Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) (10 page)

Nathan fought the guilt that swept over him when she jumped in surprise at his voice and told himself that she wasn’t accustomed to waking up next to someone. Possessiveness stole through him as Catherine rolled over, the sheet and blanket held firmly in place under her chin. She studied him for a second longer than necessary before offering him a weak smile.

“Oh. Um, good morning.” She pulled back a bit when he tried to kiss her. He raised his brows in question, studying her.

“You don’t sound too sure about that.”

“No. I…” She shook her head and pushed herself to a sitting position, still clinging to the sheet. “I’m sorry. I just…I didn’t expect you to still be here.”

“I see,” he said, not seeing at all. “Mind if I ask why?”

Catherine studied him for a full minute then lowered her head. He sighed and sat up, not bothering to cover himself with the sheet as he tried to peek through the curtain of her hair. A blush stained her cheeks; he turned so he was facing her, then curled one hand around her neck and pulled her to him until their lips met. The kiss he gave her was gentle and soft but he still felt the beginnings of desire stir inside him.

“Did you want me to leave?” He whispered the question against her mouth then held his breath until she shook her head. She finally met his gaze, her anxiety clear in her dark eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m just…” She waved her hand around them and let it fall back into her lap. “I’m not used to this.”

Nathan almost asked her if it was something she wanted to grow used to, then choked back the words. Instead he leaned forward and claimed her lips in another kiss, sighing when she melted against him. He tugged gently on the sheet then moaned when she let the cool material drop away from her heated flesh.

The kiss exploded between them with the same intensity of the night before. Nathan’s hands drifted across Catherine’s back, caressing before moving to the front where his thumb brushed against one tightened nipple. He wondered if their lovemaking would be the same this morning when a harsh noise screeched next him. He jumped back, one hand over his ear as he glanced at Catherine in bewilderment.

She scrambled to reach her nightstand, her hand fumbling across the cluttered surface until it slammed on a small brown object. The buzzing mercifully ended, followed by an unnatural quiet that echoed around the room. Nathan let out his breath and gave a questioning look at Catherine.

“Sorry. I can be a heavy sleeper sometimes.”

Nathan watched the faint blush spreading across her cheeks. He placed his arm around her shoulder, pulling until she rested against him, her skin warm where it touched his. She sighed as his lips brushed her temple and curled closer, snuggling. Nathan held her, enjoying the feel of her body next to his and the comfortable silence that cloaked them. He pressed another kiss to her face then looked up, groaning when he saw the bright red numbers on the clock. Nine thirty-five.

“What’s wrong?”

“I didn’t realize how late it was. I should probably get ready to leave,” Nathan muttered, knowing he should get out of bed. Instead he sunk deeper into the soft mattress.

“I thought you said you had to leave.”

“I do.”

“Oh.”

Nathan ran his hand up and down her arm, felt her soft curves mold against him and tried to calculate how much longer he could put off leaving. He had practice in an hour and a half. The rink was less than thirty minutes away. Which left him just under an hour. Plenty of time, he thought.

He brushed a kiss against Catherine’s soft lips, then a second and a third, ready to continue where they left off the night before when another thought ran through his mind and doused the stirrings of desire. He tensed and pulled away. “Do we have…I mean, what about Matty? Won’t he be home soon?”

Her smile melted his tension and hesitation. She reached up and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer as she shook her head. “Matty’s staying at Brian’s all day.”

“All day, hmm?” Nathan smiled, considered telling her about his conversation with Dr. Porter the night before, then forgot all about it as Catherine’s mouth claimed his.

Nathan’s heart rate soared as their passion escalated. His hands roamed over her body, enjoying the way she responded so openly to his smallest touch. Enjoying the way their bodies seemed to know each other so well. Enjoying the way each caress, each stroke, each murmured word fed their desire. He reached beside the bed, searching for another condom. His hand closed over the foil packet just as the phone rang.

Nathan groaned, heard Catherine’s own sigh of frustration and decided to ignore the noise. On the third ring Catherine finally moaned and pulled away from him. She offered him a small smile of apology as she reached for the phone.

“It could be the office. Or a patient,” she explained, yanking the phone from the receiver. Nathan sat up next to her and lowered his mouth to her shoulder blade, hoping it was a wrong number. “Hello? Oh, Brian, hi.”

