Finding Ever After (30 page)

           
“Kyden is more than likely going to make an ass out of himself.
Often.
I just don’t want you to be disappointed and write
him off like your dad and Connor when it happens. I think you’re friendship
could really be good for him if you accept that he might never change, but that
doesn‘t make him a bad guy.”

           
“Believe me, I’ve already accepted that.” Did I not already say that I wasn’t
expecting him to change? Wasn’t that my whole point?

           
“I know you say it and you probably want to mean it, but I just want to make
sure that you really do accept it, because being his friend isn’t easy. I don’t
want to keep seeing you get crushed when he lets you down.” Bas made a good
point. Was I really ready to deal with the endless string of girls in and out
of his bed, the vulgar language, coarse behavior and all around disregard for
the sanctity of what relationships and sex should be? Was I willing to
recognize those things as a part of him and still care in spite of them?

           
He had his own brokenness and I didn’t have the right to judge him because of
it. He needed someone to believe in him and not abandon him when he falls
short. If he had issues with women, like Bas made it seem, then I was going to
have to show him patience and grace even when it was hard for me to do so. I needed
to care about him not just in spite of his short comings, but for them. It was
an understatement when Bas said being his friend wouldn’t be easy. Thinking of
him in this light, as someone who had been hurt, and looking beyond it, would
make it that much harder to keep my heart from becoming more entangled than it
already was. Yet, even knowing how difficult and probably painful it was going
to be for me, there really was only one decision I could make.

           
“I can handle it.” I promised Bas, and myself, right there.

           
I followed Bas back inside and after searching the crowd we found Vi and Jake
standing near one of the stairways in the back, talking with Chris and Danny.
They’d stopped serving drinks at the bar and the show was beginning to wind
down. Some people were already filing out the doors as the band neared the end
of their set.

           
It was after midnight and I was definitely ready to go home. The long day and
all the dancing was catching up with me. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be
able to make the drive home, but I was the only sober one of us four.

           
I was standing quietly between
Vi
and Bas, not really
listening to the guys talk about the show, when an excited Spade came over
whooping and hollering. He drew the attention of several sets of eyes around
us, but didn’t even notice, or just didn’t care. Something had him fired up.

           
“
SoundTrain
was here tonight, they want us. They
fucking want us!” He exclaimed. I had no idea what he was talking about, but
from the look on the rest of the guys’ faces, it was a big deal. Bas caught my
confusion and clarified it for me.

           
“
SoundTrain
is a major recording label. This could be
huge for them if they get a deal.”

           
“More than huge, this could be fucking epic!” Spade was giddy like a kid on
Christmas and I couldn’t help but be excited for them, they deserved nothing
less.

           
“When did you talk to them? What exactly did they say?” Chris asked eagerly.

           
“Two guys from the label approached Kyden, Ace and I just now. They came here
to check out all three bands playing but they said they’ve been hearing a lot
about us and after watching us tonight they think we’re exactly what they’re
looking for. They want to set up a meeting next week. They’re already throwing
out things like a tour and getting an album released as soon as possible. They
want Hollow Crossing too.”

           
That was the name of Kaylie’s band and as much as I didn’t want to be happy for
her, I couldn’t deny that Hollow Crossing deserved this as well. They all had
so much talent. It would be one more thing tying her and Kyden together. I
tried not to dwell on that fact, but I couldn’t help it.
Baby
steps.
I wasn’t going to be able to shut it off in one night, and there
was a good chance that even when I got past my feelings, I would never be okay
with their relationship.

           
“Where are Kyden and Ace?” Chris questioned, looking around the room. My eyes
wandered through the crowd as well, seeking out their faces.
One
in particular.

           
“Ace is making sure everything got loaded into the van. I’m sure Kyden and
Kaylie are having a celebratory fuck in one of the bathrooms.” Spade replied,
but then looked like he regretted speaking. His and everyone else’s eyes,
flitted to me. “Shit, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

           
“What? It’s fine, he can do whoever he wants. We’re just friends.” I told them
and tried to mean it, but they still looked uncomfortable.

