Finding My Way (50 page)

I lean in to kiss him
letting him know my answer.  He lets go of my hands and brings his to my
face holding me to him.  He kisses me back and his tongue finds
mine.  I wrap my hands around his lower back and pull him closer.  We
turn around so that my back is to the bed.  As the urgency of our kisses
increase, we slowly step towards it.  He carefully lays me across the bed
sideways and climbs on top of me.

His lips move from my
mouth, making their way along my jaw, behind my ear, down my neck.  My
entire body reacts to his mouth.  I want him so bad.  He lifts
himself off me slightly so that he can look at my face.  I think he is
looking for reassurance; he is making sure that this is what I want.  So I
smile at him and thread my fingers through his hair at the back of his head, my
other hand on the base of his neck as I pull him down to me and kiss him again.

We keep kissing each
other, gently moving our hands and bodies against one another.  It is
heaven, this urgent need I have to be closer to him.  I push him with all
my might as I manage to roll him onto his back.  I straddle him and lift
my t-shirt over my head, throwing it to the floor.  He freezes momentarily
to look at my body and I see the need in his eyes.  I lie down on him and
kiss him with all the passion I can find.  I
want
this man.  I
need
him now, so much.

Our lips remain
locked as he swiftly rolls me over.  He suddenly stands and lifts his
t-shirt over his head and throws it away.  I admire his body, his chest is
more defined in the daylight,
I’ve
never seen it in
such a bright room before.  I watch as the muscles in his arms flex as he
lowers himself onto me.  He kisses me again on the lips, and then starts
kissing me down my neck and chest.  He passes my bra and continues his small,
gently kisses down to my belly.  I writhe with pleasure and sit up to
remove my bra.  He watches his mouth still attached to my skin, as I toss
it aside and lie down.  He kisses me on the lips then repeats his earlier
trail of kisses, but this time he pauses at my breasts, his mouth ghosting
across them.

As one hand holds my
waist, his other hand fondles my breast and his mouth finds my nipple.  He
sucks gently and I arch my back as my lower muscles contract.  Then he
lightly trails his fingers and kisses down to my belly again.  His hands
reach my jeans as he undoes them and I help him slide them down.  His hand
caresses me
there
once and then he stands and tugs my pants off the rest
of the way and leaves them on the floor.

I lay motionless and
watch as he removes his jeans too.  Our eyes remained locked on one
another and I feel the chemistry there.  The pull I feel towards him is
stronger than I ever could have imagined possible.

“Are you
sure?” he asks breathlessly.

“Yes.” I urge
him forward to kiss him again.  After another moment of heated kisses, he
pulls back slightly.  His brow furrows and he looks lost for a moment.

“Um Emma,” he looks
at me shyly.  “I don’t have any… condoms.”  Oh shit!  We’ve come
this far, I don’t think I could stop now…

“Oh um there may be
some in here,” I say as I scramble up the bed reaching for the bedside
table.  I open the top drawer and rummage around finding the box I won in
pass the parcel game at Kat’s hens’ party.  At that time, I didn’t think I
would actually get the chance to use them so soon.  I pull a condom out
and hold it up to him.  “So much for ‘always prepared,’” I tease him,
quoting his earlier comment when he produced the Allen key.

“I am never prepared
when it comes to you,” he says taking the packet from me.  I don’t have
time to figure out what he means by that.  All cohesive thoughts leave my
mind as he yanks his jocks off, rips the condom packet open with his teeth, and
rolls it onto himself.  It is such a hot move to watch, it makes me
tremble in anticipation.

He climbs back onto
the bed and I run my hands up and over his chest and down his back as he lowers
himself into me.

Heaven.
 
That is where I am now. 
Buried deep inside Emma.
 
Her supple body, warm and inviting as she moans and rocks
against me.
 
Finally.
  I have wanted
this for weeks now and finally I have her beneath me as we move together
perfectly.  She bites my neck gently and it almost pushes me over the
edge.  She tightens her legs around my waist pushing me deeper
still.  I lift her arse from the bed for a better angle hoping to give her
the release she needs.  She moans gratefully so I continue, over and over
until I cannot hold back anymore.

