Fighting to be Free by Kirsty Moseley (32 page)

I smiled apologetically, I saw movement from inside the house, her mother was walking to the back door, an angry expression on her face. I looked back up to Ellie quickly as her mother fumbled with keys, unlocking the backdoor. “Sorry. I just wanted to talk to you,” I said quickly.

Ellie frowned, doing the little cocking the head move and I smiled at how different it was to her mother’s look. “Well why didn’t you just knock, silly?” she asked, laughing.

I did. “Can you come down?” I asked hopefully.

“What on earth do you think you’re doing?” her mother growled as she wrenched the door open, glaring at me.

I opened my mouth to answer but Ellie’s dad walked up behind her, pushing open the door further, smiling at me happily. “Hey, Jamie. How’s it going?” he asked.

I smiled back and nodded, shrugging. It was actually going pretty crappy right now, but I didn’t want to say that to him though. “Good thanks, Michael. I thought you guys were heading out this morning?”

He blew out a big breath and raked his hand through his hair. “Stupid car won’t start. Got someone coming out this afternoon to look at it,” he answered.

Ellie skipped up behind him, smiling broadly at me. I was so confused - why was she still smiling at me like that if she was going to break it off with me? She was still looking at me softly, affectionately.

“Morning! You feeling better?” she chirped, weaving past her parents and walking to my side.

I nodded and gulped. I couldn’t lose her; I didn’t think I would survive losing another girl from my life. She went up on tiptoes to kiss me, but still wasn’t tall enough so I bent my head and pressed my lips to hers for a second. The soft feel of her lips against mine was like torture, I never wanted the kiss to end, but I knew it had to.

She pulled back, stroking my forehead with her fingertips. “Poor baby. Glad you’re feeling better,” she whispered, smiling, her other hand taking mine.

“I need to talk to you,” I said. My eyes flicked back to her mother and I tried not to react at the hateful expression she was shooting me right now.

“Okay, come on in,” Ellie replied, tugging me towards the door. As she turned in her mother’s direction Ruth’s face immediately righted itself to a polite smile like she always put on when someone else was around. “Want a drink?” Ellie offered, heading to the fridge.

I shook my head wondering why she was being so casual about this, was the thought of breaking up with me, really that unimportant that it didn’t even warrant a reaction, a sad smile, anything?

Her parents walked out of the room, Michael patting me on the shoulder affectionately as he smiled at his daughter. Ellie sat down at the counter, pushing a can of soda towards me.

“So, you okay this morning?” I asked, trying to think about how to start or at least prompt her into saying the words I knew were coming.

Her eyes widened slightly before she looked down at her drink, looking a little flustered. “Yeah fine.”

I gulped and sat down next to her, trying not to let the scent of her hair affect me. She always used the most beautiful scented vanilla scented shampoo; I swear the smell of it would kill me one day.

“Paul walk you to the door?” I asked, watching her reactions.

She shifted on her stool, tracing her finger on the edge of her can. Ellie never really was a good liar.

“Umm…. Yep,” she lied, nodding, taking a swig of her drink.

I sighed deeply. “Mark drove you home, right?” I asked, deciding to get it over with - I would much rather this be done quickly, maybe it would be less painful that way.

She gasped, her eyes shooting up to meet mine. “Don’t be angry with Paul. I didn’t give him a choice,” she said, wincing.

I rolled my eyes. Paul was the last of my worries right now. “Okay.”

She frowned, turning in her seat, her knee’s pressing against my thigh casually as she leant closer to me. “You’re angry with me for letting Mark drive me home?” she asked, looking at me apologetically. I didn’t answer; she still hadn’t said anything about kissing him. She sighed and frowned. “I didn’t want to stay at the dance without you so I started walking home. A car started following me,” she said. My muscles tensed up thinking she was going to tell me that Tony Grier or one of his men had laid their hands on her. I looked at her angrily, waiting for her to say the words that would make me kill another person. “I got scared, I was going to call you, I had your number up and everything. But it turned out to be Mark. I didn’t want to walk home after that because I was already frightened, so I let him drive me,” she continued.

It wasn’t Tony? “It was Mark in the car, no one…. hurt you, right?” I asked, eyeing her cautiously.

A frown creased her forehead as she looked at me confused. “No one hurt me,” she confirmed.

