Emerge (22 page)

             
He was in the back office. It wasn’t finished and the plywood walls were littered with calendars and receipts and pictures with funny sayings.

             
I knocked on the door jamb since there was no real door to knock on.

             
“Mr. Cannon?”

             
He turned around and the way he smiled reminded me of Santa Claus. Plus he was wearing a red flannel shirt with red suspenders and it just helped the image even more.

             
“There you are Little Lady. I was hoping you would stop by before you left for the day.  I’ve got your check and something else for you.”

             
“
Sir?
What else?”

             
“Just look in the envelope.” He chuckled and it was certainly a belly full of jelly.

             
I opened the envelope and my regular paycheck was in it.

             
He said, “Here, sign it and I’ll cash it for you.”

             
“Thank you” I signed I and he went about counting out the right amount.

             
He handed it to me and said, “Go on…there’s another one in there.”

             
I made a questioning face and he just shooed his hands at me as if to make me hurry up. 
             

             
I looked in the envelope and pulled out a wad of cash.

             
My eyes widened and my mouth opened and stayed that way.

             
Mr. Cannon smiled and said, “For your hard work. You deserve it.”

             
It was all in twenty dollar bills but as
I mentally counted, it was three hundred dollars
.

             
I looked to Mr. Cannon and started to protest, but not too much.

             
He interrupted me. “Just close your mouth and say thank you.”

             
I ran to him and hugged him as he chuckled and I mu
st’ve said ‘thank you’ about two hundred
times before I left.

             
I strolled
home and before I
reached the house I put the three hundred dollars
in my bra.  It was kinda weird, but there was really no safe place in my house to stash it.  I felt like one of those old ladies in the grocery store who pulls out all of tho
se sweaty bills out of her amply filled brazier
.  I shuddered in memory of it.

             
I walked into the house through the side door and brought my bag with me into the bedroom. I was so anxious about going to pick the fabric for my dress, mostly because I was excited and the rest was because my mom had insisted on coming with.  I changed my shirt because after I had dusted a trumpet and climbed down the ladder, well
,
by the time I got down my shirt was covered in musical dust.

             
I changed into a fitted v-neck white t-shirt and left the jeans I had on.  I was wearing my flip flops in case I had to try on shoes.  I didn’t know if we were shopping for shoes or not, but I wanted to be prepared.

             
I grabbed my bag and went back into the living room where my Mom sat on the couch.  She looked like she was trying too hard.  She had one of her new outfits on complete with these big gaudy red hoops that matched her stop light red shirt. 

             
She looked disgusted when she said, “
Jenna,
is
that
what you’re wearing?”

             
I looked down at myself and shrugged.
“Yep.”

             
“You could at least try not to embarrass me.  I can’t even imagine what kind of dress you’re going to want.”

             
Just then there was a knock at the door and Rebecca was standing outside clapping again. 

             
I opened the door and stepped out before she could step in.

             
“Hi! Thank you again for doing this.”

             
She was smiling and doing some kind of jig. “I’m so excited. Where’s your Mom, let’s go.”

             
She appeared behind me, I could smell her.  She smelled like she had bathed in department store perfume.

             
Rebecca motioned to her car which was a cross between a station wagon and an SUV and said, “Come on, let’s go.  We can take my car.”

             
When we got to the car, Rebecca had gotten into the driver’s side and unlocked the doors. My mom pushed me out of the way so she could sit in the front seat.  It was childish and ridiculous.

             
We rode in silence most of the way and then Rebecca turned off of the freeway at an exit marked Downtown Los Angeles.  I noticed the change of scenery and it was overwhelming. 
Stores were packed together and there was signage in every imaginable language.  Some had shoes, some had purses, some had boots, and there were warehouses which advertised that they had any kind of fabric one would ever want.

             
Rebecca parked in a paid parking lot and got a ticket from the dispenser as she drove into it.  We parked quickly and she got out and her whole demeanor had changed.  She was like a woman on a mission and you could tell that this was her element.

             
“This way, come on.” She sounded like a tour guide and put her arm through mine and completely ignored my Mom as we took off in a fast pace.

             
“Ok, Jenna, first we are going into a store to see what kind of style you want.  I was going to get you some magazine pictures but I figured this was better.”

             
Mom was barely keeping up and I snickered into my fist.

             
We headed in
to the first store after about three
blocks of walking.  I didn’t think my mom was going to make it and she slumped into the first chair available.  The store almost reminded me of a dry cleaner
’
s.  There were revolving racks everywhere and then I looked up and there were thousands of
dresses hanging in bags. 

             
I looked to Rebecca in awe and she was smiling like a Cheshire cat.

             
“Where do we start?” I asked her.

