Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) (4 page)

“Sure. Go ahead and laugh. It’s a real hoot. Big hockey player brought to his knees by a tiny needle. Hysterical.” His deep voice was light and laced with irony, making Catherine laugh even more.

“I’m sorry.” Another deep breath. “I just didn’t think…I mean…” One more breath. “I’m sorry.”

“No problem. Anything to brighten your day.” Nathan smiled then rose from the chair, his large frame unfolding with a feline grace in spite of the obvious discomfort in his knee. Her breath caught as she watched him stand, only inches from her.

“Don’t stop.” Nathan reached out and gently grabbed her chin with one hand, turning her face toward him. “You have a nice smile. You should do it more often.”

“Mr. Conners, I —”

“Nathan, please.”

“Nathan.” Catherine stepped back, needing to put distance between them. She heaved a sigh of relief when he released her from his gentle hold.

“And should I call you Catherine?” His crooked smile and tawny eyes were focused on her with a charm that was nearly irresistible. She took a nervous step back and silently cursed when the edge of the desk bit into the back of her thighs.

“Yes. I mean, no. No. I don’t believe in doctors and patients getting personal with one another.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing you’re not my doctor, isn’t it, Catherine?” His smile never faltered as he turned and walked to the door, stopping to look back at her with an unreadable expression on his face. “I was serious about that clinic for Matthew. And I think it would be good if he went to more games, too. I’ll send over some more tickets. Catherine.”

She stared after him, astounded at the onslaught of charm she had just been subjected to, wondering which was worse: that she had allowed the flirting banter, or that she had enjoyed it.

Don’t do it.

A voice of conscience piped up and screamed at her before she could get any idiotic notions in her head. She could not — would not — let Nathan Conners into her life. Or Matty’s. It would only invite disappointment for both of them. Matty would become attached, then be hurt when he left. And he
would
leave. It was unthinkable that any steady dependability would come from someone who wasn’t family.

Catherine sat behind the desk and absently shuffled the files in front of her. She couldn’t allow anyone else into their lives. She had to think of Matty’s feelings, nothing else. She grabbed the card Nathan had given her and threw it into the wastebasket beside her desk, hoping she could remove the other influences he had left behind just as easily.

“You don’t need to be so tense, Catherine.”

“I can’t help it.” She unclasped her hands and wiped them down the front of her jeans before facing Brian. “What if he gets hurt?”

Brian chuckled then swung his arm in a wide arc, encompassing the large room with machines of all shapes and sizes, with an attendant at each one. “Here? You’re sounding unreasonable. This is the safest place for him and you know it.”

“I
don’t
know,” she whispered. They were standing off to one side, watching as Matty practiced with his new prosthesis. Two weeks had passed since he first got it, and even his therapist was amazed at how well he was doing. Catherine kept her gaze on Matty, watching for the slightest indication that he might fall or that he was tiring. Then she would firmly suggest to everyone that the prosthesis could wait until later.

“He’s not going to give up, you know.”

Catherine pasted a smile on her face and waved to Matty, then faced Brian. He was watching her with a hooded expression, his eyes serious behind the wire-rimmed glasses. “I don’t want him hurt. He’s been through too much already.”

“So you’d take away his new freedom? I thought I knew you better than that.”

The accusation hung between them, made worse by Brian’s quiet voice. In all the years she had known him, he had always been reliable, always supporting her and Matty. It wasn’t like him to sound so critical.

“You need to let him go, Catherine.”

“He’s nine years old. I don’t
need
to do anything but protect him.” The words came out in a hiss and caught the attention of another parent standing several feet away. “I’m sorry. I just don’t want him hurt. Is that so terrible?”

“No, it’s not. As long as you don’t go overboard.”

“But what’s overboard? Are you saying it would be better if I just let him go, let him do what he wants?”

“That’s not what I’m saying, Catherine, and you know it. And you also know how far is too far for him. Don’t let the voice of reason get lost in your need to protect him.”

