Ever the Same (6 page)

“There are three steps, a little steeper than inside house steps.”

“Okay.” He fumbled the first one, but the other two he got.

“There you go. You want to sit out on the porch or inside in the cool? Gracie wants to sit out here and watch us, so you’d have company.”

“Oh, outside is fine. I just appreciate the invite.”

“No problem.”

“Randi!” The patter of booted feet rang loud on the boards of the porch. “We get to ride! Unca Audie said so.”

“I know! I know!” Both girls squealed, jumping up and down.

Oh Lord. He hoped Audie had help. Or something.

“Grainger, why don’t you tell Auntie Grace to bring some lemonade and some of that bread? Did you want a Coke or coffee instead, Dixon?”

“Whatever’s good. I’m easy.” He didn’t want to be trouble.

“Get a Coke too, buddy.”

“Yessir.” Grainger left them, and Audie guided him to a surprisingly comfy chair.

“There you go, man. If you need anything, you ask, okay? Don’t stand on ceremony.”

“Will I bother anyone if I play later?”

“Not a bit.” Audie left him a moment, then came back with his guitar case. “Right here on the right. Look out, incoming border collie.”

The warning came at the same time as the cold nose pushing into his hand.

“Hey there. How are you?” Oh—soft, silky.

“Duke is a flirt, huh, Sara?”

“He licks a lot.”

“Some puppies do.” Dixon smiled, hoping he got close to right.

“Hi, there.” A new voice reached him, female, adult. He heard the clink of glassware. “I’m Grace.”

“Hey. Nice to meet you.”

“You too.”

He guessed. These days he hated meeting people, not being able to put a face to a name.

“I’m Audie’s older sister. I really appreciate you letting Randi come over. All I’ve heard for weeks is, ‘my good friend Randi.’”

“I know.” Dixon chuckled. “I’ve heard ‘Sara, Sara, Sara.’”

“I have to tell you, Dixon, I am so tickled. Her daddy’s overseas, and this move has been brutal. I didn’t think she was ever going to smile again.”

Something deep inside him settled a bit. Randi was laughing, running in circles, he thought. “It’s been tough on my girl too.”

“Yeah. I can only imagine. Life can totally suck.”

The words surprised him, made him bark out laughter. “It totally can. Your brother….”

“Audie? You can talk trash. He’s down in the yard.”

“Is he good with horses? Randi has never been around them.”

“He’s the best. I trust him with my Sara.” There wasn’t any doubt. Not even an ounce.

“Okay. Good. I’m sorry, I just—I can’t see to keep her safe, you know?”

“Yeah. I mean, no. I don’t know, but I can imagine and I get it.” She laughed, the sound merry. “In other words, I’m a dork and she’s in good hands.”

“That’s fine. Fine. Is that lemonade?”

“I brought Coke and Dr Pepper too.”

“Dr Pepper, please, if Randi can’t see. She’s on a no-Coke rule from her therapist.”

“Sugar and caffeine, huh?” He heard a pop-top open, and Grace came to press it into his hand. “You pick good?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I do. That’s what I did for a living before.” It was one of the few things that was still right.

“Oh, I love to listen, if you want to play.”

“Me too.” The smaller voice surprised him, Grainger right there, quiet as a mouse. “I like to sing too.”

“You have a nice voice already, Son. Really.” He finished his Coke and put it down. “You have a favorite song?”

“I like ‘On the Road Again’ by Mr. Willie Nelson.”

“‘On the Road Again’ it is.” Thank God he knew that one. It would totally blow his reputation if he didn’t. He played Willie, then a little Hank, some Peter, Paul and Mary.

“Do you know ‘Seven Bridges Road’?” This kid was a pro at the ripe old age of six. Lord help him.

“I do. You ready?” He started picking, and they sang it together, and the kid knew almost all the words. There were a few missteps, some hilarious, but damn, it almost made him believe he could teach this kid to play.

Almost.

“Daddy? Daddy, I rode a horse! I rode a real live horse!”

“Oh wow. Did you? I’m so proud.” Dixon set the guitar back down in the case and caught Randi when she flew into his arms.

“Mama, can me and Randi go play Barbies now? Please?” God, Sara had to be teeny.

“Sure, baby. Keep an ear out, though. If Mr. White needs to go, Randi will have to be ready.”

“He can’t go! We’re pick-in-nick-ing!”

“Don’t worry, ladies, I intend to stay for lunch.” He tried sending a smile their way.

“Yay! Come play!”

They sounded like a thundering herd, those two tiny girl babies. His smile widened, and Dixon shook his head. They were acting like kids, which made him happy. Made him miss Ron so bad.

