Faun and Games (19 page)

of equine territory." I There was the sound of hoofs, and two adult

centaurs came into sight. The hide of one was dark, with a spiral

pattern of spots like thickly clustered stars.
 
The other was the

opposite, with a white hide speckled with black dots.
 
Both carried

bows.
 
"Ho, ladies," the dark one called. "Are you aware that you are

near the boundary?"

Forrest saw that the land ahead did change.
 
They had been walking

through a fairly level open forest, the kind that hoofed creatures

preferred, but before them was a tangle of oddities.

"Yes, thank you, Alpha," Cathryn said.
 
"These folk are from Xanth, on a

mission to locate the dear horn, which it seems is in the adjacent

territory." Then she turned to the others.
 
"This is Alpha Centauri,

guardian of the boundary.
 
His name got mangled by a passing galaxy, but

he is nevertheless one of us."

"To be sure," Alpha agreed gruffly.
 
"But this is a bad section to cross

out.
 
The puns have completely overgrown it, and are horrible."

The other centaur spoke.
 
"You are visitors from Xanth proper?

You will be returning there in due course?"

"Yes, within a month," Forrest replied.

"I am Vision Centaur.
 
I would like to exchange a service with you."

"Well, I don't know if we have anything to exchange."

"Surely we do.
 
I have a message I would like you to deliver to certain

parties in Xanth."

"I can do that," Imbri said.
 
"I can visit almost anyone in Xanth, in my

capacity as a day mare."

"In return I offer my service in helping to protect you from an

incipient attack."

"Attack?" Cathryn asked, concerned.

"I'll make that deal," Imbri said.
 
"What is the message?"

"It is for Jenny Elf and Chief Gwendolyn Goblin.
 
It is that if they

will seek out a special type of tick, the gen-e-tic, they can use it to

cause their myopic gene to recede, that is, to become recessive.
 
That

will render their sight normal, so they will no longer need to use

spectacles."

"But this is great news for them!" Imbri said.
 
"They will not be able

to perform a return service for it."

"Creatures of Xanth proper are not necessarily bound by our conventions.

I merely wish them to have the information."

"I will deliver the message to them," Imbri said.

"Thank you.
 
Now I suggest that you make a detour, because your present

course is not wise."

"I don't dare deviate, lest I lose the glow," Imbri said.
 
"I must go

straight ahead."

Cathryn sighed.
 
"Then we shall accompany you.
 
We don't have time for a

gallop poll on the issue.
 
Perhaps my staff will help." In her hands

appeared a long stout pole.
 
"If that is not sufficient, perhaps my

talent will avail."

"You have a magic talent?" Forrest asked, surprised.

"Oh, didn't I mention that?
 
My talent is blankets.
 
They can be very

useful on occasion."

Forrest did not comment.
 
It was interesting that a winged centaur had a

magic talent other than flying, though of course as a might-be she

wasn't limited by the conventions of ordinary creatures of her kind. But

nice as a blanket could be on a cold night, he doubted it would be much

help against horrible puns.

Alpha looked into the sky.
 
"Oh, no!
 
I fear the dragons are staging a

border raid."

"Precisely," Vision said.
 
"I saw them from afar."

Cathryn followed his gaze, alarmed.
 
"I'm too young to use my bow

effectively."

"Then you and your friends had better flee From or To," Alpha

'd.
 
"Vision and I will cover your retreat."

sal Now Forrest heard the beat of a number of heavy wings.
 
"Dragons

raid equine territory?"

"Yes," Alpha said tersely.
 
"They have a taste for equine flesh.
 
Of

course we just dissolve and reform when eaten, but it's an exceedingly

uncomfortable process." He unslung his bow and nocked an arrow. "I will

hold them off.
 
Flee-and stay out of the air."

"How can we outrun flying dragons?" Forrest asked Cathryn.

"It's a matter of moving out of their time range," she explained,

looking worried.
 
"If they are young dragons, we can move From and force

them to become too young to fly well.
 
If they are mature dragons, we

flee To, hoping they will become too old to fly well."