“Please don’t be angry with me, Jamie. I know you’re probably annoyed that I left the dance on my own, and that I let Mark drive me.”

My body relaxed. “It’s cool. I knew it would happen eventually. Maybe we could still be friends though? I’d like that, maybe we could hang out occasionally?” I suggested, looking at her hopefully, begging her with my eyes to not cut me out of her life completely.

She frowned, her mouth dropping open in shock. “You’re going to use the Mark thing as an excuse to break it off with me?” she asked, shaking her head. “I didn’t think you were a coward, Jamie. Just man up and say what this is really about, that I’m not good enough and that you want someone prettier or nicer!” she ordered.

I almost choked on air at her words. She thought that I wanted someone prettier? She really was freaking crazy! “Ellie, what?” I asked, dumbstruck.

She groaned and pushed her drink away from her, looking extremely frustrated. “I’d like for us to be friends too. You don’t have to say it, it’s fine, I get it.”

“You think that I’m breaking up with you?” I asked. She nodded as she swiped at her face, wiping a tear away but she looked like she was trying not to show any emotions. This girl needs a CT scan.

“Ellie, you seriously, think that
I’m,”
I pointed to myself to clarify what I was saying, “breaking up…... with
you
?” I asked incredulously, pointing at her.

Her breath seemed to catch in her throat as another tear fell down her face. “Yeah?” she whispered.

I needed to get that CT scan booked quickly, because something must be seriously wrong with this girl for her to even entertain the thought that I would break it off with her. I cupped her face in my hands, wiping another tear away with my thumb as I looked into her watery eyes. “I’m not breaking it off with you. I thought you were dumping me,” I whispered.

She frowned and shook her head, chewing on her bottom lip worriedly. “No.”

I smiled and bent forward, kissing her lips, revelling in how perfectly they felt against mine. Her arms looped around my waist, crushing her body against mine as she kissed me back. I pulled back after a few seconds and put my forehead to hers. Happiness was burning in my veins, my feet itching to do a happy dance in the middle of her kitchen because she wasn’t dumping my worthless ass. I also loved the fact that she looked so upset because she thought I didn’t want to be with her.

“Why on earth would you think that I didn’t want to be with you?” I asked curiously.

She sighed and closed her eyes. “You’ve been distant, quiet, I thought maybe you were just waiting until after the dance so that I wouldn’t have to go on my own,” she replied.

I laughed and stepped impossibly closer to her. “Ellie, I’m so totally crazy about you. I’m hooked; you have me for as long as you want me for. Don’t talk crazy,” I assured her, brushing a loose strand of her hair behind her ear.

A smile twitched at the corners of her mouth. “Corny line,” she teased.

“You love it,” I replied, grinning.

She nodded and pressed against me, her face nuzzling against the side of my neck. I grinned and stroked her back, feeling completely and utterly happy. Then she spoke and my happiness wavered for a second. “Mark kissed me last night when he drove me home,” she whispered, her breath blowing down the side of my neck. “I didn’t kiss him back, I promise. He caught me by surprise and then I told him to leave. Seeing as we’re putting stuff out there I thought I should tell you that,” she said.

I nodded, kissing the side of her head. I decided then and there not to tell her that I already knew that, that her mother had told me. I didn’t want to be the cause of trouble in her life and I knew that if I told Ellie that her mother was stirring and trying to come between us, that there would be a family argument, and I didn’t want that. So instead I took a deep breath and tightened my arms on her. “Thanks for telling me.”

She pulled back to look at me worriedly. “I didn’t kiss him back. I promise I didn’t.”

I nodded and smiled reassuringly, seeing the truth in her eyes. “I know. Don’t worry about it. But if at any point you decide that you’ve had enough of me and want to go back to him, or someone else that makes you happy, then just know that I won’t stand in your way.”

She frowned and shook her head. “I don’t want anyone else, Stud. I’m so totally crazy about you too,” she replied, using my words, smirking at me.

I grinned. “Corny,” I joked.

She laughed her tinkering little laugh and nodded. “My boyfriend is the king of corny, I guess it’s rubbing off on me a little,” she teased. I laughed and pressed my lips against hers, kissing her passionately, trying to convey that I loved her without me actually saying the three little words.

