Female Ejaculation (12 page)

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Authors: Somraj Pokras

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PRACTICE:
CONSCIOUS TOUCH
1.
PREPARATIONS
Play soft, sensual music, and light some candles. Discuss the Partnering Questions, and decide who will begin as giver. Receiver, make as much skin available for contact as you’re comfortable. The more nude you are, the better.
Start with whatever it takes to get the receiver’s body relaxed and the mind present. Meditate, breathe together, and just look into each other’s eyes silently. Take the time to settle in.
2.
TOUCH
If you’re the giver, imagine that you’re extending your heart energy down your arm and into your fingertips. Rub your hands together rapidly 25 times to warm and energize them. Very slowly, and we mean very slowly, begin moving your hand over the receiver’s skin. At first, massage about 3/4-inch (2 cm) above the surface. The inside of the arm is a great area for starting this practice. Believe us, both of you will feel something.
3.
RECEIVER BREATHES
At the same time, the receiver reinforces what the giver is doing by using the four cornerstones of supreme bliss:
Belly breaths, deep and slow.
Sound as loud as you can on the exhale.
Movement by tightening and relaxing the PC muscle and moving the pelvis.
Presence through total focus on the sensations you’re experiencing.
4.
CLOSER
Now it’s time for the giver to approach the skin closer. Make it as close as you can without touching, except for a few hairs now and then. Continue very slowly, moving your hand down the arm, continuing to the back or neck. This will probably be more of a powerful learning if you don’t start with the genitals. We already know how sensitive they are!
5.
RECEIVER BREATHES
Now, the giver focuses the mind and lets the energy flow. Touch the receiver now with complete concentration. The receiver should breathe with the giver to energize you both. Slowly, with consciousness, begin stroking the rest of your beloved’s body with this sacred, ecstatic, conscious touch. This is slow, soft, deliberate, and loving with no deep tissue work, no fast pumping, no maximum friction. Follow your beloved’s cues to know where to go and what to do. With the subtlest of touch, see how turned on you can both become. Enjoy!
6.
CLOSING
Bring your light touch to a close. Hug, hold, or lie next to each other. Talk about how the experience was for each of you.
7.
SWITCH
Switch roles right away, or take a little break first for the receiver to assimilate the new sensations.
SENSUAL MASSAGE
After all this soft work, a full sensual massage is a delightful next step. Where conscious touch provides the minimum of stimulation to the receiver, sensual massage adds maximum turn-on. Certainly, you use the two-way energy exchange you just learned, but now, you add lots of variety to the foundation of conscious touch.
Sensual massage is also soft and slow, focusing on long strokes with varying pressures and textures. Don’t ignore any part of the body. Though this isn’t designed to be a hand-job, brushing the genitals occasionally pumps a great deal of excitement into everything else you feel.
Vary the pressure from a light tickle to somewhat firm. Check in with your partner about what feels good, but remember, desires may change in the moment.
Sensual massage is not a therapeutic process designed to work all of the muscles deeply and alleviate body tension in that way. It’s not supposed to be hard unless your partner tells you that deep tissue work creates the greatest turn-on.
We encourage the use of feathers, silk cloth, soft fur, and other items that titillate your skin. Some people enjoy rubbing with terry cloth or a hairbrush to awaken the senses. Others prefer massage with talcum powder or cornstarch for that extra sensuousness. Be sure to do this before you apply any oil, as the pasty combination isn’t particularly appealing.
VARIED TITILLATION
Patting, tapping, and light scratching can be wonderful adjuncts to what we usually think of as massage. We love the butterfly, which is unexpected flitting taps with your fingertips all over the body with no pattern. Two things that turn Somraj on the fastest are scratching in the middle of his back and all over his scalp. Jeffre’s favorite is tapping on her sacrum. Different strokes for different folks, right? In the next section you’ll get lots of new ideas from the
Kama Sutra
.
