Descent into Desire (13 page)

Chapter Nine

Hades sat on Hera’s bed. Demeter was at his feet, her head in his lap, crying hysterically. They’d felt the ground beneath them tremble, and then a few moments later Demeter had burst into the room. She still hadn’t said a word. She’d hit him repeatedly with her fists, and he’d let her. He’d hardly felt it. However, the parts of his arms and chest that were visible had turned a bright pink that was now darkening to purple.

Hera paced by her mirror. That was the most likely way they’d hear from Zeus. They wouldn’t be able to travel as they usually could from the lower parts of the Underworld. They had to be in the upper parts to appear and disappear as they normally did, so finding a pool of water or mirror might be the quickest way to report that Persephone was all right.

Hades stroked Demeter’s hair. “I can say everything you want me to say. It’s my fault. I’m sitting here uselessly while Zeus does all the work. I should never have taken her. I was wrong to ever leave her alone and unprotected. I should’ve made Cerberus stay by her side constantly.”

She looked up at him and punched him in the stomach. Then she sat back against the edge of the bed and pulled her legs close to her chest. She sniffed several times in her efforts to stop crying.

Hera looked down at her sister sadly, and then met Hades’ gaze.

He shook his head. “I can’t stay here. Surely Zeus didn’t mean for me to stay here while he goes after Thanatos.”

“If he hasn’t sent for you, you should stay here!” Demeter said sharply. “Do something right for once.”

“I can keep saying I’m sorry, but that undoes nothing! We were starting to understand each other when I came to talk to you a week ago. Despite that, you can’t deny you wouldn’t have given me permission to court her.”

Demeter wiped her cheeks and rubbed her left eye before looking at him. “You’re right, but some day I would have relented. If you hadn’t gone behind my back and started influencing her, I might have agreed after only a few months, once I’d seen you were sincere.” Fresh tears started to fall. “You have no idea how much a mother wants to protect her child! You don’t understand!”

Hera came and knelt by her. “I know how you feel, but Zeus will save her. You won’t always blame Hades for this. And Hades, you know very well he meant for you to stay here. You’re too emotional.” She poked Demeter. “So are you. This isn’t Hades’ fault.”

Demeter gave Hera a fake smile. “So are you and Aphrodite going shopping this weekend?”

Hera’s expression hardened, and she stood and turned away.

“I thought not,” Demeter said. “Your ideas of right and wrong behavior never apply to you and your actions. You can be petty, but I’m supposed to be mature and act properly when my child is in danger?”

Hades touched her shoulder. He was glad when she didn’t pull away. “Don’t fight with Hera. We’ve all fought with each other enough to fill centuries. Remember how we were before the others came? Before any of the children were born? The six of us acted liked spoiled brats.”

“We fought back then,” Hera said. “We bickered constantly when it was just the six of us. We drove each other crazy.” She met his gaze. “We all remember, Hades. We began to grow after Aphrodite came, after Ares was born.”

“But before the others, before we did so much in the mortal world, we never tried to hurt each other. We never hated each other.”

“I don’t hate you, Hades,” Demeter said. “I hate myself.”

“Demeter, don’t—” Hera began.

“She left because she hates me! I kept her so protected she never thought anyone could hurt her. If I’d let her be normal, you wouldn’t have had to sneak around. If she’d seen the threat earlier, Thanatos couldn’t have taken her. No one had ever looked at her too harshly without feeling my wrath. Who can blame her for not realizing others might try to hurt her?”

“You can’t take the blame for that!” Hades protested. “We don’t know what happened. She may not have had enough time to think about anything. Thanatos is very powerful.”

“He’s insane,” Hera said. “What did he think would happen? You love her. Zeus sees her as a daughter. She’s my only niece and Demeter’s only daughter. Everyone who has power over him loves her.”

“He wants the Underworld.”

Hera shook her head. “He doesn’t have your powers. He couldn’t judge the dead.”

Hades stood and began pacing. “He doesn’t see it that way. He thinks he is death. Literally. He’s not just the god of death. He believes he
is
death itself. Zeus and I discussed this when he rebelled before. It will be his downfall.”

