Enlightened (Red Flags) (3 page)

"Cara, is that why you made this drastic move with your hair?" Chelsea asked eyeing me intently.

"Not completely, but partially.  I needed something new and yes, it did help shed a part of Jason."

Chelsea didn't respond.  She simply dug into the salad that had been placed in front of her.  Mila didn't seem to want to end the topic of conversation, and I knew it was because through everything, she had forged a friendship with Jason.  Even though we had been friends much longer, she felt like she needed to go to bat for him. 

"Pinks, just hear me out.  I know everything you heard really shook you.  Hell, it would shake me too.  But, I know Jason loves you.  Give yourself some time to simmer down and then face him."

"Um, how about fuck no?" Chelsea shouted. "Mila you might be friends with him, but Cara has been through enough."

"Look, he's texted me since all of this shit went down.  I'm telling you this because I know that you love him, Pinks.  He is truly heartbroken and missing you and the fact that you won't return his text or calls is killing him."

I looked at Mila's sympathetic eyes, but couldn't allow myself to feel the same amount of longing that she was feeling.  She was not the one who had her heart ripped to shreds in one of the most embarrassing situations known to man.

"Look.  I understand he's hurting, but he brought it on himself.  Does he know how much
I'm
hurting?  How he could have spared me from that?  That's where the focus should be."  My anger was starting to resurface and my retort came across as snippy and bitchy, which was completely unintentional, but I wasn't going to sit up and listen to the Jason pity party when I was hurting just as badly. Probably worse. 

Chelsea chewed on her salad and smiled.  "There you are, tiger.  I was wondering when it was going to come out."  She laughed 

"Shut up, Chels," I said, trying hard to stifle the laugh desperately trying to creep out of me. "Besides, there are too many fish in the sea."

"Like Chase?" Chelsea blurted out, her eyebrows raising in a faux seductive manner.

"Ok, now I have to call a fuck no," Mila chimed in, throwing her hands up in an overly dramatic fashion.  "You're not dating him, are you?"

I couldn't do anything, but laugh.  These two, who were quite content and happy in their relationships with Hunter and Ryan, were trying ridiculously hard to get me to join their party.  The only problem was, I didn't want what either of them was offering.

"No, I am not dating Chase.  He's a friend, a good friend." 

"Thank God.  The thought of having Chase for a brother in law would be like falling face first into concrete," Mila said, her face scrunched and full of disgust.

"Brother in law?  Something you aren't telling us Mila?" Chelsea asked, her eyes wide, and I immediately reciprocated.

"Noooo…" Mila crooned, and laughed wildly. "But I see us headed in that direction-- and I'm thinking long term.  I don't want to have to spend all of my beautiful holidays with Chase."

I shook my head at her and Chelsea followed suit.  Mila was still going strong with Ryan and Chelsea and Hunter were still the epitome of opposites attracting.  A little over a week ago, I thought I was happy like the two of them were.  Unfortunately, because I was stupidly dating the world's biggest asshole, I was now alone and heartbroken.

"Well, Mila, I am not dating Chase, but it's nice to just have a normal guy to hang out with.  I'm not flooded with secrets and jealousy."

Chelsea nodded her head in an obvious show of approval.  Our light and friendly lunch conversation had turned into a Jason fest, which normally would have made me lose my appetite, but instead, it fueled my hunger. I chomped on my salad, finishing it in record time.

"We better hurry up.  Hunter is coming to the condo to pick me up for a dinner date, and I need to get ready," Chelsea said, trying to change the subject and hurry us along.

"Yeah, Chase is coming over to see the condo, so we need to get going," I added, then sipped the last of my lemon water.

"Ugh," Mila groaned, but didn't add anything further.

I took the opportunity to set my newfound boundaries.  I didn't want to stay on the path of Cara the doormat.  With a fresh outlook on my life, I figured putting my friends in their respective places was something that had to be done.

"Look, I love you both, but I don't need either of you telling me who I should or shouldn't be with.  It's hard enough with the millions of thoughts swirling around in my head, but when you guys toss your two cents into the ring, it makes things worse--" Chelsea was ready to jump in, but I held up my finger to silence her, "Jason, Chase, or dream man down the line--
I
am going to have to figure things out for
myself
."