“Voice of reason.” Catherine forced a half laugh, her attention focused on Matty. He was back in the wheelchair, removing the prosthesis with the therapist’s help. “He told me the other day he wants to play hockey. Hockey, for crying out loud! Like I don’t know where that idea came from.”

Brian crossed his arms in front of him and shrugged, almost too nonchalantly. “Who knows? Maybe one day he will.”

“What? You didn’t just say that. I’m imagining things.” Catherine studied her friend, saw the barely noticeable blotch of red creeping up from his shirt collar. A muscle twitched in his jaw. “What is it, Brian? What aren’t you telling me?”

His mouth opened and closed silently. He pursed his lips together and shrugged again, still refusing to face her. She folded her own arms in front of her and stepped into his line of vision, ready to demand an answer.

“Hey, Mom! Did you see that?” Matty’s excited voice came from behind and she turned to face him, forcing a bright smile. She gave the therapist a passing glance then bent down so she could be on eye level with Matty.

“I sure did. You’re getting better each day.”

“He’s done remarkably well, Dr. Wilson. At the rate he’s progressing, it won’t be long before he’s sprinting with that new leg of his.” Catherine straightened and leveled a serious look at Matty’s therapist, Paul. She wanted to tell him, to scream at him, that there was no way she would allow her son to risk getting hurt by doing something as foolish as sprinting with a prosthesis. Or running. Or even walking fast. But there was no way she could say any of that, not now and certainly not here, so she just smiled tightly and said nothing.

Matty waved goodbye to Paul then looked from her to Brian and back again, a look of excitement on his face. Catherine felt the bottom of her stomach drop in anticipation.

“Did you tell her yet, Uncle Bri?”

“Um, not yet.”

Catherine looked from one to the other, at the excitement dancing in Matty’s eyes and the frown creasing Brian’s forehead. Her stomach did another funny little dip. “Tell me what?”

“Uncle Brian got me into this neat camp for kids like me. It’s got sports and all kinds of stuff, and there’s even going to be some pro guys there. Isn’t that cool, Mom?”

Catherine clenched her jaw against the sudden fear and fury that ripped through her and turned to Brian, ignoring Matty as he pulled on her hand. “What is he talking about?”

“I heard about this sports camp run by the players of some local teams and thought it would be good for Matty. I made arrangements to have him enrolled.”

“How dare you go behind my back and do something like this! And who told you about it?” She didn’t know why she was asking; she already knew the answer.

“Mom?” Matty pulled on her hand. “I can do it, right?”

“Matty, I…I don’t think so.” She tried to soften her voice, to lessen the blow to Matty, but disappointment still flashed in his eyes. He yanked his hand from hers and looked away, sending a sharp stab of pain through her. She faced Brian, her anger clear.

“Who told you about it, Brian? Who?”

“Nathan Conners.”

“He went to you? After I already told him no, he went to you!” She shook her head, wanting to say more, knowing she couldn’t. She stepped behind Matty’s wheelchair and grabbed the handles, squeezing until she thought they would bend. “I think you know what both of you can do.”

“He came to me because he thought you were being unreasonable. I happened to agree with him.”

“Mom, I can do it, can’t I? You’re going to let me do it, right?” Catherine’s throat constricted at the pain in Matty’s voice and she had to swallow before answering.

“Matty, sweetie. You’re not ready. I don’t want you hurt.”

“But, Mom —”

“Matty, I said no, not right now.”

“Catherine, don’t you think —”

She shrugged Brian’s hand from her shoulder. “I think you need to mind your own business. I think you need to tell your patients to mind their own business.”

“Catherine…”

“I have nothing more to say to you.” She leaned into the heavy chair and pushed. Brian’s betrayal bit into her, hurting her in a way she hadn’t expected.

“Mom, why can’t I?”

“Because I said. I don’t want to hear another word.”

Catherine squeezed her eyes against the tears, blinking back all but one that rolled down her cheek. She wiped her face on her sweater. The last thing she needed was for the waterworks to start, not here and especially not now.

Matty was doing enough crying for them both.