“Why?” Demeter asked.

“He believes he cannot die.”

“What? He can’t believe that. Even Zeus could die. Only the Fates are truly immortal.”

“I’ve talked about it with Hypnos as well. Thanatos believes no one can kill him. He’s not afraid of being bound as Prometheus was or of being trapped in the Underworld. He’s not afraid of torture or punishment because he believes he can escape or convince someone to have mercy on him in the end.”

The door opened, and they all turned to see Ares enter the room.

Hades walked over to him. “What’s happening? Where are they?”

“They left almost an hour ago. Hephaestus made a sword for Zeus to use, and he also made some arrows for Hypnos. You’ve heard nothing?”

Hades shook his head. “What’s their plan?”

“They didn’t take the time to explain. Freeing Persephone first of all. Getting Thanatos to leave the Chamber of Darkness may be difficult though.”

“I wish they’d let us know what’s happening,” Demeter said.

Ares looked at Demeter and then back at Hades. “She’s protecting herself. We think she’s been able to stop Thanatos from…uh, hurting her in any way.”

Demeter stood up and moved toward him quickly. “What? Are you sure?”

Ares nodded. “Thanatos has chains made by Hephaestus that no one can break. Persephone isn’t just some nymph or powerless creature. She’s a goddess. He must have bound her with those chains because Hephaestus says she could use his powers to protect herself if she were in enough danger simply because she was touching the chains. He told us he could feel her using them.”

“She could burn him!” Hera said. “Oh yes, yes! Demeter, it is true, I swear. Hephaestus can melt any metal with his hands, and he can summon fire from nothing. If she’s doing that, he can’t put a finger on her.”

Hades felt a glimmer of hope. He knew Zeus would save her, so his worst fears were of what she might endure until then. He watched Demeter move back to the bed. She sat down slowly and took several deep breaths. He didn’t like how she was blaming herself. No one had ever approved of how protective she was of Persephone, but it wasn’t anyone else’s place to interfere. He also knew Persephone loved her mother and didn’t resent her, no matter how much she had hated all her rules and attempts to control her life.

“How’s Alala?” Hera asked quietly.

“She’s upset and scared. She wanted to be left alone so I came here,” Ares said.

As Ares and his mother talked and tried to distract Demeter, Hades stared into the mirror, willing it to change and bring them good news.

* * * *

Aphrodite woke suddenly. Her mind was clouded because she’d been sleeping for nearly twenty-four hours. Hephaestus had called her. She snapped her fingers and went from sitting on her bed to sitting beside him on the couch in his bedroom.

“You were sleeping deeply,” he said. “I had to call you twice.”

“Sorry. I sleep a lot lately.”

“Are you that unhappy?”

As usual, she found it hard to lock on to what he was feeling. “No. I’m worried. I have a lot on my mind right now.”

He reached for her hand and ran his fingers over it gently. “I hope you’re thinking about what we talked about, even though I hope it isn’t what’s distressing you.”

“It’s everything. Apollo’s depression is worsening. I’m powerless though. I’m still anxious about Hades as well. I don’t want to see him hurt.”

He squeezed her hand. “That’s another reason I called you. Persephone is in trouble.”

“What?” Aphrodite reached out with her mind. She felt negative emotions from everyone. “Where is Persephone?” She reached out again. “Zeus. Where is Zeus? I can’t feel them at all.”

“Thanatos has kidnapped Persephone. Zeus and Hypnos have gone to the lower parts of the Underworld to save her.”

Aphrodite shivered. Thanatos had always given her the creeps. It wasn’t only because he was the god of death. Something deep inside him was different, different in a very bad way.

Hephaestus put his arm around her and drew her close, and she let him. “Thanatos frightens you?”

She nodded. “I think he frightens almost everyone.” She smiled a little. “Maybe not you.”

“I get frightened at times.”

She didn’t turn her head. She knew if she looked into his eyes she’d kiss him. That wouldn’t be fair to him. “We all do.”

“I have to tell you something else.”

“What?”

“It might have been a mistake, but something about this situation made Ares want to talk about the three of us. He wanted to clear the air.”

