Divided (39 page)

Her horse climbed the hill quickly, far more quickly than
she’d moved up any hill on this journey.  Feeling the grass of the plain
disappear beneath her horse was invigorating, and she pushed the horse a little
harder.  Her legs hurt from squeezing so tightly, but the freedom of moving like
this was too much of a distraction for her to care. 

At the top of the next hill, she saw Leif.  He’d caught up
to the back of her horse, but she kept the pinto horse moving so that he was
unable to overtake her.  They remained like that as they moved down the next
hill.  The speed increased with much less effort from the horse, and Aela eased
up her feet a little bit.  The poor mare must be tired, after such a hard run. 
She would have to keep going, as well.

Leif, though, was not having any of this.  His horse moved
so that it was directly beside Aela, and she could see the way he’d bent over
and was very intent on surpassing the speed of her horse.  With renewed
frustration, she pushed her horse again and caught back up as they reached the
bottom of the hill. 

The next climb was a little steeper.  Aela had to keep a
constant push on her horse to ensure that it didn’t slow down.  Oddly enough,
she found herself giggling and thought idly that this wasn’t very boyish of
her.  They moved the two horses almost in sync with one another, until the very
last leg of the hill, Leif yanked his horse in front of Aela’s, causing her
horse to stagger just enough so that he reached the top of the hill first,
where he stopped.

She wasn’t going to let him win, and fully intended to keep
going once she reached it—just like he had, but the sight at the top of the
hill—the one Leif was staring at, gave her pause.  A black castle exploded over
an expanse of sparkling buildings surrounded by a moat of brown.  Telandus. 
“There it is,” Leif exhaled through panting breaths.

“We made it!” she cried as a sort of ecstatic joy broke into
her heart.  All the worry she’d had about starving or dying out here faded away
at the sight of the ominous city.  Sure, it didn’t look very inviting—but
they’d made it—she’d made it!

Leif laughed, still gasping for breaths, just as she was. 
The race had left them tired, but they both seemed in better spirits for it. 
“We did indeed,” he said, but then a clouded look came over his face, “but
don’t think this means I didn’t beat you.  Because we both know that I did, and
I even gave you a head start!”

“You beat me because you didn’t stop!  You have no concern
for your horse,” she retorted without so much as a second’s pause.

Leif laughed, and they proceeded forward.  They would be at
the gates of Telandus by sunset, and that meant that they had to be prepared to
sell their story.  That meant that they would have to pass the next difficult
obstacle in their way.  Telandus, she thought.  It didn’t look much better here
than it had in her dreams.

They walked in silence, aside from Leif making a few jabs at
her about the race that he’d cheated to win.  “Remember, my name is Feil
Riand,” he told her earnestly, as the sun sank and the gate came into view.

The walls of Telandus were black and frightening, and the
gate sat between two watch towers.  Letting her eyes move around the edges of
the city, she could see a few places were one might be able to get into the
city without having to pass by the guards.  She thought about suggesting this,
but upon closer inspection, the climber of the wall would have to be very aware
of the guards’ watches and how to climb effectively.

“And mine is Aelic Eirgold,” she said, “what of it?”

“Don’t be a smart mouth, princess,” he said gently.  “Just
know that these men may not be kind.”  He seemed protective, oddly enough. 
Protective didn’t really fit Leif, but she found that when he displayed the
trait, her heart beat a couple of times faster.

They approached the gate, and Leif dismounted his horse,
gesturing for her to stay on hers.  She had the panicking sensation that they
might kill him, and she might be supposed to run.  How could she leave him? 
No, she wouldn’t.

She watched as he approached the gate, speaking up to the
guards in the tower.  A few moments later, the gate opened and two men walked
out.  Leif gestured for her to come forward with his head, and she did so,
dismounting the horse.

The two men greeted them with little more than curt,
uninviting nods.  Aela elected not to speak, as her voice may have betrayed her
here.  The men took their bags and went to work disassembling both of them. 
Aela’s eye twitched, and Leif put a very gentle hand on her back.  These men
hadn’t even spoken to them, and they were tearing through Leif and Aela’s
belongings like they owned them.

Her frown increased consistently as they continued to tear
through food and other amenities.  Finally, after what felt like an entire sun,
they pulled back.  They searched the horses briefly, and then one of them
yanked Aela towards them.  She saw the anger, the contortion of complete fury
on Leif’s face, in that moment.  “What are you doing?” he growled.

The man had begun moving his hands down her clothing,
patting every part of her with far more familiarity than he should have.  The
other one suddenly began doing the same to Leif.  “Another part of the search,”
one of the men said gruffly.

Leif kept watching the one pat Aela down, and she had
several bouts of panic that her breasts would be noticeable even beneath the
wrap.  As he watched, though, Leif let out a feral, sort of growl, and then he
scoffed.

