Ever the Same (9 page)

“Bumblebee? Randi?
Can you tell me what color this shirt is?”

“Green.”

“Is it pretty?”

He was being ridiculous, wasn’t he? Why should he care if the shirt he picked out made him look good or not? This wasn’t a date. This was two dudes going out for some food.

“I like the blue one with the white on it. Here. I packed my bag. It’s going to be fun, huh?”

“I hope so.” He had no idea what spending alone time with Audie would be like.

“Daddy! I never got to spend the night before!”

“What? It will be great.” Wow. She never had, now that he thought about it. “And I’ll be there after supper, just to say hi.”

He bet she was scared. He’d been scared, his first night away from home.

“I know.” She took his hand. “The blue-and-white shirt, Daddy. Do you like Audie a lot?”

“Of course I do. He’s a nice man.”

“Oh. He is. Super nice. Did you like your picture?”

“I loved it. It was the best present ever.” He reached for her and hugged her tight. “Thank you, Bumblebee.” She had cut it heart-shaped and made letters with glitter so he could feel them with his fingers.

“You’re welcome, Daddy. I love you.”

“I love you, my gorgeous girl.”

She helped him get a shirt on and then made him stand up so she could inspect him. “You look nice.”

“Do I? How’s my hair?” He would cut it, but the last time he’d suggested that, Randi had been inconsolable.

“Not even a little crooked.”

“Oh good. We should go wait, huh? What time is it?”

“Four five six.” She slipped her hand into his.

“Four minutes until five, then.”

“I have my bag. Your cane is by your hand.”

“Okay.”

“You scared, Daddy?”

“A little. I haven’t gone out to dinner before.” He chewed his bottom lip. “I mean, since the accident.”

“I know. I lit a candle for you.” That was something Ron did. He had candles for everything.

“Is it blown out now, baby?” God, tell him Mom had helped.

“Uh-huh. I promise. No fires. Can we take Honey and Beaker?”

“No. I’ll be home tonight to take care of them.”

“Okay.” She tugged him out on the porch. “Gran said I needed to take Sara a… a Hostess cupcake. Do you think she’ll like a bracelet? I made it on my loom.”

“A hostess gift, and she’ll love it. Handmade gifts are the best.”

“Yay! Where are you taking Mr. Audie?”

“I’ll buy him a beer while we’re out.”

“Ew. Beer is nasty.”

“Yep, but cowboys like beer,” he reminded her.

“Oh, there they are.” She jumped up, and he heard her doing her Audie-and-Grainger dance. It sounded exactly like her Uncle-Dalton’s-home dance and just a touch less frantic than her Sara-is-in-the-truck dance.

“Yay.” He found a grin and then focused on locking the front door. What freaked him out more than anything about tonight was how alone he would be once Audie dropped him off.

He hadn’t spent a night without someone home in more than a decade. Never since the accident, for sure. What if he lost the dogs, or fell or broke something?

“Stop it,” he told himself. He could do this.

“What?”

“Nothing, Bumblebee.” He ruffled her hair, happy when he managed it.

“Hey, man, Randi. Y’all ready?”

“I am!” Randi bounced against him. “I’m so excited.”

“Good deal. Hey, Dixon.”

He wished he could see Audie’s face. He could hear the smile.

“Hey, man.”

“Happy birthday.”

“Thanks.”

“You, uh, want me to help with the steps?” Audie was hesitating, shifting from foot to foot.

He checked the front door, then came to the steps, finding the edge with his cane. “Please.”

“I didn’t want to mess you up if you were gonna come down with Randi.” Audi murmured it while Randi chattered at Grainger.

“I appreciate it, man. For real.”

“No worries. Here we go.” Audie took him down the stairs to the truck.

Randi was talking a million miles a minute, so excited and nervous she couldn’t slow down. Thankfully, Grainger took after his cowboy daddy, and didn’t seem to need to push into the conversation much.

“She’s revved up,” he whispered.

“Nervous, huh? Sara is on a sugar-like high. Grace is gonna kill her.”

“Aww. Hopefully together they’ll, uh….” He trailed off. In no universe ever had two little hyped-up girls interacted in a way where they got calmer.

“They’re still pretty young. They’ll crash eventually.” He could hear Audie shrug.

“That’s the hope, huh?”

“No kidding. I hear Barbie movies are on the horizon.” Audie’s stage whisper cracked him up. “Don’t tell Grainger.”

