Finding Dr. Right (Contemporary Medical Romance) (13 page)

Warmth spread across her face and she mumbled in embarrassment, but at least she finally made her way to the sofa. She carefully sat, making sure there was ample space between them, then uttered a noise of surprise when she sank into the soft cushions. More heat rushed to her cheeks as she struggled to hide her small fumble with the overstuffed cushions, unsuccessfully if Nathan’s chuckle was any indication.

“Now what was your question?”

“My question?” Catherine looked at him in confusion, gave her head a little shake to clear it enough to remember. “Oh. I was just wondering how long you’ve been playing hockey.”

“Twenty-three years if you count them all, ten years if you just count the major league.”

“Twenty-three years?” Catherine stared at him in openmouthed shock. “But that would mean you started when you were…how old were you when you started?”

“Six. Don’t look so shocked. That’s not really young.”

Catherine shrugged, not willing to admit her ignorance about such things. She had never been one to go out for sports, choosing instead activities that exercised her mind. Geeky activities. She wondered why that suddenly bothered her. It had been the truth, after all. Not that she hated physical activities. It was just that she preferred to curl up with a good book, to kick off her shoes and watch a relaxing movie instead of getting her body drenched with sticky sweat.

The hair prickled on the back of her neck as Nathan watched her with an intensity that curled her toes. She cleared her throat and briefly met his gaze before looking away, suddenly uncomfortable. Suddenly? Catherine nearly laughed. It seemed she was always uncomfortable around Nathan.

“So did you have any other hockey questions for me?” His voice was too soft, too husky. She frowned, wishing she could think of something, then reluctantly shook her head. “Good. Maybe we can talk about something else now.”

“Like what?” The words flew from her mouth in a panicky screech, causing a mischievous grin to spread across Nathan’s face. Catherine tried not to stiffen when he reached over and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her closer. Her back felt as if it had been fused into an unbreakable column, though, and she heard Nathan sigh a tired sigh.

“Catherine, relax. I’m not going to bite.”

“I know. Sorry.” She straightened, willed her body to relax and succeeded only slightly. But at least she didn’t pull away; she gave herself credit for that. Apparently so did Nathan because he offered her a small smile before shifting closer to her. He studied her in the silence. Catherine swallowed and took another sip of water.

“Better now?” Nathan smiled again, reached out and pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. Catherine ignored the shiver that raced through her at the touch. “I meant what I said last night. About not doing one-night stands.”

“Um, oh.”

“‘Oh,’ hmm? You know, this would be a lot easier if you actually participated. Maybe said a word or two.”

Catherine knew the words were meant to tease, meant to lighten the conversation, but she still couldn’t relax. She didn’t know where the conversation was heading or what Nathan expected from her. That was probably the worst, the not knowing. She took a deep breath and downed the last of her water.

“I don’t know what to say. I mean, I didn’t expect any of this to happen.” I don’t even know what
this
is, she thought to herself. She looked down and realized her hands were fidgeting. She wished she hadn’t put her empty glass on the table.

“So what were you expecting?” The question was a whisper, full of emotion Catherine couldn’t interpret. She turned toward Nathan, felt her heart lurch at the look in his eyes. Awareness flared between them, spreading a warmth through her that was almost as painful as the realization that suddenly gripped her.

She was falling for Nathan. Had already fallen. Hard.

Warning bells rang loudly in her ears but it was too late. What had happened to the barriers she so carefully erected around herself? When had Nathan chiseled away at them a piece at a time until they no longer offered protection?

There hadn’t been a specific occasion, she realized. Instead, it had been a gradual attack, slowly over the past few months. Fear threatened to suffocate her. She had fallen for him. Against all of her own precautions, the man sitting across from her had worked his way into her heart and latched on.

“Catherine, what were you expecting?” Nathan repeated the question, drawing her attention back to their conversation.

“I don’t know. I don’t think I was expecting anything. None of this.” She waved her hand back and forth, motioning to the two of them. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.”