Nathan bit back his groan and leaned on one elbow, knowing that their time together had come to an end. He watched as her hair swung against her back, heard her voice as background noise and mentally calculated how many days it would be until they could be together again. He quickly changed the days to hours, surprised at how much he wanted this one woman.

“What? What happened?” Her sharp voice jolted Nathan from his fantasies and he straightened, suddenly aware of the tenseness that throbbed around Catherine. He glanced at her face, saw her skin pale and her hand tremble. Her mouth moved but no words came out, just a breathy rasp. Nathan’s stomach clenched with foreboding; something bad had happened.

He didn’t even think about his next move, didn’t consider the consequences as he reacted from instinct and took the phone from Catherine’s shaking hand. He brought it to his ear as he pulled Catherine to him. Her skin had turned to ice. “Hello?”

“Who is this?” Dr. Porter’s voice was flat and Nathan cringed at his tone. He took a deep breath and let it out.

“It’s Nathan. What’s wrong?”

“Oh, Nathan.” A sigh echoed in the line between them, and Nathan wondered if that was a good sign or bad. “It’s Matty. There was a small accident.”

Nathan closed his eyes. “What happened? Is he okay?”

“He will be. He broke his arm skating.”

“What?” Nathan felt Catherine tense against him and realized he had failed to keep the surprise from his voice. He cleared his throat and tried again. “Um, how?”

Another sigh came over the line and Nathan sensed the doctor’s discomfort. The memory of Catherine’s reaction the first time she had seen Matty on the ice came back in vivid clarity and Nathan inwardly cringed. He didn’t want to be in the other man’s shoes when Catherine found out.

“It was really all my fault, but that can wait. Right now I’m worried about Catherine. How is she? My guess is panicked.”

Nathan chanced a quick glance at the woman beside him, noticed her pale face, trembling lips and icy skin. He nodded, then answered with a quick, “Yes.”

“They’re getting ready to set his arm now, but I know Catherine won’t be happy unless she’s here. Is there…Nathan, she shouldn’t drive herself, but she will. Would you be able —”

“Yeah, no problem. We’ll leave now.” Nathan hung up the phone. Catherine turned to face him, her eyes round with worry, and he gave her a quick hug. “Matty’s fine. He broke his arm.”

“He what? But how? What happened? Is he okay? What did they say? Oh, God, what if it’s something else? What if the…” Her voice trailed off. Nathan watched as she tried to hide her fear. He pulled her to him, held her close and whispered in her ear.

“Catherine, he’s fine. It’s just a broken arm, that’s all. Lots of kids get them.”

“No, you don’t understand.” She pushed away from him, ran a shaking hand through her hair and stared up at him with wet eyes. “That’s what happened when…Matty broke his leg, and that’s when…how…they found the cancer.”

Nathan’s stomach dipped and tilted at the sight of her anxiety, and he suddenly understood what it must have been like for her. He sighed, ran his hand through his own hair and debated the wisdom of telling her exactly how Matty broke his arm. The idea left faster than it appeared. He had the impression that she wouldn’t welcome the news, and he didn’t want to be the one on the receiving end of her anger when she found out. But he didn’t want her to worry needlessly the entire way to the hospital, either. He decided on a compromise.

“Catherine, it was an accident, not cancer. I’m not sure exactly what happened, but Dr. Porter himself said it was nothing to worry about. Now he wouldn’t say that if it wasn’t true, would he?” Nathan wasn’t sure exactly how far her friend would go to protect her, and he hoped he hadn’t just made up the biggest damn lie ever just to ease her worry.

“No. No, he wouldn’t.” Catherine took a deep breath, shook her head and tried to smile.

“Good. Now get dressed, and I’ll drive you to the hospital.” Nathan leaned over and grabbed his clothes from the pile on the floor, shaking the wrinkles from them when Catherine rested a still-trembling hand on his arm. He turned and looked at her, surprised at the emotion in her eyes.

“I thought…but you have practice.”

Nathan shrugged and offered her a small smile. “It won’t hurt if I miss one.”
Much,
he added to himself. He saw the gratitude flash in her eyes, in the warmth of her smile before she pulled the sheet around her and climbed out of bed. Nathan followed her movements until she disappeared into the bathroom.

