Fallen Angel (17 page)

“She hasn’t told anyone else, trust me. She was just worried about you and needed to get it out of her system so she could be her usual solid self for you. You should have seen her the night you called. She came storming in here like she was ready to kill someone. Took, all three of us to calm her down. Blaise even hid the car keys for the next three days to keep her from taking off and confronting the asshole herself.”

I don’t think that makes me feel any better. “That would have helped me feel less embarrassed about the whole thing. Having my big sister show up threatening to kick the professor’s ass after he got done telling the entire world that I was a sad and pathetic little stalker, too confused to understand the difference between a supportive teacher student relationship and an affair.” I was sad and pathetic. And definitely confused. But I knew the difference. And what we had was not supportive and certainly unlike any other relationship I had with my other teachers.

“Well, that’s kinda why we kept her from going through with it.” He smiles and I actually feel a little better. It’s been a long time since I had a real friend. Growing up was a mishmash of being labeled an outcast, compliments of the hand me down wardrobe and the common knowledge of our mother’s drinking problem for the first half, and then suddenly being everyone’s top candidate for best friend because I had a direct line to Finding Nolan for the second.  Things got so disgustingly phony at one point, I actually craved the days people shunned me with pity and disgust. This, this genuine friendship thing happening here with Hudson, a girl could get used to it.

“Thanks.” I muster a halfhearted grin. “And not just the Eda thing. All of it. Listening. Giving advice. I really appreciate it.”

He nods. “On a scale of one to Hudson and Addy, we’re totally there.”

***

T
his is so fucking stupid. It’s not the stupidest thing I’ve done lately, but it’s definitely up there. And the more I tell myself that it’s not that big of a deal, the more stupid I know I’m being. Because I didn’t just pick tonight by accident. I heard Blaise talking to Brett yesterday about needing to finish early tonight because he had some big plans with Ava. So, I know neither of them will be here. Which I shouldn’t care about if this is no big deal. But I do care. So, obviously, this is really fucking stupid.

Hasn’t stopped me though and here I am, pulling up in their driveway. I shift into park and turn the key. Then I just sit here. Like an idiot. I’m nervous as hell about walking up to that door. And that shit scares me more than anything. I don’t get nervous about women. But Bam Bam. She makes me nervous enough to make me think performing naked in front of several thousand people without the back of Royce’s head there to distract me might be easier than this.

Speaking of Royce, he’s bound to be home. Ever since he and Hudson got together he’s turned into a total homebody, which means I shouldn’t be camping out in my car like a sitting duck, I should be running in and then making a hasty exit before he sees my car and comes over to see what’s up. Or to gloat. Yeah, gloating would definitely be more his speed. I guess that’s something. So far there seem to be just as many people pro my involvement with Addy as there are against it. Derek is definitely against it. But then, Derek’s probably against women period for the foreseeable future.

I
’ve been standing at my window watching Angel sit in his car for the last five minutes. I could go downstairs and open the front door, but I’m not entirely convinced he isn’t about to bail on me, so I think I’ll stay put until he’s clear on whether he’s coming or going.

Finally. The door opens and he gets out. And he literally takes my breath away. Angel looks hot at any given moment. Even in dirty old sweats, as has already been established. Tonight is different. He’s different. Usually he has the sort of style that comes from never giving a fuck. Don’t get me wrong, it works for him, but tonight, he’s definitely giving off the vibe of someone who put some thought into what he’s wearing.

The jeans he’s got on are more fitted than normal, and he’s paired them with a simple white t-shirt and black blazer. It’s not fancy by any stretch of the imagination and yet I suddenly feel completely underdressed in the teal skinny jeans I swiped from Ava, along with the charcoal colored wrap top I saw her rock last time we all went to Rusty’s. I’m wearing scary high heeled pumps which ought to be enough to make any ensemble nightwear appropriate, and still I feel noticeably inadequate knowing I’ll be walking next to him. Although, I’m thinking that issue may be completely unrelated to my outfit after all.