“Why not? Catherine, look at me.” Nathan cupped her chin in his hand, gently turned her so they were facing each other. His voice grew soft, husky. “There was something there that first day I met you, and I think you know it.”

“I thought you were a jerk.” The words popped out before she realized she was going to say them, and her eyes widened in disbelief. The embarrassment eased some at Nathan’s soft chuckle. She fumbled with an apology but he waved it away.

“I had already figured that one out. Believe it or not, I do catch on quick.” The laughter faded from his eyes, replaced by a deep warmth that sent more warnings through Catherine. “I know I’m not the only one who thinks there’s more to this. I can see it in your eyes even though you try so hard to hide it.”

“Nathan —”

“Shh. I’m not going to force anything on you and I’m not going to push you in a direction you don’t want to go. But I’m not going away, either. I don’t want to, and I don’t think you want me to.” His eyes searched hers, probing, before he lowered his head. She leaned in to his kiss, touched by the emotion it conveyed. She tried to hide her disappointment when he pulled away.

“I don’t understand you.” Catherine searched his face, looking for a hidden agenda and finding none. Instead, he met her stare, an eyebrow cocked in expectation as one corner of his mouth turned up in that boyish grin of his.

“What’s not to understand?”

“It’s just, most guys would never say anything like that. I always thought men were supposed to be more…I don’t know, closed, I guess.”

“Or hardheaded?”

Catherine laughed at his choice of words, knowing they were closer to what she meant. Nathan smiled and pulled her closer, tucking her securely against him.

“I’m just as hardheaded as the next guy, but I’m not stupid. I don’t believe in playing games. If there’s something I want, why not go after it? Why take the chance of losing it? I learned a long time ago that going after what you want is a helluva lot better than waiting until it’s too late.”

Catherine let his words sink in, tried to figure out their exact meaning without looking at them too closely. It was too much to absorb all at once. Part of her wanted to ask if his words reflected deeper feelings. But she remained quiet, lost in her own thoughts as she rested her head against his chest.

Tension eased out of her, aided by Nathan’s gentle caressing of her arm, by the slow rise and fall of his chest under her head. She heard the echo of his heart, a strong, steady beat, lulling in its rhythm, comforting in its strength.

“I wanted to thank you, by the way.”

“Thank me for what?” His voice was a deep rumble under her ear, soothing and relaxed.

“Brian and I went to the practice rink first today. Why didn’t you tell me you would be fined for missing practice?”

Nathan stared down at her, offered her a quick grin before easing her head back against his chest. Catherine felt him shrug under her. “There were more important things to worry about.”

“More important to me, you mean.”

“No, to me, too. I’ve kinda gotten attached to Matty. The kid grows on you, you know?”

Catherine smothered a laugh. “You mean like a fungus? I’m sure Matty would be overjoyed to hear you say that.”

“I didn’t mean —”

Catherine straightened, placed a finger over his mouth to cut him off. “I know you didn’t mean it that way. And I know how much it meant to Matty. He’s become attached to you, too.”

Nathan shifted against her, the expression in his eyes serious as he looked down at her. He placed a light kiss against her forehead then offered her a reassuring smile. “He’s going to be fine, Catherine. He’s a lot stronger than you think.”

“I know. It’s just going to take some getting used to, after worrying about him for so long.” She dropped her head against his shoulder and let her eyes drift closed.

“Just take it one day at a time. Things will work out.”

C
atherine jumped to her feet with the other 19,000 people surrounding her. She looked down at Matty and felt a smile spread across her face that had nothing to do with the
Banners’
goal. Matty was hopping up and down, waving his pennant with enthusiasm. Nathan’s jersey hung on his small frame, still too big for him, but he no longer looked lost in it.

