Find You in the Dark (2 page)

 
I fumbled to try and get my phone out of my jacket pocket, wanting to send a last text to my friends to let them know I was there.  It seemed that I was having a lot of trouble getting it out, thus I was less than attentive as I slammed into the back of someone who had stopped in the middle of the sidewalk.

  “
Hey!”  I yelled as I collided with the very solid body.  I dropped my phone, the back popping off and the battery skittering across the concrete.  The guy dropped the papers he was holding and they scattered at his feet. 

 
We simultaneously let loose a string of expletives that would have earned me a mouth full of soap had my mother heard.  “What the hell?”  The guy growled, stooping to pick up the items he had dropped in our bodily fender bender.  Okay, I was already in a craptastic mood and his snotty tone was just the icing on an already pissy cake.  So maybe I was being clumsy and all but I didn't need some random guy giving me grief.  “Oh I'm sorry, did I miss the stop sign?” I fired back, not bothering to look at the jack ass as I tried to fit the broken metal onto the back of my phone.

 
I heard, what sounded like, a gritting of teeth.  “Guess it's too much to expect an apology.”  His sarcasm was thick, his words ground out through obvious clenched teeth.  “Probably.”  I quipped, finally looking up into the most amazing pair of brown eyes that I had ever seen.

 
Hot damn.  Cue the violins and happy cartoon bunnies, I was in the middle of a Disney moment.  Because this guy was gorgeous.  And we were standing so close to each other.  If he hadn't been holding onto a barely contained rage directed at yours truly, it could have almost been construed as romantic.

 
Just add delusions to my growing list of issues. 

 
Mr. Cutie stood there in all of his infuriated glory - and he was seriously angry.  His perfectly symmetrical face -(covered in a fine dusting of adorable freckles, I might add-) was flushed a rather concerning shade of red.  Those awesome brown eyes that I had already noticed flashed murder.  He was quite a bit taller than me, with dark hair that curled around his forehead and ears as though he hadn't bothered with a haircut in a while.  He had a cleft in his chin and a tiny scar under his right eye.  And despite his obvious good looks, he appeared decidedly unhinged.  Wow, they were only papers.

 
Cute boy took a deep breath and closed his eyes.  I jammed my hands in my pockets and made the decision to get the hell out of there.  I started to move around him, making sure to give him a wide berth.  His voice, much calmer now, stopped me.  “Well, you could at least tell me where the main office is.  You know, after practically running me over and all.” 

 
If his tone had been playful, I would be able to pretend he was flirting with me.  But nope, he was terse and irritated and in a very bad mood.  And I had had enough of it for one morning.  So cuteness aside, this guy could go take a flying leap somewhere.

  “
You're a big boy, I'm sure you can handle this one on your own.”  I turned my back and quickly walked away.  “Thanks for nothing.”  He yelled after me.  Yep, hot boy came with a bad attitude.  Not really my idea of a good time, thank you very much.  I couldn't get away fast enough.

                                                
Chapter Two

  “
That's it!  I'm swearing off every member of the female population.  Do they still have monasteries?  Cause a life time of praying and bad haircuts sure as hell beats chicks and their freaking drama.”  Daniel's lunch tray came down with a loud clang on the table.

 
Rachel and I rolled our eyes in unison and turned to the third member of our trio with what we hoped were supportive expressions.  “What did Kylie do this time?”  Rachel asked, popping a Cheeto into her mouth.  Daniel ran his hand over his buzzed blonde head.  He was clearly very agitated.  But honestly, when wasn't he agitated?  Daniel was as big a drama queen -(or king, or whatever-) as any girl.

 
He let out a long, tortured sigh and propped his chin on his hand.  Rachel's eyes went all gooey and I saw the tell-tale signs of her unrequited crush rearing its ugly head.  Looking at our best friend, it was easy to understand why she felt the way she did.  Daniel was easily one of the best looking guys at Jackson High School.  If he wasn't the closest thing I had to a brother, I would have joined Rachel in crush land.  His puppy dog eyes and perfect lips were many a girl's dream and definitely helped in the popularity department.  Rachel and I, being his best friends, gained popularity by association.  Not that I cared much about all that. 

