Finding My Way (49 page)

“It’s nothing.” 
I stand up and push my chair in then take my glass to the sink.  “I’m just
going to head over to Dan’s.”  I give her a kiss on the cheek. 
“Night Ma.”

If anyone can help me
sort through the crap going on in my head, it will be Dan.  Unfortunately,
when I get there I find Jo sitting on the couch.  I greet them both and we
speak of nothing in particular while we watch Friday night footy on the TV and
drink a couple of beers.  My mind is still on the situation with
Em
and not at all on the footy match.

“Hey Nick are you
okay?” Jo asks, leaning towards me, nudging me with her shoulder to get my
attention.

I blink rapidly for a
moment and contemplate my standard answer of “I’m fine”.  However, I was
hoping to talk to Dan about this.  My eyes flick from Jo’s concerned ones
to Dan’s that are focused on the TV.  I suppose there is no harm in
talking to Jo.  She’s a pretty cool chick.

“You look lost in
thought.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so quiet,” she says with
an honest smile.

“I, it’s, the thing
is…”  I blunder not knowing quite how to speak all of a sudden.

“If this is about a
girl, you can talk to me.  I know you and Kelly are over, whatever it
was.  I’m not mad and neither is she, just so you know.  You can talk
to me.  You don’t have to feel awkward about it,” she reassures
me.  I hadn’t even thought about her friendship with Kelly, though it is a
relief to hear there are no hard feelings.  Jo’s face is full of kindness
and her words are genuine, making me
want
to open up
to her.

“Okay.”
 
I pause, trying to sort out the jumble in my
head.  “It is about a girl.  She’s different from other girls I’ve
hooked up with.  She doesn’t do that sort of thing.  She’s just come
out of a relationship and isn’t ready for a new one.”

“Are you saying you
want to have a relationship with this girl?”

“No.  We’re
friends,” I answer curtly, but I know it’s more than that.

“Okay so what is the
problem?”

“We went clubbing
last weekend, or rather she turned up at the club I was
DJing
at, and we were dancing and things got physical.  I drove her home and she
kind of came onto me.”

“Right, so you’re not
attracted to her?”  Jo looks confused.

“No, I mean
yes.  Yes, I’m attracted to her.”  I rub my hands over my face. 
“God, I am
so attracted
to her.  It’s… well, she had been drinking
and I don’t think she realised what she was doing and I think maybe I came onto
her first, so anyway, I took her to bed.”

“Oh Nick, you slept
with her anyway?”  Jo admonishes.

“No!  That’s the
thing, I tucked her in to bed and I left.”

“
You
what
?”
  Dan pipes up from the other side of Jo. 
I knew
he was listening
.  “Are you telling me that
The Nick “ladies’ man”
Kristos
took a girl home to bed and didn’t shag
her?”  He laughs shaking his head.  I however, am not in a laughing
mood.

“Just forget it,” I
grumble and make a move to leave the couch, but Jo puts her hand on my arm
catching me off guard.

“Wait
Nick.”
  She turns to Dan and slaps him on the chest with the back
of her hand.  “You shut up!  I want to hear what Nick has to
say.”  She turns back to me.  “You care about her don’t you?”

“Yeah I
kinda
do.”

“So then what
happened?”  Jo asks.

“Well the next day I
went to her place and she was so mad at me.  She trusted me to be her
friend and I took advantage of her when she was drunk.  I should never
have touched her or kissed her like that.  I crossed the line.”

“Did she say
that?  I mean, you didn’t sleep with her.  You drove her home and she
kissed you.  Am I right?”  Jo raised her eyebrow at me.

“Well, yeah.”

“Are you sure you are
reading her right?  I mean-”

“She just wants to be
friends,” I interrupt her.

“If you’re sure
that’s what she wants, then you have to respect that.”

“Yeah I know, I
fucked up and now she won’t speak to me.  She asked for space and I’ve
given it to her but… I
kinda
miss her.”

I watch as Jo and Dan
exchange a look and then both turn to me with condescending smiles.  I
can’t help but smile back.

“What’s her
name?” Dan asks through his grin, finally being an invested friend.

