Finding Our Forever: (A Defining Moments Novel) (20 page)

I put my phone back in my pocket and go back to work. This may just very well be the longest twelve hours of my life.

During one of my dinner breaks, I texted Eli again to tell him I missed him and that we need to talk when he gets home. Even if I’m not pregnant, we need to discuss my leaving soon.

His response brings tears to my eyes. Even though I said it first, seeing his text that he shouldn’t miss me either makes me wonder if we’re on the same page when it comes to this talk.

By the time I get home from work, I’ve been awake for more than twenty-four hours and I can hardly keep my eyes open. I thought about just doing a test at work, but I don’t want anyone at the hospital in my business. Then I considered stopping at a store on the way home and grabbing a test, but was just too damn tired.

To be completely honest, I’m terrified to find out.

I shower quickly and throw on my comfiest PJs before falling into bed half asleep already.

WHEN MY ALARM
goes off for work, I wake slowly but am instantly aware of the way my hand is resting on my stomach. Even in sleep my mind is going a million miles an hour about this baby.

I make quick work of getting ready for work. I’m still torn on whether to take a test or wait a few more days and hope that I start. Or should I tell him and wait for him to be here when I take the test? I don’t know what the protocol for this is. We aren’t a couple, are we? Do non-couples do the testing together?

On my drive to work, I pass several pharmacies but can’t bring myself to stop and buy a damn test. It helps me make my decision to wait for Eli.

At this point, six days late, I’m almost 100 percent certain I’m pregnant. I am never late.

My shift goes by in record time due to a three-car pile-up that landed twelve people in the emergency room with traumatic injuries.

By the time I leave the hospital, I literally can’t see straight I’m so exhausted. I consider taking a power nap on one of the cots in the employee locker room but decide against it. I need a good solid ten hours of sleep in my own bed to recover from this one.

Eli should be home tomorrow, and I have a feeling I’m going to need my strength for that discussion.

Showering and falling into bed, I’m out before my head even hits the pillow.

I DIDN’T SET AN
alarm because I don’t have to work the next three days, so I figured I’d catch up on my sleep. Well, catch up on my sleep I did. I fell asleep around 7:00 a.m. when I made it home from the hospital, so when I see that it’s dark out, I initially assume it’s around ten-ish.

Rolling over to check the time, I realize it’s four in the morning. That means I slept for twenty-one hours straight. I’ve never done that. Ever.

Then it hits me that Eli will be home today. I grab my phone off the nightstand and check to see if anyone has texted me. Okay, I’m checking to see if Eli texted me.

There is one message and it’s from Ramzi telling me I’m a shitty friend because I haven’t talked to her in days, and she is now in a huge depressive state. It makes me laugh because she’s loves being dramatic. I should call her and tell her what the hell is going on with me, but I really want Eli to be the first person to hear about this. I’ll tell Ramzi once we know for sure.

Since it’s only 4:00 a.m., I make myself a cup of coffee and curl up in my favorite chair in the living room to read. Nothing like losing yourself in someone else’s world for a little while.

I HEAR RINGING
but can’t seem to pry my eyes open. I roll my body to the side and become weightless as my body crashes to the floor.

Ouch!

What the hell?

My eyes finally open and I’m on the floor in the living room. It takes me a second to remember how the hell I got in here, and then I chuckle because I must’ve fallen asleep on the couch while I was reading earlier. How did I fall back asleep so soon?

My phone starts to ring again and I pull myself up off the floor to answer it.

“’Lo,” I mumble into the receiver without even looking at it.

“Well good morning to you too, sunshine,” Ramzi barks at me. I glance at the clock on the wall and am floored when I see that it’s after ten in the morning. I fell back asleep for another five hours?

“Hey, girl. What’cha up too?” I grab my now cold cup of coffee and head back into the kitchen to make a fresh cup.

“I just wanted to see if you were up for some girl time. I miss you now that you’re either always at work or with Eli,” she jokes. She’s right. I barely see her these days.

“After two twelve hour night shifts, I’m pretty beat, but I could definitely go for some lunch. Where you wanna go?” I ask her.

“Let’s hit that new burger place over on West Parkview. I’ve heard good things,” she tells me quickly. “Get your shit together, Calhoun. I’ll meet you there at 11:30 a.m.”

Before I can respond, she hangs up. I swear that girl doesn’t know how to say good-bye.

I take a little longer in the shower than I’d planned too, but I was in serious need of some time with the razor. Sasquatch, anyone?

By the time I get out of the shower and dressed, I have very little time to primp so I just throw my hair up in a bun, sunscreen my face, and head out.

As I drive toward the restaurant, I consider my options with how to have the discussion with Eli when he returns. I’m officially a week late. He’ll be home this evening, so maybe I should invite him over to my place for dinner. We’ll need the privacy.