Or maybe she was just starting to see her son for the healthy boy he now was. Catherine sat down as the game resumed, sneaking a glance at Matty. He
did
look different. More self-confident, more enthusiastic and outgoing. Just another nine-year-old boy attending a hockey game. People didn’t even notice his prosthesis, especially when it was hidden by his jeans.

Catherine shook her head, amazed at how well and how fast he had adjusted to it. A finger of guilt crept over her but she shrugged it away. Yes, she had been wrong to make him wait, she knew that both as his mother and as a doctor. But that was in the past and there was nothing she could do about it now.

She realized suddenly that Matty wasn’t the only one who was different, who had changed in the last few months.

“You’re deep in thought. Not a good sign.” Brian’s voice was close to her ear, startling her.

“Just good thoughts.”

Brian motioned to Matty, who was sitting on the edge of the seat, all his attention focused on the game. “He’s fine, Catherine. No more worries.”

“I know. That’s what I was just thinking.” She turned back to face the ice as the crowd cheered for Alec’s last save, and she clapped with everyone else as the puck was moved to the opponent’s side of the ice. She held her breath, leaned forward to watch as the players passed the puck back and forth until Nathan received it and took a shot on goal.

A groan went up from the crowd as the goalie fell back, pulling the puck out of the air before it crossed the line. An official blew the whistle, signaling a stop in play. Catherine turned back to Brian as the players drifted to center ice.

“This is turning out to be a pretty good game.”

“A good game? Catherine, this is unbelievable! Look at the score, will you? Four to two. And it’s only the second period!” Brian’s eyes sparkled as he waved around them, and Catherine laughed at his obvious delight. She hadn’t realized what a big fan he was. Or how big a fan she was becoming herself.

The tickets had been another of Nathan’s treats, just one of many in the last few weeks since Matty had broken his arm. Tonight they were in the club level, being treated with pomp and circumstance Catherine had trouble associating with ice hockey. She gave up trying to determine how much was normal attention, and how much was arranged by Nathan.

She glanced again at Matty, down at the special orange pass he wore around his neck that matched the ones she and Brian had. The passes would allow them access to the locker rooms after the game. Why Nathan had provided them was something she could only guess at. They had made several trips down there over the last few weeks, as well as social outings with the other players. She doubted if they were strangers to anyone working with the team.

Her attention swung back to the game while her thoughts traveled forward to what the night might bring.

Nathan yanked at his soaked jersey, pulling it over his head with a wince and tossing it on the bench before sitting down. He needed to take off his pads and skates, and all the other equipment that suddenly seemed to weigh so much. But for right now, all he wanted to do was sit back and take a break.

“Nice game, Nathan, but you’re going to be sore tomorrow, for sure.” Alec tapped him on the head with the blade of his stick, then tossed it on the floor before sitting down. The groan that escaped him echoed Nathan’s feelings exactly.

“I don’t think ‘sore’ covers it. I feel like I’ve been run through a meat grinder with dull blades.” Nathan removed his skates and socks, wincing at the dull pain that throbbed along his left side, from his shoulder all the way down to his knee.

“Yeah. That was a helluva hit you took. How’s the knee?”

“About as good as the rest of me — which is not so good.” Nathan pulled the chest pads and T-shirt over his head, then twisted sideways to survey the damage. His breath came out in a hiss when he saw the series of dark bruises on the side of his chest and leg. Alec let out a low whistle.

“Oooh yeah, you are definitely going to be hurting tomorrow. Better go soak in the whirlpool before you stiffen up.”

“I think it’s a little late for that.” Nathan’s words came out in one long grunt as he stood and stripped off the rest of his gear. “Listen, Catherine and Matty are supposed to meet me down here. Can you keep them company while I soak?”

“Yeah, no problem.” Alec watched Nathan with a speculative gleam in his eye. “So just how serious are you two, anyway? You’ve been seeing a lot of her lately.”

“I don’t know. Halfway serious, I guess. I’m not pushing her anywhere, though, just taking it one day at a time.”