I broke the kiss just as it was getting a little too heavy for her the middle of her parent’s kitchen.

“Stay at mine tonight?” I asked hopefully.

She looked a little confused. “I thought you were out with Callum.”

Another lie I’d told her to cover up for the fact that I was going to be working tonight. Maybe I should tell her the truth; she’d been honest with me about Mark. “While we’re giving out confessions, I should probably tell you that I’m not going out with Callum tonight, I never was.” A hurt look crossed her face that I never wanted to see there again. “I have a second job that I’m starting tonight. I’m gonna be working at a bar,” I continued, omitting a little bit of the truth, she didn’t need to know it was a strip club.

Understanding flashed across her face and her shoulders seemed to relax as I said that. “You are? How come?” she asked, sounding relieved.

“You’re expensive,” I joked, kissing the tip of her nose. She rolled her eyes and slapped me in the stomach playfully. “My rent is a little more than I thought, I just need a second job for a while, that’s all. Everything should be okay after Christmas,” I lied.

“Okay. But if you’re working then how am I supposed to stay at yours? Are you gonna pick me up after or something?” she asked curiously.

I shook my head. “No. Stay at mine while I’m not there. Treat the place like your own, eat all my food, make a mess, and let me come home to you. Please?” I begged. “I’d love to just come home and have you waiting there for me.”

She smiled, a blush creeping across her face, she looked like she liked the idea too. “Okay,” she agreed.

I tightened my arms around her, lifting her off of her feet, spinning in a little circle, making her squeal and grip me tighter as she pressed her lips to mine again. When I set her down, I took her hand, nodding towards the hallway. “Let’s go fix your dad’s car,” I suggested grinning happily.

I spent the afternoon at her place, working on her dad’s car. Her dad was helping, leaning over the engine, watching intently, asking questions as I worked. Ellie just sat on the wall on the edge of her driveway, watching me, making cold drinks every now and again. I felt totally at ease here with both of them. Michael was a great person; he was definitely where ninety-nine percent of Ellie’s personality came from. Even Kelsey, Ellie’s little sister, was playing on the grass, singing along to the radio and passing us tools from the box. I’d never felt so included in anything, I loved it. Ruth didn’t show her face for the whole afternoon and I couldn’t help but be glad about it. That woman didn’t deserve a great family like this one, it was wasted on her.

When it was in full working order, Ellie and I went to buy a new phone for me, then went for dinner after. Once she’d filled her stomach with as much cheesecake as she could eat without being sick, we headed to my place so I could get changed and go to my new ‘job’. She settled herself on my sofa, flicking through the stuff I had recorded for her during the week, the girly crap that she liked to watch at the weekend. When I was ready to go, I leant against the doorframe and just looked at her, laying on the sofa in my apartment, looking completely at home. Silently I wished this was her home, that she lived with me and that I got to wake up with her every morning. I smiled as she laughed at the movie she was watching, ‘Legally Blonde’, she’d seen it probably five times in the last month, yet she still watched it over and over. It was an adorable sight.

I knew I needed to go so I pushed myself off of the doorframe and headed over to her, crouching down next to her head. “So, I’ll see you in a couple of hours. I’ll be home by eleven,” I promised. I wasn’t staying there late tonight, I was just going to show my face and get them organised, then leave. I planned on doing the same thing to all of the clubs over the next few weeks, just show up occasionally and be at the end of the phone.

She smiled and sat up, gripping her hand on the back of my head, guiding my mouth to hers. I moaned as her tongue touched mine, making the hair on my arms prickle. I really didn’t want to walk out the door now! She sighed and pulled back, leaving her eyes closed for a second before they fluttered open and she licked her lip as if she was savouring my taste or something.

“See you later then,” she whispered. “Good luck at your new job.”

I smiled and kissed her forehead. I love you, was right on the tip of my tongue but I swallowed the words, I didn’t think she was ready to hear that yet. “Thanks.”

I left before I wouldn’t be able to, then drove to the club, stopping to talk to Eric that was working the door, telling him not to let anyone that was already drunk in, giving him instructions on what to do if there was trouble. When I walked into the club I immediately wanted to leave. The music was loud and made the floor vibrate, the air was smoky, the place was packed with pervert men who were eyeing the half-naked girls like they were their next meal. I already hated it here.