Descent into Desire (5 page)

“No, no, it’s fine. It’s nice to talk to someone. Hera’s always been my confidante, but I can’t talk to her about Hephaestus.”

“I know. I’m here if you need me.”

Aphrodite smiled and showed her out.

As Alala headed home, her mind whirled. She’d wanted to make Aphrodite feel better, but with everything that weighed upon her, she doubted even Atlas himself could ease Aphrodite’s burden.

Chapter Three

Hades stood at his bedroom window, watching Persephone talk with Hypnos in the garden. It had been three days since they’d last spoken. He always knew where she was, so he stayed out of her way. Her shunning of him was less painful when he didn’t actually have to see her turn or walk away from him. He’d hoped her usual impatience might get the better of her and make her seek him out. That hadn’t happened though. She’d spent most of the past three days in her room or in the library. Today she wanted to learn more about the Underworld and had asked Hypnos to give her the tour that had been erotically interrupted her first day here.

Hades trusted Hypnos not to succumb to temptation again. The god of sleep pushed the limits from time to time, but he also knew Hades wouldn’t forgive the same thing twice. He watched Persephone pull her long hair back into a ponytail and tie it with a ribbon. A strong breeze blew through the garden, and Hades wondered if Hypnos would tell Persephone what that meant. Since the Underworld was unaffected by the world above, the weather it did have was the result of Hades’ emotions. The storm that had been brewing but never breaking for three days reflected his brooding.

Persephone smiled and laughed at something Hypnos said. Hades watched her and Cerberus follow Hypnos from the garden. He looked back at the letter he’d been writing. It burst into flame and disintegrated, leaving no sign it had ever been there. Writing her a letter would be breaking his word. He’d promised to leave her alone.

He looked into the mirror near his bed, but then he hesitated. He wanted to talk to Alala, but he wasn’t sure how she would react. She might not trust him. He touched the mirror’s edge and thought of her. Luckily, she was lounging on the diving board in Ares’ training room reading a book.

“Alala?”

She looked at the door, then all around the room. She finally looked down at the water in the pool and jumped. Her book went flying, and she fell off the diving board. She emerged and looked at his reflection.

“You scared the shit out of me!” she exclaimed as she coughed up water.

“Sorry. May I come talk to you?”

She pushed her wet hair out of her face. “Yes, this is kind of creepy, swimming with you just kind of floating and rippling right in front of my tits.” She swam away from him quickly.

He sighed, feeling he’d gotten off to a very poor start. He appeared next to the pool as she got out and reached for a towel. “You can see already I’m terrible with women.”

Alala looked up at him and then dried her face and ran the towel over her hair. He had no idea what she might be thinking. She’d always been Ares’ silent and beautiful shadow, but she was just as deadly as he was. She could kill with a touch, like Ares and Thanatos. It was the one power she had to top his own, and at this moment he was far more afraid of her than he was of the gods of war and death.

“I talked to Aphrodite. But I want to hear you say it,” Alala said.

“Say what?”

“How you feel.” She sat by the pool and put her feet in the water. “Come sit down.”

He did so, changing his clothes to black shorts and a t-shirt and putting his feet into the water too. It was very warm, but he still felt chilled as he looked at her. “I love Persephone, but I know her feelings for me aren’t that strong.”

“No, they aren’t. I thought you were just a passing interest. Did you know I suspected ‘Hellraiser’ was you? Before Ares got sick from Aphrodite’s spell. I was with her brother Arion and the thought just came to me.”

“That weird kid who plays the guitar?”

She narrowed her eyes. “The weird kid you want for a brother-in-law.”

“Sorry. I thought you and him hooking up was a rumor.” His stomach lurched. He’d now insulted her ex. What else could he do wrong?

“We were never really together, just a few dates. Nothing serious. He’s dating Psyche now.”

“Eros’ ex-wife? You’re serious?”

“They both love mortals. She lives in California now. He’s there all the time.”

“That’s interesting.”

“It is, but it’s not what you’re here for.”

