thirty minutes, I tell him everything. From meeting Eli in the hospital, to the dates, to the pregnancy scare, his reaction and disappearance, and all the details of my drunken phone call and his subsequent dinner request. Bryson already knew that I was leaving to go to PA school, he just didn’t know I was seeing someone. Sort of.

After I spill my guts to him, he’s quiet.

“Bry, are you still there?” I huff.

“I’m here. Just give me a second to think about this, sis,” he replies, sounding mad. “So, you basically become friends with benefits with this guy because you’re leaving soon. He’s a twenty-year-old college guy who has never had a girlfriend before. You both seem to become pretty into each other over the course of the couple of months you’re together, and then BOOM,” he shouts into the phone. “You think you’re pregnant, he freaks out and bails, and now he wants to talk to you about it, over dinner, right before you’re supposed to move to Arizona for two years.”

“Yeah, that basically covers it in a nutshell,” I mumble. He’s irritated with me. I can tell.

He sighs loudly before he speaks again.

“Sara, you know I love you more than anything, so I want you to remember that while I tell you what I, as a single guy, think about this,” he tells me gently. “He was scared. He’s twenty years old for shit’s sake. He told you in the beginning that he wanted to get married and have a family someday but that it wasn’t going to be anytime soon.” He stops as if he wants me to take that information in. “Did he handle it shitty? Yes, he absolutely did. But you’d known for days that you could be pregnant and had time to adjust to the news a little. You can’t expect him to go from thinking he was coming over to talk to you about having a real relationship to talking about him being a daddy without a bit of confusion and anger. He obviously likes you enough to want to try if he had literally just told you he wanted to try a long-distance relationship with you.”

The tears start pouring down my face and I can’t stop them. He’s right, and this is exactly why I needed him to give me his opinion. I needed brutal honesty.

“Sis, please don’t cry,” he tells me with a softened voice. “You have a right to be mad. He handled it like a total asshole. But it’s been a week, and he’s had time to come down from it and probably regrets the way he handled it. If you care about him, and I’m guessing you do, you’ll give him the opportunity to apologize and explain.”

“You’re right. I knew you’d tell me what I needed to hear. Thanks, Bry,” I choke out.

He gives me a minute to pull myself together before he speaks again.

“All right, little sister. It’s closing in on midnight here, so I’m going to let you go,” he yawns into the phone. “I love you, and I know you’ll make the best decision for you when it comes to the Eli situation. Give him a chance to say what he has to say. If he still acts like a total asshat, you have your answer and can leave for Arizona with a clear conscious.”

“Thank you. Call me soon please. I miss you terribly,” I tell him.

“Miss you too. Talk to you soon,” he replies before hanging up.

It’s still fairly early, so I make myself a cup of hot chocolate, add a little bit of caramel syrup to it, and grab my Kindle. I need to turn my brain off for a bit, and for me, the best way to do that is reading.

I dive into a book I’d heard great things about. It’s called
Can’t You See
by Dawn Chiletz and it’s a cross between a psychological thriller and a romance. It’s full of twists and turns and is perfect to take my mind off my life. For the next several hours, I’m lost in the story of Meredith and Devin. When Diesel whines next to me and I look, I realize I’ve been reading for hours and he needs to go outside.

Walking him to the back door, nose still buried in the book, I let Diesel out and stand on the back porch waiting for him to do his business. When he’s done, we head back into the house and my phone starts ringing the minute I step into the kitchen.

“What’s up, hooch?” I answer Ramzi’s call.

“So dinner tomorrow night with Eli, huh?” she asks with her sassy tone.

“How the hell do you know that already? We seriously just made those plans a few hours ago.”

“Well, I’m assuming you guys made up since Ben called and asked me if he could come stay at my place so you two could be alone,” she replies.

“We haven’t made up. We haven’t even talked actually. He texted me last night after I turned my phone off and asked me to come over for dinner so we can talk. I’m sure Ben and Destry are just trying to get the hell out of Dodge. Plus, he gets you all to himself so I’m sure he’s not complaining.”