I come hard,
shuddering against her body.  I take a moment to catch my breath before
pulling out of her and rolling away.  It’s been a while for me so I
probably didn’t quite last as long as I should have, but I plan on making that
up to her, over and over again.

After a moment, I
remove the condom, give her a kiss on the cheek and go out to the bin in the
kitchen to dispose of it.  I do this quickly because I cannot wait to get
back to the bed and hold Emma in my arms.

She lifts her head
for me so that I can put my arm beneath her.  We lie side by side silently
staring at the ceiling for a few minutes.

“Earlier when you
said you are never prepared with me.  What did you mean?” she asks.

I pull her closer to
me and continue to look at the ceiling, knowing I cannot be anything but
truthful with her.

“You occupy my every
thought, Emma.  I feel totally enchanted when I am around you.  I
never know what you are thinking, and I cannot believe that you are with me…
here… now.  There is no place I would rather be at this moment.”  I
turn to look her in the eye.  “You totally disarm me.”

She freezes beside me
and doesn’t speak.  I almost added “I love you” to those words but I know
it’s too soon.  I’m not going to apologise though.  If things are
progressing too fast, she’ll just have to deal with it.  I’m not taking it
back.  Eventually she turns her head and offers me a sweet soft kiss to my
lips.  It kind of feels like a reward so I know I don’t have to explain my
thoughts any further.  We lie silently for another moment.

“I have to go.” 
She quickly jumps up from the bed, startling me.  “I’m sorry Seth but I
promised my parents that I would help set up for the party.”

I offer to help too
but she assures me it’s not necessary.  We both dress and remake her newly
christened bed.  She gives me her parents address and a swift kiss before
we both leave her apartment and head in different directions.

“No
Em
, I said the table needs to go under the window.” 
Dad grumbles as I yet again mess up.  He is disappointed in me.  His
list of things to do is not being perfectly orchestrated.  I grumble as I
lift the small square table from against the outside wall of the house and move
it to underneath the window.  “That’s better.  Now can you please get
all the tea and coffee things and set them up on there.”

“Yes Dad.”  I
roll my eyes when his back turns.  I know what goes on the table, he has
already told me twice before.  I sluggishly move my legs in the direction
of the kitchen to grab what is required.

“Are you
alright?  You seem a bit down?”  Mum asks as I near her.

“Yeah I’m
fine.”  I smile unconvincingly.

“Uh oh, trouble in
paradise already?” she asks concerned.

I bailed on our usual
Tuesday night dinner this week.  The only explanation I could offer Mum
was the truth.  I’d met someone.  I had told her all about Seth.

“No everything is
fine,” I smile at her.  My time with Seth in bed earlier today was
nice.  It was over quick because we both got a little carried away I
think, but it was pleasant.  It was our first time together, I’m sure it
will get better.  It’s not that it was bad sex because it wasn’t… he
definitely wasn’t bad, he was good,
really good
, it’s just that
something was off.  I can’t put my finger on it.  It’s probably
nothing, it’s just different with him, I guess.  I’ve only ever been with
one person.  Of course having sex with Seth would be different to being
with Josh.

“So he’s still
coming?”  I nod blushing, and wishing I wasn’t picturing Seth naked doing
exactly that whilst talking to my mother.  “Good I am looking forward to
meeting him,” she says smiling as she nudges my arm and then carries a box
full of snack foods out to the garage.

I watch her
retreating back as she makes her way past Dad who is on a stepladder putting up
streamers.  Ethan went with the black and silver theme.  There are at
least forty or fifty helium balloons on the inside of the house, slightly
obstructing my view as they bob up and down waiting to be distributed
outside.  Mum and Dad hired a marquee and it is set up against the house,
the end opening up to the garage that will be used as the dance space, where
the DJ will set up. 
Nick
.  Just his name makes my heart beat
faster.  He should be here in half an hour.  I have no idea what I am
going to say when I have to face him.

“Hey how come you get
to stand around while I keep getting orders barked at me?”  Ethan says
coming up behind me.