“I know. She’s angry because we didn’t have sex right away. Then I tricked her into drinking something I made with magic. She has to stay with me for one hundred days now.”

Alala glared at him. “She wanted to leave and you wouldn’t let her?”

“No. I was afraid she would leave. She only wanted to be away from me after I admitted what I’d done.”

Her expression hardened even more. “That doesn’t sound like love to me. It sounds like obsession.”

“I know. It was wrong.”

“You’re damn right it was wrong! I’m sure you’ve been punished for it. She’s good at holding a grudge and making people feel like shit.”

“She won’t talk to me.”

Alala kicked the water with her feet. “Wow, you’ve really fucked this up. I thought maybe you were just frustrated because you’d found out how hard it is to get along with her.” She laughed and added with fake enthusiasm, “But it’s you screwing it all up! What fun!”

He didn’t know how to react to her sarcasm. He hadn’t expected it from her, though he preferred it to outright anger. “So have I screwed it up too much to still have hope?”

“Well… that’s up to her. You were a fantasy to her, and you needed to take it slow. I know Demeter would have been a problem, but you shouldn’t have taken her down there.”

“I know I don’t deserve your help, but you’re her only real friend. Tell me what to do.”

She looked into his eyes for a long time. “You’re afraid of me.”

“Is that so odd? You could kill me.”

“But I wouldn’t. You made mistakes, and I don’t really like this, but I do see your side. She’ll hurt you more than you can imagine if you keep going like this.”

He took a deep breath, trying to find the right words and hide his frustration. “Help me then. Help me be a better man.”

Alala bit her lip. “Only you can do that. Someone else could motivate you or advise you, but being a better man is all about what you do. You have to balance being yourself with trying to please her. I don’t know. I don’t even see how I could help. What could I tell you? I don’t know what she’s feeling now, and I won’t spy for you.”

“I’m not asking you to. She told me to leave her alone. Do I wait until she comes to me?”

Alala considered this. “Yes. It’s safer. She expects people to read her mind sometimes, but in this case, leave her alone. Don’t try anything because if she doesn’t want to see you, she’ll get angrier and push you away more. It’s possible she wants you to pursue her, even seduce her now, but if that’s wrong and you tried it, she’d be so angry.”

He nodded, but his heart sank.

“I know she’s hard to figure out. I’m sorry I don’t have any answers.”

“I’m not sure why I expected you to. My ethics lately have been pretty questionable. It’s unfair to ask this of you.”

“It makes perfect sense to me. I am the best person to turn to. I went to Aphrodite to reassure myself because I didn’t want to meddle but being so in the dark was driving me crazy. Your situation is too complicated. Only you and Persephone can work it out.”

“I had to try though. Zeus and Hera are now limiting their help to not kicking my ass.”

“You’re not what I expected.”

“I’m not?”

“You’re from the Underworld, so you’re supposed to be dark and brooding. I expected a bad boy, dangerous and mysterious like Thanatos and Hypnos. But you’re different. You’re like Ares. Very vulnerable beneath the darker parts.”

He couldn’t help smiling. “I’m sure he doesn’t want that getting out.”

“Probably not, but I can see you bury feelings the way he does. It’s very bad for you.” She touched his hand. “I’ve never felt loneliness like this. How do you live with it?”

He wasn’t sure he understood her. He was anxious about Persephone, but he didn’t think he really seemed that upset. “I don’t understand. I’m worried about what to do, but do I seem that pathetic?”

“No. That’s not what I’m saying.” She ran her hand up his arm. “I can sense pain. It comes from a life spent on the battlefield. It’s all over you.”

She seemed so serious. Her hand was warm, but he felt his nervousness returning. Was she trying to do something to him? “What’s all over me?”

“Loneliness. Why do you deny how unhappy you are? You are not like the other Underworld dwellers. Emotionally, you’re different. I don’t know Hypnos or Thanatos well, but their auras, their essences are different. They feel things, they can love and hate, but they have more defenses than we do. It’s part of who they are.”

He pulled away from her. “Maybe my life isn’t exciting, but I’m not unhappy, all right?”

