Derailed (2 page)

“I told Tom we’d meet him in an hour over at Gill’s.”

“Gill’s? You actually hang out there now?” I couldn’t picture my friends at the local bar. Growing up, we’d viewed the place as a hangout for old people.

She laughed. “I forget you haven’t been back to town in so long. We all hang out there.”

“Oh. Well, I don’t know. I’ve been driving all day, but I guess I could run over for a little bit. I just need to get some stuff from the car and get ready.” Beer sounded like enough motivation to get me moving.

Kelly followed me back through the house, out to my car, and helped me lug in some bags.

“So it’s really happening, huh? You’re moving back?” She struggled to drag a large duffel up the front steps. I put down my bag inside the door and went out to help her.

“Not permanently, just until I figure out what the hell I’m doing with my life.” We moved back into the kitchen. I opened the fridge and freezer even though I knew they’d be empty. Some habits are hard to break.

“Well, take your time then. No need to rush.” She smiled.

“I’m not in a rush, there’s nowhere to rush to.” I leaned against the kitchen counter, not ready to sit again.

Kelly picked at her nails, a nervous habit she’d had for as long as I could remember. “I need to talk to you about something.”

I braced myself for bad news, not sure I could handle more. “All right.”

“Tom proposed a few weeks ago.” She peeked up at me from under a fringe of light brown bangs.

“Wow, congratulations, that’s wonderful!” I went through the motions, hugging her and admiring her ring.

“It’s good timing that you’re here. It will make it easier for you to do your maid of honor duties.”

“Maid of honor? Wow.”

“Of course. I mean I was going to be yours…” She trailed off. Kelly and Tom were the only people in town who knew about Adam. I’d made her swear not to tell anyone with the exception of Tom. She told her boyfriend—or now fiancé—everything.

“It’s okay. I’ve accepted it. But if you’ve been engaged a few weeks, why didn’t you call?”

“It’s just that we have to do it this summer because it’s the only time I can get enough time off.” Kelly taught third grade at Bayview Elementary, the same school we went to as kids. “And, um, there was only one date available at the church—July fifteenth.”

“Oh. Well, it’s not like I have plans that day now.” I tried to force a smile, but I’m sure it was less than convincing.

“I’m really sorry. And if it’s too much for you, we can—”

“No, it’s a great date. It doesn’t upset me.” I tried to wrap my head around the idea that Kelly was getting married on the same day I was supposed to. It was as though we’d switched places.

“All right, good. I can’t wait to tell Tom. He kept pushing me to call you.”

“If you’re serious about wanting to go out, I should get in a quick shower and change.” I needed to get away from Kelly before I lost it.

“All right, I’ll wait down here.”

People sometimes say things like “I had no more tears left to cry,” but that’s a bunch of crap. I’d been crying almost every night for months, and the supply was still working fine. Miraculously, the batteries in the old shower radio functioned, and it helped ensure that Kelly wouldn’t suspect a thing. I was supposed to be the strong one, the unbreakable one, and there was no reason to let her see just how far I’d fallen. By the time I shut off the water, I’d composed myself.

I came back downstairs, my wet blond hair pulled into a messy bun. I didn’t have time to dry it.

“How are you doing, Molly, for real?” Kelly looked up from her cell phone as I walked back into the kitchen. It didn’t look like she had moved.

“I’m fine.”

“Stop lying to your best friend. No offense, but you don’t look like yourself. When’s the last time you ate, or slept for that matter?” The worry was back.

“I ate some food on the road, and I sleep when I can.”

“You know there are pills you can take to help with that.”

“I don’t need sleeping pills. I’m doing fine; it was just a long drive.” Evidently, I was going to have to do a better job covering up the evidence of my quasi-insomnia. I realized that the concealer at the bottom of my toiletry bag might have a new life.

“If you say so. I’m here if you need me.”

“Thanks. I appreciate the offer, but I don’t want you worrying about me. You have a wedding to plan.”

I put on some strappy sandals, wondering if my well-worn jeans and fitted black t-shirt would stand out. I figured people wouldn’t dress up to hang out at a place like Gill’s.

I slid into the passenger seat of Kelly’s car. “Are you sure I shouldn’t take my own car? I don’t know how long I want to stay.”

