Finding Ever After (31 page)

           
I really hope she doesn’t slam the door in my face.

           
My stomach was in knots as I waited
outside Bas and
Lissa’s
apartment. I knew she was
home, I just hoped she would listen to what I had to say. I heard footsteps
inside and steeled myself for the confrontation that was about to happen. When
the door finally opened, Lissa looked about as happy to see me as I thought she
would be.

           
Her face also hinted that she had been handling the separation just as well as
Bas. She looked like she had lost a little weight and there definitely wasn’t
any light in her narrowed eyes. There were bags and dark circles underneath
them and everything about the way she was carrying herself indicated
exhaustion.

           
“What are you doing here? Haven’t you already got what you wanted? What more
could you possibly take from me?” Her tone wasn’t angry or harsh, just
dejected.

           
“I didn’t come here to take anything. I never took anything from you to begin
with.” I countered, but arguing wasn’t the way to convince her to hear me out
and she started to close the door in my face. I stuck my hand out to stop her.
“Please just let me explain everything. Afterward, if you still hate me, I’ll go
and I promise I won’t bother you again. Just know this might be your only shot
to get Bas back, and if the state you’re in is any indication, you miss him
just as much as he misses you so it would be worth it for you to give me ten
minutes.” I pleaded.

           
“He misses me?” Her voice was laden with skepticism.

           
“Yes. He does.”

           
“Fine.
Ten minutes.” She opened the door wider for me
to pass. She didn’t offer me anything to drink or a place to sit, but it didn’t
really matter, I wasn’t here for pleasantries.

           
“Bas has been like a teenage girl moping around my house. He’s cranky and
irritable, but mostly he’s sad. He’s too damn stubborn to admit it, but it’s
killing him.”

           
“Why are you telling me any of this, shouldn’t you be happy that you have him
all to yourself?
And, if he really misses me then why isn’t
he here making things right?”

           
“I’m sorry to be blunt, but he’s not here because he wasn’t the one who was
wrong. Granted he should have done a better job of communicating with you so
that you would understand, but part of that is my fault-” She cut me off before
I could finish.

           
“Part of it?
This whole damn situation is your fault.
For two years I’ve been hearing Jazz this and Jazz that, and I tolerated it
because you weren’t here, but I lived every damn day in your shadow, hoping you
would stay gone because I knew there was no way I could compete with your
history.

           
“Then you showed back up and it was worse, because I wasn’t just hearing about
you, he was running off to be with you. All he would tell me was that you
needed him. You didn’t have anything to do with him for three years and yet the
second you came back, you wrapped him around your finger. Do you get off on
manipulating everyone in your life? Do you have to be the center of attention?
I just don’t understand how you could use him like that and not think what
you’re doing is wrong.”

           
“I’ve done a lot of things wrong, but what you think is going on between Bas
and I
is
not one of them. You’re way off about me
manipulating him. You don’t know anything about my life, the reasons I left,
why I came back or my so called history with Bas, but if you’ll just listen
I’ll tell you. Bas has kept secrets from you out of loyalty to me, not because
he was betraying you, but because they weren’t his secrets. He was protecting
me.”

           
“Protecting you?”

           
“Do you know who Jack Malloy is?”

           
“Is there anyone in Boston who doesn’t? What does he have to do with this?” She
asked impatiently.

           
“What do you know about him?”     

           
“He was allegedly part of the Irish mob here, but nothing could be proven when
the feds took most of them down. Now he’s one of the richest, most powerful men
in Boston. He owns hotels, casinos, clubs, restaurants and half the city. Most
people think he’s still mixed up in a lot of illegal dealings.”

           
“He’s also my father, and there’s nothing alleged about his ties to the mob or
his more recent criminal activities.” Her eyes widened in disbelief and her
mouth was hanging partially open, but she didn’t say a word.

