Fighting to be Free by Kirsty Moseley (8 page)

“It’s that obvious that I look like a dirty tramp, is it?” I asked, giggling.

He grabbed my waist and pulled me to him, “I think you look beautiful. Even more beautiful this morning with no make-up than you did last night, and that’s saying something because last night you took my breath away,” he said kissing me passionately.

Oh my God, this boy is too sweet, corny, but sweet.

I pushed him away laughing, “Again with the corny lines? You’re out of condoms stud, not gonna get you anywhere,” I teased as I slipped his t-shirt on over my skimpy dress.

“Well….. will it get me your phone number?” he asked a little nervously.

“Err Jamie, look you seem like a really nice guy and last night was awesome, but I’ve just got out of a relationship, I’m not really interested in starting anything right now,” I said honestly.

Last night was fun and the best night of my life, but I couldn’t deal with something heavy right now, not after Mark, I mean that started out great too. I just wanted to be on my own for a while, do my own thing without having to worry or ask anyone’s permission before I did something.

“Oh right yeah ok, that’s fine,” he said shyly.

He threw on some clean clothes, “Come on then, I’ll drive you home,” he said quietly, ushering me out of his room. He led me down the road slightly to a beat up old pickup truck. “Sorry, bit pathetic, huh?” he said, looking embarrassed as he opened the passenger door for me, waiting for me to get in.

I noticed that he kept glancing round everywhere. “You looking for something?” I asked confused.

He shook his head and laughed and ran round to his side of the car, he waited until we pulled out before he spoke.

“No, I just stole this truck I was making sure there were no cops around.” He grinned at me wickedly and I felt my heart skip a beat in my chest. I gasped and looked round, oh god, we just stole a car? “Kidding, jeez you think I would steal a piece of crap like this?” he said, laughing his ass off.

I slapped him arm playfully, “Not funny, Jamie! That scared the crap out of me,” I scolded, only half mad, it actually was pretty funny.

“You can’t be a completely innocent girl, I mean, you did go home with a total stranger and have wild sex all night.” He winked at me, grinning cockily.

“Just drive me home, smart ass,” I ordered, smiling.

“Ok, where too?” he asked. I directed him to Stacey’s because that was where I was supposed to be spending the night last night and all my stuff was there.

When we pulled up outside, I smiled nervously. “Well thanks for the lift, Jamie.” I shifted in my seat, unsure what else to say. On my God I felt like a cheap slut, I’ve just had a one night stand. Me, Ellie Pearce.

“No problem, and here…” He handed me a piece of paper. I looked at it, it was a phone number, I looked back at him confused. “I know you said you weren’t looking for anything right now, but I just wanted to give you my number. That way, if you change your mind in a couple of days or a few weeks, you can give me a call,” he said shrugging.

Yeah because a guy like him is still going to be single in a few weeks!

“Jamie, I don’t think I’ll call,” I said uncomfortably.

“Just keep the number and if you ever need anything, I don’t know, a lift in a crappy pickup or something, you can call me.” He leant over and kissed me. I kissed him back hungrily. Oh my God his kissing is out of this world. If I could, I would live right here in this moment and never move.

I pulled away and smiled, “I’d better go. Stacey will be waiting for all the gossip on my night of passion, she’ll want all the gory details, us girls like to share,” I joked, winking at his shocked face.

“You’re gonna go tell your friend about the sex we had last night?” he asked, looking a little worried about it. Wow, he seriously had nothing to worry about in that department!

I climbed out of the truck and looked back at him. “Don’t worry stud, I’ll tell her you were good.” I winked at him as I shut the door.

I heard him laugh as I skipped off to the side of the house, where Stacey would have, hopefully, left her window unlocked for me. Lucky for me Stacy had a ground floor bedroom. Her boyfriend used her window a lot, so he’d moved a boulder there to make it easier, so getting in wasn‘t a problem. I climbed in the window silently. She was still asleep even though it was almost 12 so I climbed in the bed next to her and curled up for another hour of blissful sleep.

I woke to Stacey poking me, “Wake up!” she insisted, jabbing me again.

“Ow Stace, stop poking me, you know how easily I bruise,” I joked, rubbing my arm. She laughed and poked me again until I opened my eyes.

“Soooooo?” she asked excitedly,

I laughed, “So, what?” I asked innocently.

