e (85 page)

I do not need to tell you how disappointed I am.

Jim

	[email protected] 1/14/00, 1:44pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Coke

Jim, you read my mind. Naturally, as soon as I uncovered Simon Horne’s despicable deception I knew straight away that we must purge ourselves of him and his work. The only reason for my delay was that I wished to test the ethical standards of my staff. I am afraid that Pinki Fallon is the only one who emerged with any credit.

And while you know I do not share your enthusiasm for “Fizzy Pop,” I am already on the case with Pertti. I will keep you fully informed of developments.

David

	David Crutton – 1/14/00, 1:52pm
to:	Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
re:	fucking disaster

A fucking rat has told Weissmuller about Simon’s theft. I can only presume it was Pinki’s warped idea of a leaving present. He is demanding we fly in van Helden. This is about as bad as things can get. No, it could be worse – he could bring Aqua with him. See me.

	[email protected] 1/14/00, 2:13pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Coca-Cola

Long time, no hear, Pertti! I may have been a little brusque with you the other day. My humble apologies. My only excuse is that I have been under heavy pressure with the upcoming Coke pitch.

Speaking of which, I have been thinking deeply about our creative
approach. I have come to the conclusion that the radical route that we developed in London is perhaps a little too “cutting edge” for a company as conservative as Coke. My team and I took a second look at your campaign. As Harriet Greenbaum wrote in her e-mail to you, we were always greatly impressed by the Aqua campaign – we love the refreshing absence of irony and the childish sense of fun.

We are now of the opinion that your excellent creative work is precisely what we need to win this huge piece of business. It recalls the heyday of great Coke advertising and taps into the emotions evinced by “I’d like to teach the world to sing.” I don’t need to tell a gifted adman such as yourself that nostalgia is perhaps the most powerful weapon in our armoury.

I am hugely sorry to put you to this trouble so late in the day, but I would very much like you to join our team for the presentation on Monday. I appreciate that it is far too eleventh hour to mobilise Aqua to attend. However, if we could have yourself and the work, I am sure we can put on a show that will have the ladies and gentlemen from Atlanta dancing in the aisles! I have informed Jim Weissmuller of my decision and he is looking forward immensely to seeing you.

My PA is looking into flights now. Please let me know as soon as possible how this last-minute request sits with your own schedule.

Yours sincerely,

David Crutton

	David Crutton – 1/14/00, 2:15pm
to:	Harriet Greenbaum
cc:
re:	a job for you

I have just written to van Helden. Now I want to be sick. I think I am incapable of eating a second slice of humble pie and crawling past Pinki’s sphincter. Please do it for me. Anyway, she is far more likely to listen to you.

	David Crutton – 1/14/00, 2:19pm
to:	Zoë Clarke
cc:
re:	you

Where the hell are you? I need you to look into flight availability, Helsinki/London. And I need something to eat. Get me a sandwich. Any sandwich.

	[email protected] 1/14/00, 2:26pm
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	your homecoming

I got some divinely gorgeous silk roses – pinks, violets and fiery yellows – and I found something else you’ll love: aromatherapy cushions for your sofas! I bought three. They’re called “Inspire,” “Revive” and “Sensuous” and they were only £49.99 each. The lady in Aroma Amour said they really help the creative mind find its balance! Hope you don’t mind but I moved the furniture round a bit. I put the sofas in an “L” under the windows and your desk facing the door. I think it will make you look much more forceful and commanding when people walk in. Write soon – can’t wait for Monday!! Sx

	Harriet Greenbaum – 1/14/00, 2:33pm
to:	David Crutton
cc:
re:	Pinki

I have spoken to her and she was moved by your change of heart. She’s on her way in to help in whatever way she can with the pitch. I’m sure it wasn’t her who told Jim by the way – she hasn’t a political bone in her body.

I’ve blocked out most of the afternoon to adapt the pitch document to the Finnish campaign but if you need any help to smooth Pertti’s passage over, give me a shout.

	[email protected] 1/14/00, 2:57pm (4:57pm local)
to:	[email protected]
cc:
re:	Coca-Cola

My dear David,

All apologisings accepted. As fellow Chief I am familiarised with the gale force pressures at the top. Jim is also phoning to beg me to be at your disposing. I am only too happy to be placing myself in your service and be “pitching in”! I was making an earmark this weekend to teach my oldest boy the pleasure of the ice fishing, but not to matter. He is understanding since a small age that for the Warrior of Advertising, the battle is always coming first.

You are in good luck that the storyboards are already completing and we are ready to rock ’n’ roll. And the excellent news is that as soon as I am reading your message I get onto the phone like quick lightning to the manager of Aqua. Can you believe that they are free and are very delighted to join our merry band? I am now confessing that I was foreseeing this outcoming so I am maintaining them on standby the whole week. Do not be worrying about booking tickets. This we are doing at our end of things. I am arriving in Gatwick International Airport on tomorrow at 1:00. Aqua are flying in their own pop-star executive plane charter on Sunday.