Read Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) Online
Authors: Lisa B. Kamps
Tags: #Contemporary, #Romance, #Fiction, #Doctor, #Hockey Player, #Child, #Family Life, #Cancer, #Knee Injury, #Nine Year-Old, #Sports Medicine, #Remission, #Clinic, #Cancer Relapse, #Emotional, #Second Chances, #Life, #Support, #Struggle, #Bachelor, #Single Mother, #Trauma, #Poignant, #Inspirational, #Tough Decisions
The engine purred quietly as he backed the car out of the driveway and through the residential streets of Catherine’s suburban neighborhood. The silence was broken by the soft background music coming from the stereo. Nathan swallowed, wishing his hands weren’t so sweaty against the steering wheel, wishing for something intelligent to say.
“Do you like Italian? I thought we could eat dinner in Little Italy. If that’s okay.”
“Hmm? Oh, yes. That’s fine.”
“We could go somewhere else if you want.”
“No, that’s fine. I haven’t been there in a while.”
Nathan nodded for lack of anything better to do and returned his attention to the traffic that was growing heavier as they approached the city line. His eyes kept darting over to Catherine. He took in the way she held herself so erect, so formal. He realized she was more than just nervous and knew that the hands she kept folded in her lap would be ice-cold if he reached over and took one in his. The idea suddenly seemed like a good one and he did just that, ignoring her little leap of surprise. Just as he thought, her hand was like ice.
“Are you cold? Do you want me to turn up the heat?”
“No. I’m just…it’s fine.” Catherine ducked her head then turned her attention out the window, refusing to meet his eyes as he caressed the back of her hand with his thumb.
“Well, you know what they say. Cold hands, warm heart.”
Catherine’s head whipped around and she stared at him with an expression just this side of horrified. He bit back a sigh and released her hand to downshift, hoping she wouldn’t take her hand back, not surprised when she did exactly that.
“That was supposed to be a joke, you know.”
“I — I know.” Again she focused her attention out the window, refusing to look at him as they pulled off the expressway. They drove the few short blocks to Little Italy in silence, Nathan at a complete loss for something to say. He imagined he heard a soft sigh of relief when he parked the car and turned off the engine, realized it probably wasn’t his imagination when Catherine’s hand darted for the door handle in her hurry to escape. He reached over and hit the electric lock, hoping it would at least make her hesitate.
“Catherine, do I really make you that nervous, or do you just really not like me?” Nathan wasn’t sure what made her stop and whip her head around in surprise — his question or the flatness in his voice. Her dark eyes widened then narrowed in a frown and she shook her head, looking everywhere but at him. It was a habit he was quickly losing patience with.
He draped his arm across the back of her seat and leaned forward, deliberately crowding her, knowing the only way she could get away was out the door. “Well?”
She finally turned toward him, her face only inches from his. Her tongue darted out and licked her lips. “I’m just…you make me nervous.”
“Good. That makes two of us.” Nathan saw her eyes widen in surprise but wasn’t sure if it was because of his admission or because she realized he was about to kiss her just seconds before he claimed her lips. She tensed under his touch then slowly relaxed, opening her mouth under his gentle insistence. Her tongue darted out and hesitantly met his, slowly at first then more daring as her hand came up and rested on his chest.
Nathan cupped her face in his hands and deepened the kiss, breaking away to drag his mouth along her jaw and down her throat, tasting the sweetness of her skin on his tongue, hearing her ragged breathing and knowing it echoed his own. He pulled his mouth back to hers, wanting to go lower but not daring to, knowing he wouldn’t want to stop, already didn’t want to stop.
His hand drifted to the middle of her back and pulled her even closer, wanting to feel every inch of her body against his. He shifted without breaking the kiss and dragged his free hand across her knee, feeling the silk of her nylons as he caressed her leg, traveling higher until his fingers edged under the hem of her dress, higher until the silk gave way to lace, which gave way to hot flesh under his hand. His mind grappled with the realization his touch already knew and he froze, afraid he would lose control in more ways than just the physical.