I’m still staring at him through my window when I hear the doorbell ring and realize I could have cut my self-doubt supporting speech in half and already been downstairs to see him. Instead, I’ll get to do the diva thing and make him wait out there. I guess that’s good too. Not my style, but maybe making Angel wait for small things from time to time will make up for not making him wait on the big one.

When I open the door, he’s busy texting someone, an all too satisfied smile on his face. He tries to hide it by quickly shoving his phone into his pocket as soon as he realizes the door is open, and I’m standing here.

“Did you need me to go back inside so you can finish that?” I don’t mean to sound snappy, but I do. Because it’s Angel and I’m an idiot for somehow thinking he would suddenly stop talking to all the Mariskas of the world just because he asked me dinner.

His brow arches and he looks slightly befuddled by my attitude. “No, I think I’m good.”

I don’t even invite him in, I just turn and start walking, leaving the door wide open behind me. “Let me just grab my keys and we can go.”

“Oh, I was actually planning on driving.” He sort of stumbles over his words and I find solace in reminding myself that I have super powers and can screw up his ‘game’. Even if it’s not in the way I was hoping.

“I know. I just figured I’d take my own car. That way you can take off whenever to meet up with whoever it is you have lined up for later tonight and you don’t have to worry about me.” I come back around to face him, but I don’t stop. I’m fully prepared to keep marching straight back through the hall and out the door. Only he blocks my path completely. And Angel’s not a candidate for being run over.

“What are you talking about?” He puts both hands on my hips to stop me and I sincerely wish he hadn’t. I’m not faring well under his touch. It’s turning me to goo. And goo isn’t pretty. It’s also not good at running away from boys who are all wrong for you and destined to break your heart.

“I saw you texting, Angel. You looked pretty excited about something and I’m thinking it’s not the dinner you have planned to celebrate ‘Bam Bam learning the drums’.” I totally mocked him at the end there. I’m not handling this well at all. And I’m going to make sure I handle it even worse later when I go tell Hudson how way off he was.

“You’re right. I was pretty excited. Because just as I walked up to the door I found out that this band from the UK I think you’ll really like, is actually in town tonight. Which means I get to take you to see them. After dinner. Which I’m also pretty excited about.” He tips his head to the side and grins sheepishly. “And it has frighteningly little to do with your ability to play the drums.”

“Well, that seems appropriate.” But he’s smiling from ear to ear, showing off his perfectly white teeth.

“Angel?” Because it’s now or never.

“Yeah?”

“If it’s not about celebrating my awesome musical abilities...why are we going to dinner?”

And he looks nervous again. So nervous I could squeal with delight. But I won’t. At least not until later when I go and tell Hudson all about it. Right after I apologize for wanting to yell at him for something he wasn’t wrong about after all. Holy crap, I’m psychotic. Taking a deep breath. No one will notice.

“Honestly, Bam Bam, I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing here. All I know, is ever since you waited for me back at the house that night I was arrested, I can’t stop thinking about you. And the kinda thoughts I’m having, aren’t the kind your sister or Blaise are likely to approve of, so, if you still wanna do this thing...if you’d like to have dinner with me...we should probably get out of here before someone shows up and stops us. Because they will. Stop us.”

I can hear myself exhale. It’s like a balloon that sprung a leak. But a girl’s gotta let out the feelings I’m feeling right now somewhere. Because this is Angel. And that’s pretty much word for word what I’ve imagined him saying to me someday since I was a kid and first conjured up what I originally believed to be a ridiculous fantasy.

“I definitely want to go to dinner with you.” I’m kind of shocked I got that sentence out. Of course, the more I’m thinking about it, I’m wondering if what I really said is ‘definitely dinner I want you with to go’

Whatever I said just put the sweetest smile on his face and is leading him to move his hand along my arm, down my wrist until it lands in my palm. He’s holding my hand.
Holy shit
.

“Let’s do this then.” And he starts walking toward the door. We’re about to walk out when he stops and turns back. “Seriously though. You’re not going to need these.” And he takes the car keys I’m still clutching tightly in my other hand and places them on the small table along the wall.