“Shut up, I’ve been
working non-stop since I got here!”  I snap, turning my attention to the
oven to check on Mum’s homemade sausage rolls.  I helped her make
them,
we are cooking them now and will reheat them later for
Ethan’s guests.  I pull the top tray out and then move the one from the
bottom into its place, slamming the door shut.

“Gee what’s up your
butt?”  Ethan says grabbing a burning hot sausage roll and taking a
bite. 
“
Ahh
!”

“Serves
yourself right you idiot!”
  I laugh as he burns his mouth.

“Ethan
get
out of the kitchen!”  Mum screeches as she catches
him.  He reaches for another and takes his half-eaten one with him as he
exits the room grinning through a scorching mouthful.  “Don’t let him back
in here.  I can’t have him eating up everything before people arrive.”

“I’ll set up the tea
and coffee table for Dad and then the second lot of sausage rolls should be
done.  You can go and get yourself ready if you like
Mum,
I will keep my eye on them.”

“Wow is that the
time?”  She looks at her watch.  “Yes we should both be getting
ready.  Thanks again for all your help today love.  I wouldn’t have
got it all done without you.”  She gives me a peck on the cheek as she
scurries past on her way to her bedroom to get changed.

I’m nervous.  I
am
never
nervous like this.  I’m outside the front of
Em’s
parent’s house waiting for Dan.  I watch as his
car pulls up behind mine.

“Thanks for coming,”
I say as he gets out and walks to the boot of the car.  I lean in beside
him to grab the box containing the disco lights.  “I totally forgot that
you still had these.”

“Me
too.
  When was that party, like five months ago?  Sorry mate,
I should have returned them before now.”

“Doesn’t
matter.
  I’m just glad you were at home when I realised.”  I
pull the box out and place it on the grass.  Dan places the second box
beside it and closes the boot.

“I can help you get
set up if you like.  I’m in no hurry to get home.”

“Are you sure?” 
I ask.

“Yeah Jo’s not coming
around ‘til later.”

“Oh okay, that’d be
great.  Thanks.”

We lug the boxes up
to the open garage door.  I am greeted by a largish man with sparkling
green eyes almost the same as
Em’s
.

“Hi I’m Nick,” I say,
shakily balancing the heavy box against my hip with one hand while reaching out
with the other to shake the man’s hand.  “I’m the DJ.”

“Oh right, Emma’s
friend.  Nice to meet you, I’m Brian, her Dad,” he says, smiling as
he shakes my hand.  “And you are?”  He turns to Dan with his arm
still extended.

“I’m Dan.  I’m
helping Nick set up.”  They shake.

“So where do you want
us to do this?”  I ask, looking around the garage.

“Over here in this
corner.  There’s a power point right here.”  He walks over to the
wall and touches it.  “Will this work?  Do you need anything else?”

“It’s perfect, and I
have everything I need.”

Dan and I busy
ourselves lugging boxes from my car and setting everything up.  The whole
time my eyes continue to wander about looking for
Em
who is nowhere to be seen.  I only spot her the once, out in the marquee
but she doesn’t acknowledge me.  She’s busy placing food on tables and
then she disappears back inside the house.

Once I’m all set, I
walk out towards where I saw her last and almost stumble into a tall guy with
longish shaggy hair.

“Hey, I’m Ethan.”

“Nick, hi, hey Happy
Birthday!”  I shake his hand.

“Thanks!  And
thanks for doing this on such short notice.”

“This is my mate
Dan.”  I introduce the two of them distractedly.  They exchange
pleasantries as I look around again for
Em
.

“Apologies for my
sister, she should’ve introduced us.”  Ethan says to me.

“I guess she’s busy.”

“Yeah,
showing off her new boyfriend.”
  He rolls his eyes just as I see
Em
walking out the back door hand in hand with some
guy.  They are smiling at each other totally oblivious to my presence and
I see red, fitting really, considering that she has changed outfits from the
casual one I saw her in earlier.  She is wearing a red dress, type of
chiffon, not unlike the one she wore to that wedding she went to.  I have
it as my screensaver on my phone, so I know it well.  I barely notice
Ethan walking away as
Em
offers me a lame arse wave
from where she is standing holding
his
hand and chatting away happily to a group of people that have just arrived.