           
“My mom fell for him back when he was just a low level enforcer. When she got
pregnant she knew he would never commit and she didn’t want me anywhere near
his lifestyle. I didn’t meet him until after she passed away when I was twelve.
At that point he was building his empire, but most of it is just a front. He’s
still involved with the worst of the city. Dangerous men were in and out of our
house all the time and my father has more than his fair share of enemies.

           
“Because of that my life has been in danger more than once. Bas has always been
there for me; through every awful day of my life connected to that man. He
feels extremely protective of me, especially since the night I was attacked by
someone who works for my dad.” I raised my shirt part way so that she could get
a glimpse of the scar. She gasped. “It was really bad and I wouldn’t have
survived if Bas hadn’t found me and gotten me help. That’s what all of this is
about, what he couldn’t tell you.

           
“A big part of the reason I left Boston is because I wasn’t safe here, and
since coming back the person who attacked me has been making threats. Bas and
everyone else
is
afraid to leave me alone, but I swear
to you that’s it. I’m sorry that my problems came between you two, but I’m
telling you all of this so you can fix it.” She remained silent for another
minute while she processed everything I told her.

           
“You really aren’t taking him from me?” Her voice was a barely audible, but I
could hear the hope in it.

           
“No. I’m really not. It’s only you for him, even in high school he was in love
with you. He might kill me for telling you this, but he traded just to get a
locker near yours so he could see you between classes and he would make me
spend our lunch outside of the music building just so he could listen to you
practice for those twenty minutes. You had him then, and you still have him now
if you want him.”

           
“I do. God, I do.” She choked out, happy tears running down her cheeks. She
surprised me by wrapping her arms around my neck and hugging me. At first I
wasn’t sure how to respond to the unexpected embrace, but I raised my arms
tentatively and returned the somewhat awkward hug, until it no longer felt so
awkward.

           
“I’m sorry.” She said, wiping her eyes as she pulled away. “I really was a
bitch to you. I was so stupid for not listening to him.”

           
“It’s okay, he was stupid for not doing a better job of reassuring you, and I
was stupid for letting my baggage get between you two.”

           
“Why are you telling me all this?
Why would you be
nice and help me after all of the awful things I said about you and to you? You
should hate me.” I couldn’t hate someone who meant so much to one of the most
important people in my life. I wasn’t sure if we would ever be close friends,
but I hoped so.

           
“Bas loves you. That’s enough for me. I know you’re not really an awful person
or he wouldn’t love you so much, and I get why you thought what you did. If I
were in your place I might’ve reacted the same way.”

           
“My only defense is that love makes you crazy.” Yeah, I was starting to get
that. Not that I was in love.

           
“So, do you think he’ll talk to me if I go back with you? Will he forgive me?”
There was so much fear in her voice and the way she was chewing her lip only
reinforced my impression that this girl was more insecure than she tried to let
on. I had been trying to see her actions as those of a girl afraid of losing
the guy she loved, but now I had a glimpse inside of her and I saw that it was
more than that.

           
On a deeper level she didn’t think she deserved his love and I felt for her,
because I had been there. Some days I was still there. Although we hadn’t
started off in the right place, or anywhere near it, in that moment I felt
fiercely protective of her. She was the girl Bas loved. She was his “forever,”
and that meant I was going to love her too. She was family now, and I wanted to
start throwing punches at whoever had made her doubt herself.

           
I didn’t just hope that we would be good friends one
day,
I was determined to make it happen. I wanted her to be able to open up to me,
and someday feel comfortable enough to share her story. Everyone has one, and
the pain in
Lissa’s
eyes said hers wasn’t all
sunshine and rainbows.

           
“Actually, I’m not sure if he will talk to you.” Her expression dropped even
more and she just nodded her head and looked down at her feet. “He might just
throw you over his shoulder and drag you up to the spare bedroom.” I grinned
when her eyes shot up to mine. “I’m sure eventually he’ll get around to the
talking part though, after he has his way with you.” For once it wasn’t my
cheeks that turned pink.