To her surprise, one of the men laughed, “We get that a
lot.”

At last, both of them pulled back and looked mildly
satisfied.  Neither of them looked kind, but they didn’t look as unemotional as
they had before.  Leif let out a shaking breath as he glanced at their horses. 
“We’ll need your weapons, and then you’re clean,” the man said, and Aela felt
as though the entire city of Telandus had been lifted from her shoulders.  Though,
as the men took their weapons for storage, Aela felt a pang of sadness.  She
had become very attached to the bow that she would not be seeing for some time,
and without it, she felt a little vulnerable.  Sparing a glance at Leif, she’d
wager that he felt the same about his swords.

“You’ll find plenty of inns to suit your needs.  We’ll take
your horses to the stables over there,” the man gestured with his head to a
brown building on the outside wall.

When Aela squinted, she could make out a few horses and men
along the outside of it.  Leif nodded his head brusquely.  “Obliged,” he said, a
little bitingly.  The guards gave them all the bags that were on the horse and
shooed them into the gates.

The moment they were on the other side, Aela saw
it—Telandus.  The real Telandus.  The black wall had hidden what it really
was—which was just a city.  The houses were brown and low-slung.  The place was
a bit poorer looking than the Lower Town in Cathalar, but the people were much
the same.  Traders darted back and forth, and workers intermingled with them. 
Stalls were set up with all sorts of items, and she could even make out a few
shops towards the back of the main street.  “This is certainly not the blood-soaked
city of my nightmares,” she said curiously.

“Don’t be so sure,” Leif said doubtfully.  “We’ve only just
arrived.”

“The first step will always be the longest stride.”

-A Hero’s Peace v.i

Thoughts were fairly easy to purge from his mind, but
feelings, Taeru had discovered, were another matter entirely.  No matter how
much he tried to force his mind and heart to think of other things—the memory
of that bloody kiss pounded through him like a pulse of thunder.  His lips felt
as though they were on fire, even a cycle after the kiss.  Taeru knew that he
ought to be fearful for his life, considering Tareth’s brother knew who he
was—but he was not afraid of Calis.  He couldn’t force himself to be afraid of
Calis.

The fears that he kept having were much less sensible. 
Calis had returned on a few occasions since that kiss, and every time he had
acted much the same as the times before.  Yet, Taeru couldn’t shake the feeling
that the prince would eventually tire of whatever was going on between them. 
If nothing else, surely Calis would tire of Taeru’s continued reluctance.  Or
worse—when Taeru finally stopped fighting—Calis would suddenly realize that he
was, well, not so wonderful.

“You ought to give in, Kilik,” Alyx cooed at him, for what
he was certain must have been the millionth time in the past two suns.  Calis
had yet to show up in the past few suns, and though Alyx was trying to convince
Taeru that he ought to just have fun with Calis, Taeru was unsure that he would
ever see Calis again.  Every time the prince left, Taeru felt himself
foundering in a world of uninitiated rejection.  Why should Calis waste so much
time with him?  Unless Calis was out to obtain some relic of information from
Taeru, which Taeru was finding more and more difficult to believe.  “Just be
with him.  If I’m not going to be able to fulfill my dream of being swept off
my feet by Prince Calis—then I will be hanged before I let you spurn it!”

The corner of Taeru’s mouth twitched into the slightest of
frowns at the statement.  Swept off his feet?  Hardly.  His jaw clenched,
though, in a sort of defense against the heated inflammation of his lips at the
memory of the kiss.  Calis had yet to kiss him again, though to say that
smoldering expression in his eyes said that he’d considered it was an
understatement.  So what was he waiting on?  Perhaps he hadn’t even liked the
kiss, and Taeru was imagining his expression. 

I sound like Alyx.  What is the matter with me?

“Be with him?” Taeru snarled.  “I cannot just be with the
crown prince of Telandus, Alyx.  Do you have any idea the number of reasons
that I cannot just be with him?”  She frowned, pursing her lips a little.  The
funny part was that she didn’t know half of the reasons that Taeru could never
be with the crown prince of Telandus.

Alyx sighed warily.  “Fair enough.  I know that you don’t
think it will last, and I’m sure he will eventually be betrothed to some silly
noblewoman, but why not enjoy it while you have the chance?”

The thought was repulsive.  With his own heart acting like a
drum played by a madman, he did not trust himself enough to have a playful
little fling with the crown prince of Telandus.  For starters, the amount of
trouble he could wind up in was obscene, and to add on to that, Taeru knew
nothing about having meaningless romances.  Then again, he didn’t know much
about having meaningful relationships, either.

