Fighting to be Free by Kirsty Moseley

Fighting to be Free by Kirsty Moseley

Copyright © 2011 Kirsty Moseley

Jamie Cole has had a hard life and has just been let out of jail for murder. Before he went to jail Jamie ran with the local gang, upon his release he's determined to go straight but will the leader let him? One more job is what he's promised but this one job seems to be leading to two, then three and he's not sure he'll ever escape his old life. He meets Ellie one night at a club, she's just broke up with her long term boyfriend and isn't looking for anything serious which suits them both. Jamie finds himself drawn to her and now he has another reason to change, she knows nothing about his past and he wants to keep it that way.

I walked into the dull little office, “Have a seat,” the guy barked not even looking up from his desk, I rolled my eyes and sat down on the old frayed chair. He was scribbling on a form, so I waited patiently looking around the little room. It was painted a dirty cream colour, it was boring, plain and the only furniture was filing cabinets and the desk, it was dank, dark and for some reason smelled like cat‘s piss. Surely this guy must be suffering from some sort of depression working in here all day! The room literally felt like it was sucking the life out of me.

Part of me couldn’t wait to get out of this place, but to be honest in another way I didn’t want to leave. I had been here for just over four years, most of the people that were in here cried themselves to sleep and wished they were anywhere but here, but I knew of a worse place. This place was actually the best place I had ever lived in my life. I had a small amount of freedom, a TV we could watch, a gym - yeah ok it was poorly stocked but hey still we had one - we had a few board games, plenty of time to hang out with my friends.

Yeah, there were down sides too, like trying to stay out of trouble, staying the hell away from the gangs and rapists, set time for lights out, the food was awful, but it could be worse, I could have still been in the place I used to call home. This place saved me and I was hoping that it had changed my life, had given me a fighting chance. I didn’t want to go back to my life before all this happened, I couldn’t live my life the way I used to, I was determined to change.

Finally he glanced up at me, looking bored, “Right so, Jamie Cole, four years two months, on kitchen duty at $1 a day means the state now owes you $1520,” the guy said tapping on a calculator.

Wow, ok $1520 is not going to very last long!

“Ok thanks.” I nodded trying to be polite. I don’t think he bought it though, I think he thought I was being sarcastic. His jaw tightened as he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Your accommodation has been arranged for you, it‘s a bed-sit block specifically built for rehabilitating cons, so you should fit in well there.” He shrugged, turning his nose up.

Rude freaking asshole! I clamped my jaw tight not wanting to say anything that would get me in trouble. I was eager for my new life, starting a row with this balding little fucker wouldn’t be an idea way to start going straight.

“Sounds awesome,” I lied quietly. I wanted to ask him to just give me the money so I could leave, but I held my tongue.

“It’s not. It costs $50 a week. It’s not a nice place so if I were you I would look for a job and get the hell out of there as quickly as you can,” he said, frowning slightly. Not a nice place? Ok great that is so not a good sign, but I guess I wasn’t really expecting the Ritz! “I’m your parole officer, Stuart Mitchell. I need to see you once a week, every Thursday at five, at the address here on this card.

You understand?” he asked, looking at me like I was stupid as he handed me a business card.

I nodded, “Yeah, I got it.” Could this guy be any more condescending?

“Well good, because if you’re late even once you‘ll be straight back inside. You’re over 18 now so it won’t be juvie like you’re used to, it‘ll be with the big boys,” he said, looking at me warningly.

Yeah I got it, address on the card, Thursday five o‘clock, don‘t be late, right! “I don’t set up jobs you’ll have to do that on your own and you’re going to have your work cut out for you even getting an interview, people don’t look too kindly on convicted murderers,” he said a small smile playing on the edge of his lips. Yeah I freaking bet they didn’t look too kindly on it, that’s why I didn’t plan on telling anyone.

“Right, so are we nearly done?” I asked, raising my eyebrows curiously. I could feel my mood getting lower and lower the longer I sat in this little shitty place and I was on a high before I came in here. I was free, finally today after just over four years in juvie, I was free to start over.

He dug around in a little drawer and came out with a little brown envelope and a stack of forms.

“So this is your money, don’t waste it on drink, drugs and prostitutes, the minute it’s gone you’ll regret it. I need you to sign here and you can go, the address for your place is on the front of the envelope.” He handed me a form and pen, pointing at the bottom where I needed to make my mark.

I scribbled my name and took the envelope pulling out a twenty and putting it in my jeans pocket before pushing the rest down my sock, no damn way I was losing that already. I stood up and held my hand out to him; he looked at it a little shocked before placing his hand in mine. “Well good luck son, and I’ll see you in a few days,” he said frowning.

“Thanks, see ya.” I smiled gratefully and turned walking out of his office.

Larry, one of the guards stopped me at the door and searched through my rucksack. There was nothing of interest in there, the only things I had were a few sets of clothes and one photograph of my little sister, Sophie. He waved to the guard and they buzzed the door open. I looked outside, the sun was shining, there were no walls with barbed wire on the top, just a clear open view of a road and a yellow field.

“Well Cole 32968, I hope I never see you again,” Larry said, slapping me on the back smiling. As guards go he was great, fair and kind, he treated everybody the same, no matter what they were in for.

“Thanks Larry. I hope I never see you again too.” I grinned as I shook his hand, he nodded and laughed. I took a deep breath before pushing open the door and leaving the place I vowed I would never return to again.

My heart was beating out of my chest, it felt weird to be walking away from the place I considered home for the last four years. I felt like I shouldn’t be leaving, I was waiting for the alarms to sound and someone to tackle me to the ground and start smashing me with a baton or something. They didn’t, I walked to the edge of the grounds, I didn’t look back, I’d never look back, this was my fresh start. I laughed and ran a hand through my shaven hair, I guess I could grow my hair back now, no rules, I could do whatever the hell I liked. The thought actually scared me a little.