“Oh, God.” The ragged moan escaped him on a hungry sigh as he dragged his hand from her leg, silently cursing the small confines of the sports car as he tried to get closer without hurting either of them. He felt an awkward weight on his chest, wondered if he was going to keel over right there before he realized Catherine was pushing at him with her hand. He pulled away and looked down at her, saw the passion and confusion in her eyes and knew it mirrored his own expression.
A charged silence surrounded them, pushing in and around, pulsating. Nathan reached out and traced her jawline with one trembling finger, wanting to say something but afraid of breaking the spell, afraid of saying the wrong thing. Catherine finally straightened in the seat, obviously uncomfortable. She took a deep breath and let it out on a shaky sigh.
“I knew you were dangerous.” Her voice was husky, still laced with the passion he felt in her mere seconds ago. The words were so unexpected, so honest, that he laughed. She stared at him then smiled in turn, and Nathan was surprised at the sudden feeling of connection between them. He could tell she felt it, too, by the slight widening of her eyes and the look of confusion that was there and gone in the space of a heartbeat.
“I’m worse when I don’t eat. What do you say we go stuff ourselves on some delicious food?” He offered her a wink and opened his car door then sprinted around to open hers. He was glad she finally felt comfortable enough to keep her hand on his arm as he led the way down the sidewalk to the restaurant.
Warm air and warmer spices wrapped around them in a sensory hug as Nathan opened the door. A middle-aged maître d’ welcomed them with a hearty greeting, grabbed two menus from behind his podium and led them to a corner table slightly set apart from the crowd. He held Catherine’s chair for her as she sat, told them that their waitress would be with them shortly, then left the two with wishes for a happy evening. Catherine focused her attention on the leather-bound menu in her hand, too aware of Nathan’s gaze and the emotions he had unleashed inside her.
“Everything looks wonderful.”
“I hope so. I’ve never been here, but a friend recommended it. He guaranteed great food and a low-key atmosphere.”
Catherine looked up at the sarcasm in Nathan’s voice but didn’t have a chance to question it until after he placed their wine order. She blushed at the grin he flashed her when he caught her staring. A little jolt went through her when he reached across the table and took her hand in his.
“Still nervous?”
Catherine shrugged, ignoring the butterflies that took flight in her stomach at the sound of his voice, at the touch of his thumb as it caressed her hand. “Maybe. A little. Yes.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.” Catherine looked away, unable to meet his gaze as he studied her. She searched for a way to change the subject and latched on to his earlier comment. “What did you mean by low-key atmosphere?”
“People who come here are supposed to be more interested in the food than in the patrons.”
“I don’t understand.”
Nathan sighed and leaned closer like he was ready to tell some deep, dark secret. Catherine discovered she was holding her breath, waiting to see what the gleam in his eye meant.
“It means that on the off-chance somebody sees me and actually knows who the hell I am, they’ll have enough common courtesy to leave us alone while we’re eating.”
“People really do that?”
“Do what? Recognize me or come up to me?” The dry sarcasm in his voice hit Catherine and she bit her lip as embarrassment washed over her. She floundered for a way to apologize gracefully before she realized he was joking. He released her hand and took a sip of the water, then winked at her.
“Baltimore’s not a huge hockey town but there are some die-hard fans who would follow the players around no matter where they went. It’ll get worse the closer we get to the finals. All the nuts come out of the woodwork then, even if they don’t know a puck from a slab of coal.”
Catherine nodded, pretending she understood when she didn’t. She took a sip of her own water then looked up at a sudden movement behind Nathan. A young girl in her early twenties stared at them, her blue eyes narrowed. Catherine leaned forward. “I don’t think you’re going to be low-key tonight. Some girl is coming over here.”
“What?” Nathan looked then cursed under his breath.
Catherine sat up straighter, uncomfortable at the sudden tension that radiated from Nathan. There was no time to ask what was wrong as the girl stopped at their table and faced Nathan with one fist planted solidly on her arched hip.
“Well if it isn’t Nathan Conners. Imagine seeing you here.”
Nathan seemed to be fighting the urge to squirm and bolt. He pursed his lips, muttering a single word between clenched teeth.
“Amber.”
A
mber.