Not that he would ever have one of those with Calis Tsrali. 
“I do not want to just enjoy it while I have the chance,” he hissed.  The pain
in his voice worried him—he hadn’t even felt that much hurt, had he?  He knew
that he and Calis were nothing more than a wild flower, growing in some field
that would soon be trimmed to make way for more appropriate, planned flowers. 

For some reason, this seemed to cause Alyx a great amount of
distress.  Taeru had been working to be nice to her since the moon when she’d
been stood up by her date, and subsequently wandered around just long enough to
be cornered by the nobles.  She had been shaken up for a few suns, but as always,
Alyx had recovered.  Taeru was currently a little concerned that Alyx may find
a way to murder the man who had abandoned her.  “Oh, Kilik,” she said softly,
“you like him that much?”

His cheeks turned a furious shade of red, and he shook his
head vehemently.  If he had meant anything by his statement, it was certainly
not that.  His teeth clicked together with a snap, and his hand clenched. 
“That was not what I meant, Alyx.  I am just not interested in flings that
could get me murdered!”

“I don’t think Calis would let anything happen to you.  He
seems too concerned for you.”  Her words should have held a little more value
than they did, but Taeru was trying very hard to get past how much attention
Calis had wasted on him.

The fact remained that Calis had been gone for a while now,
which meant that Taeru ought to be working on not thinking about him in his
absence.  Surely, the absences would get longer and longer until he stopped
showing up.  That would be the best case scenario—because the other one would
involve Lavus or Tareth finding out and Taeru being hanged in a very
humiliating fashion.

Not that there was any other way to be hanged.

“I am going for a walk,” he declared.  She stared at him,
with a frown that was slowly eclipsing the rest of her face.  He didn’t want to
be here with her anymore, where he would be forced to think about Calis Tsrali
constantly.

She stared at him for a long moment, and finally asked, “I
guess you don’t want me to come with you?”

“No,” he said, without hesitation.  He should have worked
harder to make sure that he didn’t offend her, but he was far too angry with
himself at this point to worry about it.  She knew precisely what was wrong
with him, anyway—and she knew that it wasn’t her.  “Apologies, Alyx.  I just
need to think.”

“Don’t think too hard,” she said gently, “you’ll hurt
yourself.”

With a ghost of a laugh, he nodded and headed out of the
house.  Aitken, as always, was running about in the front yard, if it could be
called such.  He offered a quick wave to Taeru as the young man took his
leave.  Taeru made sure to return it, though.

Taeru’s walks were never premeditated, as he found that when
they were—he wasted most of the time that he had to think on figuring out how
to get where he wanted to go.  No, he preferred to just let his feet walk for
him.  He walked through the market, returning the few greetings that he got
while he moved through it. 

Why could he not stop thinking about Calis?  Why was he
letting himself get so wrapped up in this pathetic excuse for a romance?  They
would never be anything more than two people more different than could ever be
overcome.  Calis was an absurdly charming, incredibly desirable, prince.  Taeru
was… well, perhaps he had once been thought of in that exact same fashion.

Taeru certainly wouldn’t think to call himself desirable—not
in the way that Calis was.  Calis had charm, and he seemed to know what to do
in every situation.  Taeru had always been at a loss in social situations. 
Regardless, even if they were both princes—they were not only considered mortal
enemies by all who knew them for who they truly were, but they were both male. 

Men did not court other men—not when they were royalty. 
Surely, there were plenty of relationships between men among the commoners, but
not among people that would be expected to produce heirs.  Calis had seemed so
oddly set on the two of them, though.  He had asked Taeru to let him make it
happen.  But he couldn’t make it happen!  It would not work.  It could not work.

If he knew who you were, do you know how quickly he’d cut
your throat?  No, first, he’d tie your hands and give you to his brother—who
could put you in your place rather quickly.

Not the whispers again, Taeru thought.  Just when he’d been
about to resolve his thoughts, he could hear the pull of the voices at his
ear.  At once, his wrist and shoulder began to ache with unknown pain.  He
tried to ignore the voice.  Calis certainly wouldn’t hate him so much if he
found out—which he never would—but Taeru had not been trying to spy.  He had
just been trying to get away from Cathalar—to find another way to stop the war.

He wouldn’t know that, and he wouldn’t care.  You are a
Lassau, and that means that he would want to give you the most painful of
deaths.  Yet, fool that you are, you allow yourself to be drawn into that trap
like a guileless rat.

Taeru breathed slowly, urging the voices from his mind. 
Some of the words were true, and the more he listened, the truer they became. 
Calis was a Tsrali, and if he knew who Taeru was—he would hate him just like
every other Tsrali would.  And how did Taeru know that Calis would never find
out? 

