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Authors: Somraj Pokras

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THE VAGINA

PRACTICE:
SOLO VAGINA MASSAGE

This practice is a great way to discover more of the inner details you’ve just read about. If you have a speculum, use it. If not, we suggest you buy one. Women are undoubtedly familiar with this plastic device that gynecologists use for vaginal exams.

Reaching inside the vagina with your fingers may be awkward for extended periods of time. To prevent this from happening, we encourage you to experiment with sex toys like dildos and vibrators at this point.

1.
PREPARATIONS

Begin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a bath, and leaning back against a pile of pillows with your legs spread. Often, pillows under the knees make it more comfortable for extended play. Props you may want to collect are a speculum, mirror, flashlight, lubricant, towels, vibrator, and/or dildo. Use a soft towel or absorbent pad underneath to eliminate any self-consciousness about fluids wetting the bed.

2.
SACRED SPACE

Use whatever actions and props you need to help you make your play space sacred. Carefully choose soothing sensuous music.

3.
BODY

Begin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing yourself. Start at the perimeter and circle towards your vagina from your legs, thighs, face, neck, tummy, and breasts. Take your time and enjoy. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling.

4.
VULVA

Touch your vulva gently and lovingly. As you become more aroused, add whatever lubricant you prefer. Some women prefer clitoral stimulation before vaginal penetration. Do whatever feels best to you.

5.
INNER VIEWING

If you have a speculum, this is a good time to lubricate it and insert it to examine the different surfaces and glands inside. Even if you don’t, you can spread your inner lips and see into the outer third of your vagina. Examine the membranes, and see if you can identify any of the different types of glands.

6.
INSIDE VAGINA

Lick or lubricate a finger and slowly circle it as far as your hand will turn around your vaginal opening in both directions from 12 o’clock (the top side) to 6 o’clock (the bottom side.) Do you feel different sensations at any clock position? Does your finger feel any differences in texture or shape?

7.
DEEPER

With gentle touch, insert your finger another inch, and repeat the circling motions, continuing to feel inside and out. Go deeper an inch at a time as far as you can while discovering the different feelings and sensations. Combine in and out with circling motions as you go deeper inside. Tighten your PC muscle, and feel the pressure on your finger in different positions. If your hand or finger gets too tired, remove it, and shake out the tension before continuing. Whenever you decide the time is right, feel free to switch to using a vibrator or dildo.

8.
TURN-ON

To really learn what’s most sensitive, switch your focus from exploring to pleasure. Use the supreme bliss cornerstones to intensify and spread orgasmic energy throughout your body. Though orgasm isn’t necessary, if you get swept away by a big explosion or really want to end with one, don’t hesitate.

9.
CLOSING

Close your sacred space by doing whatever works for you. Give thanks for the pleasure your body brings you.

PRACTICE:
PARTNER VAGINA MASSAGE

We hope you enjoyed discovering new things that please your vagina while bringing yourself exquisite pleasure. Now that you’ve mapped your own special zones and identified how you prefer to be massaged, you can share these findings with your partner.

Enter into this practice as a way to build intimacy rather than with any strong expectations or goals. Continue the spirit of the Play Doctor Practice earlier in this chapter.

Some notes to the giver: Approach this practice as a sacred trust. This kind of exposure makes a woman highly vulnerable. Tell her what you plan to do before you do it. Get permission for major changes. Maintain eye contact as much as possible, and give reassurance. If you’re not sure of something, ask a question. Feedback and dialogue are great as long as you don’t extend that to distracting side talk. Above all, show your love and respect.

1.
PREPARATIONS

Begin by tidying up, heating your room, taking a bath, and leaning back against a pile of pillows with your legs spread. Often, pillows under your knees make it more comfortable for extended play. Props you may want to collect are a speculum, mirror, flashlight, lubricant, towels, vibrator, and/or dildo. Use a soft towel or absorbent pad underneath to eliminate any self-consciousness about fluids wetting the bed.

2.
SACRED SPACE

Use whatever actions and props you need to help you make your play space sacred. Carefully choose soothing sensuous music. Discuss the Partnering Questions before you begin.

3.
TOUCH

Have your lover begin by slowly touching, caressing, and arousing you. Ask him or her to start at the perimeter and circle toward your vagina from your legs, thighs, face, neck, tummy, and breasts. Take your time and enjoy. Be sure to relax, breathe deeply, and make sounds that express what you’re feeling.

4.
VULVA

Ask your lover to touch your vulva with a gentle loving touch. Giver, try circling around the perimeter and gradually coming closer and closer. Squeeze her outer lips between thumb and forefinger, and gently rub the outer lips together.

5.
INNER VIEWING

If you have a speculum and you’re willing, let your partner view the different surfaces and glands within the vagina. Even if you don’t, you can spread your inner lips to reveal the outer third of the vagina. Ask your partner to examine the membranes and identify any of the different types of glands.

6.
INSIDE VAGINA

Ask your partner to lick or lubricate a finger and slowly circle it as far as their hand will turn around the vagina’s opening in both directions from 12 o’clock (the top side) to 6 o’clock (the bottom side.) Do they feel different sensations at any clock position? Does their finger feel any differences in texture or shape?