“Poor kid. We owe him one.” Hell, they were leaving him with two little girls. Dixon thought he might owe Grainger three or four.

“We do. You’ll be amazed at how many shrimp he can eat.”

By now he knew the sound Audie’s truck made right before they turned into the lane at the ranch, the click of the turn signal, the downshift.

Then they stopped at the gate, and Audie hopped out. “Be right back.”

“Did he say Barbie movies?” Grainger asked.

“Maybe. Although I think y’all should watch
Frozen
.”

“That would be okay. I like
Planes.
”

“Yeah? Have you ever been on an airplane, Grainger?”

“No, Mr. Dixon, sir. I want to go to Cheyenne someday, for the rodeo.”

“I’ve been on a plane.” Randi pushed right in. “I flied to Houston and to Disneyland and to go skiing.”

“You flew,” Dixon corrected Randi.

“Right. I flied.”

“Flew.”

“That’s what I said, Daddy.”

Dixon rolled his eyes. Some days she could only process so much. He let it go, then felt the truck dip as Audie hopped back in.

“Daddy, did you know Randi went to Disneyland?”

“No kidding? That’s pretty cool.” Audie pulled through the gate and went to close it before taking up where he left off, the truck bouncing down along the gravel road to the house. “We should go to Six Flags, huh?”

“Oh yeah. Yeah. I’m old enough now, for lots of it.”

“You totally are.” Audie chuckled, the sound warm and low, sliding down Dixon’s spine.

He tried not to worry about that sort of thing—about not being able to go and take Randi places, ever again.

“You okay?” Audie asked while the kids squealed about rides and all.

“Great. Thanks.” He found a smile that didn’t feel totally out of control.

“Cool. We drop them off and run.” They pulled up by the house, the sound of Duke’s bark happy, almost frantic.

Dixon slid out of the truck, Duke coming right up for a scritch. The dog seemed to know that Dixon couldn’t see him, pushing against his hand but never getting underfoot.

“Sara! Sara, I’m here!” Dixon heard her little boots stomp off, then come back. “Love you, Daddy!”

“Love you, Bumblebee.”

She hugged him tight, and he blinked hard, so proud of her for being a happy, regular kid.

“Remember, Daddy. You and me and Mr. Dixon, Red Lobster.”

“I got your back, kiddo. Two weeks or so, okay?” Audie sounded so tickled.

“Yes, sir. I’ll ’member. Two weeks. Shrimps and a guys’ night!”

Okay, that was cute as fuck.

“All right, buddy. You go be good to the ladies. Pizza and breadsticks, Auntie Grace said. She might even get wings.”

“Wings!” He heard Grainger patter off, and they were alone, him and Audie.

“You ready for this, Dixon?”

“I am. I… I don’t get out much. It’s exciting.”

“A little scary?” They headed out, the truck moving smoothly. He never worried about Audie’s driving, not like he did Dalton’s or his mom’s.

“Little bit, sure. I hate the idea of pouring something down my front.”

“I bet. I like your shirt.” Audie sounded as if he was flirting. For real.

“Randi picked it out.”

“She’s a good kid. She’ll call if she needs you, right? Grace and I both want to make sure she knows that’s okay.”

“She has her little phone in her backpack. It only calls me.”

“Good deal.” Audie hummed with the radio for a moment, and not for the first time Dixon cursed not being able to see the man.

“What do you look like?”

“Huh?” Audie turned the radio down. “Well, I’m six feet tall, I weigh about one-sixty, and I have brown hair and blue eyes.”

“You’re skinny, huh?” He grinned. “Do you have tattoos?”

“I have one.” Audie chuckled. “It’s on the inside of my upper arm. It’s a quarter.”

“As in ‘here’s a quarter, call someone who cares’?”

“No. It’s really silly, but when I got into training quarter horses, I got it done. They were the one thing I was really passionate about, but I couldn’t find a horse tattoo that wasn’t cheesy.”

“Ah. That’s clever. I get that.” He grinned. He had full sleeves—one arm was all daytime, the other was night.

“Nothing like your stuff. I mean, damn, you have some good work.”

“I have a lot. Back piece, chest, arms. Weird, because I can’t see them now.”

“I get it. I mean, I can’t really, but I can see how that would be freaky.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it is.” The words made it easier, and he found himself relaxing back.

“Anytime you want to show them off….”

“Are you trying to get me naked, man?” Oh. Oh wait. Bad.