You think that family will be in trouble if your identity
as the Phantom Blade is discovered?  Imagine if what you really were…

No!  He didn’t want to think about that.  He couldn’t think
like that.  He hadn’t told Alyx and Juliet for that reason.  Lavus wouldn’t
care about them—so long as he had Taeru.  No, that wouldn’t happen.  Taeru
would make sure of it.  But as the whispers continued, he felt anger pulse
through him, and he slammed his back against the black stone wall to which he’d
walked.  Why wouldn’t they stop?  Why couldn’t he make them stop?

A flash of the seedling appeared in his mind.  He could feel
it, somewhere on the other side of the wall.  It was out there—and he knew it
was real.  The dreams were a precursor to something terrible, and something
that he might be bringing on himself.  That obelisk in his mind flickered to
life, and he could see it opening—feel those tendrils wrapping around his
wrist.  But, maybe that would be better—maybe if he just died, he could stop
whatever his dream was trying to tell him.  Was that how he could fix it?

Yes, yes it is.  Come here, little prince.  Come here,
and you can save everyone.  That’s all you want, isn’t it?  After all the
mistakes you’ve made, you deserve death…

Maybe… maybe.  No, he couldn’t listen to the voice in his
head.  He remembered his dream, and how he’d known that if he let that thing
pull him into it that both Telandus and Cathalar would pay dearly for it.  No,
whatever was going on in his mind would surely not be resolved by his death. 
There was something far larger at work.

That is just your self-preservation talking.  You don’t
want your death to be required.

Stop, stop, stop.  He couldn’t make the voice stop.  Pain
seared up his arm, and he thought he wanted to slam his back into the wall
again.

Worthless…

Stop.

Worthless… useless… why are you even bothering?  What are
you hoping to accomplish?

“Stop!” the voice rattled him, and he realized that it
wasn’t the whisper anymore.  In fact, that singular, commanding voice had
chased the voice in his head away.  Only then did Taeru realize that his eyes
had been closed, and that he hadn’t been the one telling the voice to stop. 
There was a grip on his arms.  His eyes flickered open, and he glanced up. 
Calis.  “What are you doing?” the prince hissed.

Taeru didn’t understand for a moment.  He wondered idly if
he was standing somewhere that he shouldn’t be, but as he glanced to Calis’s
hands on him, he realized that he held a jagged chunk of stone.  Where had he
gotten that?  His wrist, no, his entire forearm throbbed with pain, and he saw
the reddened and raw skin.  “I…”  He felt panic welling up inside him.  He must
have been scraping the stone against his skin in frustration.

Well, if Calis hadn’t thought him unworthy before, then he
was sure to now.  Perhaps that was for the best.  Yet, Taeru’s body would not
stop trembling.  “Why were you doing that?” Calis asked again.  The blue-green
eyes were wide, and though they looked angry, they also looked worried.

“I don’t know,” Taeru whimpered.  Not entirely truthful, but
at least he wasn’t having to lie entirely.  He hadn’t known that he was even
hurting himself.  He pulled his arms away and cleared his throat.  “I didn’t…
realize…”  This sounded really bad when he heard himself speaking.  If Taeru
was fortunate, Calis would smack him upside the head and walk away without
another word.  If he was not… well…

However, Calis just stood there for a few moments.  Without
warning, he grabbed Taeru by the shoulder and steered him to a well nearby. 
With a few quick movements, Calis hoisted some water up from the supply and
pulled a kerchief from his pocket, wet it, and then put it against Taeru’s
heated skin.  “You looked terrified,” Calis said dismally.

I was. 
Taeru stared at the damp kerchief pressed
against his skin.  The soothing effect was coupled with a bit of pain from the
pressure, but he was sure that it was worth it.  Calis had not reacted in a
predictable fashion. “Well, it was… I was…”  Then, a strange thought occurred
to him.  “Wait!  What do you mean?  Were you following me?”

This time, Calis’s pale skin turned a crimson red, and his
eyes widened.  “This isn’t about me!  I wasn’t the one causing harm to myself!”

“You were!” Taeru snapped.  So, Calis was trying to get some
sort of information from him!  But, then why would he have interfered with
whatever weirdness Taeru was doing?  If he had wanted information, what better
time to get it than when Taeru seemed drowned in his own fears?  Still, why
else would Calis be following Taeru?  “Why were you following me?  I don’t have
anything worth taking.”

To Taeru’s utter dismay and shock, Calis looked genuinely
hurt by this statement.  “You think I was following you with the intention of
hurting you in some way?”

Quickly, Taeru tried to remedy his mistake.  He didn’t want
Calis to think that he didn’t trust him.  But, he didn’t trust Calis.  Why
should he trust Calis?  Maybe he did trust Calis.  But, Calis had just followed
him.  There was nothing trustworthy about that.  “No, I think you’re spying on
me.  Why are you spying on me?”