7.
DEEPER

With gentle touch, ask your partner to insert a finger another inch and repeat the circling motions, continuing to feel inside and out. Guide your partner to go deeper one inch at a time as far as possible while you both discover the different feelings and sensations. Combine in and out with circling strokes while moving deeper inside. Receiver, tighten your PC muscle so that your partner can feel the pressure on the finger in different positions. If their hand or finger gets too tired, encourage them to remove it, and shake out the tension before continuing. Whenever you decide the time is right, feel free to have them switch to using a vibrator or dildo.

8.
TURN-ON

If you want, you can switch your attention to pleasure and enjoy yourself to the fullest. Guide your partner to continue doing strokes that really turn you on. Use supreme bliss cornerstones to intensify and spread sexual energy throughout your body. Though orgasm isn’t necessary, if you want to end with one, enjoy yourself.

9.
COOL DOWN

When you’re ready to stop, be sure your partner knows to follow your lead. Do you want gradual slowing or to simply hold still? Whatever you prefer, ask your lover not to abruptly break contact. Instead, have him or her cup and hold your vagina with the palm of one hand, while their other hand is on your heart. Look into each other’s eyes, and breathe together.

10.
CLOSING

Close your sacred space by talking about what happened and how it felt.

G-SPOT STANDS FOR GREAT
SO WHERE EXACTLY IS IT?

Just like us, we hope you’ve repeated the previous practices multiple times with great fun, pleasure, and learning. If you have, you’ve most likely discovered the supreme bliss of the G-spot, the erectile tissue inside the vagina under the lining of the belly-side wall. We call this the vagina’s “front” surface since it’s the inner side closest to a lover on top or in front.

But where
exactly
is the G-spot? Because it’s a slang term, that’s a difficult question to answer exactly. First, there are many conflicting teachings about the size of the G-spot. Some say it’s the size of a pea, some say a bean, some say a silver dollar. Actually, the truth is the size depends upon the woman.

And where? Some say it’s 1 to 2 inches inside the vagina or near the urethral opening. Gräfenberg, whom the spot is named after, highlighted the area near the bladder at the top end of the vagina. Others direct you midway between the cervix at the vagina’s end and the pubic bone. There’s some truth in all of these conflicting descriptions.

Much of the confusion and difficulty stems from the fact that this powerful “orgasmic trigger” isn’t one well-defined organ like a male prostate gland or a female ovary.

Some believe the biological purpose of the spongy G-spot is to protect the fragile urinary canal from a hard thrusting penis when it gets engorged. Makes sense, huh?

TAKING AIM AT A MOVING TARGET

The G-spot is under the lining of the vagina’s front wall, and it’s not particularly sensitive or even noticeable without a high level of excitement. Many women report little or no feeling there at first. Some even feel initial discomfort that obviously discourages further play.

As every conscious lover knows, no two women are the same, and no one woman is the same all the time. So, unless you tune in to her unique formula in the moment, you may not feel her G-spot at all.

If all of that doesn’t make it confusing enough, there are four different kinds of female prostates. In 1999, Zaviacic published his scientific findings that illustrated how the distribution of the paraurethral glands and ducts vary from woman to woman.

In most women, he discovered the greatest density of female prostate glands was located near the urethral opening. Here are the percentages of women he found with different kinds of prostates:

% of Women Location of Glands and Ducts

70% Near the urethral opening by the vaginal opening.

15% Near the bladder at the vagina’s top end.

7% Midway back between the vaginal opening and cervix.

8% Minimal glands and ducts.

What this means is that your most erectile G-spot tissue is likely nearer the opening of your vagina. Even so, the deeper little “tail” of the meatus-type female prostate can be highly sensitive.

Of course, the G-spot of 30% of women follows a different pattern. There’s a real chance it could be deeper inside or not very excitable without long dedicated arousal. Additionally, different parts of the urethral sponge can be aroused at different times. That makes it seem as though the G-spot is moving from time to time, even within one lovemaking session.

Visualize a clock superimposed over the opening of the vagina while a woman is lying on her back. We know the G-spot appears most often at the 12 o’clock position. But sometimes, it’s found at 11 o’clock or 1 o’clock. Most sex manuals instruct us to curl a finger upward toward the vagina’s front, and reach around behind the pubic bone to find the area of the urethral sponge that’s particularly excitable. We now know that this doesn’t contact the bulk of the G-spot for most women, although it may make its deep tail feel really good.

If you don’t know which bone we’re talking about, just slide your hand from your belly button down toward your genitals. (This works for men as well.) If you press inward, you’ll feel the soft give of your tummy until somewhere around your pubic hair. When you feel the hard structure near the surface, that’s your pubic bone. From within, you can feel the underside of this floating bone by pressing up toward your belly through the vagina’s front wall.

The good news is that there
is
a surefire way to find the G-spot. Usually, the tissue covering the erect part of the sponge becomes rough and wrinkly like a cat’s tongue. This is the direct result of the urethral sponge becoming engorged with blood. So, search for the corduroy, and you’ll increase your chances of zooming in quickly. Couple that with searching under the vagina’s lining for the little swollen glands that sometimes feel like beans, and you’ve got it!

Just remember not to rest on your laurels. Keep sensing with your fingertips in case it moves.

EXERCISE:
G-SPOT DISCUSSION QUESTIONS