Alec raised his eyebrows in disbelief and snorted before turning away. Nathan grabbed a Ping-Pong ball off the table next to him and threw it at Alec, hitting him in the head.

“That was for the smart-ass comments you were thinking,” Nathan explained when Alec faced him with a questioning look. He ducked as the ball was thrown back at him, laughing as he made his way to the whirlpool room, doing his best not to limp.

He eased his body into the whirlpool, leaned back and closed his eyes as the swirling water closed over him. Blissful silence settled over him. He had just started relaxing, allowing the sounds of the water to lull him, when a loud bang startled him. Nathan jumped, cursing silently when he saw Sonny LeBlanc looming over him, beefy arms folded across his wide chest.

“How’s the knee?” Sonny’s voice was deceptively soft, instantly putting Nathan on alert. He gave Sonny a cursory look before turning away.

“Fine. A little stiff. Nothing that won’t go away.”

“I want it checked out.”

“I said it was fine. Leave it alone.”

“Get it checked out or I’ll put you on injured reserve.”

Fury bubbled through Nathan. He took a deep breath and glared at Sonny. His clipped words fought their way through clenched teeth. “I said it was fine.”

Sonny stepped closer and pointed a large finger at him. “And I said get it checked. Don’t push me, Conners. I don’t need you screwing yourself up, not this close to the finals.”

The two men locked eyes, waging a heated battle of wills. Nathan looked away first. “Fine. I’ll get it looked at.”

“And I don’t mean by that doctor you’re seeing.”

“Wait a minute. There’s no need —”

“I mean it, Conners. Get somebody else besides her. I don’t want you charming her into thinking nothing’s wrong.”

Nathan nearly laughed at Sonny’s assessment of Catherine, knowing he couldn’t be more wrong. She would be the first to bench him if she thought there was a problem, charming or not, but he didn’t see the point in telling Sonny that. Instead he leaned back in the tub and offered him a grunt of assent, knowing Sonny was serious about pulling him.

He thought Sonny was finished talking and apprehension knotted his gut when he let out a long sigh and took a seat on the side of the tub, his expression more serious than feral. “Have you given any thought about next season?”

The question was like a punch, instantly putting Nathan on the defensive. He glanced at Sonny, swallowed back more apprehension at the look on his face. “Thought about what?”

“About your playing. You do a good job of hiding it, and some days are better than others.” He paused, leveling a serious look at Nathan. “But we both know your knee’s not what it used to be, and that it’s not getting better.”

Leave it to Sonny to get right to the heart of matters, Nathan thought. Something dangerously close to fear raced through him and he did his best to push it away. “The knee’s fine.”

“That remains to be seen.” Sonny stood and walked toward the door, pausing to stare at Nathan again. “You need to think about it, Conners. And then think about this. We need a new training coach next year. If you want it, the job is yours.”

“No.”

“Just think it over.”

“I’m a player, not a coach.”

Long seconds ticked by before Sonny responded, his voice quiet and thoughtful. Nathan turned and felt an unknown emotion sweep through him as Sonny fingered the scar that ran down his face. “I used to say the same thing.”

Nathan sat in the whirlpool for long minutes after Sonny left, no longer feeling the water that rushed over him, no longer feeling the dull throb of pain along the left side of his body. He was numb. Empty. Almost detached.

Fury and frustration seeped into him as Sonny’s words played through his mind. Everything was fine. He was playing strong. Christ, he had even scored twice tonight! His knee was fine, nothing more than an occasional pain. Nothing that couldn’t be expected with the grueling practices and hard play that were part of his daily life.

Everything had been fine until Sonny showed up and started talking nonsense. And that’s all it was, pure nonsense.

“Dammit!”

Nathan balled one hand into a fist and slammed it against the tile wall. He hit the wall again, barely feeling the impact against the flesh of his hand. “Dammit!”

Sonny was wrong. Everything was fine.