           
“Bas is at his mom’s right now, which is why I was able to come over here. He
thinks I’m spending the day with my brother’s wife and my niece, but you can
come back with me. While we wait for him I’ll fill you in on all of his
embarrassing secrets and I’m sure you know a few that
I
don’t.” She grinned back at me.

           
“Christian and his Dad have told me some funny
stories,
I can’t wait to hear more.”

           
“I have all the good ones that even they don’t know.” Just like that we were
already on our way to friends, and I was excited to have another girl to talk
to.

           
More than anything I just couldn’t wait for
mopey
Bas
to disappear once I surprised him with his girl. It would be a little sad to
see him go. I’d gotten used to always having him around and it would mean I’d
have to figure something else out for the Connor problem. I needed to deal with
him, but I was still reluctant to go to the cops. I was afraid of what the
repercussions could be for the people I cared about. I knew how he and my
father operated. They were good at making people pay and the price was always
high.

           
On the ride to my house I kept my promise to Lissa and left her with plenty of
stories to use against Bas in the future and I gained a few more of my own. I
slowed the car down as we turned into my neighborhood and I knew something
wasn’t right. As soon as I saw the black smoke above the rooftops my heart
lurched.

           
No. No. No. Oh God, please no.

           
I pulled up at the end of my block and jumped out of the car as soon as the engine
shut off. I left the keys in the ignition, not worried about anything other
than the assemblage of fire trucks and cop cars sitting directly in front of my
house, and the smoke billowing out the side. I ran toward the mass of people
gathered in the streets, surrounding the area. I pushed my way
through,
pretty sure Lissa was following behind me. I think
I even heard her call out my name, but I didn’t slow down for even a second.

           
When I broke free of the crowd, the sight before me stopped my heart and almost
dropped me to my knees. There weren’t any visible flames, but there was a lot
of smoke coming from the kitchen area. I was on the opposite side and when I
tried to move closer I was stopped by one of the firemen.

           
“Excuse me miss, but you need to step
back.” His hands were gentle, but firm on my arms and there was no way I was
getting any closer. I tried to open my mouth to speak, but I couldn’t form
anything coherent. “That’s . . . I need . . . what? My . . .” His brow was creased
and he looked down at me like he thought I was unstable, which at that point, I
was a little. Thankfully Lissa had followed me.

           
“That’s her house.” He looked from Lissa then back at me.

           
“This is your house miss?” I still didn’t think I could speak, so I just
nodded. “Okay, come with me. These officers over here will explain everything
to you and I’m sure they will have some questions as well.” He directed me
toward a couple of cops standing in the street. “The flames originated in the
kitchen but we have the fire almost completely out now and we’ll be able to
give you a report on the damage soon. In the mean-time these are officers Lewis
and Crowley.” He indicated the two
policeman
.

           
They looked up at our approach upon hearing their names. Their eyes shifted
from the fireman, whose name either hadn’t been spoken or I had missed, and
landed on me.

           
“This girl says she lives here.” He told them before turning to address me
again.

           
“I’m going to leave you here and go find out the status of the fire. I promise
as soon as we have an update for you I’ll let you know.” He reassured me, but I
wasn’t in any state to be reassured. I wasn’t even sure how my feet had managed
to carry me over here. I felt like I was going to collapse any minute. My house
was on fire, or did he say it wasn’t on fire anymore? Either way at some point,
my house, the only place left in the world that still held pieces of my mom,
the only place I could truly call home, had been on fire.

           
 I realized that one of the officers, I didn’t remember which because I
hadn’t paid much attention to their names, was talking to me.

           
“Are you the homeowner
miss
?” Once again I found
myself nodding in place of trying to form words. “What’s your name?” His face
was kind and his voice was gentle, but it did little to calm me.

           
Crap, what did he ask?
My name?

           
“Jazz.”
Wait, no that wasn’t right.
“Zane, I mean, my, uh Jaxyn. My name is Jaxyn Zane.” I managed to spit out.
“Sorry.”

