Easter's Lilly (38 page)

“
Since we don’t seem to have a choice, I’ll make the best of it.”

“
Still mad about Olivia? Is that it?”

“
You think?” Hector added sarcastically.

“
I didn’t order the hit. That was Jorge. You know that. I just took the credit for it to make you angry. It wasn’t me.”

“
You slept with her.” His voice was being shaken by his anger.

“
Once,” he said softly. He was obviously remorseful. “Only one time. I don’t think she really wanted to be with me.” I was surprised at how open he was about it. “I only did it to get to you and Jorge. Max had Lilly’s heart so completely…” He paused. “I really
am
sorry. I never dreamed that she’d get pregnant.”

Hector looked over at Max for some kind of approval. Max stared back and nodded at him. Hector put his last dish down and walked out of the room. “He’s going to need some time,” Max told him. “I ended up with the girl. He ended up with nothing.”

Max kissed me on the forehead and headed out after Hector. Diego reached into the fridge and grabbed a beer. “Can I get you something, Lilly?”

“
I’ll take a soda, thanks.” He pulled out a diet soda for me and poured it into a glass before he handed it to me. “I remember you don’t like to drink straight from the can.”

“
Thanks.” I smiled. It felt good to be with him like this.

“
So really…” He gave me that smile again. “How are you? Do you like being a mother a second time?”

“
I’m great.” I smiled. “Christian and Diego are the sweetest blessings I could ever have asked for. And Max,” I could feel my face flush, “I am so happy with Max.”

He sat beside me and took my hand. “I wish it was me,” he said. “But maybe I’ll find my ‘baby girl’ when this is all over.”

“
Maybe you really have changed,” I said. “I’m not afraid of you anymore.”

His face changed. His smile fell and I swear I saw tears fill in his eyes. He squeezed my hands. “I am so sorry, Lilly.” He pulled back and turned his face away so I would not see his pain. I could see he was wiping his face. I got up and walked over to where he was sitting. He stood up, and for a moment, a little too close. I backed up. “I’m not afraid of you anymore. That’s a good thing.”

“
What a monster I must have been.” I reached up to his face and dried a tear. Then I stopped myself. I backed up quickly and looked around. We were still alone. “I’m not Johnny,” he said. And that was all that was said. I sat back in my chair and my legs were shaking. Diego looked at me with a very unfamiliar stare. I put my hands on my face. What was that? I didn’t want to mislead him. Then I looked back up at him. “It’s fine,” he whispered. He squeezed my hand again and let it go quickly. We could both hear Max coming down the stairs.

“
What’s going on?” he asked. “Did you say something to upset her?”

“
She used to be afraid of me,” he told him. “It’s just hard to hear, that’s all.”

Max walked around the table and grabbed me. He picked me up into his arms and kissed me. “When was the last time we went out together?”

“
I… I can’t remember.” I said. I was still out of breath.

“
Hector said he’d watch the boys and we could go out to dinner. And then later….” He started kissing my neck. Diego rolled his eyes.

“
Sounds great,” I said. “I’ll go change.”

“
You’re totally loving this, aren’t you?” Diego laughed.

“
You betcha!” Max smiled and said, “Sorry, but I do owe you a little pay back.”

“
Maybe a little,” he admitted. “I wonder what Hector feels he owes me,” he continued.

“
Right now, don’t ask him that question. Give him some time. He’ll come around.” He followed me upstairs so we could get ready for dinner. I watched Diego watch us leave.

Chapter 29

Too Close

Several months had gone by. This was by far the trial from hell. Max had left me alone again, but this time with Diego. It was as if he married me just to make sure no one else could. He was never home and I was lonely most of the time. He left early and came home late. When he came to bed at night I was usually already fast asleep. The only person I spent any time with was Diego, the children and Hector sometimes. This whole situation was terribly reminiscent of my marriage to Diego just the other way around.

I came down the stairs after Max and Hector had left for court. Diego was cooking and it smelled enticing. I was glad to have the company. When I sat down at the counter he put a dish of eggs benedict in front of me. “My favorite,” I said as he pulled up a stool next to me.

“
I know.” He smiled warmly and I felt soothed by it. “It hasn’t been that long, you know.”

“
It’s weird,” I mentioned. “It’s like nothing ever changed. Except you are different somehow.” I was eating my breakfast a little self-consciously. He was watching me intently. “So much has happened in this house.”

“
I know,” he replied. “If only the walls could speak.” He got up and walked back to the sink. I could see he was uncomfortable. I went to the sink when I finished and handed him my plate. He took it and washed it and handed it back to me to dry. Our hands touched and I dropped the plate. He turned and looked at me. His eyes burned inside of mine. My stomach felt butterflies moving around inside of it. We were frozen for a minute. He reached over with his hand and touched my chin in such a way that my eyes locked on his. He moved closer to me and touched the sides of my face with his hands. I guess this was something that all three of them had figured out by now: My weakness. He kissed me and I melted. It felt so good to be close to someone. To be wanted again. I had no control left in my physical body. He swept me up and carried me to the couch. He laid me down and began to caress my lips with his. I could feel him unbuttoning my blouse and pulling my camisole down. His mouth was slowly moving down my body and I moaned out his name. I felt him pulling up my dress and I panicked. I slid out from under him and landed on the floor. He got up right away and put out his hand to help me to my feet.