An insignificant fine and verbal chewing-out from Sonny LeBlanc was nothing compared to helping Catherine and Matty.

C
atherine’s tennis shoes squeaked against the polished floor of the corridor leading to the emergency room. Her fists balled against her sides, her nails dug into the skin; she was thankful for the pain, thankful for its diversion.

The lead ball in her stomach had grown during the ride to the hospital. Nathan seemed to understand how she felt and had simply reached over and held her hand, the warmth of his touch temporarily easing her anxiety. She was aware of him now, walking beside her, silently offering his support.

She wanted to accept that support, wanted to lean on him for strength, but part of her fought against it. Already she was questioning the wisdom of last night, wondering how things could change so quickly with the coming of a new day. Guilt grew inside her, consuming her, and she wondered how she could have possibly thought of anything besides Matty.

Matty, who was in the E.R. with a broken arm that he wouldn’t have if she had been with him instead of with Nathan.

Catherine took a deep breath, held it to the count of three and released it slowly, hoping to calm her nerves. They reached the door leading to the emergency room. Catherine reached out to grab the handle but Nathan beat her to it. She looked up at him, so solid, so attractive. And wearing last night’s clothes.

Her eyes drifted to the sleeves of the suit jacket, searching for the ruined cuffs of his shirt. A blush heated her face as she recalled exactly how the cuffs had been ruined. She suddenly wanted — needed — for him to stay behind, not to go any farther with her for fear of what everyone would think. Her son was in the hospital because she had been too busy enjoying herself instead of protecting him.

Catherine swallowed nervously and opened her mouth to ask Nathan to wait, but it was too late. Nathan was pulling open the door, holding it for her, looking at her expectantly.

She brushed by him, telling herself that the only thing that mattered was Matty as she briskly closed the distance to the triage station. One of the interns looked up from his report, gave her a quick smile and motioned down the hallway with his pen. “Hey, Doc. Matty’s back in room four. They’re almost done with the cast.”

“Thanks, Steve.” Catherine caught the widening of the intern’s eyes when he noticed Nathan behind her, and again she wanted to tell him to stay behind. Instead she merely walked down the hall, leaving it up to him to follow or not. His footsteps behind her told her he had chosen to follow.

She stopped in front of the door, took a deep breath and finally faced Nathan. “I think…I mean…it would probably be better if you waited out here.”

He studied her, seeing too much. Catherine lowered her head, no longer able to look at him. She squirmed, debating whether or not to say anything else, then turned toward the door. Nathan’s hand closed over hers before she could open it.

“Catherine, you didn’t do anything wrong. This isn’t your fault. You shouldn’t feel guilty.”

“Guilty? He’s my responsibility and I…” Her voice cracked and she turned, looked at the floor, at his hand, at the wall behind Nathan. Everywhere but at him. “I need to see Matty.” She shrugged off his hold and pulled the door open.

“I’ll be here if you need me.”

His words followed her into the room, creating a hollow feeling deep inside her instead of comforting her the way she knew he intended. She pushed everything to the back of her mind when her eyes rested on Matty.

He was sitting in the middle of the cot, a blanket covering him to the waist, his left arm held shoulder-high as a nurse finished wrapping it. A fresh cast encased the lower half of it, running from his hand to just below his elbow. Her heart sank when she looked closer and saw the cast he had chosen.

Plain white casts were a thing of the past. Patients had their choice of colors and styles, from solid neon to rainbow splashes, from favorite comic characters to favored sports teams. Matty’s arm had been turned into an advertisement for the
Baltimore Banners.
She bit her lip, noticed the solid white strips in the exact center of the cast and knew that it had been wrapped in pieces in order for there to even be a plain section.

For autographs, no doubt.

An irrational flare of anger spouted inside Catherine and she pushed it away. She took a deep breath and stepped closer to the bed, trying to smile when she saw Matty’s grin.

“Hey, Mom. Check out the cast. Isn’t it cool? Shelley did it up for me special, so I can get everyone to sign it.” Matty held his arm out for her inspection. She nodded over it, flashed a thankful smile at the nurse, then turned to Brian.