           
“It’s okay Miss Zane. You’re in shock, but everything is going to be fine. Why
don’t you come have a seat?” He placed his hand on my arm and led me over to
the police SUV parked behind us. He opened the back door and helped me to climb
up inside. I sat with my feet hanging out the door, still staring at the side
of my house. I had a little bit better view from where we were and I could see
a lot of black on the side.

           
“Miss Zane, is there anyone you can think of who would have reason to set fire
to your home?”
What?

           
“Someone did this?” I whispered, but
really that should have been my first thought.

           
“We don’t know that for sure, but one of your neighbors saw someone running
away from that side of the house just moments before the flames started. We
won’t know for sure that it was arson until an investigation is done, but while
we wait for the report we’re just covering the bases. Now, is there anyone that
comes to mind?” I didn’t need an investigation to tell me that it was
intentional, and I knew who did it.

           
“Miss
Zane,
is there someone.” I looked him directly
in the eyes and tried to make sure my voice was as calm and steady as I could.

           
“No. I can’t think of anyone who would do this.” Maybe I should have told them,
maybe they could have done something, but I knew the odds were slim. There
wouldn’t be any evidence, and I could guarantee that whoever was seen running
from my yard wasn’t Connor
himself
and I doubted if an
identification could be made either way. No, the cops couldn’t help because
even if I convinced every cop in Massachusetts that Connor was responsible for
this, he was untouchable without more proof. Even then my father’s lawyers
would get him off. I wanted to scream and cry and hit something, but I didn’t.
I sat there quietly until the fireman came back.

           
“Thankfully your neighbor called us right away and we got here in time to keep
the fire contained, but the damage to the kitchen from the fire and water is
extensive and there will be smoke damage throughout the house. Once we finish
up and the smoke clears, you’ll be able to do a walk through and gather
anything you need. We were able to determine that the fire was started by an
incendiary device.” I was having a hard time focusing on anything he was
saying. All I heard was that Connor had managed to take more from me.

           
“Jazz!”
Bas’ voice snapped me out of my
daze
. I looked up and saw him and Chris both pushing their
way toward me with Lissa on their heels. I hadn’t even noticed that she left my
side. She must have called him. I should have called him. Crap I needed to call
Shane and
Vi
, and the insurance company. I reached for
my purse to get my cell phone and realized I didn’t have it on me.
Where’s
my purse?
Oh, that’s
right,
I left it in my car.
My
car!

           
I’d left my keys in the car and the door wide open. I jumped up to get to my
car but instead I hit a brick wall.
“Jazz, where are you
going.”
He gripped my arms and prevented me from going anywhere. Why
didn’t he understand that I had to get to my car? I needed my purse. I had
phone calls to make.

           
“Car,” was my only response but still he didn’t release his grip.
“My car.”
I said a little more forcefully, aware that the
fireman who had been speaking to me, and the two officers that had remained by
my side, along with Chris and Lissa, were all staring at me.

           
“Jazz.
Stop. Your car is fine.” He didn’t understand.
I needed my phone. I needed to call people. I needed to do something. I needed
to fix this.

           
“I need to get my phone. I need my phone Bas.” I pleaded with him.

           
“No you don’t. You need to calm down. You’re shaking Jazz.”
Was I?
I
didn’t notice. “Just
breathe,
it’s going to be
alright. We’ll take care of it, but first you have to stop freaking out.” He
was right, I knew he was right, but I couldn’t stop myself. I lost it and threw
myself into his arms. He wrapped them around me and held me tightly, whispering
that it would be okay while I sobbed into his chest.

           
Someone came up behind
Bas
and took my hand in
theirs. I knew it had to be Lissa because the hand was small and feminine. I
lifted my head and looked over his shoulder to see her looking back at me. She
squeezed my hand and gave me a sympathetic smile. I was really glad she was
here.

           
“I don’t know what to do Bas. He tried to burn down my house.” I whispered.

           
“It’s okay Jazz. I promise it will be okay. I won’t let anything happen to you.
The house can be fixed. We don’t even know yet how much was damaged, so we’ll
worry about that later.”