“Hey.” Audie clomped up on the porch. “Pour me a Coke, Sister?”

“Yes, sir. Did you see how your boy was paying attention?”

“I did. Your girl is a natural, Dixon. She had a good seat, keeps her heels down.”

“Excellent.” Hopefully that was the right answer, because honestly, she kept her heels down where? He was a kid from the outskirts of Austin, child of a hippie musician wannabe and a social worker who worked for the state. He only saw horses on the road and at the Star of Texas rodeo.

“Did you want to come meet the horse she’s gonna be practicing on?” Audie was a dad. He seemed to get that Dixon was a little wigged out.

Okay, which was the best way to play this? Say no, don’t step in horse poop, and avoid a possible unnecessary chomping from Black Beauty, but prove without a shadow of a doubt that he was the least macho person here, including the Barbies? Or suck it up, be thankful he had sneakers on, and pray that he only stepped in manure and didn’t fall in it?

“Sure.”

“Cool. Come on.” Audie sounded so pleased that he knew he’d made the right decision.

He stood and Audie took his hand. “I… It’s easier if I take your arm.”

“Oh, okay. Do you want your cane too?” Audie shifted, letting him slide his hand through the crook of Audie’s elbow.

“No. I’ll just get it muddy.” It was best for different surfaces anyway. Mud and dirt were already so fucked.

“Got it. The ground gets a little uneven once we get off the little patch of grass.” Audie moved slow, steady, but not a bit tentative.

“I appreciate you letting Randi ride. She’s horse crazy, and her granny won’t let her have one.”

“No worries. Horses can be pricey to keep, and God knows Sarge was just getting fat and lazy. He’s too old to really work anymore, but he loves the kids.”

The air changed, the sun dimming again, so they must have stepped into an outbuilding.

“He’s cooling off in here. I walked him out, but he’ll go to the tank and drink himself into bloat if I don’t put him in a stall for a bit.”

“Sarge, huh? That’s a good name. Puts me in mind of Ernest Borgnine.”

“He’s a big dapple gray and used to boss the others around. Thankfully he’s mellow now. Sarge. Come on, boy.”

They stopped, and he heard stamping, the swish of a long tail.

Dixon wasn’t sure what to do, really. He stood there, smelling molasses and straw and dust. The earthy scent of horse mixed in, and the impression of a large body close by almost made him back up a step.

“Here. Here’s a carrot. Hold out your hand, palm up.” When he did, Audie dropped a cold piece of vegetable on his skin. “Keep your fingers flat.”

The touch of that velvet nose on him was wild, totally new and different. “Oh wow.”

“Yeah. He’s gentle. Not like a couple of biters I have.”

Large, blunt teeth pressed but not with any intention to harm, only to nip up the carrot. The lips made him chuckle, as did the crunch of the chewing. Suddenly he could smell the carrot, that scent unmistakable and bringing up visions of stew, weirdly enough.

“Attaboy.” He heard Audie pat the horse, then the scratching of nails on wiry hair.

“He’s—” What the hell was he supposed to say? He’s stinky? Pretty? He didn’t know that. Sarge could be the ugliest fucking horse known to man, and Dixon wouldn’t have a clue. “—soft.”

“He is until you get up next to his mane.” Audie guided his hand up under the thick fall of mane hair, where a hard ridge rose up, bristly as hell.

“Oh man. That’s where the horsehair brush thought comes from, huh?”

“Yeah. They’re tougher than you think, these beasts.”

“Do they like being ridden?”

“I think they like having a job. They’re too smart to be left to their own devices.” Audie paused. “Does your dad like llamas?”

“He loves them. He totally adores the fuzzy beasts.”

“They kick a lot less than cows. I know some yarn ladies who might want to talk to him.”

“Dad would get off on that. Seriously. He’s retired and he loves working with them.”

“Cool. You know, if you want to ride, I’d be happy to lead. I had a friend who did horseback guiding, and he could give me all sorts of training.” Audie seemed genuine about the offer too, no hint of telltale pity in his voice.

“Maybe. Maybe I could.” Oh, who was he kidding? He was a fucking coward, and what was he going to do on a horse? Look around?

“It’s great for balance, and it’s good interactive exercise.” Audie let it drop. “Come and meet Grainger’s baby.”

“How big is he? Old, I mean.”

“About a year. Grainger has been feeding and watering and grooming.”

“A real cowboy, your little boy.”

“He is.” Audie chuckled. “He really wants to be a singer, though.”