“He gets me to himself all the time. I mean, it’s not like the big bastard takes me anywhere. He comes over here, hangs out, either leaves before I wake up, or once in a blue moon he actually stays the night,” she fumes.

“You know you’re either going to have to put your foot down about that bullshit, or you’re going to have to let him go,” I rant.

“I know, but I’m not ready to do that yet. Right now, I’m enjoying the time I have with him.” She pauses. “I gotta go, girl. I hope you two work things out tomorrow.”

“Thanks, sweets. I’ll call you in a couple days. Love you.”

“Love you too. Behave.”

And she’s gone.

THIS HAS TO BE
the longest day of my life. I know it’s because I’m anxious about dinner with Eli tonight, but seriously, every single minute feels as if an hour has passed. I’ve cleaned my house from top to bottom, taken Diesel for a walk, gone grocery shopping for the week, taken a shower, and I still have several hours before I need to head to Eli’s.

I didn’t sleep well last night because my nerves are shot to hell, so I figure lying down for a nap would probably be a good idea. Taking my phone with me, I head to my room, stripping off the clothes I just put on as I go. Getting into bed, I let the cool sheets soothe my heated skin, and I almost immediately relax. After setting an alarm on my phone, I sink deeper into my blankets and close my eyes, drifting off almost instantly.

Watching Eli walk across the grass toward me, my breath catches at the sight of him. He’s so handsome, and the stunning smile on his face tells me he’s happy to see me. Looking down, I realize that I’m in scrubs. Why am I in work clothes?

When he reaches me, he doesn’t stop. He pulls me into his big, strong arms, lifting me off the ground and hugging me tight.

“We’ve missed you,” he mumbles into my hair.

My heart starts to hammer so fast I almost feel nauseous. What the hell is going on? One minute he’s pissed about the pregnancy scare and the next minute he misses me? I let him hold onto me as long as he wants, because truthfully, I’ve missed him too, but I’m not telling him that. I’m still mad.

When he pulls back to look at me, he must see the confusion in my eyes. “Are you okay? How was work?” he asks with what appears to be genuine interest before placing a quick, gentle kiss to my lips.

Before I can answer, his eyes lift from mine to look behind me. Then he whispers, “Samuel.” I’m about to ask him who Samuel is, but when I see the expression on his face, I pause. Pure love is written there. Who is he looking at?

I turn in his arms, and he lets me go willingly. The moment my eyes take him in, I can’t breathe. A little boy, about three years old, is playing in the yard behind us. He has his arms stretched out wide and he’s spinning in circles, making himself dizzy and causing him to fall over several times. He squeals with delight at his little game and has the biggest smile on his face. My heart longs to reach out to him, to pull him into my arms and hug him to me, but in the back of my mind, I know his parents probably wouldn’t appreciate a strange woman hugging their kid. I’m confused by my reaction to this child. I long for him. My heart knows him.

And then he turns to me, and a gasp falls from my lips. His angelic green eyes stare back at me, and it’s then I notice how much he looks like Eli. I put my hand to my mouth, and the tears start to come as I watch this perfect child’s face light up.

He slowly starts toward me, which quickly turns into a toddler’s version of running. I can’t help the smile that breaks out across my face, and I bend down so I can pull him into my arms when he gets to me. But the harder he runs, the further away he seems to be getting. When I look back toward Eli in question, he’s gone.

Turning my attention back to Samuel, I’m immediately confused by how Eli made it over to Samuel without me seeing him. Samuel is no longer running. Instead, his hand is grasped in Eli’s, and they are heading right toward me. I watch, truly amazed at how much they look alike.

When they finally reach me, Samuel throws his little arms around my neck and hugs me with all his might. My heart stops when I hear his little voice.

“Hi, Mama,” he says sweetly.

I gasp as my body flies off the bed, my eyes instantly scanning for my little boy. Where is he? I need to get to him.