Divorced Dating and Damn Drama (22 page)

I call in my order and pull up. Today, true to most days, I manage to hit every single pot hole on my way over. When I go inside I happen to see Megan, one of the jury members
I served with. Can I talk to her? I'm not sure
. I think I can. Well I was in Gossip magazine talking about it so I can't do much more damage. I approach her and notice a long scar on her face. She never had that before
. Maybe she did and just covered it up with makeup.

"Hi Megan." I wave at her.

"Hi Marissa, how are you?" Megan asks. I respond then ask her. "Good, I'm just, I don't know." Megan says looking around worried.

"What do you mean?" I say going up to the counter and asking about my order. Another ten minutes, just my luck. Megan and I sit down in the waiting area.

"I think I'm being followed," she whispered.

"What do you mean?" I ask. If she is being followed and I was being followed that means someone from the trial could be following us.

"I was walking to my car and I swear I was followed. I went to the police and they called me crazy. "She said.

"I thought I was being followed too. I hired a private investigator and he called me crazy" I admitted.

"This isn't about you Marissa, why do you always need attention." She shouts. Then gets up and grabs her pizza. Hello, I was trying to connect with you. Letting you know you were not alone. I try so hard to connect with someone and it blows up in my face. It would have been nice to have someone who didn't think it was all in my head. My name is then called and I go up to collect the pizza.

As I am driving home I am forced to make an abrupt stop. There is a man standing in the middle of the road. Just standing there. He is dressed in all black and wearing a wolf Halloween mask. He is looking at the road. Just staring at the road. What an odd fellow. I lay on the horn. "Come on!" I shout. What? The pizza is going to get cold. The logical thing to do when someone is in the middle of the road is honk thus making them aware that there is a car wanting to pass. He doesn't move; he just keeps staring at the ground. I have to back up and go into the ditch to maneuver around him. Weird people acting weird. I should write a blog or something.

As I drive away I look in my rear view mirror but he is gone. Good, he got out of the way then. It's not only that he prevented me from getting to my destination without going into the ditch, but he really could have gotten hurt. What if I didn't stop in time? What if I didn't see him? It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt.

I have noticed what I have begun to call "lazy Gossip town". Many people seem to think it is entirely up to the rest of the world to support them while they are being lazy. I personally am all for being lazy, however I don't feel that my money should support other people's laziness.

"I'm just trying to get fired." Said Cody sipping on yet another beer. This is the third since I arrived to what I
only can assume is his nephews birthday party. I would not
have showed up if I knew that our date was really me crashing a ten year olds party in the park. I watch the birthday boy hit at a piñata that is being moved up and down by what looks like the farther, whom is also drinking. One hand holds the rope to the piñata and the other holds a beer. What a classy family.

"Why?" I ask directing my attention back in my date.

"I hate my job." Cody states taking another sip.

"How will you pay your bills?' I ask generally concerned.

"Unemployment." He says then starts coughing. I feel out of place but I start thumping his back with the palm of my hand trying to help. He stops coughing and goes back to drinking.

"That's not right; my tax dollars go to funding that." I say looking around at the other party guests
.
I
can see a teenager swerving as he walks to the cooler of beer.
I think he is already wasted but I'm not a cop and this is none of my business.

"You don't know what it's like working in a dead end job." he says. Hello! I do work a dead end job.

"Yes, I do." I say keeping an eye on the teenager.

"Well you are not me, you don't want something better." He says reaching for the birthday cake, that is uncut. He takes his fork and sticks it right in the middle pulling out some chocolate cake and eating it. It's not his birthday so he really should be more respectable.

"I do want something better." I say pushing the cake out of reach as he goes for a second bite.

"Then why aren't you trying to get fired?" He scoffs and then drinks some more beer.

"Because unemployment is supposed to be a hand up not a hand out." I get up and start gathering his empty beer cans, then proceed to put then in the recycle bin.

"It is free money, that's what it is." He says then proceeds to burp.

"Well I wish you the best of luck then." I say searching for my keys in my purse.