“What happened?”

“Everything is fine. It was just a little accident.”

“‘Little accidents’ don’t cause broken arms, Brian. Is everything else okay? Where are the X-rays? I want to see them.”

“Catherine, everything is fine. The X-rays are fine.”

“I want to see them. Now.”

Brian stared at her then grabbed a large envelope from the corner table and handed it to her. She pulled out the films, held them against the light board on the wall beside her and studied them, aware of Shelley leaving the room.

“Just a hairline fracture of the radius. Nothing else,” Catherine muttered to herself as relief washed over her.

“Which is what I said.”

She pulled the films off the board and stuffed them back in the envelope. “Yes, you did. So what happened then?”

“How did you get here?”

She almost answered the question before realizing it had been a deliberate ploy to change the subject. She pursed her lips together and studied Brian, noticed how uncomfortable he was and how he refused to meet her eyes. Catherine glanced at Matty and noticed that he had suddenly become preoccupied with the blanket covering him from the waist down. She had the distinct impression that both of them were hiding something.

“Does somebody want to tell me what happened?”

“It wasn’t his fault, Mom. Really it wasn’t.” The words rushed from Matty’s mouth, accompanied by his patented look of puppy-dog innocence. Catherine pursed her lips again and looked from one to the other, waiting. Silence greeted her.

“What happened?”

“Matty, do you want to go wait —”

“I want to know what happened, and I want to know now.” Catherine’s clipped words filled the room with even more tension as she fought to control her irrational fear. Matty fidgeted, failing to hide his eagerness to be anywhere but there.

“We went ice skating this morning and —”

“You what?” Brian flinched at her raised voice and lowered his eyes to the floor. She took a deep breath, trying to keep her anger from her voice and failing. “You took him ice skating? Without my permission? After knowing how much I’m against it?”

Catherine blew another deep breath between her clenched teeth, ran a hand through her hair and paced in circles. “Why, Brian? You
know
how I feel!” She pointed to Matty’s arm. “
This!
This is why I don’t want him skating! He’s not ready for it!”

“Mom, it was an accident.”

“It was my fault, Catherine.”

She stopped her pacing, looked from Matty’s red face and wet eyes to Brian’s stubborn stance and determined frown. “I don’t care. That’s it. No more skating.”

“Catherine!” Brian’s raised voice stopped her. Her head whipped around in his direction and she stared at him, saw the anger in his eyes and opened her mouth for a retort. Her mouth snapped shut with an audible click at his next words. “It was my fault, Catherine. I tripped and fell, and knocked him over, and that’s when he broke his arm.”

The silence surrounding them after Brian’s confession was louder than their voices had been. Catherine bit her lip, feeling like she had just been betrayed by her best friend.

She
had
been betrayed by her best friend.

“You broke my son’s arm.” Catherine squeezed her eyes closed and fought to replace the hurt with anger. “That’s just great. Wonderful. Fine. Matty, let’s go.”

“No!”

Catherine whirled at Matty’s outburst, staring at him in shock. He never talked back to her, never. “Excuse me?”

“It was an accident, Mom. I’m okay. See?” He slid off the cot, his broken arm cradled next to his chest.

“Hey there, kiddo. Nice cast.” Nathan’s steady voice echoed around the room, creating an unnatural stillness in the aftermath of the outbursts. Catherine tensed, feeling his eyes boring into her back. She ignored the impulse to turn and order him from the room, knowing it would only make things worse, knowing she had no right to take this out on him.

“Nathan!” Matty’s eyes widened as he looked past Catherine, a bright smile on his face. She clenched her teeth and curled her fists in anger and frustration when Matty walked right by her without even looking. His gait was steady and she realized that anyone who didn’t know about the prosthesis would be unable to tell he used one from the way he walked.

“Nathan, this isn’t…” Her words froze in her throat, choking her when she saw the cool look he tossed her way. His eyes remained steady on hers, assessing, before he looked away and gave Matty his full attention.

“Well, check this out. I never knew we had our own line of casts. That’s pretty cool.”

“Yeah, and see how Shelley wrapped it? So I can have people sign it in the middle. You want to sign it?”

