Dreams~Shadows of the Night (19 page)

They clung to each other with a tenacity born of deprivation; a craving that throbbed deep within.
Their bodies
awakened anew to the insatiable hunger that had always existed between
them, igniting in flames of passion that threatened to consume.

He lifted her hips toward him.

“Brace yourself
,sweetheart
. It’s going to be one hell of a ride.”

Every ounce of energy was absorbed while they poured themselves into each other, equally giving and taking; heart to heart, flesh to flesh. They continued to moan in unison rising again and again until they were ready to erupt in a frenzy of fiery passion.

Josh’s head reared back.

“Mine!” he roared seconds before they erupted.

Moments later, fighting to breathe, Catherine shifted beneath his weight.”

Josh?”

“Not yet,” he panted. “Let me enjoy being a part of you a little while longer.”

When he rolled away a few seconds later he kept one hand resting possessively across her stomach. They lay in the dark, their bodies slick with sweat, wrapped in the afterglow of their lovemaking, and the intense pleasure they’d given to each other.

He smiled and wound a hand through several strands of her hair before letting it flow away like threads of spun gold.

“It was always good between us, wasn’t it?”

“Better than good,” she agreed.

He cupped her face and brought their mouths together in another searing kiss, leaving her breathless and clinging to him. His eyes flamed with desire when he looked at her again. “I want you here beside me when I wake up. Stay with me tonight.”

“I wish I could, but I have to work the early shift in the morning.”

He groaned and pressed her against his rapidly hardening body.

“Call in sick,” he demanded before rolling her onto her back and positioning himself between her thighs.

They took their time with their second joining, stretching out their lovemaking until it spilled out of them in a sweet symphony of movement and sound.
They were together again, but t
here was s
till the blankness
of all the lost months
,
and un
like
the marks on Josh’s chest,
unseen blemishes that one felt, but could not see.

Sh
e
pressed her lips to his scars, whispering words of empathy. The thought of
the agony he must have suffered made her eyes fill with tears until they dripped onto his chest. She felt him stiffen and quickly wiped a hand over her cheeks.

He lifted her head and made her look at him.

“Why are you crying?”

“I’m thinking of your pain.” She touched his scars. “How did you get these?”

A muscle danced in his cheek.

“You don’t want to know.”

It wasn’t that she was morbidly curious, but she thought perhaps if she knew what had happened in the jungle it would make it easier for her to fill in some of the missing gaps.

“I thought it might help me to understand if I knew what
happened.”

“So you want the gory details, do you?” he said, his voice dangerously quiet. “If you had my
memories
you wouldn’t want to be digging them up again, Catherine
.
”

She heard the faint warning in his voice and the beginning of temper that she sensed he was fighting to control.

“I’m sorry, Josh. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I know you didn’t; and while I realize you think you’re doing the right thing in trying to get me to talk about it, I can’t go over all that again. I’ve had enough trouble trying to forget the degradation of what I went through and move on as it is.”

“That was very insensitive of me. You’ve been through enough. It wasn’t my intention to make things worse. Just forget I ever mentioned anything,” she babbled on until a catch in her voice made her stop. She tried to wipe away newly forming tears.

He blew out a noisy breath.

“Come here,” he said and hauled her into his arms, pressing her to him. “Please don’t cry, Catherine. It makes me feel like a damn heel.”

“I shouldn’t have brought it up. It’s not a very good way to end our lovemaking.”

“Who says we’re finished?” He treated her to one of his devastating smiles before his lips began a slow trail along her neck to her shoulder and down to her breasts. She scraped her nails across his back and felt his mounting passion and recognized the desperate craving that would soon push him out of control.

His hands were everywhere, gliding over her, creating currents of pleasure that rushed through her body like a flashflood. He groaned out
her name. Catherine bowed her body and offered him all she had to give wanting to blot out the bad memories for him in the only way he would allow.

“I love you,” she said, but somehow knew the words weren’t going to be enough.

A deep shudder tore through him. He pulled her to him and surged forth piercing the very core of her until their release came in a glorious shower of glittering sparks.

C
hapter
S
eventeen

The
weeks passed as they continued to slowly reconstruct their relationship. But because there was still so much unsaid between them, Catherine couldn’t help feeling they were building on shaky ground. She could see that Josh had changed. Although on the surface he seemed to be trying to return to his old carefree self, she sensed an underlying edginess in him.

This was especially true at night when he’d awaken her with his body shaking and shouts of distress. She’d rouse him as gently as possible fighting to keep her voice calm in an effort to lead him out of his nightmares. No one knew better than she did about dreaded visions that invaded sleep and made you feel as though you were losing your sanity. It was like having a monster living inside you that took control of your brain.

The look in his eyes worried her, as she watched him struggle to fight his way out of the trauma and return to the present. She suspected he was suffering from posttraumatic stress disorder, but he refused to talk about his dreams. All she could do was give him what comfort he’d allow by holding him in her arms.

His old company hired him back and he confessed he was still bored with the job, but appeared to lack the ambition to try for anything else. He rejected old friendships and refused to cultivate any new ones. He spent as much time with her as possible
and soon became so possessive there were days Catherine felt as though he was suffocating her. He questioned her every move when they weren’t together, begrudged her time with her friends, and insisted on having her work schedule to keep track of her hospital hours.

