Deceitfully Yours (12 page)

Kylie

Dinner was agonizingly long. Maryanne is sweet and Jay is funny
, but Jax looked at me like he could see right into my deep, dark secrets.

As soon as the dinner is over, Candice
joins me out on the deck and we sit together on the steps leading into Maryanne’s neat little garden. “You seemed…nervous in there. I hope you don’t mind me pulling you out here,” Candice says.

“No
, I don’t mind. Actually I needed to get some air.”

“It will get easier.”

“What will get easier?” I look at her, but her gaze is still on the garden.

“Learning to be around your Dom’s family and realizing the relationship you share is beyond sexual.” I’m still trying to figure out if we have something more than sexual. And if we do I know I can’t pursue it the way my heart wants.

“How long have you been with Jax?”

“Six months, but I’ve known him for years. We played together a few times over those years
, but he never pursued anything more with me until I started working for him and we became friends.”

“You two seem like you have it all figured out.”

She laughs and finally looks at me. “We don’t. Jax is a great Master, and I’ve admired him from a distance for quite some time. But he’s not usually in a full Master/slave relationship.”

“Master/slave?” I didn’t realize
that was the kind of relationship they have. Candice did seem shy at first, but as dinner progressed she became chatty and glowed when Jax was focused on her.

“Yes. Jax had a couple substantial relationships before me
, but his subs were always spunky with edgy attitudes. I think I may be a little too well behaved for him.”

“Sometimes a different kind of woman can make a man happier than he
expects,” I say, trying to talk her out of her self-doubts.

“That’s true. Jude has never been with a woman like you
, but the difference between him and Jax is that Jude looks happier. Sometimes it works, and sometimes…” She shrugs her shoulders and looks away. “I think he’s only fulfilled when we play with others.”

“Does that bother you?”

“I like it when we play with other people, but I wish he was as satisfied when it’s just us.” She huffs then turns to me and smiles. “I’m sorry. I came out here to try to make you comfortable, but I’m boring you with my insecurities.”

“No, it’s fine. It’s actually comforting to know that someone who’s been in this lifestyle for so long isn’t as together as I thought.”

“Well, our relationships are like any other one but more dynamic.”

Dynamic is actually a great way to describe what we share with these men. “Let’s go back in.”

By the time we get back inside, Jude is ready to leave and so am I. The ride home is quick, and Jude tells me stories about growing up with Jax and Jay.

“Thanks for inviting me. It was fun,” I say as we step out the car at Jude’s place. I wrap my arms around his neck and pressing her body against mine.

“I’m glad you said that because I was thinking you might want to come with me to my sister’s wedding.”

I tense up and try to pull out of his arms, but his hold on me is steadfast. “Don’t you think we’re moving a little fast?”

“Is there some kind of speed limit on relationships I didn’t know about?”

I smile and shake my head. “Seriously, Jude, you don’t ease into anything. You do everything full throttle.”

“It’s the only way I know how to move.” He leans in and I avoid his kiss, so he runs his tongue over my neck. My body quakes in his arms as he whispers into my ear, “Say yes, Kylie. You know you can’t resist me.”

I moan as he runs his hand down my back and cups my ass.

I growl because I know I’ll give in. “I hate you.”

“No, you don’t. You just hate that you can’t say no to me.”

“Yeah, that too.”

“Let’s go in and get some sleep.”

“I can’t stay.”

He freezes at my words and takes a step back. “Why?” Running off in the middle of the night has become a habit now, and I can tell it’s really beginning to bother him.

“I have a shoot at five in the morning. If I go in there with you, I won’t get any sleep and I’ll be useless.”

He looks at me silently for a few seconds then says, “This is the last time you leave me alone. I’m getting used to you in my bed when I wake.”

“Last time, I promise.”

“I’m going to hold you to that promise.”

I kiss him softly, and look at into his eyes as he leans over and rest his forehead against mine.

“Next weekend I’ll take you out on the boat.”

“You have a boat?” That surprises me.

“It’s a family boat. You’ll love it.”

“Okay,” I say, caressing the stubble on his face. Then I close my eyes and take a deep breath before walking off and leaving him standing there, staring at me backing out of his driveway.

Kylie

What Jude called a family boat turns out to be a small luxury yacht. He lays out a blanket on the deck while I pull our lunch from the basket. I always thought a man who was a Dom would only be interested in keeping me tied down to his bed, ready and available to fuck. Jude is not at all like that. When he loosens up the ropes, he turns into this sweet romantic man who packs lunch in a picnic basket and remembers to bring the wine and strawberries.

I can’t help but
gawk as he pulls off his shirt. His body is not overdone, but lean and strong with great definition in his arms and abs. He lies on his side, with his head propped on his fist. The look in his eyes says he’s ready to pounce at any moment.