The name swirled through Catherine’s mind. A sister. A girlfriend. An ex-girlfriend. A wife. The last thought slammed into Catherine and she realized how little she really knew about Nathan. Surely he wasn’t married; he couldn’t be. Could he?
She mentally shook her head. Of course not. Brian would have told her. If he knew. But what if he didn’t know?
Catherine blinked, vaguely aware of hearing her name being called, vaguely aware of feeling two sets of eyes staring at her. She blinked again, pushing all thoughts to the back of her mind and forcing her attention to the man in front of her.
Nathan’s attention was focused on her, his concern clear in the depths of his eyes. His hand closed around hers and she felt the heat of his touch warming her. She offered him a weak smile.
“Sorry. I didn’t hear what you were saying.”
Nathan gave her a quizzical look that said he obviously didn’t believe her then slowly released her hand and sat back a little in his chair. She sensed the tension in him as he rolled his shoulders and pointedly ignored the girl. Catherine was aware of their visitor staring, first at her, then at Nathan. The girl faced her straight on, her clear blue eyes narrowed slightly as she openly studied Catherine, then thrust her hand out in introduction.
“Nathan obviously won’t introduce us, so I may as well. I’m Amber. Amber Johnson. Or AJ. And you are?”
Catherine stared up at her, caught off guard by the girl’s forthright manner. She offered her own hand in return. “Cath —”
“Hey, AJ, why don’t you go bug someone else?” Nathan’s flat voice cut her off and she stared at him, wondering why his attitude seemed to have hardened. Nathan merely shrugged.
“AJ likes to think of herself as a reporter, only the sleaze rag she works for will never be called a paper. Which makes her nothing more than a gossip hound.”
The girl shrugged nonchalantly and brushed a loose strand of black hair from her eyes. “Hey, it pays the bills.”
Catherine watched Amber’s movements closely, saw a flash of something that may have been hurt or anger in her eyes and realized that the show of carelessness was merely an act. Her heart softened toward the young woman as memories of trying to fit in and failing came back to her. She again offered her hand, not surprised to find that Amber’s was cold and trembling.
“I’m Catherine Wilson. Nice to meet you.”
“Same here.” The two women pointedly ignored Nathan’s groan. Amber released her hand, obviously choosing to pretend Nathan wasn’t sitting there. “Nathan’s just upset because we ran a piece that said this year might be his last on the ice.”
Catherine sat up a little straighter and watched for Nathan’s reaction. He slowly fingered the handle of a knife, rolling it over and over on the linen tablecloth. Her breath caught in her throat when he met her gaze. He was making a point of ignoring them, but Amber’s comment clearly upset him.
“I think that may have been a bit premature, don’t you?” Her voice was politely cool and devoid of any personal opinion.
“Oh, I didn’t say I agreed with it. I didn’t even write it. But ever since then, I’ve been blackballed.” Amber pointedly stared at Nathan. “Now I can’t get anyone on the team to even look at me, let alone talk to me.”
“You mean you can’t get Alec to talk to you.”
“No, I can’t get
anyone
to talk to me.”
“What are you even doing here, anyway?” Nathan finally asked, fixing Amber with a deadly stare.
“I heard Alec sometimes came here. I thought if I caught him off guard he’d give me something besides a headache.”
“Alec. It figures.” Nathan shook his head, a ghost of a smile playing around the edges of his mouth. “Well, AJ, you can leave now. I can guarantee that Alec will not be here tonight.”
“I kinda figured that one out already.” Amber made a face at Nathan that had Catherine biting back a grin. The young woman turned to her and smiled brightly. “It was nice meeting you, Catherine Wilson.”
“She seemed nice enough,” Catherine said when they were alone again. Nathan arched one disbelieving brow at her.
“You’ll probably disagree later this week when you see something about you in that sleaze rag she writes for.” Nathan took a sip of his drink and shook his head. “I’m going to kill Alec for this one.”
“Alec who? And why?” Catherine asked. Nathan’s laughter made her stop short and she realized suddenly that he had been talking about one of his teammates. “Sorry. Matty is the one who’s up on all the players, not me. I’m lucky if I can keep track of the puck during the game.”