“I’ll drive you home whenever you’re ready. You’ve been driving all day. You need a break.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

Gazing out the window, I watched the town, my town. Every block held memories, the only memories I had without Adam. Unfortunately, even those memories hurt.

Chapter Three

A large, worn metal sign announced that we’d reached Gill’s. Kelly squeezed her car into a small spot right out front. She gave me a reassuring smile. I fought down some nerves. I’d been back in town just twice since graduating, and I’d managed to avoid seeing anyone but a handful of friends. This time wasn’t going to be so easy.

We walked into the smoky bar, and I took in my surroundings. I’d only been inside a few times when I was allowed to come watch bands play when I was in high school. An L shaped bar dominated one side, while tables and a small stage filled the rest of the space.

I followed Kelly to the bar and took a seat.

“Well, isn’t that a sight for sore eyes!” Ronny, one of my sister’s high school friends, slammed his beer on the counter and barreled over to me. He picked me up off my stool and spun me around. “What are you doing in this neck of the woods, kid? Aren’t you supposed to be in law school or something?”

“Yeah, that didn’t work out. I came home to figure things out, you know?”

“You don’t have to explain anything, Molly.” Tom hugged me after kissing Kelly hello. Five years older than me, Tom had also gone to school with Shayna. I was more than a little surprised when he started dating Kelly when we were in college, but then again, Adam had been three years older than me.

“So you’re out of uniform tonight, huh?” I took the beer Tom offered. I nodded to a guy I had graduated with, but never really talked to. It didn’t look like that was about to change.

“Hey, I might not be on duty, but don’t get any ideas. I can still arrest you.”

I held up my hands in defense. “I’ll be good.”

“Don’t promise what you can’t deliver, hon. A few years away can’t have changed you that much. I know all about your past crimes.”

I cringed. “I’m reformed.”

“Oh no, you don’t. What you need is some fun.” Kelly smiled, tossing her wavy hair off her shoulder.

Tom’s smile faded, replaced by a more serious expression. “So how are you holding up, Molly? You look good.”

“Don’t lie. I look awful. Your
fiancé
already made sure I knew that. But I’m doing fine.”

“Fiancé? So you told her, Kelly?”

“Yup, my maid of honor is on board.” Kelly beamed, and Tom kissed her. Way too much PDA for me.

“By the way, you couldn’t look awful if you tried.” Ronny scooted his stool closer to me.

“Thanks. You really know how to boost a girl’s confidence.”

“I can do a lot more than that.” He wriggled an eyebrow.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I smiled at Ronny’s playfulness. “But isn’t there a special someone who would come after me?”

“Nope, I’m as single as they come. Surprising, I know.”

“Shocking.” I took a few swallows of beer, enjoying the bitterness on my tongue. It actually surprised me that Ronny was single. From what I knew, he was a successful insurance agent, and he certainly wasn’t bad looking.

“What about you? I heard a rumor someone was getting married.”

I hesitated for a moment. This was it, the first time someone had asked the million dollar question. “No, no wedding.”

“Oh. Did I hear wrong, or did you decide you didn’t want his sorry ass?”

“He left me, actually.” It wasn’t a complete lie. He was the one who’d left.

“Wow, what an idiot.”

Tom threw me a look over Ronny’s head. I hoped Kelly had given him the order to keep his mouth shut.

“Well, his loss, I guess.” Ronny gave me a sympathetic glance, and I was definitely glad to be hiding the truth. Sympathy for being spurned was better than sympathy for him dying. Much better. People broke up all the time; most didn’t have their fiancé die in his twenties.

“Well, look what the cat dragged in.”

My chest tightened as Jake Mathews stumbled over to us. He was obviously drunk, but that did nothing to play down his boyish good looks. Although not nearly as attractive as his older brother Ben, he looked eerily like him, and his brother was the last person I wanted to see.

“Watch it, Mathews,” Tom warned as Jake took a seat a few stools down from me.

“Let’s get a table.” Kelly took my hand as if to emphasize the point.

“Good idea.” I let her tow me along.

I pulled out a chair and sat between Ronny and Kelly at a small table in the corner, hoping Jake wouldn’t decide to follow. I wasn’t that lucky.

Straddling a backward chair, he sat down directly across from me. “What’s made you decide to grace us with your presence?”