"Unfortunately it is a mixed squadron," Alpha said, squintin, into the

sky as dark shapes appeared.
 
"Some will follow effectively,

regardiess."

"I will make a security blanket," Cathryn decided.

"You are too young to make a really effective one," Alpha warned her.

"I know.
 
But it must do." She gestured, and something spread out from

her hands and floated above them.
 
It slowly settled, covering all of

them except Alpha.
 
Forrest realized that her talent was not preesely

what he had understood.

I will defend the outer perimeter of the blanket," Alpha said, aiming

his first arrow at the first dragon.
 
"Stay low, and perhaps it will

suffice."

" The glow is flickering," Imbri said.
 
"I am going on."

"I recommend against this," Alpha said grimly.
 
"Attila the Pun passed

by here recently, and left a disgusting trail.
 
It is simply not safe. I

sug est that you fly over this section, or run around it, after the

dragons depart.
 
Especially since you are quite young, here, Cathryn,

and your friends look inexperienced."

But linbri was already forging into the pun region.
 
So naturally

FoiTest and Cathryn had to follow.

"This is very bad judgment," Alpha called after them.
 
Forrest was sure

he was correct.

"Well, at least the dragons won't attack us within the pun strip,"

Cathryn said.
 
"They don't like it any better than we do."

Forrest heard the bow twang behind them.
 
Alpha or Vision was firing at

a dragon.
 
Could puns really be worse than dragons?

There was a rustle ahead, and something thumped past them.
 
It looked

like a man, except that it had only one arm-and one leg. Then it turned

its head toward them, and Forrest saw that it had only half a head, with

one eye and half a mouth.
 
"Et ut f y ay!" it screamed in half

syllables.

Cathryn raised her staff.
 
"No, you get out of our way, half brother,"

she retorted.
 
Her threat must have been effective, because the thing

ran away.
 
Forrest saw as it retreated that it was half-reared, too. Now

they passed a sign saying MALL.
 
It was an open section winding through

the tangled puns, with shops along the sides.
 
The central strip was

clear and firm, so they ran along it rather than across it, making

better time.

Then Imbri started pulling at her clothing.
 
Forrest's feet felt

confined.
 
He just had to get them out of the sandals.

"Oh, no," Cathryn exclaimed, ripping off her backpack.
 
"A strip mall! "

Forrest realized that that made sense, in a pun strip.
 
He took off his

sandals and backpack and felt free.
 
Meanwhile Imbri had stripped to

complete nudity, and now looked exactly like a nymph.
 
It wasn't so bad;

they held their things and ran on along the strip.

Another truncated figure ran by, going the opposite direction.
 
This one

was female: a half sister.
 
But while the half brother had been sliced

vertically, so that he had to jump rather than run, this one was halved

across the middle.
 
She had two nice legs, and was topless. Forrest

wondered how the other half of her got along.

But his brief distraction caused him to misstep.
 
Suddenly his foot was

in a fish-shaped blob of jelly.
 
It slid out from under, causing him to

fall on his rear.
 
He saw that Imbri had taken a similar fall.
 
They

were no longer wearing their magic sandals, so their feet could take bad

steps.
 
"We'd better get off the strip and get dressed again," he

called.
 
"We need to run safely."

Imbri agreed.
 
They scrambled off the strip and donned their things. He

was surprised to note that she put her upper clothing on before her

sandals.
 
But of course she wasn't really a nymph, however she might

look; she was a mare.
 
When she was in girl form, she evidently adopted

the conventions of girls, and didn't like to show her whole body.
 
Yet

it was a beautiful body.
 
Human beings had funny attitudes.

But again his distraction caused mischief.
 
Suddenly he was struck a

blow on the foot.
 
He looked, and discovered that he had tried to put on

a sock instead of his sandal.
 
The sock had punched him.
 
Or rather,

socked him.
 
He tossed it away and found his sandal instead.

"We must keep moving," Cathryn said behind him.
 
"We're off the mall

strip, but not out of the comic strip.
 
These abysmal puns will ruin us

if we don't get clear of them soon."

Forrest massaged his struck foot, agreeing.
 
Then he got up and followed