 
Daniel's on and off again relationship with Kylie Good, a perky junior who happened to be co-captain of the girls' field hockey team and was so cute you wanted to slap her, was the source of a lot of drama.  Honestly, it was exhausting, even as a spectator.  Kylie was nice in a fake kind of way, but in my opinion, it was her insane insecurities and ever more insane jealousy that made her truly insufferable and a really shitty girlfriend.

 
Personally, I thought Daniel got off on the craziness of their relationship.  Some people were like that.  Getting some sort of thrill out of constant turmoil.  Otherwise I couldn't wrap my mind around why Daniel would put up with all of that nonsense for the last year and a half.

  “
I've been staying after school getting help in trig from Laura Johnson.  Shit, it's just school work.  And it's fucking Laura, granny panties, Johnson!  It's not like I've been secretly banging her as she whispers math problems in my ear or something.”  Rachel and I stifled a giggle.  Daniel shook his bottle of chocolate milk, his admitted weakness, and opened it roughly.  Daniel raised his eyebrows as we tried to stop laughing.  I trained my face into blank attentiveness. 

  “
So Kylie thinks  you're getting it on with Laura?  Really?  Has she lost what little brains that haven't already gone missing from one too many hockey sticks to the head?”  I asked, popping open my can of soda.  Daniel frowned and chose to ignore my comment.  Rachel jumped in, the epitome of understanding and support.  “So what happened, Danny?  Did you guys have a fight?”  Daniel's expression smoothed out and he sighed again.  Yep, total drama queen.

  “
Yeah, Kylie just went off on me.  She says I shouldn't be spending so much time alone with girls that weren't her.  She is just completely irrational.”  “What about us?  You spend tons of time with us.  Last time I checked, we fit in the vagina column.”  I remarked.  Daniel choked on his milk.  Rachel snorted. 

 
Daniel cleared his throat.  “You guys don't really count.  I mean, you're Rachel and Mags.  Kylie knows that you guys might as well have a penis.”  Well, that was more than bordering on offensive.  Rachel moved her hands into her lap, clearly hurt by Daniel's words.  He was so dense.  How could he not see that saying something like that could hurt someone's feelings?

 
Seeing the looks on our faces, his cheeks went red.   “No, I didn't mean it like that.  Of course I know you're girls...it's just you're my friends and everything...and...oh hell, I didn't mean to be a dick.”  Okay maybe he wasn't a complete dolt.  I shrugged, letting him know he was cool, with me at least.  Rachel wouldn't look at him.  “Rachel, I'm sorry.  Don't be mad at me.  You know it's just my verbal diarrhea brought on by a bad case of Kylie angst.  Forgive me darlin'.”  Daniel was laying it on thick and Rachel was defenseless against his evil attack of charm.

 
Rachel smiled at him.  “I understand.”  She told him and I thought I would gag at her simpering.  I loved Rachel, don't get me wrong.  But I wished she would grow a pair when it came to Daniel.  He unknowingly walked all over her.  Daniel was not an asshole by nature, just really self- centered and egocentric.  He was a good friend though and fiercely protective of Rachel and me, which is why it was so easy to dismiss his moments of jerkiness. 

 
But Rachel had it so bad that I felt horrible for her.  She had loved Daniel pretty much since we could formulate words.  She held him up as some sort of perfect specimen of man.  She never dated, holding out hope for her fairy tale ending.  Poor girl.  And Daniel had no flipping clue.  Okay, he
was
a dolt.      Because Rachel was stunning.  Her brown hair wasn't mousy like mine, it was lovely and curly in a way I always envied.  She was shorter than me but possessed curves that clearly stated, “I am girl, hear me roar.”  She and Daniel would have made the most gorgeous couple, if only he could see past his own idiocy.