Nathan’s answering laughter filled the room, a direct contradiction to the icy tension hovering in all four corners of the small cubicle. Catherine shifted uncomfortably, chanced a glance at Brian to see his reaction and noticed that he was engrossed in studying the crease of his shirtsleeve.

“Of course I’ll sign it. Just tell me you didn’t do that on purpose so you could get autographs.” Matty laughed and smiled when Nathan leaned over to ruffle his hair. A flash of jealousy pierced Catherine at her son’s reaction to the gesture, knowing that Matty always pulled away when she did the same thing.

“No. It was an accident. Uncle Bri…I mean…” Matty glanced at Catherine and Brian then lowered his voice, but not low enough that he couldn’t be heard. “Uncle Bri doesn’t know how to skate and he fell on me.”

“Yeah, I heard.” Nathan looked up and stared hard at Catherine, his smile gone. She squirmed under his direct gaze, knew he was telling her that her shouting could be heard outside. Her face heated and she looked away, hurt, angry and now embarrassed. “So, you got a pen I can sign that thing with?”

“Oh. No. Don’t you have one?”

“Sorry, kiddo, fresh out of pens. You want to go see if they have something on that big desk I saw out there?”

“Nathan, I don’t think —”

“No, it’s okay.” Nathan fixed her with an unreadable expression, one that filled her with even more anxiety because she couldn’t understand it. She fidgeted then shook her head.

“Nathan —”

“We’ll be fine, won’t we, Matty?” Nathan ruffled her son’s hair again then led him out of the room without a backward glance. Catherine watched their disappearance, surprised at the sudden emptiness she felt. She blinked against the sting of tears in the back of her eyes and wrapped her arms around herself, wondering if she would ever feel warm again.

“Well. That was fun.” Brian muttered the words under his breath, loud enough so she could hear them. He busied himself with cleaning up a side cart, refusing to look at her.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, Catherine, c’mon. Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

“Overreacting? Brian, you took Matty skating without my permission, knowing perfectly well how I feel about it.
You
broke
my
son’s arm!” Catherine paced in circles, motioning wildly with her hands as she tried to calm her breathing. “I feel like my best friend betrayed me!”

Catherine’s voice cracked as a tear spilled from her eye, and she wiped at it, angry, furious, wanting suddenly to do no more than take that anger out on something. Anything. She spun around, surprised at the strength of her emotions, not wanting Brian to see her, afraid of how out of control she looked.

“You want to be pissed at me, fine. You’ve got every right. It was a stupid mistake, I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry. Sorrier than you know. Hell, I’m pissed at myself. But everything else…”

Catherine fingered the smooth edge of the metal table in front of her, felt Brian’s eyes on her but refused to turn around, refused to ask him what he meant. The silence stretched for minutes before he let out a deep breath and spoke.

“I’m the one who’s guilty here, Catherine. Not you. Don’t use this as an excuse to shut down again.”

“Excuse me?” Catherine whirled on him, her eyes wide, her face heated with anger and disbelief. She couldn’t have heard him correctly. “Tell me I didn’t just hear that.”

“Are you afraid of the truth, Catherine?”

“What are you talking about?”

“The guilt is written all over your face. Even Nathan could see it. Don’t let this spoil something that could be good for you, Catherine. Don’t use this as an excuse to hide away again.” Brian’s voice was soft and full of sympathy, bringing tears to her eyes when she realized he spoke the truth. She did hide, because it was easier that way. But that didn’t mean she wanted to admit the truth, even to herself.

“I don’t hide, Brian. I have responsibilities, and they come first. They have to. Once they’re taken care of, then maybe I can enjoy life.” Catherine’s voice broke and she frantically blinked back the tears that were threatening. She felt moisture on her face and knew she had failed. Brian took a step toward her, sympathy and regret etched clearly on his face.

“Catherine…”

“No.” She backed up a step, shaking her head as he reached for her. “No. I’ll be fine. I just need to get Matty home.”

“Catherine —”

She shook her head again, pivoted on her heel and pulled open the door, ignoring the curious looks from the meandering staff as she concentrated on walking a steady line to the desk. Steve looked up at her and she tried to offer him a weak smile.

“Where’s Matty?”

“Matty? He, um, he left.”