We like to start at the periphery — hands, feet, and head — and gradually move closer and closer to center. Light, random conscious touch of the genitals is a welcome addition and great teasing for bigger things to come.
After titillating the skin with different textures and motions, ask your partner if he or she wants to continue the sensual massage with oil. If the answer is yes, remember what your goal is: To further awaken the senses and help your partner feel sexual arousal all over without concentrating on the genitals.
Many couples in today’s modern world own a massage table. This can create some truly delightful loveplay. The giver has access to the whole body of the receiver with minimal stress or strain, and most any massage table will support the weight of both of you if you can’t resist climbing on after the massage.
PRACTICE:
SENSUAL MASSAGE
1.
PREPARATIONS
Play soft, sensual music, and light some candles. Get together any props you’ll need, such as oil, feathers, towels, etc. Discuss the Partnering Questions. Decide who will begin as giver and receiver. Receiver, make as much skin available for contact as you’re comfortable. The more nude you are, the better.
Start with whatever it takes to get the receiver’s body relaxed and their mind present. Meditate, breathe together, and just look into each other’s eyes silently. Settle in.
2.
TOUCH
Giver, it’s now time to proceed with slow, subtle, sensuous conscious touch all over the receiver’s body.
3.
RECEIVER BREATHES
At the same time, the receiver reinforces what the giver is doing by using the four cornerstones of supreme bliss:
Belly breaths, deep and slow.
Sound as loud as you can on the exhale.
Movement by tightening and relaxing the PC muscle while moving the pelvis.
Presence through total focus on the sensations you’re experiencing.
4.
RECEIVER BREATHES
Now, the giver stroke the receiver’s entire body more and more sensuously. Vary your strokes, pressure, and speed. Add patting, tapping, and even vibrating. Follow your beloved’s cues.
5.
OIL
If the receiver chooses, warm some massage oil in your hands, and anoint their body, one section at a time. Slip and slide with long strokes for maximum turn-on. Be sure to brush by the genitals now and then.
6.
CLOSING
Bring touch to a close. Hug, hold, or lie next to each other. Feel the receiver’s subtle excitement and energy. Talk about how the experience was for each of you.
7.
SWITCH
Switch roles right away, or take a little break for the receiver to assimilate the new sensations.
KAMA SUTRA EMBRACES
THE INDIAN LOVE GUIDE
The
Kama Sutra
details many preliminaries to sexual union under the heading of “embraces.” From that 2,000-year old text on the sexual arts, we learn how the ancient Indians developed scratching, biting, kissing, and “the giving of blows” into a high art. (They weren’t talking about blow jobs at this point.)
The
Kama Sutra
cautions that people of good taste don’t make these embraces violent. We don’t find it particularly erotic to inflict severe pain and leave marks on your beloved’s body. As we said before, some lovers are so armored against sensation that they need the strongest possible stimulation to get turned on.
In contrast, our emphasis here is to learn to use this wide range of embraces subtly to increase your beloved’s sensitivity. Although not every one of these strokes is going to contribute to your personal delight or even lead you to ejaculation, we want to review some of the best for you to experiment with. You never know which ones will work best for you until you try them.
KAMA SUTRA KISSING
The
Kama Sutra
turned kissing into a glorious art form. It gave instructions about the different varieties from pecking to vibrant to rubbing in different positions and life situations. Try dry and wet, hard and soft, licking and sucking, long and short, nibbling and holding. You have many more options to play with than tongue fencing and deep throating.
Both the body and lips were fair game in the
Kama Sutra.
The Indian love guide describes “the kissing game,” which is alternating the giving and receiving for maximum excitement. This makes it eminently clear that kissing isn’t just for the lips!
KAMA SUTRA LICKING
Licking is juicy fun. Try many of the same variations mentioned in kissing, and try them all over. Some women especially like it very sloppy wet.
Slow
is the key to ecstasy through licking. Stop if you get tired, and keep going if it turns you on. You’ll have your partner moaning and groaning with pleasure, and getting very wet or hard as well.
