Do Penguins Have Knees? (35 page)

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Authors: David Feldman

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Farook Taufiq, Prince Company; Dr. Kristin Thelander, University of Iowa; Susan Tildesley, Headwear Institute of America; Fran Toth, Cadillac Motor Car Division; Constance Townsend, U. S. Amateur Ballroom Dancers Association; Jim Trdinich, National League; Ray Tricarico, Playtex International.

Mary Ann Usrey, R. J. Reynolds Tobacco Company.

John Veltman; Carolyn Verweyst, Whirlpool Corporation.

A. R. Ward, Railroadians of America; Pat Weissman, American Association of Railroad Superintendents; Richard Williams; Bruce Wittmaier; Peter Wulff,
Home Lighting
&
Accessories
.

YKK Inc.

Caden Zollo, The Specialty Bulb Company, Inc.

Searchable Terms
 

Actors, speed of speech of

Address labels on magazines

Airlines, inflation of oxygen masks on

Appendix, function of

April 15, as due date for taxes

Area codes, middle digits of

Audiotape recorders, play and records switches on

Automobiles

holes in ceiling of

key release button on

“new car smell,”

rear windows of

weight of batteries

 

 

 

Baby shrimp, peeling and cleaning of

Badges, marshals’ and sheriffs’

Balsa wood, classification as hardwood

Banana peels as slipping agents

Baseball

dugout heights

home plate, shape of

“K” as symbol for strikeout

pitcher’s mound, location of

Baseball cards

wax on wrappers

white stuff on gum

Batteries, automobile, weight of

Bazooka Joe, and eye patch

Beer in Old West

Belly dancers, amplitude of

Bicycles, clicking noises of

Bingo, origins of term

Binoculars, adjustments for

Birds

coloring of

migration patterns of

sleeping habits of

Blacktop roads, lightening of

Blue plate specials, origins of

Blushing and feelings of warmth

Boeing model numbers

Boots on fenceposts

Brain, percentage of use of

Bridges vs. roads, in freezing characteristics

Bubble gum

baseball card gum

Bazooka Joe’s eye patch

bubble-making ingredients

flavors of

Bulbs, light

halogen

high cost of 25-watt variety

and noise when shaking

Buses

Entry into

Ridges on sides of

Butter

hardening after refrigeration

sticks, lengths of

Buttons, men’s vs. women’s shirts

 

 

 

Cable TV, volume levels of

Cadillacs, ducks on

CAR-RT SORT on envelopes

Cars

batteries, weight of

holes in ceiling of

key release buttons on

and “new car smell,”

rear windows of

Cashews, shells of

Cats

and ear scratching

hair, stickiness of

Checks, numbering of

Chewing gum and lasting flavor

Chocolate, white vs. brown

Cigarette butts, burning of

Cleansers, “industrial use” vs. “household,”

Clocks and Roman numerals

Clouds, disappearance of

Coca-Cola, 2-liter bottles of

Comic strips and capital letters

Coupons

cash value of

expiration dates of

versus mail-in refunds

Cowboy hats, dents on

Crickets and chirping

 

 

 

Dance studios, location of

Dictionaries, thumb notches in

“Discussing Uganda,” origins of term

Dixieland music at political rallies

Doctors and bad penmanship

Dogs

and circling before lying down

and head tilting

and “sic” command

Doughnut stores and tissues

Dr Pepper, naming of

“Dry,” as term for wines

Ducks on Cadillacs

Duels, timing of

Dugouts, height of

 

 

 

Earlobes, function of

Ears, hairy, in older men

Electric plug prongs

holes at end of

three prongs vs. two prongs

Elevators, overloading of

English horn, naming of

Envelopes

computer scrawls on

red letters on back of

return windows on

EXEMPT signs at railroad crossings

 

 

 

Fat people and jolliness

Figure skating and dizziness

Film prints after theatrical runs

Fingers, length of

Fish, and floating upon death

Flagpoles, balls on

Fluorescent lights and plinking noises

Football and measurement of first-down yardage

French horns, design of

Fruitcake, supposed popularity of

Frustables

 

 

 

Girdles and fat displacement

Grease, color of

Grocery coupons, cash value of

 

 

 

Hail, metaphors for

Hairy ears in older men

Halogen light bulbs, touching of

Hats

decline in use of

dents on cowboy

holes in sides of

Hearts, shape of, idealized vs. real

Helium and effect on voice

Hernia exams and “Turn your head and cough”

Hockey and Montreal Canadiens uniform

Home plate, in baseball, shape of

Horses

measurement of heights of

posture in open fields

Hospital gowns, back ties of

Hot dog buns, slicing of

Hot dogs, skins of

 

 

 

Ice, formations on top of lakes and ponds

Ice cream and thirstiness

Ice Cubes

cloudiness vs. clarity

shape of, in home freezers

Ignition, key release button on

Index fingers, stroking of

IRS and due date of taxes

 

 

 

“K” as strikeout in baseball scoring

Ketchup, neck bands on

Knuckles, wrinkles on

Kodak, origins of name

 

 

 

Lakes

effect of moon on

ice formations on

vs. ponds

Lane reflectors, fastening of

Large-type books, size of

Lasagna, crimped edges of

Letters

Liberal arts, origins of

Light bulbs

halogen

high cost of 25-watt variety

noise when shaking

plinking by fluorescent

 

 

 

M&Ms, peanuts in plain

Macadamia nuts and shells

Magazines

address labels on

jumps in

Magazines
(cont.)

subscription insert cards in

Mail

CAR-RT SORT on envelopes

undeliverable

Mail-in refunds, vs. coupons

Marching, stepping off on left foot when

Margarine sticks, length of

Marshals’ badges, shape of

Meat, age and doneness preferences in

Meat loaf, taste of in institutions

Menthol, coolness of

Milk cartons, design of

Milk cases, warnings on

Milk in refrigerators, coldness of

Mint, U.S., and shipment of coin sets

Montreal Canadiens uniforms

Moon

effect on lakes and ponds

official name of

Mosquitoes

biting and itching

daytime habits of

male vs. female eating habits of

Movie actors and speed of speech

 

 

 

Nabisco Shredded Wheat box, Niagara Falls on

National Geographics
, saving of

Newspapers, jumps in

New York City and steam in streets

Niagara Falls on Nabisco Shredded Wheat box

911 as emergency telephone number

 

 

 

Oceans

salt in

vs. seas

Oil; automobile, after oil change

Orange juice, price of fresh vs. frozen

Oxygen masks, inflation of airline

 

 

 

Paper mills, smell of

Penguins, knees of

Penmanship of doctors

Pens, disappearance of

Pepper, and salt, as table condiments

Pepsi-Cola, and trademark location

“Pi” as geometrical term

Pigs and curly tails

Pitcher’s mound, location of

Plug prongs

holes at end of

three prongs vs. two prongs

Plum pudding, plums in

Ponds

effect of moon on

ice formations on

vs. lakes

Postal Service, U.S., and undeliverable mail

Potato chips

green tinges in

Potato chips
(cont.)

price of, vs. tortilla chips

Pubic hair, curliness of

 

 

 

Rabbits and nose wiggling

Radio Shack and lack of cash registers

Railroad crossings and EXEMPT signs

Ranchers and old boots on fence posts

Rear admiral, origins of

Rhode Island, origins of name of

Rice Krispies, noises of

Roads

blacktop, coloring of

fastening of lane reflectors on

vs. bridges, in freezing characteristics

Roman numerals on clocks

 

 

 

Salt

in oceans

and pepper, as table condiments

Scabs, itchiness of

Sea vs. ocean

7UP, origins of name

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