“What does excitement have to do with it? You could have a great social life and be lonely. I didn’t mean it to sound offensive. You are like Ares. He’d still be just like you if I hadn’t reached out to him.”

“I’m at a disadvantage then. Persephone isn’t in love with me. She isn’t going to reach out to me.” He stood up and began walking away. “This was a mistake. Forgive me for disturbing you.”

“Wait, please!”

He didn’t want to, but he did. He felt like a fool. He shouldn’t have come. No one could help him. “What?”

Alala stood up and walked over to him. “Be patient with her. She’ll come to you and want to talk. No matter how long she’s upset, she likes to have things settled.”

He nodded.

“I meant what I said. I’m worried about her hurting you because I know she could. She’ll get over you quicker than you could get over her. Okay? I didn’t mean to insult you. I’d probably take her side before yours in some cases, and I’m going to be angry if you hurt her or pressure her, but I’d be glad to hear you two had worked things out and were happy together.”

“Thank you. And I didn’t mean to be rude either. Don’t worry about me.”

“Can’t promise that. I have a soft spot for tough guys who turn out to be teddy bears.”

“So long as I’m the only one who gets to touch that very sweet soft spot,” Ares said as he came up behind Alala.

She put her arms around him immediately and kissed his cheek. She beamed up at him as he embraced her, and Hades wondered if Persephone would ever be so happy to be near him.

“Just finishing up harassing your sweetheart,” Hades said. His heart felt even heavier seeing them so happy.

“No wedding invitation yet? Damn. Maybe next week,” Ares said.

Hades forced a smile. “Nice. You’ve destroyed all the confidence Alala managed to give me. It wasn’t much, but it was something.”

Ares rolled his eyes. “Am I the only one around here with a sense of humor?”

“At the moment, yes.”

“Fine, go brood. You’re pretty good at it.”

Alala poked Ares in the ribs and said to Hades, “Ignore him. Go home and be patient.”

“I’ll try. But don’t be surprised if you see me again.”

She nodded, and with a thought he was back in his bedroom. But despite her encouragement, he felt he was right back where he’d started. He headed for the garden, needing to be alone before Persephone came back to the palace. The closer she was, the more he wanted to see her. It wasn’t going to get easier to resist, but he knew he had to.

* * * *

Persephone looked at the three-story shopping mall and wanted to laugh. She turned to Hypnos. “There’s a mall in Hell? Haven’t they gone out of fashion in the mortal world? What kind of stores does it have?”

Hypnos smiled at her. “Your ideas of Hell, including the word itself, are very human. That’s the reason for this tour.”

She nodded. “Okay, I guess you’re right, but still.” She gestured to the building. “It’s a mall in the middle of an orchard.”

“This is like Heaven. The things here in the Elysian Fields make those who dwell here happy. Natural beauty and animals side-by-side with modern things.”

She looked back to the water. She hesitated to call it an ocean, but it certainly seemed that big. “And the Elysian Islands? That’s where the best of the best go.”

“Yes. The heroes and the people who helped their world and others dwell there. Aphrodite’s son Aeneas, for example. Great warriors and monarchs from all over the world.”

She nodded again. “But Tartarus looks just like this.” She walked back toward the houses, looking at the faces of the people moving around them. “Are the people there made to be unhappy by magic? They didn’t have a mall or so many flowers and animals, but the houses were just as beautiful, the light just as bright.” She looked up. “Is there a sun? A moon?”

“There is light and dark, but no sun or moon.”

“Ah. But back to my point, what makes the people there unhappy? They seemed melancholy. Depressed even.”

“They remember the bad things they did and regret them. If they had no conscience, they are given one. If they never felt remorse, they do now. That is how they are punished.”

“Forever?”

“They eventually move on. Hades decides those things. A judgment is held once every ten years.”

Persephone looked all around, admiring the trees and flowers as they moved away from the houses and people. “Is he fair?”

“Yes. He is fair and just.”

She nodded once again. She wanted to ask so much, but she was a little afraid to do so. “How big is this place?”