“So that guy was so freaking hot! Was it good? Did you use protection? Where did you go? How did you get home? Are you seeing him again?” she asked sitting up cross-legged on the bed. I sat up and stretched, “Oh you’re wearing his shirt!” she cooed, giving me the
‘that’s so cute’
face.

“Stace, jeez slow down. Ok yes, he was insanely hot, we went to his place, man alive it was incredible, he drove me home and no I’m not seeing him again. Was there anything else?” I asked smiling.

She looked at me proudly, “You had a one night stand! Oh, your first, I am so proud of you, and jeez Louise he was so hot I could climax just thinking about him,” she laughed, fanning her face making me laugh even harder.

“Jeez Louise? I haven’t heard that for years, what are you, like 80?” I joked, making her laugh too.

We decided to go shopping in the afternoon, apparently I was in need to some ‘retail therapy’ to take my mind off of my broken heart. I didn’t mind, I actually wanted to get myself some new jeans. After a quick shower I drove us to the mall, we headed straight for the nearest café for a full fried breakfast because Stacey swore that was the best cure for a hangover.

“Hey, want to catch a movie tonight? You could stay at mine again, you already have your school stuff for tomorrow,” she said, shrugging.

I nodded, stuffing my face with sausage and eggs, “Sure, I need to call my Mom and tell her though.” I grabbed my purse, rummaging through trying to find my cell phone. It wasn’t in there. I checked my jacket, where the hell did I put my phone?

“What’s up?” Stacey asked curiously,

“Can’t find my cell, I must have left it at yours.” I shrugged carrying on eating.

She snapped out her phone and dialled, after a couple of rings her eyes went wide and she smiled wickedly. “Well hi, who’s this?” she asked, smirking at me.

I frowned, who the hell is she talking to?

“Right, no this isn’t Ellie, I’m Stacey. You obviously have Ellie’s cell phone,” she said, trying not to laugh. Someone had my phone? What the hell? “I’m sure she’d love to meet you tonight for dinner to get her phone back, Jamie.” Stacy grinned wickedly at me, I gasped and reached to snatch the phone from her. I didn’t want to go and meet him, I shook my head fiercely and she held up one finger for me to stop. “Absolutely, she’ll meet you there at eight then, ok.” She laughed and shut her phone, chewing on her lip with a satisfied expression on her face. “I just booked you a date with that sexy ass boy! You left your phone at his place.”

I groaned and put my head in my hands, “Stacey, I don’t want to go out on a date, I just broke up with Mark!” I cried, closing my eyes, “Oh come on, it’s a bit of fun, take your mind off of Mark for a bit. You said he was incredible in the sack,” she said waggling her eyebrows at me. Ok well there was no way I could deny that, he was awesome. “You’re going! You’re meeting him outside Alexandra’s at eight for dinner.” Stacey loved to play matchmaker, it was her ultimate passion, to set people up and find them love.

I groaned again, I guess I had to go, I needed my phone. “Fine, whatever,” I snapped, rolling my eyes and continued to stuff my face.

………………………

Stacey made me buy myself a new outfit for the ‘date’, and I was currently sitting in front of her mirror while she did my hair for me, adding some curls and pulling half of it up loosely. I had on a pair of black leggings and a white gypsy top, with a black belt and black shoes.

“You look so hot,” she said, looking me over, “I’d definitely shag you.” She nodded and pursed her lips, making me laugh.

“You’re not my type babe, sorry,” I eased, playing along.

She clicked her tongue, “Damn it!” she joked, grinning at me. “It’s seven thirty, you should go,” she stated, ushering me to the door. “I’ll leave my window unlocked for you to come back to mine. Text me if you’re staying out again, and be safe.”

I rolled my eyes and giggled, “I’m not having sex with him again, Stacey.”

“Just text me if you do, I don’t want to be sitting up waiting for you,” she said firmly. I laughed, she wouldn’t be sitting up waiting for me anyway, her ‘on again, off again’ boyfriend Paul, was coming over tonight. I had no doubt in my mind that she would be thinking of other things that didn’t involve me.

“Ok, see ya.” I grabbed my purse and car keys off of the side, heading to my car. I was actually strangely excited about seeing him again.