As soon as I pull up to the building, I spot Ramzi sitting outside at one of the little pub tables. I fire off a quick text to Eli.

Me: Think you’ll be up for dinner at my place tonight?

I don’t expect to hear from him for a bit because I know he may be driving or in the mountains where the signal sucks, so I’m surprised when he responds almost immediately.

Eli: Yes, ma’am. I’ll text you when I get to town. Probably around 6 p.m.

Me: Sounds good. See you tonight. <3

Eli: ;)

I make it to the table just as the waitress arrives.

“Hey, hooch. What you want to drink?” Ramzi asks me with a huge smile. “We doing mimosas?” She lifts her already half-empty glass and takes a sip.

“Nah, I’m tired enough already. Alcohol will just make me more tired.” I laugh at the look of horror on her face. “I’ll just have iced tea with lemon please.”

“Well, I’m having a mimosa or twelve. You may have to drive my drunk ass home later,” she exaggerates.

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Oh, you know. The usual. Men.” She rolls her eyes as she takes another sip.

“You mean one man in particular,” I assert, watching her scrunch her face up, which makes me laugh.

“He’s so frustrating, girl! I mean, when we’re together, he’s so passionate and amazing, and we have fun together. But the moment we start connecting on more than a fling basis, he bails. Won’t talk about his family. Won’t talk about his work, other than that he works in the fitness industry. Hell, you probably know more about him than I do.” She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest.

“I’m not going to put myself in the middle of that crazy. I really don’t know anything about Ben. Yes, I’ve met him, but I don’t know anything about him personally other than that he is Eli’s twin brother.” I honestly don’t know what to tell her. I guess I could ask Eli some questions to help ease Ramzi’s mind, but I don’t want to put him in the middle of whatever the hell they have going on either.

“It’s whatever. I think I’m going to call it off. I totally dig hanging out with him, and the sex is off the charts, but I can’t get over the need for all the secrecy. It makes me wonder what he’s hiding. I know it’s something big and I don’t like it.”

I just nod because I understand why she would feel that way. There is no way I’d be able to handle any type of relationship with someone who wouldn’t tell me anything about them. Whether it was friends with benefits or not. I want to know who I’m lying down with.

“Anyway, enough about the asshole. What’s been going on with you?” she asks, taking a huge bite of the burger the waitress just set in front of her.

The moment she asks the question, I feel my eyes start to fill with tears. Damn it.

“Oh shit, what’s wrong?” she blurts out, reaching across the table and grabbing my hand.

“I think I’m pregnant,” I whisper and watch her face immediately change from concerned to shocked. She knows I want to be set in my career before I go down this road. “You can’t tell anyone. He’s been out of town and I haven’t had a chance to talk to him about this yet,” I rush out.

“What do you mean ‘you think’ you’re pregnant. Haven’t you taken a test?” she whisper-shouts back at me.

“I haven’t taken a test yet, but I’m a week late. I figured if I didn’t start by the time he came back from going to get their other brother Destry from Boise—” I pause when I see the shock on her face again. She didn’t know they had another brother. Awesome. I quickly continue. “I want him to be with me when we find out for sure. Don’t real couples do that? I know we aren’t necessarily a real couple, but I really like him and could see us having a future. Someday. Maybe.” I stop talking and realize we both have tears pouring down our faces.

“Are you scared?” she asks gently. I nod because I can’t find the words. Saying I’m terrified is an understatement. I mean, I just have so many questions.

Will he be the “hero” type who wants to marry me immediately so we can live happily ever after in a house with a white picket fence?

Will he tell me he wants nothing to do with me or the baby and disappear?

Will he ask me to have an abortion?

Ramzi is watching me, just holding my hands and letting me work this out in my own mind.

“He’s coming over for dinner tonight. I guess we’ll find out his reaction soon enough.”

She nods. Letting go of my hands, she reaches over, grabs her mimosa, and downs the rest of it.

“If I’m pregnant, I’m keeping it,” I blurt out, unsure why I felt the need to make that clear. I don’t have to make that decision right now.

She nods in understanding and then continues to eat her burger without questioning my last comment. She’s known me long enough to know how I feel about abortion. I don’t know that I’ll ever understand why anyone thinks it’s their right to dictate what women do with their own bodies, but for me, personally, there is no way I could ever have one. No way. Not even a consideration.

The rest of lunch is quiet, both of us lost in thought about my situation. By the time we’re finished eating, I’m on the verge of tears and need to get out of here. Ramzi insists on paying the bill, as always, and we stroll to the parking lot together. When we get there, she pulls me into a bone-crushing hug before pulling back and looking me right in the eye, deadly serious.

“No matter what Eli says or how he responds to the news, we got this. I will not let you go through this alone, Sara. I’ll do everything in my ability to help,” she states firmly. “Other than my mom, you are the closest thing to family I’ve got. This baby will be my niece or nephew basically. I got your back, girl. I promise.”