She turned to look at him. “So you did? That’s good. I don’t want you to resent him. I should never have come between you.”

“I told him.”

She stared into his eyes. “What did you tell him?”

“That I love you and want to marry you.”

“We’re already married. Did you tell him that?”

“No, and we’re not married in the true sense of the word.”

“Why did you do it?”

Hephaestus sighed. “It happened, okay? It’s amazing we both kept this secret for so long.”

Aphrodite saw no harm in confessing that she’d told Alala. He couldn’t very well get angry with her. “Things could get interesting. Alala and I talked about some issues of our own recently when she first became concerned about Persephone. I told her the entire story. She knows we’re married.”

“So Ares and Alala know?”

She nodded.

“Why did you tell her?”

“I had to tell someone. It was driving me mad.” It was the truth. Keeping their secret had been weighing on her more and more since he’d told her he wanted her back.

Hephaestus sank back against the couch, releasing her hand and drawing his arm away. “Driving you mad? I see.”

Aphrodite regretted the words she’d chosen. “I didn’t mean it that way.”

“You wanted me once.”

“Of course I did. I never said I didn’t care for you.”

“Ares said my words hurt your feelings. You told him that? That I’d hurt you with what I said during our fight that day?”

“What?” Ares had told him about that? What had he said?

“He said the things I said when this all ended before, when you were pregnant with Eros, hurt you.”

“Of course they did! I cared for you and you insulted me.”

“I spoke out of anger. I offered you all my love, and you still wanted to chase other men.”

“You forced me to marry you. I wanted my freedom.”

He leaned forward, very close to her, and touched her cheek. “I did force you to marry me. I could think of no other way to keep you. You’re the only thing I’ve ever wanted.”

She turned her head so his hand fell away. “I’ve told you I don’t love you.”

“I know.” He pulled her against him. “I haven’t touched you since that day. Tell me if you still desire me.”

She closed her eyes, but she didn’t push him away. She wanted to let him hold her. She knew how good it would feel. “It wouldn’t be fair. I’m upset and scared.” She opened her eyes. “It would be just like leading you on. I’ve done enough of that. We’re friends. I want my friend back. He’s been gone since you said you wanted me back.”

“Do you want to leave and go to the others?”

She shook her head. “I’m afraid of seeing Hera.”

He nodded. “I see. Let me comfort you then.”

“We can’t make love. The way you feel changes things.”

“I’m not trying to seduce you. That’s the difference between love and lust. I want to show you love, make you feel loved.”

She pulled out of his arms and stood up. After walking a few feet away, she said, “Do you know how much it hurts when you say things like that?”

“As much as when you tell me you don’t love me, perhaps? I simply don’t want you to forget. I don’t mean them to hurt you.”

“They do though. Do you think I get a thrill out of you wanting me so much? Do you think it’s this romantic fantasy that makes me smile and feel special?” Tears pooled in her eyes and soon began to spill down her cheeks. “Do you know how much I wanted to love Hermes because I admired him so much? How much I tried to fall in love with Ares because we were so close and had such amazing sex? I’m incapable of love! You’ll only get hurt.”

He stood and went to her. She didn’t resist when he pulled her close.

“You love more than any other being. It overwhelms you. You feel so much.”

“That’s what Ares says,” she whispered.

“He’s right.” He swept her into his arms and went back to the couch, settling her in his lap as he sat down and wrapping his arms around her.

She rested her head on his shoulder and wiped at her tears. “Can we stay like this until someone calls for us?”

“Yes.”

After a few moments, she said, “I never told you if I tried to love you or not.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“I didn’t. I thought we weren’t right for each other, so I never tried. I never even considered it until the day you asked me to marry you.”

He rubbed her shoulder and turned his head a little to press his cheek to her forehead. “Does it make any difference?”

“I don’t know.” She sighed and wrapped one arm around his chest, snuggling closer on his shoulder. “I only wanted you to know. It’s not that I couldn’t love you. I never tried.”

She listened to his heart beating as he remained silent. His silence often frustrated her, but sometimes his still, silent strength was very comforting. Things would be different after this, but even she wasn’t sure yet what that might mean for any of them.