           
“I need to call Shane and
Vi
.”

           
“I already called them
both,
you don’t need to do
anything. I’ll stay with you until you can go inside and then we’ll stay with
Chris.” This is not how today was supposed to go.

           
“No. You need to talk to her, you two have to make up.” I insisted, pulling
away from him and gesturing at Lissa.

           
“Look, I don’t know what she was doing here, what either of you were doing
here, when you told me you were spending the day with Lucy, but we can talk
about it later.”

           
“No. You’re going to talk to her right now. Connor is not messing this up
again.”

           
“I will talk to her, I promise, but right now
Jazz,
I
need to be here for you.”

           
“No! You’re going to talk to her right now. You two are going to go sit in my
car, or your car or wherever and you’re not coming out until you’re kissing
again, and you’re not going to argue with me because I am a little crazy right
now.”

           
“Really
Jazz
, it can wait until after we deal with
this.” He argued.

           
“No.
It. Can. Not.
You talk to her now.” I demanded,
letting some of the crazy out. “Chris will wait with me until you guys are
done, and then we’ll go in and get our stuff. You two will go home and spend
the rest of the night making up and I will stay with Chris.” Bas started to
protest, but I didn’t give him the chance to say a word. “It’s not up for
discussion Bas. I’ve made up my mind and you know how pointless it would be for
you to try and change it.” He let out a defeated sigh.

           
“Come on Liss, I guess we got some talking to do.” I gave her an encouraging
smile as she followed after him.

           
While they talked Chris and I stood there and waited to be allowed into the
house. The crowd around us thinned as people trickled back to their own houses.
Some stuck around and a few neighbors even came up to tell me how sorry they
were and to try and get information about what had happened. Chris ran
interference for me because I wasn’t in any state to deal with anyone prying.

           
Bas and Lissa came back holding hands about the same time the fireman said we
could go inside. They decided it would be better if I didn’t though and all my
fight was gone so I didn’t argue. Bas and Lissa went in to grab clothes and
personal items I would need. 

           
It wasn’t until I was in Chris’ car, on my way to his house that I realized I
would have to tell the rest of the guys everything. After this, there was no
keeping the truth from them.

           
I was nervous as Chris and I walked up the steps to his front door. I didn’t
know how to tell them or how they would react. The last time I told someone, it
didn’t go so well. I didn’t even want to think about what it was going to be
like, sharing the same space with Kyden.

           
“Hey Rainbow, did you come to cook for us again? I have to say, coming home to
a fridge full of food and more of your baked goods last night,
was
amazing. Once again I would like to extend my offer of
marriage.” Spade greeted me enthusiastically when we walked in the door. He was
seated in front of the flat screen in the living room, along with Kyden and
Ace. They had controllers in their hands. The sounds of gunfire and explosions
came through the speakers. When he looked over at me again and noticed the
duffel bag in my hand he became even more excited.

           
“Even better, you’re moving in. Does this mean you’ve decided to accept my
proposal?” He asked. “Hey motherfucker quit shooting at
me,
we’re on the same team.” He yelled at one of them.

           
“Then get your head back in the game douche bag.” Ace retorted. “She’s not
gonna
marry your stupid ass. If anything she’s here for me.
Isn’t that right beautiful?” Ace teased with a wink before turning back to the
game. Kyden had yet to acknowledge me with anything more than a quick glance
when I first came in.

           
“I am going to be staying with you guys for a little while if it’s alright?”

           
“Of course it is Rainbow, but why you staying here? You really can’t stand to
be away from me, can you?”

           
Well here goes nothing.

           
“Conner
setmyhouseonfire
.”
I mumbled out quickly. All three heads snapped in my direction and
each pair of eyes found mine. Guess they heard me well enough.

           
“You
wanna
say that again Princess? Because it
sounded a lot like you said that bastard set your house on fire.” I chewed my
lip nervously and tried not to make eye contact with him. Instead I looked at
Ace and Spade. Their faces showed the same severity that I heard in Kyden’s
voice.