Diary of a Nerd King #2: The Complete 2nd Season - Episodes 1 to 8 (6 page)

(I used the word “Love” to make sure that even if she didn’t like the poem, she’d hopefully still see I wrote it from the heart.  I drew another heart to emphasize the heart thing.  I drew lots of X’s and O’s for hugs and kisses.  Yeah, I know it’s a little mushy, but hey, I’m fighting for my life here!!!)

I raced out of class as soon as fourth class ended and headed straight for Jordan's locker.  If I could catch her in time, I might be able to get this all straightened out before lunch!

I made it there just in time!  Jordan was just closing her locker door and spinning the dial on her combo lock when she saw me coming. 

I was a little worried that she'd storm off before I had a chance to give her my poem, but she smiled at me, which kinda' caught me off guard. 

Next thing I knew, there she was throwing her arms around me, giving me a big hug, and gushing about how silly she was, and could I ever figure her, and she was so, so sorry, and on and on.

I just kinda stood there dazed for a minute, my brain trying to figure out what had just happened. 

I think I mumbled something like “sure,” “no problem,” “of course,” and a few other things that just seemed to come out naturally.

Whatever just happened, it was over before I knew.  Jordan and I were holding hands and walking towards the lunch room together like this morning had never happened.

I didn't even get a chance to give her my poem!

Oh well, I think I'll just hang on to it in case she gets mad at me about something else.  I should be less stressed out the next time knowing I've got the poem ready to go. 

The rest of the day was pretty uneventful, which was a GOOD thing.  It was only lunch-time, and already I felt as if a whole week had gone by since I got out of bed. 

Wow!  Who knew that dealing with girls could be so exhausting! 

Between Tabi's evil artwork scare, and Jordan playing the world-wide-upset-girls-conspiracy game, I was worn out.  Thank God tomorrow is Saturday!

“OMG! I Think I’m In Love With Oprah!”

Season 2 – Episode 203

Written and Illustrated by

Matt Ballard

© Copyright Matt Ballard 2011

All rights reserved.

http://www.diaryofanerdking.com

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Saturday

I woke up this morning and just laid there, a little bit scared to open my eyes and get up.  I mean after everything that happened yesterday, I wasn't sure I wanted to wake up and risk it being another day like that.

Maybe it was just better to stay in bed.  Not much can happen to you when you're in bed.

But then I started thinking that isn't neccessarily true, and all the thing that could happen to you while you're still in bed started rushing through my mind.

The roof could cave in right on top of you.  It's totally possible.  I've heard of it happening in the winter when people get too much snow on their roof, or even in the summer if you have a bad case of termites.

And then there's the total opposite... the floor could cave in, and you could fall right through it, bed and all.  That's totally possible too. 

I've heard of cases where people have a leaky sink or bathtub, and the water gets the floor all wet and rotted over time, and then it caves in. 

It could probably happen if you have really bad aim when you're going pee too.  Enough times missing the bowl, and it's not just going to be your Mom yelling at you for getting pee on the floor in the bathroom.  You could be standing there and the whole floor caves in right in the middle of you doing your thing!

And what about airplanes?  I've totally seen pictures on the news of airplanes that have crashed right into the roofs of people's houses or other buildings. 

Imagine waking up with the nose of a jumbo jet sticking into your face, with the pilot staring at you all freaked out and stuff!

Or meteors.  They're always saying on TV that there's a good chance a big meteor will hit the earth one day.  What if one hit your house?  You go to bed upstairs the night before, and wake up in the basement the next morning to find your house as flat as a pancake and a meteor on top of you.

And windows have always been a concern of mine.  They're like the weak spot for security in your bedroom.  If something bad is coming in, it's probably coming in through the window because it would be the easiest way to get in. 

Don't laugh.  There's lots of stuff that could come in through your bedroom window.  Think of how many birds are always flying around outside.  Imagine if a few of them flew into your window.  The first one or two could break it, and then the rest would come flying right in like a little bomber squadron that dive bombs you in your sleep and pelts you with white, stinky, sticky, bird-poo bombs.

Or what if an alien spaceship decided to mind probe you.  They'd probably just do it right through your window.  They could shoot their mind probe beam right into your room that way without having to use a laserbeam or something to burn a hole in your wall or your roof. 

Or the aliens could just use a transporter beam to beam themselves into your room right through your window.  I'm not sure if it matters to them whether they beam through your wall, your roof, or your window, but even if it doesn't, they can use your window to see inside to make sure they aim their beams right.

And don't forget secret agents or special forces from the army.  They're going to come in through your window if they're coming to get you.  No point blowing a hole in your wall with top secret super explosives when they can just come in through the window.