“
Em
,
her name’s Emma.”  He only nods in response with a goofy smile on his
face.  Man, maybe I shouldn’t have said anything.  He is like a dog
with a
bone,
I know I will be teased about this. 
I speak before he gets a chance.  “I’m supposed to be
DJing
at her brother’s 21
^st
tomorrow night.  What am I supposed to
do?”

“Does she still want
you to even be the DJ?”  Dan asks.

“Fuck, I didn’t even
think of that!  Maybe they hired someone else.  Shit I turned down
another gig too, so I could do it.”

“Well you better find
out because if you don’t turn up and she
is
expecting you she will be
extra pissed then.”

I wave goodbye one
last time as Seth leaves the apartment.  I have a smile that is so wide, a
smile that has been permanently attached to my face all week long.  Things
with Seth are going really well.  He has driven me to work and back every
day and we have practically eaten every meal together this past week. 
Things are moving pretty fast.  We’ve kind of become an
insta
-couple, and it’s great.

Tonight Seth cooked
me pasta at my place.  It was only a basic bolognaise but because he was
the one to cook for me it was utterly delicious.  It warmed my heart to
see him smiling and working in my kitchen.

On the physical front
we haven’t done anything more than make-out, constantly.  No
sleepovers.  Tonight there was some under clothes hand movement, not
enough to satisfy though.  I admire his willingness to hold back and take
things slow, but at the same time, I am as horny as hell.  I don’t think I
can take much more of the heavy petting with no conclusion.

‘I’m Sexy and I Know
It
’ plays on my phone interrupting my thoughts.  I hit
ignore.  That is only the second time that Nick has tried to contact me
since he sent me that
space
picture. 
As I have been riding to work with Seth each day and have successfully avoided
Nick all week.  I know it’s childish.  It’s also easier this way, I
cannot face the humiliation.  He sends me a text.

Nick:  You
can’t avoid me forever.

It hurts me to think
that I could.  I don’t want to ignore him forever. 
He texts again.

Nick:  Does
your brother still want me to DJ at his party?

I hadn’t forgotten
that I am supposed to face him tomorrow.  I have been worried all week
about it.  I felt terrible the other night when I invited Seth to come
along, instantly regretting it because I wanted to avoid a confrontation with
both of them there.  I have been stressing about having the two of them in
the same room at Ethan’s party.  That’s stupid though, isn’t it?  I
mean Seth is my boyfriend and Nick is just a friend that I humiliated myself
with.  It will be okay.

Me:  Yes

I text him
back.  Not knowing what else to say.  Then I realise that he doesn’t
have Mum and Dad’s address so I text him that too.

Nick:  Party
starts at 8, right?  It takes about an hour to set up.  I have some
disco lights I can bring too if you like.

Me:  Yes, it
starts at 8.  Disco lights sound great.

Nick:  I look
forward to seeing you then

I don’t respond to
his last text.  I mean, what am I supposed to say to that?  His words
kind of thrill me a little but I don’t understand why.  This is going to
be awkward.

I walk down the
hallway to the bathroom to take a shower, whistling the whole time.  It
has been a whirlwind of a week.  First with Emma’s declaration to Sophie
that we are a couple, then being able to spend nearly every waking moment with
her, and now tonight I will get to meet her friends and family at this
party.  Things have progressed rather fast but at the same time not nearly
fast enough.  I am falling hard for this girl and I couldn’t be
happier.  Actually… that’s not quite true.
 
One thing that could make me happier at this point is for us to-

I hear my phone
ringing in my bedroom and turn back to retrieve it.

“Good morning
beautiful.”  I greet Emma with a smile on my face.

“Seth,
hi.
  Are you busy?”

“I was just about to
take a shower.  Why?”  I get silence.  “Emma?”

“Right,” she
says croakily before clearing her throat. 
“And after
that?
  You see I’m getting my new bed delivered in about an hour
and I’m having a bit of trouble moving furniture at the moment.”

“So you want me for
my superhuman muscle strength?”  I kid.

“Yeah something
like
that.”  She laughs.  I love the sound of that
laugh.