He condoned his behavior by saying he was making up for their time apart. He talked of marriage, but she worried he was driven more by a nameless fear rather than confidence in forging any kind of permanent happiness. As much as she loved Josh, Catherine began to wonder if love would be enough to make their relationship work.

She angered him when she told him they needed more time to get used to each other again and she upset him further by turning down his suggestion that she move in with him, using the excuse she didn’t want to leave the baby or take him from her aunt.

She was spending another night at his apartment and as usual most of the time had been spent in bed. It wasn’t that she didn’t enjoy their lovemaking, but it was beginning to trouble Catherine that it seemed to be their only form of communication. There were times Josh seemed almost desperate to have her be a part of him, and he’d make love with such intensity they were both left feeling totally exhausted, but strangely unfulfilled.

But tonight had been one of their gentler couplings, as Josh teased her body into sweet surrender with soft kisses and hands that moved slowly over quivering flesh. He stretched his length alongside her now and hooked a muscular leg over her calves. His expression, filled with lazy satisfaction reminded Catherine of a large contented feline.

His lips trailed up the side of her neck lingering in the small h
o
llow beneath her ear causing her to shiver. He gave her
neck
one last nuzzle before propping himself up on an elbow.

“I checked your schedule and you don’t have to work this weekend.”

“That’s right. Do I take that to mean you’ve made some kind of plans for us?”

“Yes and I hope you’ll agree with them. I want you to come with me to my folks and bring Tommy. I’ll make
all
the arrangements and promise we’ll only stay one night.”

He’d asked her to go with him before, and so far she’d been able to put him off.

“My aunt and I were planning on taking him shopping this weekend. He needs new shoes and a couple
of
outfits,” she said, hoping to once again stall the inevitable.

“We both know you can do that any time. You must admit my family has been more than patient waiting to see him. We’ve circled around this before and to tell you the truth, I don’t understand why you haven’t suggested getting together with them yourself.”

She didn’t miss the slight censure in his tone and felt herself stiffen.

“I’m not exactly your family’s favorite person,” she said carefully, dreading the conversation.

“That’s my fault after the way I carried on about you. Everything is fine now.”

“I’m not so sure about that. They all knew Tom loved Nancy and that she was the baby’s mother, but they still let you go on believing I was having an affair with him.”

“How do you know they didn’t try to tell me the truth? I was pretty out of it.”

“There was time when you’d recovered. They think they’re right about me.”

“What makes you say that?”

>>>>dreams<<<<

“I was with Tom when he told them about you being kidnapped. They assumed I was his girlfriend until I told them about our relationship. But your mother still thought Tom and I would want to sleep together that night. After you told the family Tom and I were having an affair and I’d given birth to little Tommy, they were angry and felt that I had deceived them. Jerry was the only one
who
gave me the benefit of the doubt.”

“Okay, maybe they did, but I’m telling you everything’s been set to rights.”

“Has it? I think they still need someone to blame for what happened to you.”

“The hell with that. They can’t go on making you the scapegoat for Pete’s sake. If that’s what’s worrying you, I’ll talk to them.”

“I
’d
rather you didn’t. Defending me might cause more repercussions and I don’t want to add to the problems your family already has with me. They need time to come to grips with everything.” She wanted to tell him it was his mother who had caused the riff and who continued to foster a grudge, but she was afraid he wouldn’t believe her.

“They’ve had enough time already. You’re an important part of my life and my future, Catherine. They’ll have to learn to accept that. Come with me. Everything will be fine. You’ll see. It’ll be a good way to smooth out any grievances by having the baby there with us. Nobody’s going to be able to stay angry with you once they see him.”

Thinking of Ivy made her feel as though she was deliberately heading for the spider’s web.

“I hope you’re right. I don’t have your confidence, but I’ll go because I know Tom would have wanted them to see his son.”

“He would. I’ve really become attached to the little guy.” He leaned down and brushed her lips in a gentle kiss. “Maybe someday we can make him our son together?”

She realized it was another way to get her to marry him.

“We might some day if that’s what you think you need,” she said peering at him from beneath her lashes.

He moved on top of her and grazed his teeth along her jaw before moving down to the soft curves of her breasts. She rose up against him and caught her breath when a tingling sensation ran all the way down her arms to her fingertips while warmth coiled and unfurled in her belly.

“You are what I need, Catherine,” he groaned and flipping over, pulled her on top of him. “That’s all my family has to understand and they’ll come around when they do.”

She wanted to believe him, but Catherine knew Ivy wouldn’t be anxious to accept her back into Josh’s life, even if it was what he wanted. She couldn’t stop that little nugget of doubt even as she responded to the pressure of his body’s demands.

>>>>dreams<<<<

Anyone
who
knew Ivy understood
that
she liked being in control, especially when it came to her family. Josh gave her anxious moments with some of the work assignments he insisted on taking, but none
were
as terrifying as the one in the Amazon when he’d gone missing for all those months. She
had
grieved with a broken heart thinking he was dead.