Dimitri's Forbidden Submissive (Submissive's Wish) (9 page)

Dimitri could imagine what happened next, but he quietly waited for her to continue.

“You know how when you’re a kid you feel like the rules that apply to the rest of the world don’t apply to you? That you’re invincible? That even gravity wouldn’t dare interfere with your life?”

“
Da
.”

“Yeah, well invincible me decided that I could play on the partially frozen pond, that I would just stay near the edge where the ice was thick and slide around on my boots. I swear I was being careful, but it started to snow, really hard, and I kind of became lost in my own mind. I was imagining…”

She looked away and stiffened again, making him want to know what she wasn’t saying. “What were you thinking,
zaika moya
?”

Off in the distance a bird sang its last song before night firmly took hold, and somewhere across the lake, a frog began to croak. He relished the sense of isolation he had out here with Rya, as if they were the only people for a thousand miles. “I was pretending that I was a Snow Fairy, that I was the size of a snowflake and I was dancing through the air. Unfortunately, I was heavier than a snowflake and…and I fell through.”

Her last words came out in a whisper and a visible shudder ripped through her. Holding her closer, he tucked her head beneath his chin and enjoyed the way she clung to him, easily accepting the comfort he offered her. She smelled good, like vanilla and spices, and he grazed her soft hair with his lips. Touching her reassured him that she was alive, warm, and safe. He would protect her, care for her, and take the fear from her eyes.

“If I tell you something, do you promise you won’t laugh? Or think I’m lying?”

“I swear.”

“I died that day, Dimitri. I really did. I was trapped beneath the ice for close to twenty minutes without oxygen. When they pulled me out my heart wasn’t beating. I was blue with cold.”

He found himself holding her tighter, reassuring himself with her warmth that she did survive, that she was really here. “How did you survive?”

“Well, the doctors say that the hypothermia, where your body cools way down really quick, managed to somehow keep enough oxygen in my brain to keep me alive, kind of like putting my brain into hibernation.”

“What do you remember?”

“I remember going in the water, and how my clothing instantly got so damn heavy. I remember not being able to breathe.” She shivered hard and almost convulsively gulped in a big breath of air before letting it out in a shuddering sigh. “That’s why I hate breath play, hate not being able to breathe. But that’s not all I remember.”

“I promise, I will never strangle or choke you. Any collar you wear will not constrict you. I swear it.” He hated the pain in her voice. “Do not talk about if the memory is bad.”

“Thanks.” To his surprise she laughed softly. “Are you sure you want to hear the next part? You may think I’m crazy.”

“I know many crazy people, you are not one of them.”

“You might disagree after you hear what I have to say, but okay. I lost consciousness, was just nothing in a vast universe of darkness. I could have been there for a few seconds, or a million years, I had no sense of time passing at all, it was just…nothing. I was nothing. Then I saw a light.” She paused as if waiting for him to say something, but when he didn’t she continued with more confidence in her voice. “I know it sounds like all those cheesy movies about people seeing a light at the end of a tunnel, blah blah blah bullshit, but I swear to God, I did. It was beautiful, Dimitri, the most amazing thing I’ve ever felt. It was like I was moving through the essence of joy, of love, of happiness. But there was someone waiting for me, someone standing between me and the light.”

The hair on his arms stood up and even though he chided himself that her memories were probably just the dreams of a girl suffering oxygen deprivation, the awe in her voice held him spellbound.

“It was my Dad.” Her tone choked up and she cleared her throat. “He hugged me, I felt him just as real as you are, and he told me that it wasn’t time yet. That I needed to live, to enjoy everything the world has to offer. He made me promise that I would live every day of my life to the fullest because there were things I must do, people I must meet, before I passed. We all have a purpose on Earth, a calling, but we aren’t just put here to learn and work, we’re also put here to enjoy. That’s what I try to do, to enjoy everything that the world has to offer so when I see my father again, he’ll know that I lived, really, truly lived.”