             
She grabbed my hand and towed me to the back.  “
Here.
”

             
We looked for an hour and I found a perfect dress.  It was a beautiful shade of red that wasn’t too bright but wasn’t too dark.  It was a halter top but the way it was cut didn’t reveal too much cleavage.  It was slit up the side, but it was a little too high for my taste.

             
I put the hanger around my neck and twirled around. 

             
Rebecca was excited about it and said the shape would be flattering for my body shape and the color was perfect for my fair skin.
  I didn’t know about that, but I knew I loved this dress and I loved the color.  She also said that she could fix the slit so that it wasn’t so revealing.
 
             

             
“Should we show it to your Mom?” She acted like she wasn’t sure.

             
“Yeah, I guess. I mean, that’s why she came, right?” I shrugged and started towards the front of the store. 

             
We walked through the maze of dresses again and I stopped in front of my mom with a genuine smile. 

             
She looked at the dress and up and me and back at the dress.

             
She flicked her finger, outlining the dress like she was drawing in the air.

             
“
This
is what you chose?” She said and her words were interwoven with disdain.

             
“Yes, isn’t it gorgeous?”

             
She nodded and for a split second she had me fooled.

             
“Yes, it’s perfect for a prostitute or a whorehouse. If that’s the direction you’re going then ‘yes’ it’s perfect.”

             
The most ironic part of her whole premise was that she was wearing a shirt and huge hoop earrings that were almost the exact same color.

             
I was absolutely humiliated.  I had never been so ashamed of whom I was and the fact that she was my mother in my whole life.  I had been to food banks, welfare offices, bought groceries in front of people from school with food stamps and everything in between. This was an all time low for me and being in her presence presently made me nauseated.

             
I had to do
something before I puked.

             
I put the dress gently on the ‘return’ rack and walked back in front of Rebecca.  “I think I’m done
shopping Rebecca, but thanks
.  If you wouldn’t mind, could you please just pick the fabric and make me whatever dress you think would suit me?”

             
Rebecca was still dumbfounded and her eyes, though her body was facing me, were still glued to my mother, unbelieving.

             
She grabbed my arm again
and we went only three stores down and what looked from the outside to be a small store turned out to be the storefront for a huge fabric warehouse.  She pulled me with her as she picked the most beautiful shimmery pale blue fabric.  She said it was the perfect kind of fabric for the dress she had in mind.

             
I stood with her as the attendant cut the appropriate amount and handed it to us and pointed to the register. 
We went to the register and after showing her wholesale license I only ended up paying $60 in total for the fabric, thread and a zipper. 

             
We made our way back to the store front and Rebecca held the bag all the way back to the car.  It seemed as if she was as pissed as I was and I think she was a bit embarrassed for me.  Hell, I wanted to hide under a rock.

             
We got into the car and my Mom started complaining that she was hungry and she wanted to stop and get something to eat.  Rebecca pulled off of the freeway at our exit and proceeded to the nearest In & Out.  My mom ordered enough food for her, Wallace and May. I didn’t order anything and neither did Rebecca. When we pulled up to the first window my Mom feigned surprise at the fact that she had no cash.  Then she tried some card and it was declined.  Embarrassment apparently wanted to be my best friend today. I pulled out enough cash and handed it to Rebecca and then she handed me the change back. 

             
We made our way home and as we were getting out Rebecca stopped me. 

             
“Jenna, I really need to go ahead and take your measurements while you are here so I can get your dress done in enough time to make alterations if we need to.  Why don’t you come in and do it now?”

             
I was grateful for what she was doing and I started back to her house with her.  My Mom started to follow us and Rebecca turned on her and was none too nice about it.

             
“Um…Miranda?
  I stopped because you said you were starving.  Certainly Jenna can get her measurements taken by herself, right?  I mean she is an adult.  Why don’t you go back to your house and eat and Jenna will be home shortly.”

             
My Mom huffed but turned around nonetheless and
made her way back home.

             
I followed Rebecca upstairs to this beautiful loft type room with a bay window.  It had dress forms in every corner and fabric was splattered along the furniture like paint.

             
She said, “Ok, strip down to your skivvies and let’s get your measurements.”
             

             
I blushed and my mouth went slack.

             
She turned around and I was still dressed. 

             
She snorted, “Oh Jenna, I’m sorry, all of my actors know to just strip and it’s no big deal.  Sorry honey.  But really I’ve seen it all and you don’t have to be shy around me, ok?”

             
My blush never left but I took off my shirt and jeans and stood before her almost naked and itching to put my clothes back on.  She measured everything and then she asked me to put my arms up to measure my bust. She put the tape around my breasts and felt the bulge of money.  I laughed and pulled it out and she gasped.