           
“We know, it’s just that we thought . . . well it
sorta
seemed like you two . . .” Spade struggled to get the words out, but I stopped
him before he said anymore.

           
“Seriously, there’s nothing going on between us. There never was. We’re just
friends, so you don’t have to try and spare me. I’m really okay with it.” I
didn’t feel okay, but this is what I’d decided. I had to learn to be okay with
it and keep my emotions in check.

           
“He’s such an idiot.” Spade mumbled, but I ignored it.

           
“Who’s an idiot?” Ace came up behind us and wrapped an arm around my shoulder.
I leaned into him and he pulled me tightly to his side.

           
“Ky.” Spade answered.

           
“Well no shit.” He looked down at me briefly, then back up. “If he doesn’t
figure it out soon, I might just steal his chance.” He winked down at me and I
just shook my head.

           
“Like I just told all of them, Kyden and I are friends. That’s it.” Maybe if I
said it another ten times they would start to believe me. Maybe I would start
to believe me.

           
I didn’t see Kyden before we left, but it was probably a good thing. I could
congratulate him tomorrow when he didn’t look like sex, reek like
skank
and have one attached to his hip.

           
Thankfully Ace offered to drive us home in my car when I admitted to being too
tired. The rest of the band and Danny had booked motel rooms in Springfield for
the night. We didn’t want to stay, and Ace said he didn’t mind. He was still
buzzing from the good news and hadn’t had a drop to drink all night.

           
The five of us said goodbye and then left the building the same way we came in.
I snuggled into the back seat with
Vi
who was squished
in the middle between me and her man. I don’t even think we were on the freeway
before I was asleep with my head resting on her shoulder.

           
Vi
shook me awake when the car pulled into my driveway
at almost three in the morning. Somehow I managed to walk from the car to my
porch and get the front door open. I tossed my purse and keys down and went
straight for the stairs. Bas was right behind me. I remember mumbling on my way
up to my room that Vi and Jake could sleep in my old room and Ace could have
the couch, but whether or not they heard me, I don‘t know. They could figure it
out. I discarded my clothes on the floor and threw on a t shirt and shorts
before climbing into bed.

           
I was incredibly thankful for the heavy curtains on my windows, as I managed to
sleep until noon.
Vi
and Jake were both gone when I finally
peeled myself from my mattress and went downstairs. Bas was in the kitchen on
his laptop and Ace was still snoring on my couch.

           
I put a kettle on the stove for tea and popped a slice of bread in the toaster.
I was too lazy to cook anything that required more effort. I could have
probably used another two hours of sleep but I did have a few things I wanted
to accomplish. The guys had another gig tonight, out of town. I thought it
would be fun, since I wasn’t going, to slip into their house and surprise them
with some baked goods and home cooked meals in their fridge for when they got
back.

           
I ran the idea past Bas and he was on board. I needed him since he was the one
with a spare key to their place. He wouldn’t be much help with the actual
baking and cooking though. His grilling skills were exceptional but other than
that, his usefulness in the kitchen was limited to opening stuff and stirring
if you wanted anything to come out edible. He just didn’t have the patience or
desire to learn to cook, plus I think he figured that if he actually learned,
it would give me an excuse to stop cooking for him. I’m not sure how her
survived while I was gone. I hope Lissa cooked for him, because if I was going
to do something I absolutely did not want to do tomorrow, to save their
relationship, she better at least cook for him.

           
An hour later Bas was still on his computer doing research for the internship
he landed. Ace hadn’t woken yet and Kyden showed up to give him a ride home. Unfortunately
he had Kaylie with him and she entered my house right behind him. It was just
the two of them and I knew they must have ridden back from Springfield
together, which meant there was a good chance they had stayed together for the
night. I hadn’t heard the bike so I wondered if Kyden had another vehicle or if
they were in hers. I only ever saw him on his bike.

           
I was glad that I had already showered and put on a cute summer dress. I would
have been mortified if he had showed up with her and I was still in my baggy
t-shirt and cotton shorts with bed hair and last night’s make up. I thought I
looked pretty cute in my dress, but then again, Kaylie had on another miniscule
denim skirt and an extremely low cut tank top on, so I could have worn a
garbage bag for all that it mattered.