  “
I just can't take her crap anymore.”  Daniel moaned, bringing the conversation back to him.  Rachel, being the total nurturer, rubbed the back of his hand.  “Danny, you are only seventeen.  You really don't need all the hassle.”  As if I couldn't see the true motive behind her words. 

 
Well, I was less diplomatic.  I leaned over and grabbed a fry from Daniel's tray.  “Just dump her Danny.  She's a serious whack job.  One day you'll come home and she'll have boiled your guinea pig.”  Daniel arched that annoying eyebrow in my direction and started eating his less than edible hamburger.

 
Rachel frowned at me, clearly irritated with my lack of sensitivity.  Excuse me if I didn't understand why people wasted so much energy on relationships that made them miserable.  I had an awesome example of what functional love was supposed to look like and so much of what I saw around me was anything but that.  Which I guess is why I never bothered with the whole dating thing.  Nothing lived up to the standards that I had set for myself.

 
Sure kissing was fun but it was all that other messy stuff that seemed to come with teenage dating that I could do without.

 
I'd never had a “boyfriend” per se.  I'd gone on a handful of dates, made out some, teased going to second base at the occasional party after a foot ball game- (though I was by no means a slut or a tease.  My boundaries were firmly in place-).  That was all fine and dandy, but I just didn't see the need to pair off with some random the way Daniel and Rachel did.

 
Rachel was a hopeless romantic, her crush on Daniel, case in point.  She longed for her one great love and all that Romeo and Juliet junk.  She had told me more than once that my double X chromosome must be on the fritz because I was unconcerned with all those female trappings.   Not that I was a tomboy or anything, I just had a more male approach to hooking up and dating.

  “
You make it sound so easy, Maggie.  One day you'll get it.”  Daniel muttered.  I just shrugged and focused on my lunch, letting Rachel do the whole advice and consoling thing.  She was much better at it anyway. 

 
While my friends ruminated on the disastrous state of Daniel's love life, my eyes flitted around the cafeteria.  Everyone and everything was just as it should be.  The population of Jackson High School existing in their perfectly predestined circles.  The jocks ate at their table in the middle of the room, making suggestive comments to the cheerleaders and tripping the AV geeks as they scuttled by.  The goth kids sat in the back, writing bad poetry, or applying more eye liner, or whatever it was they did.  The social outcasts sat on the fringes, not making eye contact.  Nothing changed.  Everything was so predictable and boring I wanted to gouge my eyes out.

 
Then my eyes landed on
him
.  That familiar black head and beat up army jacket.  It was the not so pleasant guy from this morning.  Now, there was someone who was anything but boring, even if he seemed a bit psychotically temperamental. 

 
He was making his way through the lunch line, haphazardly dropping food items on the tray.  He obviously couldn't care less about what he was going to eat and seemed to be doing nothing more than going through the motions. 

 
Even from here, his ridiculous good looks were startling.  He definitely had the attention of most of the kids in the room.  The girls whispered to each other as they batted their Mabelline mascaraed eyes in his direction.  The jocks stared him down, feeling the threat of encroaching testosterone in their territory.

 
What was interesting to watch was that this guy clearly didn't give a shit about any of it.  In fact his body language practically screamed “Leave Me Alone!”  He stood with his shoulders hunched forward, his chin pointed inward towards his chest.  His shaggy hair hung in his face, obscuring his eyes.   He shuffled along as if he were trying not to draw attention to himself. 

 
Good luck there buddy.  Davidson was a small town and the arrival of a new student was like dropping a bloody steak into a tank full of sharks.  He'd be devoured in no time. 

 
I watched him pay for his food without saying a word to the lunch lady.  He picked up his tray and moved quickly toward a table near the back.  Into outcast zone.  Interesting.  This guy could easily have sat anywhere.  He could have carved out any place within the social hierarchy that he wanted.  But instead he sat at a table by himself without once making eye contact with anyone.  He pulled an MP3 player out of his tattered army jacket pocket and put the ear buds in.  His vibe was loud and clear;  don't approach under fear of death!