Catherine smiled absently at something Alec said, glanced at her watch then sighed. It was getting late, way past Matty’s bedtime. If Nathan wasn’t ready soon, they’d have to leave. She already would have if it had been a weeknight.

Youthful laughter caught her attention and she turned, smiling again as she watched the Ping-Pong game Matty and Alec were playing. Catherine stood, knowing she should get Matty ready to leave. She just wished Nathan wasn’t taking so long showing Brian around.

“Hey, Matty, are you almost ready to leave?”

“Mom, we’re still playing! Besides, Nathan’s not back yet.”

“I know, but it’s way past your bedtime, kiddo. You’ve got a long day tomorrow.” Catherine fixed Matty with her sternest maternal glare before he could protest again. His eyes rounded in feigned innocence and he poked out his lower lip just far enough to make it convincing. She shook her head.

“But, Mom…”

“Better do what she says, Matt. Looks like she means business to me. I certainly wouldn’t want to tangle with her.” Matty giggled at Alec, letting them know how ridiculous his words sounded. Catherine flashed a grateful smile at Alec then walked over to where she had put their coats. She was just shrugging into hers when Nathan and Brian turned the corner, both of them looking serious.

Nathan offered her a tired smile as he closed the short distance between them. His arms came around her in a quick hug and he pressed a kiss against her lips before stepping away. She still wasn’t accustomed to his public displays of affection, and her face heated at the attention. She offered him a quick smile that faded when she saw how tired he looked.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

Catherine studied him some more then turned to Matty and motioned for him to put on his coat. The expression on his face clearly said he was doing it against his will.

“Hey, Nathan, are we still going to go for ice cream?”

“I think we’d better skip on that tonight.” Catherine’s voice was firm, but she was still surprised when he didn’t offer any protest. Going out for ice cream after the games had become a small ritual with them, something she knew Matty looked forward to with excitement. She wasn’t sure if it was the ice cream, the time spent with Nathan or the attention they always seemed to attract. Knowing Matty, it was probably all three.

“You’re not heading home, are you?” Nathan’s quiet voice caught her attention, and she turned to study him. His eyes were hooded, strained. She noticed for the first time that he looked worse than tired. He looked drained, physically worn out. Part of her wanted to reach out and feel his forehead to see if he was coming down with something. She rammed her hand into her pocket before she could do just that, knowing that the action would be too motherly and embarrassing.

“I was thinking about it. It’s past Matty’s bedtime.”

“Catherine, why don’t I take Matty home with me? You can pick him up in the morning.” She turned and frowned at Brian, wondering what he was up to. He usually asked her first before offering something like that. She opened her mouth to reply but saw something in Brian’s eyes that made her stop. She saw a similar look in Nathan’s eyes before he turned away.

Something was going on, but she had no idea what. She chewed on her lower lip, trying to ignore Matty’s pleas.

“Um, okay. But you go straight to bed when you get there, young man. Understand? And I’ll be over early to pick you up.” Was it her imagination, or did Nathan seem to breathe a sigh of relief at her agreement? She glanced at him again, frowning, but couldn’t see anything in his tired eyes.

Brian gathered the rest of Matty’s things then led him out of the locker room. She watched them leave, surprised at the sudden silence that arrived with their departure. She noticed for the first time that Alec was also gone and that she and Nathan were the only two left.

“Now what’s going —” The question was interrupted when Nathan’s mouth closed over hers in a kiss that nearly buckled her legs. She wrapped her arms around his neck, partly for support, partly to be closer to him.

“I have been wanting to do that all night.” Nathan’s warm breath caressed the side of her neck as he held her close, gently rubbing her back with his hands. She breathed deeply and rested her head against his chest, enjoying the feel of simply being near him. It was a sensation she could quickly become accustomed to. Was already too accustomed to.

Catherine remained in his arms for a few more minutes then reluctantly pulled away and looked up at him. She thought she saw despair in his eyes, frowned when it disappeared behind a worried look. “Is something wrong, Nathan?”