Dimitri's Forbidden Submissive (Submissive's Wish) (14 page)

Fucking hell, her stupid, soft heart always got her in trouble. With a sigh she took his hand, trying to ignore the obvious relief on his face and the little electric zing she got when they touched. He led her to the edge of the canyon and sat, pulling her down next to him. She kicked at some stray pebbles and her stomach dropped as they fell over the edge, and she imagined what would happen if she fell. As if sensing her fear, Dimitri put his hand over her hip and pulled her a little further back, next to him.

“Say what you have to say Dimitri, and get your hand off me.”

His hand tightened on her hip for a moment, and her hormones took notice before he removed it. “Did you read about Curse?”

“It just said something about it, I think with your grandfather.”

“
Da
, started there with that bastard.” The raw anger in his words startled her and she glanced over at him, but he wasn’t looking at her. “Is rule among most of the Bratva to never involve women and children in disputes.”

Confused, she nodded. “Okay.”

“Many, many years ago, my grandfather broke rule. He kidnapped the wife of another
Pakhan
, a leader of the Boldin Bratva. Something happened, went wrong during kidnapping, and she was killed. In retaliation, the Boldin Bratva killed my grandmother and her daughter, my great aunt. Insane with grief, my grandfather…is not good story but it resulted in the death of many young girls of the Boldin Bratva. Then my grandfather and the Boldin leader died, and my father and the leader of the Boldin Bratva met in secret, swearing to end the blood feud, both having lost so much.”

“Oh my god.” She placed her hand over her mouth, trying to not imagine what he meant by that. “That’s terrible.”

“Gets worse.” He blindly reached out to her and she took his hand, squeezing it hard as the tension rolled off of him in almost visible waves, like the heatwaves off summer-sunshine-baked pavement. “One night, over thirty years ago, someone killed the Boldin leader’s young wife, pregnant with their first child. Was brutal slaying and the blame was laid at my father’s feet.”

“Did he…do you think he did it?”

Dimitri’s lips thinned. “He is evil man, but no. He loved his wife too much.”

“What do you mean?”

“My father was married to my half-brother Alex’s mother first. Two days after Boldin’s wife was slaughtered, someone…did same to Alex’s mother.”

He sucked in a harsh breath, and without thinking, she moved so she could kneel next to him and hug him the best she could. The pain pouring off of him was incredible. “I’m so sorry.”

“My father remarried my mother, and though he did not love her like Alex’s mother, he did love her in his own way. He tried to keep her safe. For years there was uneasy truce between Novikov and Boldin families, a time during which my mother gave birth to me and my older sister.” A hard shudder worked through him. “When I was eleven and my sister was fourteen, they were killed.”

“Murdered?”

“I think so, but it appeared to be a random car accident, but my father did not believe it. In terrible history repeating my father ordered the deaths of the leader of the Boldin Bratva’s wife and two young daughters.”

She stroked his back, the shudders working through him hard enough that she was surprised his teeth weren’t chattering. “He ordered me and Alex to do it, along with a handful of his assassins.”

“Wait, you were only eleven! He ordered his eleven-year-old son to go kill some young girls?”

“Told you, he lost mind. His grief ate his sanity.”

“Did you do it?”

He looked at her, held her gaze and slowly shook his head. “I did not, we did not. What he was ordering was no good for Bratva. But next day the women died in house fire.”

“Shit.” When he pulled her onto his lap and wrapped his arms around her she let him, her heart aching for him. “So that’s why you won’t love a woman? Ever?”

He nodded, his face buried against her hair. “When my father dies, it may be different. I…there are things I cannot tell you, but it may be different.”

“That’s a terrible way to live. Does your brother…is he the same way? I mean does he make sure he doesn’t love a woman?”

The silence stretched out between them and she comforted him the best she could, stroking his arms, his face, his shoulders, trying to give him the compassion and empathy he’d been forced to live without for his entire life.

“Alex…is not my story to tell.”

While she was curious, she’d also had about as much death and tragedy as she could take. “I understand why you would only see prostitutes, or kept women or whatever you call them, but why aren’t they in danger?”