“Okay,” I squeak.

Still staring me square in the eyes, he begins to back out of the door, taking me with him. We take several steps this way until he finally turns and faces forward. If he acts this mesmerized by every woman he comes into contact with I can certainly understand his popularity among the female population.

Neither of us says anything as we walk along the driveway to his car. We still don’t speak when he starts it up and moves out to the main road. All I can think about is the fact that he’s still holding my hand. I’m oddly fascinated seeing our fingers twined together. I want to take a picture of it. It’s weird. And I won’t. But I want to.

In a stupid sort of way it, seeing our hands molded together this way makes me feel like I have proof that we belong together. I don’t of course. I have no proof. There is no proof. There’s only the way he makes me feel. The way he’s always made me feel. Even when I was just a kid and I was no one to him. He made me feel seen. When you’re the youngest of five with one permanently intoxicated parent, attention is pretty impossible to come by. Then band practice started. And Angel came into my life and more than anything, I looked forward to the moment I would get to walk into the garage every day and see him. Out of all of them, he was the one who said hi to me every time without fail. He was the one who smiled. And later, took the time to show a lonely, lost girl how to play her first instrument. I spent the years after they left, yearning for someone to make me feel that way again.

But that’s not proof. It’s just the same lonely, lost girl looking forward to more moments of being smiled at. Being seen.

“I’m not freaking you out with all of this, am I?” he asks, his eyes still on the road and his thumb gently caressing my hand.

I clear my throat. It wasn’t ready to produce any sounds just yet. “Why would you think that?”

Then I laugh. And so does he. Because it’s crazy. And of course I’m freaking out.

“If it helps, I’m pretty fucking terrified myself. I mean...it’s you...and me. And this, fuck, I don’t even know what this is.” He shrugs helplessly. I should be scared. Scared of his uncertainty and the words he just said. But I’m not.

“Look, I don’t know what this is either. And I don’t really care. Let’s just go with the flow and whatever happens, happens.”

He glances over at me. “I’m good with that. First things first. Let’s see about getting some food.”

We haven’t been driving long and the car stops already. I look up to see a food truck parked just a few feet away from us.

“Well, this is romantic,” I say dryly.

“Just wait. It will be.” He winks at me as he opens his door and gets out. I’m about to open mine to follow him when I see him rushing around the front of the car to my side. He’s going to open my door for me. I don’t even remember the last guy I went out with who did that. The irony of Angel being one of the selected few still keeping chivalry alive is not lost on me.

“Thanks.” I step out and his hand lands in the small of my back almost instantly as he begins to lead me toward the truck.

“Money is no object. Order whatever you like,” he jokes as we step up to the menu.

I start to read through the items listed and I have to do a double take.

“It’s a mac ‘n cheese truck.”

He grins. “Yep.”

I don’t know whether to slug him or kiss him. “You know, my palette has become slightly more sophisticated since I was little. I do eat things other than pasta doused in cheese sauce these days.” But it’s still my favorite and I’m blushing bright red realizing he remembers as we step up to place our order.

With a big brown paper bag in hand, Angel leads the way back to his car, opening my door to help me in same as before.

“So, where to next?”

He starts up the engine and for a moment he looks slightly uncomfortable. “Look, Bam Bam, I don’t want you to think I’m trying to hide you...except I
am
trying to hide you.”

I nod. “I get it. We can’t go public. No fancy restaurants, no paparazzi. I’m cool with that. I don’t want Eda up my ass about this anymore than you do.”

He frowns. “I hate that it has to be like this. I just don’t know how to swing it any other way.”

“Stop. Seriously. You got me mac and cheese for dinner. It’s already the best date I’ve ever been on.”

He pulls the car back into traffic. “Well, then you’re going to be blown away by what we’re doing next.” His hand slides over my thigh to my hand and he twines his fingers into mine again, leaving me to sit there, staring out the window, grinning like an idiot.