~ Jamie ~

I watched her skip off up the garden path in my t-shirt, heading down the side of her friend’s house so she could climb through the window. Crap, maybe I should have gone and helped her or something, what if she can’t get in? I threw the car into reverse and moved back until I was level with the side of the house and was just in time to see her climb through safely. There was some kind of rock or something under the window, either Ellie or her friend had obviously used this entry method before.

I can’t believe I met this incredible girl and she’s not interested. But then again, why the hell would she be interested in me? I’m a loser, I took her to my crappy bedsit and then drove her home in my crappy pickup. Wow, yeah she was really out of my league. What on earth was I thinking, giving her my number? She’ll never call me. In a few years’ time she’ll be married to a rich guy and have everything she ever wanted, and I’ll be distant memory, the poor little waster she bedded once. Oh God, I wanted to be more than that though. I’d never wanted anything more in my life, I wanted to be good enough for her, I wanted her to want me.

I sighed and pulled out, I stopped at the corner store and bought a bunch of daisies and headed to the cemetery. I’d been putting this off all week, but I couldn‘t put it off any longer. I hadn’t been to Sophie’s grave before, I went to her funeral, I was allowed a day release and was escorted there by a police officer. I pulled into the little lot and went into the church yard, looking around helplessly.

Wow, I don’t even know where her grave was, what a pathetic excuse for a brother!

I spotted a grounds keeper, raking the dead leaves from the front of the church, so I cleared my throat. “Excuse me, do you happen to know how I can find out where someone is buried?” I asked. I noticed my voice was a little shaky, I hoped he didn‘t notice. I didn’t like to show emotions.

Emotions were a weakness, something that gave people power over you and I never wanted anyone to have power over me again.

He looked up, wiping the sweat from his brow. “Sure, we have plot numbers and records, let’s go and have a look.” He smiled kindly as he nodded over to the church.

“Thanks, that’d be great.”

I followed him into the church into the back little office. “What’s the name you’re looking for?” he asked, heading over to a file cabinet.

“Sophie Cole,” I said quietly, even saying her name hurt and made me feel so much guilt that my hands were shaking. He rifled through the cabinet and came out with a list a of about a thousand names and ran his finger down it.

“Right, here we are. She’s buried in section C, grave number 258. Want me to show you?” he offered, smiling a little sadly.

“Um…. yeah that’d be great, thanks.” I smiled gratefully. I didn’t want to be wandering around looking for her, I needed to get there and finally pay my respects.

We didn’t speak as I followed him out to the other side of the cemetery, he stopped in front of a little grey headstone. “Here you are. If you need anything, I’ll be around the front,” he said, nodding the way we just came from.

“Yeah thanks,” I mumbled quietly. I waited until he walked off before looking back at the little marble headstone. I placed the flowers down, and didn’t know what to say, she wasn’t here anyway, this wasn’t where her soul was. She knew I was thinking about her and that I was sorry, I thought it often enough but I just needed to come.

“I hope you’re in a better place Soph, and I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice breaking slightly. I felt my eyes start to sting, so I quickly turned on my heel and went back to my truck. I wasn’t ready for this, I thought I was but I wasn’t even close.

I headed back to my place and flopped on the bed and thought of Ellie, memories of last night, running through my mind. She was so beautiful and sweet and funny. I honestly didn’t think I would ever meet anyone like her. I never wanted any girl before, but she just took my breath away. I can’t believe I had sex, seriously mind blowing sex too. I couldn’t help but smile a little proudly, at least she enjoyed herself too. God, I was so nervous I hope it didn’t show, I didn’t want her to know that was my first time. She didn’t flinch away from my scars either like I always thought people would, she really is amazing.

I sighed, I would love to see her again, I was so disappointed when she said I couldn’t have her number, but I guess I can understand her point if she’s just come out of a relationship. She said herself when we were in the back of the cab that it was re-bound sex. There was one thing I didn’t understand though, how on earth would a guy let a girl like that, slip through his fingers? Her ex-boyfriend must be a really stupid asshole not to be begging for another chance.

I shook my head at myself, wow I’m turning into a real pussy getting all worked up about a girl that I’ll never see again. I got up off of my bed and spotted her cell phone on my drawers. Shit, she left her phone here, maybe I should drive it round to her friend’s house and leave it there for her. I had no other way of contacting her to let her know I had it. She probably thought she lost it.