"We're just looking out for you," Chelsea hurriedly said.

"I know.  But trust me, experience is the best teacher."

"So hooking you up is off limits?" Mila asked with a pouty face.  "Because even if you won't go back to Jason, you can't expect us to not try and set you up.  That's just cruel."

I just laughed.  What else could I say to her?  Mila and Chelsea, for all of the love that they provided, were still ridiculously overbearing and opinionated. 

We paid the bill and made our way back to the parking lot.  I gave Mila a warm hug and told her to give it to Ryan, since she was on her way up to North County to spend some time with him.  Chelsea and I hopped into her car and took off in the opposite direction.   

"I know you want guy space, Cara, but seriously, do you feel anything for Chase?"  Chelsea asked, obviously unable to leave the guy conversation alone.

"Chels, I just had my heart ripped into a million pieces a week ago, I don't even want to
think
about a guy right now."

"Understandable.  I just hope when you recover from all of this, Chase is still around.  He is a great catch Cara."

"Chase has his issues too.  Just like every other guy.  We know first-hand," I reminded her. I looked out into the side mirror, still admiring the new me.

"Yeah, but he has been a rock for you.  Sometimes you just have to start slow and work your way up."

I gave her an irritated look, and she smiled guiltily.  For all of the words in the world, Chelsea was not one to adhere to boundaries that she felt didn't apply to her.  Part of keeping my sanity would be working overtime to avoid her suggestions and prodding, and to make myself heard in her overbearing presence.  I loved her, but she needed to back off.  If it came down to it, I'd have to out a side of me that Chelsea wasn't used to seeing, and I definitely didn't want to do that.

Chapter 3

We rushed home so Chelsea could spend
hours
getting herself ready for her date.  The dinner date she was going on was to celebrate the anniversary of her first date with Hunter.  Although Chelsea and Hunter had been dating for the past four years, they never overlooked the small things.  Date nights were just as important to them now as they were when they first met.  That was probably a good reason why their relationship was so alive.  They took the time to invest in one another and didn't allow complacency to be a factor.

After showering, powdering, primping, and curling, Chelsea looked like a million bucks.  She was in a strapless silver dress that stopped just above the knee, and silver wedges to match.  Her long, sandy colored hair was down and curled, and her make-up was flawless.  She looked like a San Diego sophisticate with her smoky eyes and pale pink lips.

"You look great, Chels," I told her, but felt great just wasn't a strong enough word.

"Thanks, Cara.  Can you hand me that silver necklace with the black pearl hanging on my jewelry rack?"

I handed her the necklace.  I couldn't recall ever seeing her wear it. "Is this a new piece?"  I asked, handing it over to her.

"No.  Hunter gave me this on our first anniversary, so I wear it every anniversary."

"It's beautiful," I chimed in, watching her put it on to complete her ensemble.

"Thanks, doll."

The doorbell chimed and Chelsea's eyes grew large.

"Damn.  Get that, Cara, I'm not ready yet," she said, and quickly ran into her bathroom to do who knows what.

"You look ready to me," I threw in, laughing at her in the process. 

"Well, I'm not.  Just tell Hunter I'll be ready in a few minutes."

I shook my head, but made my way downstairs to open the door.  I thought it was cute that after four years, she still acted like it was her first date with Hunter.  He had seen her at her worst, and yet, she still felt compelled to look like a super model to go out for a celebratory night with him.

Opening the door, I saw Hunter and Chase standing together.  Hunter looked impeccable with his blond hair, freshly cut, and wearing what I believed to be a designer label suit.  They both looked at me in awe, and Hunter gave me a hug and walked in. Chase also gave me a tight hug and lightly kissed my forehead before backing me up and looking into my eyes.

"Are you the same Cara Pinkston?" he asked, a wicked smile spreading across his face. There was a twinkle in his eyes.  He stood mesmerized, unable to take his eyes off of me.

"It's me.  Come on in," I replied, turning so that my hair moved briskly.

I walked the guys into the living room and offered them a drink.  They politely declined and took a seat on the couch, making small talk while they watched TV.

"That's quite a change, Cara.  Looks great on you."