“Oh, so you have actually watched a game. And here I thought you had to be dragged every time.” Nathan took another sip and waved off her attempt at another apology. “In answer to your earlier question, Alec is Alec Kolchak. Our goalie. Soon-to-be dead goalie. He’s the one who recommended this place to me.”
“So you think he did that deliberately?”
“Oh, absolutely. There’s no doubt in my mind that he knew AJ would be here. Guess it was my turn to be the sacrificial lamb.”
“I don’t understand.”
Nathan paused long enough to place their orders with the waiter then turned back to Catherine. “It’s a game Alec likes to play. Whenever AJ pushes him too far, he throws one of us at her as interference, hoping she’ll latch on to something and lose her interest in him. So far it hasn’t worked.”
“Oh.” Catherine watched him through her lowered eyes and wondered what he wasn’t telling her. His attention was focused again on the silverware, and she could sense his discomfort. There was still so much about him that she didn’t know, and she sensed that parts of him went deeper than anyone would expect. That she wanted to discover those deeper parts frightened her.
“I wanted to thank you, too.”
“For what?” Catherine looked up, a shiver creeping over her skin at the intensity of his gaze.
“For saying what you did about this year being my last.” Nathan twirled the fork between his hands. “I know you think I shouldn’t be playing.”
“Oh. I…uh…”
“Catherine, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” He took a deep breath and offered her a small smile. “There are times I wonder myself if I should still be playing.”
“Nathan.” Catherine stopped, knowing that he was opening a piece of himself up for her and not sure how to respond. She reached across the table and placed her hand on top of his. “Brian wouldn’t have released you if you weren’t ready.”
He squeezed her hand then lifted it to his mouth, quickly kissing the tips of her fingers as he smiled at her. “Time will tell, I suppose.” He let go of her hand as the waiter brought their food and placed it on the table. Catherine put her hand back in her lap and wondered if she had taken the easy way out by keeping her opinions to herself.
“Is there someplace you’d like to go?” Nathan’s voice was a whisper in the quiet of the car. Catherine smiled and shook her head, surprised at how willing she was to let him take the lead. This was new for her, letting someone else make the decisions.
“No place special. Wherever you feel like going, I guess.” Her face grew warm at the implication of her suggestion; a shiver of excitement tingled her nerve endings at the heated look Nathan gave her. He shifted in the driver’s seat until he was only inches away from her. She leaned forward, pulled to him by some invisible force, and sighed when his lips rested ever so briefly against hers before disappearing. She swallowed her groan of disappointment, glad that the darkness of the car’s interior hid the blush that flamed across her cheeks.
“Hmm.” She heard Nathan’s own sigh and wondered if he felt the same pull that seemed to grow stronger every time they were in each other’s company. “Do you like music? Maybe dancing? The guys were supposed to meet somewhere not far from here later tonight. They’re probably there by now. Would you mind going?”
“No, that sounds like it would be fun,” Catherine said. Going to a public place would probably be the safest thing for her right now. At least there she wouldn’t be able to give in to the growing temptation of throwing herself at Nathan.
He maneuvered the sports car through the streets of the city, her hand clasped lightly in his. Soft music surrounded them, lulling Catherine into a dangerous mood of comfort and desire. She watched Nathan from the corner of her eye, enjoying the chance to study him, wondering why she had tried to fight the attraction between them in the first place.
He was more than just attractive. He had a sort of boyish charm, a carefree attitude on the surface that hid the deeper parts he was slowly letting her see. The fact that he guarded them so carefully touched her, made her think of him as vulnerable though there was nothing defenseless about him. And he fit in almost anywhere, adapting to whatever was around him.
Tonight he wore an expensive suit that was expertly tailored to fit his broad shoulders, trim waist and muscular legs. On anyone else the look would have been too stiff, too forced, but not on Nathan. With hair that hung over the back of his collar, a nose that was just this side of perfect and the boyish chip in his tooth, he looked real. Approachable. The look fit him perfectly, but so did the careless manner in which he dressed in frayed jeans and a worn-out shirt.