"Wait, what about my meal? Who is going to pay for this?" Cody asks clearly wasted when I get up to leave.

"Ask the government!" I shout. This is a birthday party and I am the bitch who crashed it. Way to go Mar, I think to myself. However this isn't about me, this is about him. Getting fired just so you can live on unemployment is wrong. I know people do it but it doesn't make it right. I hate my job, I hate my life but I don't just get fired and go on unemployment. Sometimes I think there is something seriously wrong with people online. It just makes me think;" why am I working so hard when the people who represent the majority of the population think the same way as Cody?" What do they plan to do when their unemployment runs out anyways? Go on Welfare?

Sara bursts into my room and exclaims "you are ready." I am at my computer with my little desk fan trying to stay cool in my underwear. What? It's hot out.

"Ready for what?" I ask, confused.

"The red dress." Sara squeals.

"What?" I respond only half listening consumed in my solitaire game. What? It is addicting. I am easily amused.

"You are ready to wear the bright red dress with cut out sides. Well they are filled with lace." Sara explains.

"Ok." I say, turning back to my computer. She grabs my arm and drags me into her studio. She forces the tight little red dress on me and sits me at her new cosmetic table,
then gets to work. A half hour later I lo
ok like some glamazon. She stopped trying to make cosmetics so the stuff she is using on my face is fine... I think. She then rips me from my seat and shoves me in front of the camera and starts clicking away. New photos, new profile and a new fake me is posted on line. I get to talking to a lot of healthy people. Crazy healthy if you ask me.

No, I do not want to take your supplements. Why? Because I like real food. Yes I know I would go a lot farther if I stop eating, but I'm not going to. I like food, that's a real thing, liking food. The guys I date don't look at me, they look through me. Maybe because the guy behind me ordered a double cheeseburger while we both have wilted salad. Why can't I have ranch? I don't care if it's unhealthy. Boobs, yes they look bigger, no it's just padding. My cheeks look slimmer, oh yeah, that is called contouring make up. No, I don't know if I can create this look again. I didn't even create this to begin with.

I flee to the library one hot Saturday afternoon. I open the doors, oh books how I love you. I find the science fiction section and begin to pick out a book. Suddenly I sense a figure standing behind me. Oh no, this is it, I'm going to die. "Long time no see." That voice, oh no. It must be my ex. To be honest I wish it had been my stalker hell bent on murdering me. What? Yes, I am overreacting but I do hate Henry. Oh, God, he is right beside me and definitely invading my personal space. Why do people from my past keep talking to me? Isn't this breaking some sort of social etiquette rule? I mean I'm in a library, people aren't supposed to talk in here.

"I'm busy Henry." I scoff. Then I begin go to walk away and he grabs my arm.

"What is this?" He pulls me close; I look around to see if anyone sees. "We used to be so close." He whispers embracing me.

I shove him away. "Yeah, but then you cheated on me. Remember." I shouted. I didn't mean to. It just happened. I have volume control issues

"This is a library Mar, show some respect." Henry leans in to caress my check. I shove past him and
scurry out to my car. No book for me then. I'm such a
coward. I go home to tell the only person who talks to me: Sara.

"This is amazing" Shouts Sara now dancing around the house.

"What are you talking about? I was just accosted in a library. This is awful." I cry sitting on the couch taking a sip of Sara's glass of red wine.

"But don't you get it? With him wanting you back, you now not only have the upper hand, but also you're totally attractive?" She exclaims sitting down beside me on the couch.

"Upper hand for what?" I ask, taken back

"For when you take him back." She says with all seriousness.

"I'm not taking him back." I say through gritted teeth. I find that I am gripping a throw pillow, close to ripping it apart.

"I'm just saying; now it's an option. An option you didn't have before." She scoffs on the defensive.