“He’s good. I… if you want, I can try to teach him. I mean, I don’t know if it’ll work, but I’ll try.”

“I’d appreciate it. The one lady who gives lessons is never gonna teach my kid, and I’m sure there are other people by now, but I don’t know them.”

Wouldn’t teach Grainger? Why? Old girlfriend, maybe? Oh, maybe Grainger was a demon in disguise….

“You’re frowning.” Audie touched the line between Dixon’s eyes. “Mrs. Backer won’t teach Grainger because I pissed in her flowerbed after she said my sister Patsy was a tone-deaf idiot with fingers like hot dogs. She teaches piano too.”

The touch shocked him, relaxed his face. “Oh man. I love it.”

“Yeah, well, she didn’t.” Audie stayed close, that Old Spice smell mixed now with leather and sweat.

“No. No, even in Austin, that would get your ass reamed.”

“I guess so. Anyway, if you’re willing to try, I’d trade riding lessons for Randi. Not that I wouldn’t teach her anyway.”

“I’ll trade. That’s fair. I mean, if it doesn’t work, I’ll pay whatever your normal rates are.” He had money. Enough for this, no worries.

“Hey, we’ll cross that bridge if we have to. I might trade for llama training if Grainger loses interest before Randi does.” Audie clapped him gently on the shoulder, as if the man realized it might startle him.

“Cool.” Llama training. He wasn’t positive, but he was fairly sure they weren’t trainable.

“Yeah. I mean, cows are getting pretty damned expensive to raise.”

Oh. His cheeks heated. Well, he hadn’t said it out loud, at least. Audie meant training on how to raise llamas. Duh.

“You look all flushed, man.”

“Do I?” No shit.

“Yeah. You want to go sit inside? The air is on.” Audie took his hand again, tucking it in the crook of one strong arm.

“Wherever. The porch is totally fine. I hear rumors that there’s a picnic.”

“Grace should be ready to serve pretty soon. Grainger has to be helping or he’d be out here.” Audie chuckled softly. “He’s being supergood. I wonder what he could possibly want?”

Dixon smiled, feeling pretty good about being that important to a six-year-old.

“Daddy! Daddy, I didn’t touch Mr. Dixon’s guitar.”

“Good. You’ll get your own when you start lessons. His is off-limits.” Audie helped him back up the stairs. He smelled brisket, beans. Corn.

“No, sir. I mean, yes, sir, I mean. Daddy? For real?”

“Mr. Dixon says he’s willing to try. You have to be patient and listen, okay?”

“I swear to God. I promise. Oh, Mr. Dixon….” Thin arms wrapped around him, squeezed him tight.

Dixon froze for a moment, but then he hugged the kid back. He remembered that, the desperate, hungry need for the music, the agonizing wait to figure out how to make it happen. “We’ll set something up. First we need to get you a guitar.”

“Daddy!”

Audie made a noise, half-laughter, half-groan. “You gotta be patient, bud. Mr. Dixon will tell us what we need to get, and I’ll get it, okay?”

“For now, we’re gonna eat.” Grace came out, the clatter of a bowl on a table sounding. “Girls! Picnic time.”

The thundering herd came through, feet slamming into the ground. The squeals and sounds of jostling stopped as soon as the girls reached the porch.

“Daddy, Sara has a Barbie house. A whole house.”

“Wow. A whole house.”

“Yeah. It’s pink, and it has closets for her clothes, and a horse!”

“Very cool.”

“I’m gonna get a guitar!” Grainger busted out. “My own guitar.”

“Ooh.” The girls both oohed and aahed. Of course, Dixon knew he’d end up getting Barbie something new at their house this week. He’d make Dalton take them to the store.

Maybe they could just order off Amazon….

Though Dalton picking out Barbie stuff would have a hilarity factor he might not want to miss.

“You have a naughty look on your face, Daddy.”

“Me? No. Not me.” He was going to have to work on that….

“I like it,” Audie said, almost too low to hear.

His cheeks went red, but he had to grin. Even if that wasn’t meant “that way,” it felt good to hear.

“How do you want me to load up your plate, Dixon?” Audie asked. “We got brisket and beans, cornbread, coleslaw, and potato salad.”

“The brisket is slices?”

“It is. Like from a barbecue place. Grace worked at Ernie’s in high school.”

“It all sounds great, thanks.”

“Mr. Audie? Daddy needs a table. He cain’t eat good without it.”

“Oh, you got it.” Audie put a hand on his shoulder. “Will a TV tray work, man, or do you need something bigger?”

“A TV tray is fine. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be trouble.” God, Randi. Really?