e (58 page)
Authors: Matt Beaumont
I kept track of her as best I could yesterday and I don’t think she was suspicious. Here is my report.
| 08:35: | P arrived at work. Made cup of tea (Typhoo). Read Guardian (Education Supplement). |
| 08:46: | LO’K arrived. Shut door. Possibly working. |
| 10:30: | HG went into P’s office. Shut door. |
| 10:46: | HG came out with P. They hugged. HG got in lift. P went to loo (No 1s). |
| 10:53: | P came out of loo. Went walkabout round dept. Visited all teams briefly. Returned to own office with new Coke layouts. Smiling. |
| 11:35: | P informed SJ-D that she was going to recording of Coke demo track at Candle Music. SJ-D checked with TV dept. Two independent sources confirmed P’s story. |
| 13:59: | P returned carrying takeaway bag. Impossible to verify contents. Presume non-meat lunch. |
| 14:14: | LO’K returned from lunch with LP. Caught SJ-D listening at door. Don’t think he suspected. |
| 14:33: | P came out of office. Informed SJ-D she was going to see DC. Seemed agitated. SJ-D followed. P entered DC’s office. Shut door. |
| 15:00: | P returned to floor. Calm. Entered office. Shut door. |
| 15:16: | P came out of office and went to loo (No 1s and 2s). |
| 15:55: | P came out of loo holding tissues. Stopped at waste bin on return to office. Removed copy of Viz. Relevance unclear. |
| 16:22: | DC came onto creative floor. Ignored SJ-D. Sat on LP’s desk and spoke for 6 mins. Appeared friendly. DC then went into P’s office. |
| 16:40: | DC came out of P’s office with P. P informed SJ-D she would be at Bar Zero with DC. Not to be disturbed. SJ-D followed at distance and viewed subjects through window. DC ordered double espresso. P ordered tea. DC made joke with waitress. Subjects then spoke for thirty-four mins. P laughed twice. |
| 17:14: | DC paid bill (cash) and left with P. Encountered SJ-D upon exit. SJ-D explained she’d been shopping for confectionery item. Don’t believe subjects were suspicious. SJ-D walked with P and DC to agency. Discussed HG’s new hairdo. |
| 17:17: | P returned to office alone. Shut door. |
| 17:43: | P came out of office. Informed SJ-D she was going to tai chi class. SJ-D followed P to YMCA. |
| 19:07: | P came out of YMCA. SJ-D followed P back to agency. P joined LO’K in office. Shut door. Possibly working. |
| 21:39: | P came out of office. Informed SJ-D she was going home. SJ-D followed P to tube. P bought single ticket to Belsize Park and entered ticket barrier. Presume going home. |
| 21:48: | Surveillance ended. SJ-D returned to office to draft report. |
I’m sorry I couldn’t hear what she was talking to David about in Bar Zero, but I don’t think it was the weather. Hope everything is going well in Mauritius. Did the drugs arrive? E me soon. I’m so lonely here without you, darling . . . Sx
 | [email protected] 1/12/00, 9:19am (1:19pm local) |
| to: | [email protected] |
| cc: | |
| re: | Mako |
Did you get the timing plan I faxed to you yesterday? I haven’t heard, so I presume it’s OK. Let me know.
If you’re at all interested, it’s going belly-up here. We’re on our lunch break now, but this morning, our first chance to shoot anything, the weather closed in and we have nothing in the can. Worse than that the client is threatening to fire us over a can of pop, Ivana Trump and a sexual assault charge. Please don’t ask me to explain – way too bizarre. Danny Boy is with client now doing his oily best to make the peace.
Yesterday was a bloody fiasco. First of all we had our little casting session – let’s just call it a
mis-casting
session and say no more. Then I had to deal with the arrival of our crew. I spent the entire afternoon in the lobby clutching my clipboard like a breastplate to my bosom as miscellaneous gaffers, grips and clapper loaders demanded their rights to sea views and four-posters. Do not become a holiday rep, my dear. It is a quite thankless job. After that it was a couple of Valium and go direct to the Land of Nod.
Incidentally, do you think I look like Ms. Trump? Everyone here is saying so but I can’t see it. Darling, I thought I was more Michelle Pfeiffer (circa
The Fabulous Baker Boys
)!
Do write soon and assure me I’m not going completely doolally.
| [email protected] 1/12/00, 9:30am |
| to: | [email protected] |
| cc: | |
| re: | DATELINE MAURITIUS, DAY 3 |
You’re dead fucking right about Mel – a double for Trump. Looks like you’ll be coming home without a film
and
a client. I’m gonna do a department sweep on possible outcomes.
Lol’s sweet again. Yesterday I did flowers, chocolates, silky girly things, a Diesel voucher and lunch. Think she bought my explanation that I’ve hardly spoken to Philpott and that she’s been stalking me since she joined. I watched
Play Misty for Me
on cable on Sunday night and got the idea from that. Razor fucking sharp, me.
Pinki’s playing a political blinder. Call me sexist but I never thought a bird could do the CD’s job. The love child of Joan Baez and Tiny Tim is proving me well wrong. Crutton’s falling for her big time. Been charming the Jesus sandals off her. Took her out for coffee yesterday afternoon. If she waxed her underarms and lost the henna body art she’d be in Horne’s chair by Feb 1. You heard it here first.
Apparently Susi “resigned” again on Monday but she still turned up yesterday. She was creeping around like Magnum PI. Caught her bending down outside our door trying to sneak a listen. Said she was clearing a paper jam in the copier (the one that’s had the “out of order” sign on it since November). Pinki’s convinced she followed her and Crutton to BZ.
The word this morning is that they took the servers to bits yesterday looking for the e-mail fault, only to work out that Crutton doesn’t know his laptop from an Etch-a-Sketch. We’re being led into the 21st century by Cro-Magnon man. Nothing ever changes.
| Rachel Stevenson – 1/12/00, 9:46am |
| to: | All Departments |
| cc: | |
| re: | IT changes |
Peter Renquist, the Acting Head of IT, is no longer with the company. He has decided to leave to pursue other interests. I hope
you’ll join me in wishing him well. Until a permanent replacement arrives, Ravi Basnital will take over Peter’s duties. Please give him all the support he needs.
Rachel Stevenson
Personnel
| Zoë Clarke – 1/12/00, 9:49am |
| to: | All Departments |
| cc: | |
| re: | David’s schedule |
All David’s meetings for the rest of the morning are cancelled, as he has to attend an urgent IT training session. Sorry for the inconvenience. – Zoë
| [email protected] 1/12/00, 9:57am (1:57pm local) |
| to: | [email protected] |
| cc: | |
| re: | Pinki Fallon |
thnks for rport . . . keep eye peeld . . . shhoot go welll . . . drrugss arive . . . feeelin verry week . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . mst sleeeeeeeep . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . nbahsqwygrshsbbtk
| [email protected] 1/12/00, 10:05am (2:05pm local) |
| to: | [email protected] |
| cc: | |
| re: | your concerns |