“I do not care for them. Their death would not destroy a part of me.” He looked down at her and gave her a smile filled with such sadness that tears came to her eyes. “In perfect world, I would be able to court you, to win your heart. You are kind of woman I would marry.”

“What?”

“Is crazy, but the moment I saw you…you are different. I felt it, here.” He took her hand and placed it over his heart. “And the more I am around you, the more I fall under your spell. I find woman I could love, but cannot have her. I do not like my life right now.”

“Wow, this really sucks.” She blinked back tears and stroked his face. “I’m so sorry that you’ve had to live without love. I can’t imagine what that would be like.”

He closed his eyes then held her so tight she had trouble taking a breath. “If you do not know what you do not have it is bearable. Now…not so much.”

She shifted in his arms so she could straddle him. “I know we only have a little bit of time together, but I would like to stay with you, if that’s okay.”

His brows drew down as he frowned at her. “You not want to go?”

“Look, I don’t like the idea of you touching anyone, especially whores, but Dimitri, you deserve to be loved. While I understand why it can’t go any further than these two days, I’d like to give you what I can.”

Looking totally confused, he leaned back, his palms resting on the hard packed earth and the muscles of his thickly built body straining against his t-shirt. “Why?”

This whole situation was so weird that she floundered when she tried to explain it to him. “Honestly? I don’t have a rational explanation. I just know that everything inside of me wants to stay with you for as long as I can. You are a once-in-a-lifetime thing, Dimitri. If I don’t take advantage of being with you while you’re here I know I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.”

His shoulders flexed beneath her hands and he closed his eyes. “I do not want to hurt you, Rya. You have good heart, good soul. I am not a good man.”

“Yeah, well we all have a little darkness inside of us. I’m not saying that I’m cool with whatever it is you do, but I can’t deny the attraction between us. I’ve never wanted to jump a man’s bones as badly as I want yours.”

That made him open his eyes and his lips quirked. “What does that mean? Jumping bones?”

Flushing, she looked down and played with the collar of his shirt. “Just that I find you very attractive.”

He gave a low, almost purring sound and sat forward, wrapping his arms around her. “And I find you delicious.”

Unable to resist, she ran her fingers through his thick hair. “So,
volk moy
, are there any plans for a bed somewhere in our near future.”

He nuzzled his lips against her throat, the tip of his tongue tasting her skin. “I need to be inside you, Rya.”

She shivered as he began to kiss along her throat, the delicious scrape of his beard making his lips and tongue seem all the softer, driving her crazy. Something about Dimitri put her into some kind of crazy heat, like a biological imperative was sitting up and taking notice of the total Alpha male ready to take her and make her his. For a moment her heart ached at the thought that whatever it was going on between them wouldn’t last, but right now, she just wanted him.

“Take me someplace where I won’t have rocks or a cactus up my ass and I’m all yours to do with as you wish.”

His startled laughter made her smile and as she looked down at him, at the joy that she had a feeling very few people got to see on his face and wondered if she was already falling more than a little in love with her forbidden Master.

Dimitri relished the feeling of Rya’s arms around him, of her warmth pressed up against his back, and the way she’d slipped her hands beneath his jacket to rest them over his stomach. She seemed to love touching him and he had to admit, her sweet caresses aroused him to the point that he was sure the zipper of his jeans was going to leave a permanent mark on his hard cock. They were on their way to the resort he’d booked for them, and during the two and a half hour ride, they’d talked about their past.

He found himself being as open with her as he could, telling her things he thought were inconsequential, but she seemed to enjoy hearing. Rya, on the other hand, was an open book. Anything he asked her she would answer, as long as the question wasn’t embarrassing. Like when he’d asked her how she lost her virginity, her mortified groan came through loud and clear over the speakers in his helmet. Of course, her reluctance only made him want to know more.

“Rya, just tell me. It cannot be that bad.”

“Easy for you to say. Fine. So, I’d been dating this guy for seven months. I was in the eleventh grade and thought I was in love. You know how it is, that puppy love that seems to be all consuming?”