“Okay, I’ll be there
in about twenty minutes.”

By the time Seth
arrives, I have completely barricaded myself in the bedroom.

“Yep, I’m
coming!” I yell as I try to scramble up and over my bedhead which is
blocking my door.  He knocks again.  “Hang on!” I yell louder, not
sure if he heard me the first time.  I manage to hurl myself over the top
and land on my feet, without hurting myself.

By the time I reach
the front door I’m panting.

“Hi Seth,” I say
through fragmented breaths.  “Sorry, I was trapped by my bed.”

He smiles his sexy
smile, visibly thinking a somewhat devious thought about my words, just as I
was earlier on the phone when he mentioned “shower.”  I can’t help but
blush and return his smile.  He lunges for me and crushes his lips to
mine.  I put my arms around his neck and pull my body flush against
his.  He shuts the door behind him with his foot.  One of his hands
gently squeezes my hip while the other trails down towards my bottom.  I
push him back.  He is breathing as heavily as I am.  Yep I don’t
think either of us will be able to hold off much longer.

“Hi.”  He smiles
leaning in for another kiss.

“Nope.
 
The delivery guys will be here soon.”  I shake my head and shove his
shoulder.  He releases me to remove his shoes then follows me as I head
toward my room.  He reaches my bedroom doorway and starts shaking
uncontrollably with laughter.

“Trapped by your bed
huh?  I see what you mean,” he manages to say through hoots of amusement
as he stares at the mess I have made.  With one swift leap, using his arm
as leverage on the top rail of my bedhead, he makes his way over and into my
bedroom.  Pulling an Allen key from his jeans pocket, he says, “Always
prepared,” as he starts to undo one of the bolts of the bed frame.  I
watch on from the other side of the doorway as he deftly undoes the entire
frame within a couple of minutes.  Once he moves the bedhead from the
door, I enter the room and assist him in carrying the now separated pieces of
my old bed out.

“Thanks Seth. 
What would I have done without you?” I say.

“You would probably
still be trapped in that room.  So what are you going to do with this
lot?” he asks gesturing to the bed that is now in pieces on my living room
floor.

“I want to set it up
in the spare room,” I say to him as I bat my eyes, hoping he will help me with
that too.

“At your service,” he
smiles.  I like it.

We spend the next
thirty minutes moving the individual pieces into the already crowded junk
room.  I hastily push all the boxes and other items to one corner of the
room, while Seth reassembles the bed.  I leave him to it when the
furniture delivery guys arrive and start setting up my new bed.  I head
back to the spare room just as Seth drops the mattress on the base of the now
assembled bed.  I hastily put a fresh sheet on and make the bed with my
old doona and pillows.

“Excuse me Miss?” I
turn to find one of the delivery guys in the doorway.  “We’re all
done.  Could I get your signature here please?” he says holding out a
clipboard.  I sign the paperwork and walk him and his partner to the door
and thank them.

I head back to my
bedroom and start unwrapping my new doona and linen.  Seth helps me to
make my new bed.  Somehow, it becomes erotic.  The way he fluffs my
pillows, the flirty glances, I think that the room just got a lot hotter. 
When we finish making the bed, I stand back and jump up and down, smiling with
glee.  I am very happy with my purchase!  I must remember to thank
Nick for his help with buying it and let him know how great it looks.

“Now what do you want
to do?” I ask him, quickly pushing thoughts of Nick away.  I am so happy
that Seth is here, finally in
my room
looking at me in
that
way.  I can tell by the suggestive way that he is gazing at me that he is
thinking what I am.  He exhales but still says nothing.

“Well?” I ask as I
raise my eyebrow.  “I know you’ve got something to say!”  I can tell
he is struggling with the words on the tip of his tongue. 
“Out with it!”
 I smile as shivers of anticipation run
down my spine.

“Oh you know me so
well now do you?” he says darkly as he makes his way over to me.

“Yes… I think I
do.”
 
I breathe out as he grabs both of
my hands.

“I was thinking maybe
we could christen this new bed of yours,” he says unashamedly, his eyes
smouldering at me. 
“
Now
.”