That same day I go to the store to get some soda. But apparently Isabel had plans of her own and she tracked me down in the Gossip store. You know Isabel-the girl who slept with my husband, but I have found out that that is not a rare occurrence, he apparently
gets around.
So I'm there minding my own business in a back lot store struggling to lift 10lb boxes
of Gossip Soda
. Here everything is like boxed whine. It's a 10lb box with a spicket on one end. What? Some people can't afford bottles or cans. So Isabel comes over, dressed as an overpriced hooker, and stands there waiting for me to finish struggling with the box and place it safely in the cart.

"So you want Henry back." She snaps inhaling the contents of her cigarette. I think it's illegal to smoke inside now, but no one is going to stop Henry's whore. She is like Mrs. Gossip. She latched on Henry rising to power and now she has positioned herself at Henry's side. I don't think people like Isabel but they won't say a word against her. Because a word against Isabel is, in fact, a word against Henry and God forbid anyone on this planet does that.

"Not even to save my miserable life." I say, in an irate voice.

"Then why were you hitting on him at the library?" She demands blowing smoke in my face.

"Because I'm just a big skank." I cry in sarcasm pushing my cart. She grabs hold of the front and stops me.

"I knew it, I knew you wanted him. You breathe one breath on him and I will end you!" She threatens followed by a coughing fit. See kids? Smoking is bad.

"Oh thank God, now I have a way out." I sing.

"This isn't a game." She shouts in frustration.

"I don't know; it is pretty gamy where I'm standing. And you don't even have a ring, honestly." I lean into her."Henry is a lying cheat; I would get out before you lose it all." I warn.

"I love him and he loves me." She hisses.

"But he always came home to me didn't he? Think about that!" I spit.

"And now you don't have a home at all." She laughs taking another puff.

I have no idea why I just piss people off some times. I have no real motive to get her rattled and maybe if she didn't stalk me with the intent of threatening me, then I wouldn't have done it. Look at me, I sound like a criminal already. All justifying my actions and everything. "I'm a danger to myself and others." I whisper to myself as I leave the store with my boxed soda.

The next day I got up early to go for a run. What? This is the new and improved me. I have been working out once a week and trying to run in the mornings on Sunday when it is cooler. It is cooler in the mornings. I jog by the convenience story, the illegal chop shop, the pound I got my kitties from, and the Bank.
Oh, I stop. I haven't gotten my
credit card bill this month. So I decide to go in and have a friendly chat with them. I know the bank and credit card company are two very different things but I'm already here. I go in and wait in line. It's a bank, there is always a line. So I'm standing there singing to myself because apparently that's what I do when I stand in lines. I start looking around while singing to myself and notice a penny on the floor. Guess what? Its heads up. I could really use some luck in my life; so naturally, I bend down to pick it up. Wizz. Something whizzes over my head and hits what looks like an ancient roman vase located diagonally from me. The vase shatters, pieces of the vase and dirt free falls to the floor. Everyone is shouting and yelling. Children are crying and the mothers are just hysterical. The big metal security gates fall down along all the windows and where the tellers are located. A speaker comes on and says: "We have released our
security gates to insure the safety of our customers.
The police have been called and are on their way." Really? You called the police because your vase broke. Really? I'm stuck here because the vase broke. What is this a museum? Come on over to see where the multimillion dollar vase broke. So I sit down and wait for this whole charade to be over.

The police come in and do the cop thing where they think they are Gods and everyone must listen and obey them. So they go about pushing their weight around, and I'm just sitting here. I only partially hear conversations because I really am only partially listening. The gist of what happened was that someone took a shot from outside and hit the vase. What the vase do to be murdered I will never know. The cops are worried that a murder is on the loose. We already knew that, because two jury members were murdered, probably by the guy who stalked and killed his victim. You remember the trial I was a jury member for. Yes. So yeah. Mass murder is on the loose. Good job Henry and Judge Right. You guys are truly making the world a little more like hell every day.

When the whole shebang was over I regained my position in line and continued to wait. When I got to the counter, the woman informed me that I needed to call the number on the back of my credit card. They informed me that they did send it and since I am late for my payment, they are not only going to charge me a late payment fee, but also charge me to resend the bill. This is my life people. This is it.