He answered more honestly than he’d intended. “No, I do not know. I have never been in love.”

The stroking of her fingers became more soothing than erotic and she hugged him tight. “Sorry, that was insensitive of me.”

“Is not your fault.” He didn’t like the sudden tension between them, or the reminder of the bleak world he was going to return to all too soon, but she deserved the truth. “Rya, I have no practice with how to deal with a woman I care for. This is all new to me. Is hard for me to even know how to express myself. I feel things for you that I cannot describe. The only things I know how to do well for a woman is to fuck her and spoil her.”

His heart ached at the kindness in her voice as she said, “Dimitri, you don’t have to try with me. Just be yourself. I like you for who you are.”

She was so trusting, and it hurt him somewhere deep inside his chest when he thought of Rya having to live in his violent, cold world. “I am killer. I am thief. I am ruthless man. That is who I am.”

“That’s not all you are,” she replied in a low voice as she continued to stroke his stomach. “You’re also honorable, kind, smart, funny, and you make me feel cherished. I’d say you’re doing pretty good for a first date.”

Her words pleased him immensely, and he wasn’t sure how to deal with the onslaught of forbidden emotions so he changed the subject. “Now why was losing your virginity embarrassing for you?

“Please don’t make me tell you.”

“Why? Is no big deal.”

“Fine, if it’s no big deal then how did you lose your virginity?”

“To a whore my father hired when I was thirteen to teach me how to fuck.”

Her shocked gasp and the feel of her fingernails digging into his stomach alerted him that he probably should have kept that information to himself. They were from such different worlds; things which were normal to him were totally foreign to her. But he didn’t want to lie to her. They didn’t have the rest of their lives to learn about each other, only an all too limited number of hours.

The fact that she’d managed to overlook his soiled past and see beyond the darkness of his soul still astonished him. Most women would have run screaming after reading the first line about the infamous Novikov blood which flowed through his veins. More importantly, while Rya had been pissed and scared, she was either brave enough, or compassionate enough, or both to still listen to what he had to say. She amazed him, and the bone-deep craving to keep her as his own tore at him.

Her soft voice, tinged with sorrow, filled his head. “You were only thirteen? That’s terrible.”

He shrugged, liking the way she was stroking his stomach in a soothing gesture. “For you that may be young, but by thirteen I’d already killed my first man.”

“What?”

He passed a slow moving car and let out a soft breath. “He was a bad man, Rya, a monster. I was with one of my father’s
kryshas
, Levka, a man who is enforcer and protector for my father’s business. One of our whores had gone missing and Levka was charged to find out what happened to her. He was very smart man, had a—what you call it— a knowing, a sixth sense about people. I do not think my father actually thought we would find anything, but we did. The whore had been kidnapped by a doctor who would take prostitutes, drug addicts, basically the dregs of society and harvest their organs to be sold on black market.”

“Oh my God.”

Her horrified whisper hurt his heart. “I am sorry, I did not mean to shock you.”

Cursing himself for being an idiot, he gunned the motorcycle, needing to feel the speed, to escape his demons.

Rya hugged him tight. “I’m glad he’s dead. I hate that you had to kill him, but I’m glad he’s dead.”

He turned her words over in his mind, finding it hard to believe that Rya would wish death on anyone. “You do not think I should have turned over to authorities?”

“No. I don’t know how it is in Russia, but in America, people slip through the cracks of the law all the time while others get locked up for absolute bullshit. My mom got two years for being caught driving with a bag of weed, while this drunk asshole a couple towns over did a hit-and-run with his truck on my dad. The guy in the truck totally blew a stop sign and struck my dad on his motorcycle, killing him, but because of some bullshit the drunk driver’s expensive lawyer pulled out of his ass the guy got away with just a fine.” She gave a laugh that wasn’t at all pleasant. “But we took care of him.”

He wished he could see her face right now, see if what he thought she was saying was indeed the truth. “What do you mean?”

“Sorry, can’t talk about it. Club business.” He couldn’t help but chuckle and she made an irritated noise. “What’s so funny?”