“
What the hell was that?” I asked, taking his hand and standing up. I started refastening my clothes when we saw a car pull up. We stood motionless looking at each other. He put his finger to his lips and a soft, ‘Shhh…’ came breathlessly forth. Thankfully it was Hector by himself.

Hector looked at me and touched my face with the back on his fingers. “Lilly, go and throw some cold water on your face.” I still stood there, looking at him curiously. “You’re flush and I don’t know how long Max will be. He can’t see you like that.” I still said nothing but ran to the bathroom to look at my face. To my surprise he didn’t start talking to him in Spanish. I suspect he didn’t want me bugging him later about what he said. “How long did it take you to get back in her pants, five minutes?” He was angry.

“
It wasn’t like that,” he said. “She stopped me.”

“
You had better not have forced her.” I could hear his gun cock.

“
Hector, please, of course not.”

“
She’s so innocent, Diego. She doesn’t understand all this stuff.”

“
I know; I took advantage. It’s not over for me. To me we’re still married. I never agreed to give her up.”

“
You and Max have got to stop playing with each other’s stuff!” I came out of the bathroom and the two of them were still arguing. “Did he force himself on you?”

“
Put the gun down Hector, it was my fault.”

“
Did you have sex?” he asked me.

“
No, no…” I looked down and noticed that my top was buttoned wrong. “Oh no,” I quickly blurted as I turned away and started to fix it.

“
You took your clothes off for him…” He was so disappointed in me. “Diego, you had better not say one word to Max. He will not come back from this.”

“
I’m not Johnny, I won’t say a word.”

“
That’s what
he
said,” I remembered.

Diego touched my cheek and looked at me with intense longing. “I won’t say a word.”

“
Get out of here you Bible thumper and let me talk to her alone.” Diego grabbed his bible from the end table and walked off.

“
Hypocrite,” Hector said under his breath as he watched him disappear out the back. “Didn’t Max ever have ‘the talk’ with you, Lilly?”

“
You
do
know I’ve had two children, right?”

“
Lilly, you have only been with three men and they are all intimately connected. You can’t really put any of them aside because they’re always around. John is Dieguito’s father and Diego is Max’s brother. You can’t even heal with all of this going on.”

“
Heal?” I asked. “How am I supposed to do that?”

“
Once you’re intimate with someone, there are always some residual feelings left behind.” He brushed my hair out of my tear stained face.

“
I don’t understand.”

“
As time goes on the bad stuff fades and you remember the good stuff. You probably let John kiss you because you had a memory of the old days. Probably just idle curiosity. Let’s not forget that you were living together for seven months pretending to be husband and wife. He was there when Chris was born…” He paused. “I think that’s enough to justify your actions.” I rolled my eyes. I could see they were never going to believe I rejected him outright. “Diego,” he continued. “Far stronger feelings. He gave you your first…” He looked down. I could tell he was a little embarrassed.

“
Yeah, yeah,” I said. “I know what he gave me.”

“
Anyway, you probably remember that fondly. Since he’s so different now, you probably are focused on that.”

“
Hector, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I love Max so completely.” I looked away. “Damn it, why am I so weak?”

“
I’m telling you, you are still very connected to all three of them. It will be hard for you to really separate. Besides, Max is always leaving you alone with them. You don’t do
alone
very well.”

I grabbed his hands and started to tear up. “I’m just so lonely. It feels so good to be with a man. To be touched and wanted.” I put his hands to my face. “Please, please don’t tell Max.”

He released my hands and said, “I’ll take it to my grave and you do the same. Don’t ease your guilt by telling him. He flipped out over a kiss. What do you think he will say about all this?” He motioned with his hand to my top. I turned away out of total humiliation. “Do not have an affair with him, Lilly.
You
won’t be able to come back from that.”

“
Do you think Diego will…”

He interrupted me, “No, he really doesn’t think he did anything wrong. He thinks Max came and took you from him. He still feels like you’re his. Besides, it is so cut and dry sibling rivalry. If he tells Max he spoils the game.”

“
Does Max have residual feelings for his old lovers? Do you?” I didn’t know anything about Max’s sexual past and that bothered me.

“
I know I’ll get in trouble for this but look at Max and the judge and Max and Vanessa.”

“
I knew it!” I said. “I knew Vanessa was that angry because he had a personal relationship with her. And the judge… I had my suspicions.”

“
Since he blatantly lied to you about it, I’m not going to run to him with this. Plus, you are so naive, I find it hard to blame you.” He re-took my hand. “I am a little hurt though.”

“
Why?” I asked.

“
I really thought you’d turn to me before going back to Diego.”

“
Shut up!” I said. “Give it a rest. I said you had a nice chest, get over it already.”

He laughed. “Remember Lilly, he’s not the good one here. He’s the monster with the fangs that you ran for your life from. Always remember that when he’s piling on the charm.”

“
You didn’t finish answering my question.”

“
Let’s walk and talk,” he said. “Max will be home soon.” He took my hand and we started walking towards the creek. “The judge obviously had fond memories of her affair with Max and if he pursued it, she would probably respond. Sound familiar?” I looked at the ground. “Vanessa was steaming mad that he slept with her and dumped her. That’s what he did back then.” We could see the creek coming up in the clearing and Diego reading his bible on the rocks. “She was still harboring feelings for him. As for me…” He laughed. “My last lover is dead. I never see the ones I had before her. There are some in Mexico, and some here but I make a point to not keep in touch. It’s easier to move on that way.”