Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #General, #Fantasy fiction, #Xanth (Imaginary place), #Xanth (Imaginary place) - Fiction
kind." He was sincere; the ogre had truly impressed him.
"No, I am merely an average ogre," Orgy said sadly.
"But thank you for
the compliment."
Forrest stared.
"You're not rhyming!"
"I never did rhyme.
No ogre does.
It is merely your perception that
changed."
"But you still look like an ogre to me."
"But now you see me as an individual, instead of a monster.
You have
achieved respect.
So you are able to hear me as I am."
"I never realized!
Do you mean that all ogres are cultured, instead of
being stupid?"
"That depends entirely on your perception."
"I was afraid you were going to crunch me."
"I was, until you showed that you had discovered respect.
We ogres
crunch only the ignorant." , "This is an education," Forrest said. "I'll
never view ogres the same a am."
"Excellent.
You should have no further fear of us.
But why did you
come here?"
"I need your help.
I'm looking for the dear horn."
"Olio!
You wish to trade services."
"Yes.
Is there anything I can do for you?"
"I'm afraid not.
I am completely satisfied.
I am sorry you came here
for nothing."
Forrest had been afraid of this.
"I came here with two companions. They
remained apart, for fear of getting crunched.
They might be able to
figure out a service that you need.
Then we could trade.
Would it be
all right if they 'sined me here?"
"That depends on their perspective.
If they are ordinary, I'll be
obliged to crunch them.
Protocol., you know."
"Suppose I explain to them about respect?"
"They may not listen.
Most folk are sure they know the nature of
ogres."
"But if I can make them understand?"
"Then they will be welcome to the hospitality of the castle."
"Let me go fetch them.
Maybe we can do each other some good after all."
"As you wish.
Meanwhile, I shall return to my bashing."
As Forrest walked out of the castle, Orgy Ogre waded into the nearest
wall, bashing it into rubble with his two hamfists.
The whole structure
shuddered.
Such was the ogre's ferocity that it was a wonder that any
of the castle remained standing.
Forrest realized that this was the
sound he had heard before, when he stood outside the door.
No wonder it
required the bell-weather to get the ogre's attention.
.
He went out the door, which remained open.
But it swung closed once he
was clear; apparently it was set to let visitors out, but not to let
them in.
So it was a magic door.
He departed the bleak castle
environs, and walked on across the blasted terrain to where the two
inai-es stood.
They looked amazed and relieved to see him.
"You may enter the ogre's den," he said.
"But there is a caution."
"That's a severe understatement," Catliryn said.
"Are you sure t's
safe?"
]t will be safe if you have the right attitude."
Both mares looked at him doubtfully.
"How can attitude save a person
from being crunched by a monster'?" Imbri asked.
"You have to leave your prejudice behind, and have proper respect.
"For an ogre?" Cathryn asked incredulously.
Forrest realized that there was a problem.
"He's really a very cultured
creature.
You just have to see him as such."
The two mares exchanged a Significant Glance.
"I suppose even a stink
horn has its culture," Imbri remarked to no one in particular.
They were locked into their prejudice.
He had to get rid of it, or it
would not be safe for them to enter the ogre's den.
"Remember how you
viewed me, at first?
As just another faun looking for a nymph to
chase?"
They nodded.
"Do you still view me that way?"
"No," Cathryn said.
"You have a lot more character than I originally
supposed."
"So can you appreciate that originally you were operating on prejudice?"
"Nonsense!
Centaurs aren't prejudiced." Then she reconsidered. "But I'm
very young now, so maybe you do have a point."
"So can you appreciate that the ogre may have qualities to be respected,
if you viewed him without prejudice?"
"An ogre?" Then she heard herself, and laughed.
"You wouldn't be
teasing a centaur foal, would you?"
"No.
I am serious.
It is a matter of life or crunching.
The ogre
doesn't crunch those who respect him."
Imbri was havin her own problem.
"Respecting an ogre is an oxymoron, a
contradiction in terms.
They are sheer brutes."
"Then respect his brutishness.
But see him as worthy in his own right."
"Well, I suppose I can make the effort."
"So can I," Cathryn said.
"Even if I do get crunched."
They walked back to the castle.
They came to a stop before the great
door.
"Now remember: he's an individual.
You will know this by his
speech: it doesn't rhyme."
"All ogres speak in stupid rhyming couplets," Cathryn said.
"No.
They are merely heard that way by ignorant outsiders.
If you hear
him rhyming, don't speak, because he'll know you don't respect him.
"This is we'trd," the centaur said.
Forrest picked up the rod and banged the bell-weather.
The fierce
little storm formed, and the commotion summoned the ogre to the door.
This time all three of them were sucked inward by the swoosh of air. The
ogre stood there, as huge and brutish as ever.
"OrGy, these are my friends Mare Imbrium and Cathryn Centaur," Forrest
said.
"Mares, this is Orgy Ogre, master of this castle."
"Hello, Orgy," Imbri said bravely.
"Likewise," Cathryn said, looking as if she were ready to spread her
wings and fly away.
"I am glad to make your acquaintance, fair mares," Orgy said graciously.
Imbri hesitated, then smiled.
"And I yours, ugly ogre," she replied.
But Cathryn kept her mouth shut.
Forrest knew that was trouble. Orgy
stared down at the centaur.
"Please repeat what I just said to you," he
requested.
Cathryn took a step back with each hoof, looking twice as nervous as
before.
"But all he said was-" Forrest began, but stopped when a severe glance
from the ogre cut him off.
He realized that this was a test the centaur
had to pass on her own.
"You said 'Who cares, she mares?"
" she said.
Then, after half a pause, she reconsidered.
"Wait, that
isn't quite it.
You said-you said you were glad to make our
acquaintance, and you called us fair mares."
Forrest breathed a silent sigh of relief.
"Then welcome into my
castle," Orgy said grandly, and led the way down the hall.
"You're- ight," Cathryn inuri-nui-ed as she walked beside Forrest. "He
doesn't- hyme, when I listen with an open- mind."
Forrest noticed thitt one of the w;tils he had thought was in rubhle was
actually solid.
Maybe this was a difl'erent passage, though it seemed
to be the only one available.
They came to a central hall that had some spare furnishings.
"You must
be hungry," Orgy said.
"Come sit at my iliagic table."
Actually the rough-hewn tree-trunk timber table was way too big and hi,h
for any of them.
But the ogre found blocks to put on the seats of the
huge chairs, for Forrest and Imbri, and gently lifted them up so that
they could sit at the level of the table.
Cathryn was able to stand on
her chair so that her head was high enough.
Food appeared.
Steaming pots emerged from a window in the wall at the
end of the table and walked on stout little legs to the center, and a
big cocoa pot arrived similarly.
Plates and utensils slid along 'I they
took their proper places before each person.
Then the pots unti lifted
serving spoons and plopped stew onto each plate, wlille the cocoa pot
siphoned steaming cocoa into each mug.
Orgy dived into his stew with gusto, slurping and splashing.
But then
Forrest reminded himselt- about attitude, and looked again, more
carefully-and saw that the ogre was using a big spoon in the
conventional human manner, and neither slurping nor splashing.
His
prejudice had tried to reassert itself.
They tried their own portions.
Forrest found the substance in his stew
to be almost nut-like, and quite good.
The mares seemed to be enjoying
theirs too.
"If I may inquire," Cathryn said, "what kind of stew is this?"
"Horse dropping stew," Orgy said.
She blinked.
The stew was brown and lumpy.
Then she smiled,
surmounting her prejudice.
"Horse chestnuts," she said.