C
atherine rolled the tension from her shoulders, closed her eyes and let her head fall against the back of the sofa. The faint scent of candles surrounded her and she breathed in the mix of vanilla and rose, searching for some inner relaxation.

Three days had passed since she had told Matty in no uncertain terms that he would
not
be participating in any sports clinic. Three days since he had talked to her, not even a murmur of anger or argument. It had been a long three days.

Catherine sighed and opened her eyes, stared down at the nearly forgotten glass of Chardonnay in her hands before taking a sip, not caring that it was no longer chilled. She had finally caved in, unwilling to face the anger and hurt that stared back at her whenever she looked at Matty. She had called Brian that morning, told him to pick up Matty and take him to the camp.

An excited Matty had called a few hours ago, telling her that he and Brian were going to a hockey game. Before she could protest, Brian got on the phone and explained that the tickets were a gift and not to worry, Matty could spend the night.

Dead silence floated back from the phone before Catherine had a chance to question or argue.

So here she sat, alone and lonely, brooding over a glass of warm white wine. Wishing she had never laid eyes on Nathan Conners but unable to banish his image from her mind.

She sighed again then tossed back the last of the wine in her glass, wincing at the warm bitterness. It was just past eight o’clock and already she felt lost. She didn’t want to consider why, didn’t want to face the truth that any normalcy in her life had stopped with Matty’s illness. Now that he was on the quick road to recovery, doing normal things for kids his age, it was time for her to do the same. And she was afraid.

Catherine muttered a curse then pushed herself from the sofa and walked to the kitchen, blinking at the bright overhead light. She took several steps then stopped, looking around as if seeing the room for the first time.

Clean white surfaces, gleaming steel appliances, shiny green-and-white tile floor. A small pine table surrounded by four ladderback chairs sat in front of a bay window framed in cheery yellow gingham curtains, two place mats arranged at either end with green napkins neatly rolled and waiting in the center of each. The cheeriness of the room escaped her, and the only thing she noticed was its cleanliness. Neat, clean and orderly.

Efficient. And boring.

“I’m losing it.” Her voice echoed back to her, making her feel worse. She placed the empty glass on the counter then opened the refrigerator and pulled out a pint container of orange juice and drank from it. Matty would have been surprised, considering how often she admonished him for the same thing.

She rinsed the empty carton and tossed it into the recycling bin. More efficiency.

It was a Saturday night and she was home alone. Her nine-year-old son was out having a good time while she stood in her kitchen. Alone. Thinking about how efficient everything was.

Definitely boring.

She glanced at her watch again and saw that only a few minutes had gone by. There was no reason she should be home by herself. Never mind the fact that she had nothing to do and nobody to do it with. Matty and Brian were at the hockey game. She could meet up with them, apologize for being so touchy the last few days and see if they wanted to go do something. Maybe go to the Inner Harbor, walk around and get some ice cream.

The keys were in her hand and she was out the door before she realized they might not want her company. She shoved the thought to the back of her mind, leaving it behind as she pulled the minivan out of the driveway.

The soles of Catherine’s tennis shoes squeaked on the polished tile floor, the sound echoing strangely in the hollow silence. She stopped and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, sighing. Except for a few stray voices that floated up to her from the lower seats, the arena was deserted.

She looked around, swallowing an insane desire to cry. How could she have missed the entire game? She exhaled a long breath and began the dizzying descent to the arena floor, her gaze lowered to concentrate on the unusually spaced concrete steps.

If not for the delays with the light rail, she would have had time to at least find Matty and Brian and see part of the third period. Instead, she arrived at the arena and learned that the game had ended twenty minutes earlier, with the
Banners
winning 3 to 2. The victory did little to boost her spirits as she tried to convince the security guard to let her in so she could see if Matty and Brian were still there.

The fact that she had to finally say they were guests of Nathan Conners was a fresh wound to her pride. She waited while the guard made a phone call, then grimaced at his slick smile and flash of innuendo. It made her feel like a groupie. She briefly wondered how many players were accustomed to groupies, how many times security had called down to Nathan Conners.