He impressed her as down-to-earth, a picture enhanced by her memories of seeing him with Matty. She took a deep breath and looked out the window, hoping that she wasn’t making a mistake by becoming involved in a relationship with her son’s hero. If they
were
in a relationship. She wasn’t sure about their status with each other, if there even was a status. Which was her fault for always keeping
her
distance. From everything.
She let out another sigh and wondered when she had become so afraid to let other people in. When she had shut herself off from the world and become so afraid of living life.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“Hmm?” Catherine faced Nathan, surprised to see they were now parked in a paved lot at the intersection of two dimly lit streets. She wondered how long she had been lost in thought.
“There’s a small nightclub a few doors down from here,” Nathan said in response to her unasked question. “So, what were you thinking?”
“Oh.” Catherine shook her head, embarrassed by the turn of her own thoughts. “Just wondering when life seemed to get away from me. There are times when I feel like I’ve been caught in some kind of time warp and…and why am I telling you this?”
“Maybe because you’re beginning to like me?” Nathan’s smile lessened some of the insecurity she heard in the question, but she didn’t have a chance to answer him before he kissed her. She leaned into him and curled her hand behind his neck. A soft moan escaped her when he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. A small smile played at the corners of his mouth as he stared into her eyes. “I’ll take that to mean yes.”
Catherine answered with a smile of her own, surprised that a part of her wanted to be honest with him, wanted to open up to him. He kissed her again, quickly this time, then opened his door and got out before walking around to open hers. It seemed the most natural thing for the two of them to walk hand in hand down the street. A whisper of warning played in the back of Catherine’s mind, cautioning against letting down all her barriers too quickly. She pushed the traitorous thought away as Nathan opened the door to a dubious-looking establishment.
The inside wasn’t much better than the outside. The club was nothing more than the first floor of a renovated row home, the walls stripped down to dark wood and old brick. A scarred bar ran down the far wall, the stools sparsely filled with customers. The remainder of the patrons, not more than a handful, were in the back of the club on a makeshift dance floor, swaying to the heavy blues music being played by a band pushed back into the far corner.
Nathan squeezed Catherine’s hand and leaned down to whisper in her ear. She shook her head to let him know she didn’t hear him and leaned closer.
“Is this okay?” A shiver raced down her back as Nathan’s words came to her on a hot breath in her ear. She smiled and nodded, letting him lead the way to a small group at the end of the bar. The music stopped as they approached and Nathan made hasty introductions. She vaguely nodded at each, suddenly uncomfortable when she realized she was the only date present.
“Has Alec been here?” Nathan asked one of them.
“Yeah. He’s back in the courtyard.”
Nathan nodded then leaned over to Catherine. “I’ll be right back. I have some business to take care of with him.”
She watched him walk away, suppressing the urge to beg him not to leave her alone. The urge grew when she turned around and noticed five pairs of eyes glued to her. Their scrutiny was oppressive, and Catherine wondered why the band had chosen now of all times to take a break. One of the men suddenly stood and motioned to his vacant stool.
“Here, you sit now.” The deep voice was so thick with a Slavic accent that Catherine almost didn’t understand him.
“Um…” Her voice refused to work so she hesitantly took the offered stool, conscious of the way her hemline drifted up as she sat. She pulled at the material, trying to cover more of her leg, and noticed several of the players watching her. She folded her hands in her lap and offered them a weak smile.
The scrutiny lasted for several more seconds, then quickly disappeared as the players circled around her, eager to make conversation, all talking at once. She looked from face to face, only catching a word here or there, not knowing what to make of it. Suddenly it was too much for her and she laughed, a clear, infectious laugh that surprised her.
“I think she finds us amusing.”
“Not us, Ian. You. I told you women found you funny.”
Catherine covered her mouth with her hand then turned and saw Nathan standing a few feet from her, a bright smile on his face as he watched her. Catherine’s laughter caught in her throat when she saw the naked desire burning in Nathan’s eyes.
The music started again, drowning out everyone around her as Nathan closed the distance between them. He reached out and curled his hand around hers, then gently pulled her from the stool, holding her closer than necessary.