Stunned, Dimitri looked out over the water with unseeing eyes. Had she really died? Was it possible that a heaven he’d stopped believing in, a God he stopped acknowledging years ago was real? And if there was a God, was there also a devil? And who did his soul belong to?

Rya leaned back and ran her fingers through his hair, studying his face. “Are you okay?”

Such a compassionate woman. “I am okay.”

She sighed and continued to pet him. “I’m sorry I’m such a downer. I didn’t mean to kill the mood like that. My past is the ultimate cock block.”

“No, it is good that I know.” He placed a soft kiss on the tip of her little nose, then brushed away a few tears that wet her cheek. Laughter rumbled through him. “I am honored that you shared with me, and I do not think is a cock block.”

Her bright smile lit up his world. “Thanks for believing me. Most people think I’m crazy, even if they’re too polite to say it. You, Mr. Dimitri, are much nicer than you appear at first.”

“Only for you,
zaika moya
.”

He wanted to ask her more about it, but part of him was afraid of her answer to the question if there was a Hell. Then again, maybe Hell was that darkness she spoke of. An eternity spent in nothing. The thought made his gut churn and he wondered if God would forgive him for the men he killed. They had been bad people, all of them, yet he’d taken their lives.

“Dimitri?”

He returned his attention to her. “
Da
?”

“Don’t worry, you’ll go to the light.”

The shock made him jerk away from her. “How do you know?”

“I’m going to assume you’re asking how did I know what you were thinking. Don’t worry, I’m not psychic or anything like that. I’m just used to people considering their own mortality after they hear my story. Well, at least the ones that believe me. The others I know they’re thinking about how quickly they can get away from me,” She shrugged. “People in our society, or at least in the States, don’t like to think about death. It’s kind of like if we don’t think about it, then it won’t happen. So far ignoring it hasn’t worked out for anyone I know.”

She grinned at him and he shook his head, a slow smile curving his lips. “Good point.”

“Dimitri?”

The way she said his name, he enjoyed it. “What is it,
zaika moya
?”

“Would you kiss me please? I need…I need to feel alive.”

“No.”

“No?” She tried to hide her hurt look behind a brittle smile. “That’s okay, you don’t have to, I mean…”

He wrapped his fist in her hair and tugged hard enough to give her a little pain. “Shhh. I will not kiss you out here because once we start I will not stop and I do not want splinters in my knees or mosquito bites on my ass.”

The hurt fled from her expression and she giggled before saying in a teasing voice, “I’m yours to do with as you wish, Master.”

His world narrowed down to the woman in his arms and he made sure she was paying attention. “For two days, Rya, you are mine. But only for those two days.”

A flash of hurt went through her gaze, but then she nodded and gave him a small, understanding smile. “I know. For two days you are my Master, my
volk
.”

“
Da, zaika moya
.”

She traced her finger over the lapel of his tux jacket that she still wore. “Soooo…what do you plan to do with me, Master?”

“Do you like role play?”

“When it’s done right, yes.”

He glanced at his watch. It would take a little bit for the helicopter to refuel and return. It might be enough time for what he had in mind. And if it wasn’t he would just continue their play in the helicopter then on the plane. This beautiful, vibrant woman was his and only his. All of her smiles, all of her passion, all of her joy was for him only and he could not wait to begin to explore what it would be like to be able to care for someone like her.

Rya watched as the carpeted hallway of the lodge passed beneath her face with her long hair trailing down almost enough to drag across the floor. She gave a futile kick, but Dimitri had her firmly in a fireman’s carry and she wasn’t going anywhere. He’d carried her all the way from the lake, refusing to put her down. When she really started to bitch about it, worried he’d hurt his back, he simply flipped her over his shoulder, gave her a spank that made her ass burn, and continued on his way with her.

A couple times she heard people greet Dimitri as they moved through the lodge, but they didn’t stop. If she didn’t know he was being honest about fearing for her safety, she would think he was embarrassed to be seen with her. And she had to admit, the evil claws of jealousy had come out a few times when women greeted him in a way that left no doubt they were inviting him to their bed, even if Rya couldn’t understand what they said.