Catherine refused to look too deeply into where
that
thought was leading, telling herself instead that it was just one more reason to keep Matty away from the hockey player.

She reached the bottom of the steps, rubbing her hands against the chill running down her arms as she looked around, hoping to see a familiar face near the players’ box. Row after row of empty chairs stared back at her.

“Catherine?” The voice came from behind, startling her even as the flesh on her arms prickled with heat. She turned and swallowed against the sudden lump in her throat as Nathan descended the last few steps. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Her mouth worked silently as she stared up at him. His dark hair was slicked back, still damp from the shower he had obviously just taken, the ends hanging below the collar of his polo shirt. The faint scent of fresh soap mingled with his aftershave and teased her nose as her mind tried to connect the circuits in charge of her conversational skills.

“Neither did I.” The words tumbled from her mouth, causing Nathan to smile wider as she mentally winced. “I mean, I didn’t plan on being here. I, uh, I thought Matty might be here.”

“No, I haven’t seen him.” Nathan stepped closer to her and she scooted backward. A flash of amusement lit his eyes and he motioned for her to sit. Catherine lowered herself into an aisle seat as he sat across from her. Her gaze ran down his long legs in a quick sweep, coming to rest at the spot where his bare ankles showed between the frayed hem of his faded jeans and the top of his Birkenstocks. “Should I have?”

“Pardon?” Catherine yanked her gaze away from his bare ankles and met his stare, embarrassment heating her face.

“I said, is there a reason I should have seen him?”

“Uh, I thought, that is, Brian took him to the sports clinic today and they called to say they had tickets for tonight. I just thought…” Catherine let her voice trail off, feeling the first twinge of worry scratch along her spine like nails on a blackboard. There was no reason to worry, she told herself. Matty was with Brian. They were fine.

“They probably got the tickets from the clinic. I wouldn’t worry too much. I wish I had known they were here, though.”

“You didn’t see them at the camp?” Catherine’s pulse pounded louder in her ear as anxiety crept in. They had to have been at the camp — Matty had called saying how much fun he’d had.

“No. I’m not usually there.”

“But I thought —” Catherine jerked in surprise at the vibration that thrummed near her hip then let out a loud sigh. Cursing the pager that kept startling her, she unclipped it from the waistband of her pants and squinted at the number flashing across the LED screen. A sigh of relief escaped her when she recognized Brian’s home number.

“Good news, I take it.”

Catherine flashed a wry smile at Nathan, suddenly feeling foolish. She reached into her purse and rummaged for the cell phone. “It’s Brian. Probably wondering where I am.”

“I see.” A flicker of something lit his eyes for a moment then disappeared. He stood and motioned behind him with a quick point of his thumb and grinned, drawing her attention to a small group of fans who were hanging back from them. “I’ll let you have some privacy for that call.”

Catherine stared after his broad back as he walked away, feeling like she had just missed something. She watched as two young girls sauntered toward Nathan, smiling and flirting with serious intent in their eyes. A knot of impatience swelled in Catherine’s stomach as she realized that the “girls” were in their early twenties. The laughing group suddenly made her feel old. She couldn’t remember ever being — or acting — that young.

“Knock it off,” she whispered, stabbing at the buttons of the cell phone. Brian’s voice greeted her on the third ring.

“I’m at the arena. I thought I’d meet you guys here but I guess not, huh?” Catherine said when he asked where she was.

“Sorry. We would have waited if we had known. But Matty’s fine. He’s sleeping now.” There was a long pause as Catherine tried to think of something to say to ease the tension that had hovered between them the last few days.

“Listen, Brian, about the other day. I acted like a jerk.”

“You sure did.”

Catherine felt her lips turn up in a small smile at the sound of humor in his voice. “Don’t rub it in.”

“Not now, anyway. I’ll save it for later. So tell me why you’re still there. Are you with Nathan?”