KAMA SUTRA SUCKING AND SQUEEZING
Remember how you liked getting hickeys when you were a teenager? The edge of pain can be very arousing for many. Beware, though, that you may feel very naughty!
Think also about squeezing, which is something you can do not just with your lips, but with your fingers, your hands, your arms, your legs, and your vagina.
For all its variety of kissing techniques, licking, and sucking all over the body, the
Kama Sutra
wasn’t very big on oral sex with the genitals. If you are, however, by all means, experiment.
KAMA SUTRA BITING
Biting can be light, medium, strong, or anywhere in between. Biting lips can be very erotic. The
Kama Sutra
instructed lovers to bite hard enough to leave marks all around the breast in an even pattern. These souvenirs were considered a mark of true love and an esteemed practice. We don’t advocate this, but whatever floats your cork!
The teeth can be used for scratching as well. Some men even like to have their penis nibbled on. And others, like Somraj, scream bloody murder if you try it. Be careful, and start very gently. Back off if your partner doesn’t like it. Always let the receiver be the guide.
KAMA SUTRA SCRATCHING
The upper class Indians grew all their nails, or sometimes just one or two, extra long. They filed them to a sharp point just for giving pleasure. Be sure to try both long and short strokes with your fingernails.
PRACTICE:
KAMA SUTRA EMBRACES
As we review the various Kama Sutra embraces, you’ll have a chance to experiment to discover what feels good and turns both giver and receiver on the most.
1.
PREPARATIONS
Play soft, sensual music, and light some candles. Get together any props you’ll need: oil, feathers, towels, etc. Discuss the Partnering Questions. Decide who will begin as giver and receiver. Receiver, make as much skin available for contact as you’re comfortable with. The more nude you are, the better.
2.
LIP KISSING
Experiment with kissing each other’s lips and mouths. Be creative. If you get a great idea, try it out, and let your partner try it on you.
3.
BODY KISSING
Extend what you enjoyed on the lips to everywhere on the body. Don’t leave anything out. Relax into and relish the sensations when you’re receiving.
4.
LICKING
Now try licking all the parts you kissed. Use the tip of the tongue, the flat part, and the sides, and try circling your tongue on the receiver’s skin.
5.
SUCKING AND SQUEEZING
For another trip around the world, apply suction and pressure with your lips.
6.
BITING
Experiment with biting by gently applying your teeth in all manner of places on your beloved’s beautiful body. At first, stop short of leaving any marks. If requested, you can gradually use more pressure, being careful not to break the skin.
7.
SCRATCHING
Your hands are dying to get in on the act, we know. Using your nails, test out different strokes, long and short, hard and soft, fast and slow, to discover what the different parts of your beloved’s body prefers.
8.
CLOSING
Bring your play to a close. Hug, hold, or lie next to each other. Feel the receiver’s subtle excitement and energy. Talk about how the experience was for each of you. What did you like giving and receiving the best and the least?
9.
SWITCH
Switch roles right away, or take a little break for the receiver to assimilate the new sensations.
MORE JUICY IDEAS
Don’t worry. We haven’t forgotten about our goal — female ejaculation. In upcoming chapters, you’ll discover many wonderful ways to touch the vagina. But after the
How to Touch Me
practice, you should have a pretty good idea of how your woman likes her vagina approached. If not, try it again, and go deeper.
Because the vagina needs to feel safe before it can relax, the vast majority of women prefer a loving, slow approach. Women open naturally when they feel loved and desired for who they are.
ORAL STIMULATION
As we’ve mentioned, in spite of its detailed pro-sex guidance, the
Kama Sutra
preferred warm-up embraces leading quickly to intercourse rather than lengthy oral sex sessions.
Instead, we urge you to seek out what you like, what gets your motor running, and what makes your juices start flowing. Since arousal is essential to awaken the G-spot, we encourage you to experiment freely with oral sex. The more you play with it and like it, the more uninhibited you’ll find yourself.

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