           
Kyden went right into the living room and grabbed Ace’s shoes from the floor
and tossed them at him to wake him up. Ace just grumbled and threw them back.

           
“Wake up asshole, I want to get back to the house and take a nap before we have
to head to Lowell.”

           
Ace grumbled some more, but pulled himself up off the couch. He had jeans on,
but his chest was bare. Even though he didn’t make my heart race like Kyden
did, I could still appreciate the sight, and it was a shame when he covered it
up with the shirt he grabbed off the back of the couch. When I realized I had
been staring at him I quickly looked away. Kyden was frowning at me and Kaylie
had a scowl on her face as well, but that wasn’t unusual for her. Ace pressed a
chaste kiss to the top of my head as he passed by me and disappeared into the
bathroom.

           
“I
gotta
take a piss
too,
can I use the bathroom upstairs?” Kyden asked gruffly. I nodded and he took the
stairs two at a time, leaving me standing alone with Kaylie. To say that it was
awkward and uncomfortable was an understatement. I tried not to make eye
contact, because I could feel her scathing look without actually having to see
it. I was just turning to head back in to the kitchen, when she had decided to
open her mouth.

           
“So this is your house?” She asked snidely.

           
“
Mmhmm
.”
I replied as
neutrally as I could, hoping to discourage any further questions or comments.

           
“It’s so . . . quaint and very Martha Stewart.” It shouldn’t have been an
insult but it certainly came out sounding like one. “Just because someone
subscribes to
Better Homes and Gardens
doesn’t make them an interior
decorator.” She snickered. “You should really consider losing all the tacky
arts and crafts. Do-it-yourself really isn’t for everyone.”

           
I had to bite down in my tongue to keep from ripping into her. It wasn’t her
fault that she didn’t know about this place and my mom. I would give her the
benefit of the doubt that she wouldn’t actually stoop that low if she did.

           
“My mom made most of it. The projects were more about having fun for her and
trying something new, than worrying about perfection.” I hoped that would be
enough to get her to let it go.

           
“That’s pretty obvious. She’s dead though right? So it’s not like you have to
pretend to like it anymore. Unless you actually think it looks good? I guess it
would make sense. You had to get your
patheticness
from somewhere.” I was speechless. How could she make light of my mom like
that? I didn’t even have words for what I wanted to express to her.

           
 Her face twisted into a satisfied grin. She must have seen whatever she’d
hoped to achieve, on my face. How could Kyden not see how completely hideous
this girl was? There was no way he could be that blind, but if he did see, how
could he stand to have anything to do with her, let alone bring her into my
house? He had already witnessed her biting remarks directed at me so he had to
realize we would never be friends.

           
I could handle the insults and shots she took at me, but hearing her attack my
mother, someone she had never even met, who was the most amazing and loving
person in the entire world, was not something I could handle.
At all.
I wasn’t going to sink to her level though, she was
baiting me. All I wanted was to get out of this room and away from her before I
cracked and let her see just how deeply she had managed to twist the knife in.

           
When I turned to leave the room Ace was standing just outside the living room
with a stunned look on his face. He must have overheard at least some of our
exchange as his expression quickly turned to anger. I was sure he was about to
go off on Kaylie, but I shook my head at him. If she knew how much she’d gotten
to me, it would only give her more ammunition later.

           
I just wanted her out of my house and
away from every single piece of my mother that I had left. I passed Ace, who
tried to reach out for my arm, but I shook him off. I tried to keep the tears
out of my eyes as I climbed the stairs, but it was a struggle. Kyden was about
to go down when I made it to the top.

           
I didn’t bother looking up at him, and just mumbled a quick, “congratulations
on the record label. Good luck at your show tonight.” Only it came out more
like “
Congralationsonrecorlabel
.
G’luckatshownight
.”
I brushed right past him, into my room and shut the door behind me. I was
trying not to take my anger at Kaylie out on him, but I couldn’t help hold him
responsible for her. A tiny part of me might also have been scared that he
would choose her over me if I confronted him about it.
Sex or
friendship?
With him it was hard not to be afraid of what choice he
would make.