I started to walk over to the yellow cab that was parked there for me, “Hey kid!” someone shouted, I turned round and my heart dropped down to my feet. What the fuck do they want?

“Ed? Callum?” I said curiously, I hadn’t seen these guys since I was sent down and I didn’t want to see them now. But why the hell are they here?

Ed grabbed my hand and pulled me into a hug slapping me on the back, “Good to see you kid,” he said happily. Yeah sorry I can’t say the same!

“Yeah, what are you guys doing here?” I asked, looking around nervously, I didn’t even want to be seen talking to these guys again.

“Boss wants to see you.” Ed nodded towards their shiny Mercedes parked a few feet away from the cab that I was so desperately trying to get into.

Shit! “I can’t right now, I need to go get checked into my new place,” I said, trying to think of a better excuse, but I knew it was useless anyway, if Brett Mason wanted to see me, he’d see me conscious or unconscious.

Ed smiled, “Boss wants to see you, now. You can check in to your place later,” he said sternly, walking off towards his car without even waiting for me to answer, he knew I’d follow. No one ever went against what Brett said, or if they did they didn’t live to tell the tale. Fuck my life!

I followed behind and sat next to Ed in the back of their car, I felt sick, how on earth was I going to get out of this? In total honesty I probably wasn’t going to live through the rest of the day, so much for the fresh start I wanted. Wow, I wasn’t even going to see the sun set. To say that my life sucks right now would be the understatement of the century.

I rested my head back on the seat and closed my eyes, why did I even hope that things could be different? There was no way he would let me live, I knew too much stuff about him. The things I knew could put him away for years, but I would never tell. I’d been offered a deal so many times when I was going down, reduced sentence, a high class juvie instead of the crap hole I was sent to, even a cushy little job when I was inside. But I never once even thought of turning state and standing against him, never. What was the point I wouldn’t have lived to see the trial anyway. Brett Mason had people on the inside of the police too, I probably would have been shanked in my cell by one of the guards.

Ed patted my leg bringing me out of my little self-wallowing state, “So how was it, Kid, ok?” he asked curiously.

Jeez, I hated being called ‘Kid’. They all called me it when I worked for Brett, I guess because when I started working for him that’s what I was, I was twelve years old the first time I did a job for him. Dropping off a brown envelope full of cash through the window of a parked cop patrol car, bribe money. The cops turned a blind eye to his activities and he stayed off of their turf, perfect.

Things got worse as I got older, the jobs got more involved. Information gathering, being a lookout for robberies, stealing cars, running drugs, the worst one was when I was asked to tag along and ‘witness’ an exchange. God I hated those, I could still hear the sounds of the shop owners who paid for Brett’s ‘protection’ begging as he smashed their fingers with a hammer when they couldn’t pay.

He told me watching it was character building, I think he was grooming me to move higher in his organization, catch them young bring them up on violence that’s all you know I guess.

“Kid? You ok?” Ed asked when I didn’t answer.

I nodded weakly, “Yeah I’m fine, Ed. It was ok I guess, the time went slow but it was ok,” I said honestly. I wouldn’t tell him that I actually loved it there and it was the safest I had felt since I could remember, no one knew what it was really like for me when I lived at home and I wanted to keep it that way.

“Boss was pretty pissed when you broke Terry’s face when you first got sent down,” Ed said, laughing. I looked at him confused, why the hell would Brett be bothered if I got into a fight in juvie?

“Why?” I asked.

Ed laughed again. “He pulled in a favour, had Terry all set up to look after you when you first went in. You were only fourteen, Terry had been in there a few years and knew the drill, Boss thought that if you had someone looking out for you that no one would pick on you, but you knocked the guy unconscious,” he said, shaking his head looking at me proudly.

Crap Brett set that up? “I didn’t know Brett did that! The guy came over offering me protection, so I did what I thought was best,” I said shrugging.

That wasn’t the whole reason I did it, ‘protection’ was the kind of thing Brett offered to the shop keepers and I knew I would owe the guy who was offering it. There was no way in hell I was starting my first day in juvie owing a big guy anything, so I grabbed the back of his head, smashed his face into the table and told him and everyone else that was there that I could look after myself.

No one picked on me after that, so I guess it had the desired effect.

“Yeah, I was laughing my ass off when I heard about it. I told Boss not to worry about you, you always could look after yourself, kid.” He grinned, patting my back proudly.

I nodded stiffly, “Yeah, I guess. Damn it, I wish I knew Brett set that up though, I got two weeks in solitary for doing that to him,” I grumbled, making him laugh harder.

We pulled up to the warehouse that I had spent so much time in when I was younger. The place hadn’t changed at all, my stomach clenched as I thought about what was probably going to happen to me inside, I just prayed that it would be quick and painless. Brett owed me that, right?

“Come on then kid, let’s go,” Ed said, grinning happily as he got out.

I held my breath as I followed him out of the car. I recognised the sounds of the angle grinders and welders from the warehouse chop-shop where I had spent so many hours leaning how to remove serial and chassis numbers so that we could sell on the cars that I stole to order. I was the best car thief in the Brett’s organisation. People placed their order, Brett found where it was and I stole it, easy, I never even came close to being caught. We didn’t steal any old car though, it had to be top end, we didn’t take anything worth less than a hundred thousand. Most of the time the cars were advertised as ‘un-stealable’ in reality no car is un-stealable, you just need to know how to handle it right.

I reluctantly followed Ed through the warehouse, trying to keep my head up and show confidence.