She glanced sideways at the smiling crowd, feeling like an interloper as they laughed at something Nathan said. She pushed a strand of hair behind her ear and looked away. “Hardly. In fact, I’m getting ready to go home now.”

Catherine began the climb up the steps, careful to keep her distance from the crowd while keeping one eye on her footing as she made plans to have Matty dropped off tomorrow. She was dropping the phone back in her purse when she heard her name being called. The urge to stop and turn was overwhelming, but the memory of the young girls kept her feet moving. She didn’t need to make herself feel any older by seeing them up close.

The light rail was her headache for the evening. Now, in addition to humiliating herself with her hasty retreat from Nathan, she had missed the train back home. The wait for the next one wouldn’t have been so bad, except for one thing.

Nathan Conners had beat the train to the stop and was staring up at her from the driver’s seat of a flashy BMW convertible, its top down in spite of the chilly February air. His high-wattage smile was turned on her full-force as he tried to convince her to let him drive her home. Catherine glanced at her watch, then down the tracks, hoping the train would be early.

“No, thank you,” she repeated through clenched teeth.

“C’mon, Doc. One ride. It’s the least I can do.”

Murmurs of encouragement grew from the crowd waiting at the stop with her. She gritted her teeth together, wondering what she should do. With a sigh, Catherine hitched the straps of her purse higher on her shoulder and grabbed for the door handle of the car, nearly yanking it off in frustration. Nathan was all smiles as he jammed the car in gear and sped away. Catherine braced her hand against the dash and reached for the seat belt, feeling only slightly safer when she had it securely fastened.

“So is it always playtime for you?” Catherine raised her voice to be heard above the cold wind racing past them as Nathan maneuvered the small car along the dark city streets. He flashed her his crooked smile and shrugged.

“You looked like you could use a laugh.”

“At my own expense, right?” Catherine winced at the sharpness of her words, wondering why she always seemed to be so bitter around him. Brian was right. Nathan really did seem like a nice guy. So why did she always act this way around him?

“What?” Nathan turned to look at her, surprised at the brightness of her eyes and the flush he could see in the passing street-lights. His foot hit the brake and he pulled the car to a stop on a deserted side street as Catherine braced herself with an outstretched hand. He threw the car into First gear and cut the engine, then turned in his seat and stared at her. “I wasn’t making fun of you, Catherine, I was trying to make you smile. I didn’t realize you took everything so personally. I’m sorry.”

He watched as a muscle worked in her jaw, noticed the way her chin came up a fraction of an inch and the way her lips pursed together, though in anger, hurt or stubbornness he couldn’t tell. Probably all three. “No, I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you. I’m not very good company right now. Maybe you should just take me back to the light rail stop.”

Nathan sighed and ran his hands through his hair. This was not working out as he had planned. Seeing Catherine at the arena had been an unexpected but definitely welcome surprise. He had wanted to ask her to go for a cup of coffee or a drink or something, but backed away when she had mentioned calling Dr. Porter. Then she left the arena so fast he wasn’t able to catch up to her. It had been pure luck seeing her at the light rail stop. Only now, instead of laughing or smiling, she was sitting next to him looking like she had lost her best friend. And suddenly he wanted her to smile, just for him.

He sighed again and reached for the key in the ignition, wondering what he should do. The engine turned over with a small purr as he faced her. “Where’s your car? I’ll drop you off there so you won’t have to take the light rail.”

“Um, the Timonium stop.”

Nathan nodded then made a U-turn in the middle of the street, tires squealing as he gave the car too much gas. He reached down and adjusted the stereo until a classic rock tune blared from the speakers. His foot pressed harder on the accelerator in response to the music. From the corner of his eye he saw Catherine’s white-knuckle grip on the edge of her seat, and he eased up on the gas.

He turned the stereo down, then shot her a cautious glance. “Instead of taking you home, we could go out somewhere, get something to drink and maybe have some fun. Unless you have something against having fun, that is.” Nathan had meant the last comment jokingly and was surprised when her expression turned even gloomier. She bit down on her lower lip then hesitantly looked over at him, her dark eyes wide and sad.