"Thanks, Hunter.  I have to thank your overbearing girlfriend for dragging me to the salon."

"It’s a great fit.  Nice and fresh, I love it on you," Chase said, still staring in amazement.

"Thanks, friend.  I happen to like it too."  I purposely threw in the word
friend
so that Chase would be aware that we were still in the friend zone.

A few minutes later, Chelsea finally strolled down the stairs, looking just as beautiful as she had when I'd left her.  Hunter stood, pulled out a bouquet of flowers, and handed them to Chelsea. 
How had I missed those
?  He walked over and kissed her deeply.  After a few jealous seconds brewed inside of me, I strolled over and took the flowers from her.  I walked into the kitchen to place them into a vase.  By the time I returned, they had pulled away from one another and were talking to Chase.

"We'll be at Chateau for dinner, so if you need me, fuck off," Chelsea joked.  She laughed as she patted Hunter's shoulder.  I laughed just because it was typical Chelsea humor--nice and crude.  "What are you two doing tonight?"  Chelsea asked, her voice full of innuendo.  Chase laughed, but I interjected to get her to shut up and leave.

"Chase is getting a tour of the place, then we are going to get our hands dirty in some greasy Gino's pizza.  Making you jealous yet?" I asked. 

Chase and Hunter laughed, as Hunter grabbed Chelsea by the hand and led her to the front door. 

"Have a good time you two," I called after them and heard the door close.   

"So, you've seen the living room.  Come take a look at our kick ass kitchen," Chase's face looked equally as impressed as the first time I'd seen it.  We left the kitchen and made our way upstairs.  I made sure to point out all of the paintings and décor that Chelsea had picked up at jaw dropping prices.  He laughed and remarked that he wouldn't have expected anything less. I showed him my bedroom and on-suite bathroom, since the condo housed two master bedrooms. 

"Quite an upgrade, huh?" he joked, referring to the living arrangements we had in our on-campus apartment. 

"You think?  This is what happens when you unleash Chelsea Peters to find you a home," I laughed.  "Call Gino's and order a double pepperoni, extra sauce, deep dish, please?" Chase mocked surprise, but took out his cell phone and ordered the pizza as I marched us back downstairs to the living room.   

Forty minutes later we were watching
Terminator
and stuffing our faces with some of the best pizza in all of San Diego.  Hanging out with Chase was always easy and I was thankful for his friendship.  I noticed that he kept looking over at me and smiling, but it wasn't that same awestruck smile he had first given me when he'd seen my new hair makeover.  Rather than allow the silence to fester between us, I finally made him spill it.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" I asked, coming across blunt and leaving no room for loop holes.

"I just think you look great, that's all," he replied, but I could tell there was more that he wanted to say. 

I put my pizza down on my plate and wiped my mouth with my napkin.  I looked at Chase with eyes full of suspicion, although I had an idea what was running through his mind.

"Chase, I don't need, nor do I want, your pity," I spouted.

"What are you talking about?  I'm not giving you any pity."  I eyed him accusingly, and he relented a bit.  "Okay, I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"Why are you worried about me?  I'm a big girl.  I got knocked down, and I'm getting back up.  Nothing to worry about."  I didn't want to be the charity case amongst all of my friends.  It wasn't a spot that I wanted to occupy, and I didn't want them thinking they needed to cater to me, or go out of their way to make sure that I didn't fall apart. 

"I just know that you loved Jason, and it's only been a week since I saw you looking totally dejected at the airport."

"Well, I am doing much better.  I have a new home, a new job, and a new me.  I'm ready to conquer the world, so please, stop worrying about me."  I smiled, trying to get him to see that I wasn't the basket case that I may have earlier appeared to be.

"True.  So what's the deal with the job anyway?"

"Wednesday," I managed to say, with a bite of pizza just going into my mouth. "Orientation and all of that grand stuff.  What are the plans for you?"  I wanted to shift the conversation away from me and onto him.  My life wasn't all that impressive at the moment, and Chase had some promising things coming up in his.

"I'm going on a couple of interviews for summer internships.  Then it's back to school for one last semester before I can finally move up in the world and be a graduate like you." He gave me a mock look of admiration and I could do nothing but laugh and throw my greasy, crumpled napkin at him.