Soon, Dimitri stopped, then opened a door and the next thing she knew she was flung onto his bed.

“I get your suitcase from your room. Stay here. Do not open door unless I knock twice, then three times. Like this. Understood?”

She arched a brow, but nodded. “Okay.”

He hesitated. “Do not leave, Rya. Stay here. Promise?”

Wondering why he seemed so afraid that she would leave, she tried to give him a reassuring smile. “I promise.”

He stared at her as if memorizing her features, then nodded and left.

Once the door closed behind him she let out a harsh breath and flopped back on the bed, staring at the ceiling above. Wow, he was one of the most intense people she’d ever met. It seemed like every moment with him was somehow richer, clearer, like he brought her world into a hyperfocused reality that was at once exhausting and wonderful. She cuddled his coat around her and smiled as she inhaled the scent of his cologne.

Being around him was at once exhilarating and exhausting.

Well, she’d found the kind of Master she’d been hoping to meet via the Submissive’s Wish Auction, but he was nothing like she thought he would be. Usually, she went for Doms who were a little more lighthearted, bringing a playful atmosphere to their scenes. Then again, while she’d had fun during that kind of BDSM play, she’d never experienced the bone-deep, soul-altering connection that her friends talked about with their Masters. It wasn’t like she didn’t try to make that connection, she really had given it her all, but she’d ended up parting ways with all of the Masters she’d played with back at her home club in New York. There was always something missing, some element she couldn’t name that just wasn’t there.

Part of her hoped she’d find that missing piece with Dimitri, while the more practical side of her mind warned her to keep her distance. But how was she supposed to distance herself from the most interesting man she’d ever met? Not only that, but Dimitri was one of the few people who had ever listened to her story about almost dying when she was a kid and believed her. He hadn’t been humoring her, and she could tell that he didn’t dismiss her ramblings as being bullshit. That touched her, deeply and she wondered why he’d been so…well, afraid of death. No, not afraid of dying, but what came after. Did he really believe he was such a bad man?

Was he a bad man?

Turning that thought over in her mind, she had to resist the urge to snoop through his stuff. Not that she expected to find a severed head in his suitcase or a collection of post cards made of human skin, but Dimitri was a perfect example of still waters running deep. She wanted to know what was beneath the surface of his mind but was afraid there might be monsters lurking in those depths. A bit of anxiety twisted through her stomach and she sat up, looking around the room, trying to find some hint of the personality of the man who slept here.

It was clean, neat, and if she didn’t know he’d been staying here for the last few days she would have no idea that anyone actually used this room. Her own room wasn’t exactly messy, but she did have some stuff thrown about, her makeup on the counter of the sink, and other small things that showed the room was being used. She wasn’t sure if Dimitri was a neat freak, or if the untouched state of the room was merely the reflection of a very careful man.

Chewing her bottom lip, she made the decision to call her step-dad as soon as she could and ask him to find information on Dimitri. Rock, her step-dad, was a very smart man and he knew people, who knew people, who knew people. If anyone could get her information on her new Master it would be Rock. Not that she was really worried about Dimitri hurting her, she believed him when he said he wouldn’t harm her, but she wanted to know more about why he believed he was in such constant danger.

She heard the pattern of knocks Dimitri had demonstrated a moment before the door opened, revealing Dimitri and her pink suitcase. She giggled at the sight of the big, bad, bearded man holding such a feminine article. He quickly shut the door, then put her suitcase next to it.

“You did not have many things.”

She shrugged. “No. The auction instructions said I should only pack two changes of clothes. So I have this dress and my shorts and t-shirt. I guess Moriz was supposed to provide me with some, but things didn’t work out that way.”

“Moriz bought you at auction?”

“Yep, he won me and another girl. Unfortunately, I got food poisoning and while I was recovering, they fell for each other.”

He leaned against the door with his arms crossed. “Why didn’t you fight to stay with him? He is attractive man and good with women.”

“Because Jean and Moriz are falling in love.”

Tilting his head as if puzzled, he frowned. “But he bought you. He should honor his agreement.”