“How big is your world? Mount Olympus is in the center, but do you know what is on the edge? Do you know how you pass from your world to the mortal one?”

She smiled. “It really doesn’t matter, does it?”

“Not really.”

To avoid being more inquisitive about Hades, she moved on to another slightly uncomfortable subject. “Did you get in trouble for what happened between us?”

“In a way. I know I wouldn’t be forgiven if I succumbed again, but I’m not in trouble. You shouldn’t feel self-conscious about it. I’m not upset with you.”

“I used you. I wanted to get his attention as much as I wanted to be touched by a man I knew was attracted to me.”

“Your action was an innocent mistake. You were confused and meant me no harm.”

She shook her head, laughing. “The Underworld isn’t what I expected. I imagined it would be dark and scary. I thought I’d see actual flames and boiling rivers. I expected you to be dangerous. And Hades? I thought he’d never let go as soon as we touched.”

“Once you knew who he was, you expected to be ravished, I suppose?”

“I thought I was in for a night of…I don’t even know what. I was terrified and excited.”

“I can understand that.”

She looked at him and sat down on the grass, inviting him to sit with her. “I’m glad. I don’t want to talk to anyone else yet. I do want to see Hades.”

“You do?” he asked as he settled down beside her.

“Yes! I was expecting a leather-clad bad boy who’d tie me up, but instead I’m in some twisted beauty and the beast story, wandering his palace as he watches from a distance hoping I’ll love him.”

Hypnos remained silent.

“He loves me, doesn’t he?”

He nodded.

She closed her eyes. “I don’t see why.”

“I can’t help you on this subject. Love is something I’ve never felt.”

“Never?” She turned her gaze toward him and blinked away the images of Hades that had danced behind her eyelids.

“Never. I’ve felt drawn to certain women and visited them in their dreams. It’s the only safe way to touch them. I’ve been with goddesses and nymphs. But I’ve never been in love.”

She thought he looked sad, even though his solid black eyes made judging his moods difficult. Was he telling the truth about never having been in love? Or did he regret never having felt it? His touch had been tender and loving. Perhaps he longed for someone to love. “Then we have something in common. I’ve never been in love either.”

He smiled. “I suppose we do. I’ve never had a friend either.” His smile faded. “My brother and I are not close, at least not anymore.”

“My brother’s sweet, but we aren’t close either. Alala is my only friend. I’d like you and I to be friends.”

“I would like that too.”

She stood up. “I think I know what I want. Tonight, at least. Tell Hades we’re going on our first date.”

“Your first date?” He rose and followed her as she walked to the south toward Hades’ palace.

“Yes. It’s what we did wrong from the start. We went from talking online to this. It can’t work. I want to talk to him for a few hours. So I want us to have dinner. One date, and then we’ll see what happens.”

“He’ll probably be terrified of you.”

She considered his words, looking down at her hands. “The Lord of the Underworld? Terrified of me? That’s what you said before.” She shook her head. “I don’t see it.”

“Yes, terrified of the beautiful woman who holds his heart in her hand.”

“I liked him before. I’ll like him again when we’ve talked. Really talked. I’m still upset, but not angry. Not the way I was. I’m going to be more patient. I was cruel the other day.”

“He deserved it. He needed to see he’d never win you by force. He didn’t mean to force you to stay.”

“I know. He panicked.” Persephone felt warm as she thought about him using force to seduce her. She shook the thought away. She was not going to let her curiosity ruin what she had planned. “I guess I can see that. It simply reminded me of my mother, and I lashed out because nothing was going the way I wanted it to. I’m going to apologize for purposely hurting him.” She remembered what she’d done, kneeling at his feet naked and mocking him. “Gods, I was a bitch.”

“He’ll be honored to receive an apology. He thinks you despise him now. That he deserves any punishment you see fit.”

“Honored, huh? We’ll see. Hopefully it won’t be an evening of us both tripping over our words.”

Hypnos shrugged. “I wouldn’t worry.”

Persephone wished she had his confidence. Her stomach was already questioning her decision.