“Don’t be so surprised.” Audie paused for a moment, and Dixon swore he could hear the gears grinding in Audie’s brain. “You’ll tell me if I get too forward, right? I know it hasn’t been long enough since your man passed, but you’re something special.”

“I will. I didn’t realize you were family.”

“No?” Audie chuckled. “My family thinks I got a rainbow letter G emblazoned on my chest.”

“Do you? I have a friend in Austin that does….”

“No shit? That’s cool. You’re the only one who knows, besides my family and my ex.”

“Your secret’s safe with me. I swear.” He wasn’t into outing people.

“Thanks. I don’t worry about me, but Grainger has it rough anyway.” Audie sighed. “His mom, well, she didn’t want anything to do with a baby. I was just lucky she kinda had no idea she was pregnant until she was so far along it was easier to keep Grainger. I would do anything for him.”

“Ah. I’m lucky that Randi was planned. We used turkey basters. We didn’t know until she popped out whose she was.”

“Well, she sure is yours. That hair.”

“God, yes. Honey, Ron’s family was from Ethiopia. There was no question.”

“Oh.” Audie cackled like a big bird. “Lord, I can see why you lived in Austin.” There was no malice there, just wry amusement.

“Yeah. Two queer interracial guys with money and a baby. It’s a thing.”

“I guess so.” Audie’s chuckled trailed off. “Like I said, I’m sorry about your Ron. Randi says he was a good guy.”

“He was. He was a neat man, and I loved him.”

“He was lucky too. I mean, to have you. Not to—you know.”

Dixon cackled. God, poor guy. It sucked to have to try and come on to him and acknowledge the utter suckitude of the past. “He was lucky. He died instantly. No pain. And Randi wasn’t in the car.”

“That’s a blessing, for sure.” The worst part about being blind on a first date was not being able to read Audie’s expressions. “So what kind of music do you like to play the most?”

“Play like listen to or play like on the guitar, because those are two different answers.”

“Both. I meant what do you play for a living, I guess, but I want to know both.”

“I mostly play rhythm and blues. Blues guitar is my first love, but I’ll work with anyone. I like to listen to Muddy Waters, The Black Keys, Santana. Hell, I was named after Willie Dixon. My folks love music.”

“Mine too. Mom is all western swing and hat act country. Dad loves C.W. McCall. Jerry Reed. Trucker music. The Eagles.”

“Oh, the Eagles rock. Have you ever been to Kerrville?”

“The folk festival? No. My dad has, I think.”

“My parents go every year, no matter what.”

“Neat.” Audie turned onto the highway, like the interstate, and Dixon tensed. “You okay?”

“Fine.” Just a little freaked out, no sweat.

“I’ll take it easy, huh? I imagine it’s harder not to see what’s going on.”

“Just ignore me. I’m just a pussy, huh?” The problem was that his optic nerves still worked, he still supposedly saw things.

“No. No, if you need to stop, you say so. I want you to feel safe with me.” Audie touched him, hand on his arm, just a brief thing.

“Thank you.” God, how long had it been, those gentle touches?

“No problem. Seriously.”

The radio and the sound of the wheels were the only sounds for a bit, both of them a little lost in thought, maybe.

“So, tell me about you? I mean, you’re a horse guy, obviously.”

“I do a lot of training. That’s mainly why I run cattle, so I can train cutting and herding horses. I board some too.”

“That’s cool. Randi thinks you’re a magical creature.” There was the understatement of the century. Between Sara and Audie, Randi was a huge Barrack family fan.

“She’s horse crazy. She’s a good rider, though. Pays attention. Grainger thinks you’re the one who hung the moon.”

“I’m just another musician. He’s got talent, though, I can tell.”

“Thanks. I’m so proud of him, and really grateful to you for teaching him.”

“Mutual admiration society.”

Audie hooted. “Yeah. Okay, I’m fixing to turn off, huh? Wanted to let you know.”

“Thanks. I only saw pictures of the place before the accident; I’d never explored the area.” They’d intended to come up and see what excitement they could find in Dallas while the grandparents did their babysitting thing, sure, but life kept happening.

“Yeah? That sucks, man. Not to even know where you are, really? I mean, I knew you didn’t grow up here.”

“Nope. Mom and Dad retired up here, got a great deal on the land.”

“Yeah.” They pulled off on a less busy road, his ears noticing slower wind, fewer cars.

“Are we in Rockwall now? Rowlett?”

“Rockwall. Traffic is not bad. Makes me wonder if they all know something I don’t.”

“Everyone is heading to Dallas?” How the hell would he know?