“Mathews,” Tom growled this time.

“Can’t I ask the girl a question? If she’ll just answer me, I’ll leave her alone.” He talked as if we were virtual strangers, and even though his behavior wasn’t unexpected, it still stung.

“I’m back in town for a while. What else do you need to know?” I drank the last drops of my beer and placed it down on the table in front of me.

“When are you leaving? It can’t be soon enough.”

I braced myself on my chair as I felt tears threaten. I hated how emotional I’d become.

“All right, that’s enough.” Tom stood up, grabbed Jake’s arm, and towed him away from the table. Even over the chatter of customers and the music, I heard the rest of their conversation. “Leave Molly alone. She has enough to deal with without your crap. You got it?” Tom looked ready to punch him. 

“What’s she got to deal with? Finally realizing how much of a bitch she is? She has some nerve coming back here after what she did to Ben.” Jake crossed his arms over his chest as if he couldn’t care less what Tom threatened him with.

“What she did to Ben? She broke up with him, and she had every right to do it. She can’t help that he flipped out over it.”

“She nearly destroyed him. She nearly fucking destroyed him.”

My chest tightened again. This was exactly what I didn’t need to hear.

Tom, likely realizing I could hear every word Jake said, pulled him further away, and I lost the rest of the conversation.

Ronny slid an arm around my shoulder. “Don’t let him get to you. Ben’s a big boy. He doesn’t need his little brother mouthing off for him.”

I shifted in my seat. “I can’t imagine Ben even cares about that anymore. It was five years ago.”

“Five years is a long time.” Kelly’s casual voice made me doubt the sincerity of her words.

“Are the Grizzlies playing tonight?” Ronny asked.

“Wait, they’re still together?” Kelly hadn’t mentioned Ben or his band in a long time, and I’d never been the one to ask after him.

Kelly bit her lip. “Yeah, same as always. And no, they aren’t here tonight; I think they’re playing tomorrow.” She watched me, waiting to see my response.

I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. There was no way I could handle watching Ben play tonight—or possibly ever. I wasn’t sure how I was going to avoid him in a town the size of Clayton Falls, but I hoped my stay would be short enough that it wouldn’t be too big of a problem.

“I need another beer. Should I grab this round?” I started to push out my chair.

“Don’t worry about it; I’ve got the next one.” Ronny put a hand on my shoulder letting me know to stay put.

I nodded, not in the mood to argue. Tom came back over to the table, thankfully without Jake.

“I’m sorry about that, Mol. I guess some things never change.”

“It’s not your fault, but I appreciate you stepping in.”

“Of course. We’re here for you.”

“Trust me. I’d make Tom sorry if he didn’t take care of it.” Kelly grinned.

Ronny returned to the table with a round of beers, and I quickly downed mine, waiting for the two beer buzz to hit me. I had my drinking down. One did nothing, two gave me a buzz, and the third started pushing me into numbness territory, the place I liked to be.

“Hey, guys, mind if I join you?” The man looked to be in his late twenties. He was incredibly tall and broad with dark hair. I definitely hadn’t seen him before.

“Hey, man, take a seat.” Tom gestured to the table.

Flipping around the chair that Jake had vacated, he sat down. “Hi there, I don’t think we’ve met.” He held out his hand. “I’m Gavin.”

I accepted the firm handshake that lasted a moment longer than it needed to. “Molly.”

“This is the friend of Kelly’s I was telling you about,” Tom broke in.

“I see. You’re the maid of honor who’s been living in Boston.” Gavin checked me out as best he could with me sitting right there at the table. He evidently liked what he saw, as his perusal ended with a satisfied grin.

“Gavin’s been my partner for two years now,” Tom explained.

“So you’re a cop too.” I smiled, eyeing the bar, contemplating how long I needed to wait before it was socially acceptable to get another beer.

“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?” he asked flirtatiously, and I decided it was time to get up.

“My turn to buy; anyone want?” I stood up before Ronny could stop me again.

“I’ll go with you.” Ronny’s clinginess surprised me, but I didn’t mind it. It was just Ronny acting big brotherly.

“I’ll take another,” Tom called. “But no more for Kelly if she’s driving home.”

“Oh, so now you decide for me?” Kelly pouted.