It’s
a rare, warm day in Portland. Usually I'd never dare wear a bikini with the mild temperatures, but I jumped at a chance to lay out in the sun with Jude. I feel oddly self-conscious as I pull my dress over my head and reveal my bikini. Jude’s gaze runs over my body slowly. As I sit, he reaches out and glides his finger under the thin strap between my breasts. He’s entirely focused on the path his finger travels, his dark eyes lowering with burgeoning lust. Goose bumps form on my warm skin when he circles my navel with his finger, then brushes the edge of my bottoms.

“Your friends are nice,” I say, attempting to break the building sexual tension
lest we begin fucking like we’ve been deprived of sex for years.

“Yeah
, they are,” he says, still tracing my edge of my bikini bottoms. He’s way more engrossed in touching me than attempting to make conversation.

“What was it like growing up with them?”
I ask. He finally looks into my face, smiling when he realizes I’m trying to divert his attempt to seduce me. He pulls away from me, and I miss his touch immediately.

“
Jax and Jay are never boring. Our families grew really close, and we were all pretty happy. Well…mostly.” He picks up his glass and takes a sip, then places it back down.

“What do you mean, mostly?”

He lies back with his hands under his head and gazes up at the blue sky, his expression somber. “My brother. He was the dark cloud that hung over us.”

“Why?” I can tell this is not a comfortable topic for him.

“He’s always been somewhat unhappy and competitive. He thought I was trying to outshine him.” He turns his body back toward me and sighs. “When our grandfather died, he left almost everything to me. Mostly because he knew my brother couldn’t be trusted. He was wild and reckless, and he always felt entitled.” He picks up a grape and pops it into his mouth. He chews the juicy fruit and swallows before continuing. “When I started Baxter Hotel, I brought him on to prove I believed in him. That was the biggest mistake of my life.”

“What happened?”

“He was into things I never suspected and used my company as a cover. When I found out…” He scratches the scar on his face. “We almost killed each other.”

“Did he do that to your face?”

He nods and turns his gaze back to the sky. Even though he’s silent for a few minutes, I can almost hear his mind taking a trip into the past. Maybe I shouldn’t have pushed him to talk about it.

“Tell me about your family,” he
finally says.

I provoked that question
, and it’s only fair I answer. “I don’t have one.”

“You don’t have one
?”

I shrug while I sip my wine. “Unless you count Stacia.”

“What happened to your family?”

I haven’t allowed myself to contemplate it in so long that I feel empty as I explain. “I never knew my father
, and my mom died after a complicated delivery when I was fourteen.”

“So you have a sibling?” He turns back
toward me and props his head on his fist.

“I only saw him once.” And I’ve never forgotten how small and perfect he was. I wanted to take him home and take care of him the way I knew
Mom would’ve.

“What happened to him?”

“His dad disappeared as quickly as my dad did when he found out my mother was pregnant. Apparently Mom had impeccable taste in men.” Maybe she was just too trusting and couldn’t see when someone was there for all the wrong reasons.

“He was adopted a week after my mom passed
away, and I never saw him again.” I thought of him every day and wondered if he was happy as I was when it was just me and Mom. He’s the only link I had left of my mother, and it hurts that I’ll never get to see the piece of her in him.

“And what happened to you?”

“Foster care.”

He raises an eyebrow
. “Was it bad?”

It’s a shame that every time I mention my time in foster care
, everyone assumes the worst. “It wasn’t bad. There’s no horror story to tell, but it was never home. My mom was my everything for fourteen years, so when she died my world disappeared.” I lie down next to Jude, so close the hairs on his arm brush against my arm. He has the right idea because the view of the deep blue sky is spectacular. “No matter how much my foster mother tried to make me feel at home, a void like that can never be filled.”

He moves abruptly, leaning over me and
moving his hand down my neck. “If you don’t let anyone in, how will you ever fill the emptiness?”

“
Stacia’s the only person I’ve trusted in that way.” I try to turn away from his gaze, but he turns my head back around with a finger to my chin.

“When do you think you’ll let someone else in?”

“Do you think I’m shutting you out?”

“I know you are. That shield you hold up is pretty solid.”

“Since when did you start wanting in? This was supposed to be about sex.”

He chuckles, low and deep, lowers his head
, and runs his nose along the sensitive skin behind my ear. He’s sniffing me again. I can’t help the thrill that runs through me when he does that. His smell is as enticing to me as mine is to him. The hard bulge pushing against my leg gives away his vulnerability.

“We surpassed just sex a
while ago.” His breath caresses my ear. “You know it.” He kisses my jaw softly. “And I know it. Don’t make it complicated, okay?”

I nod as if hypnotized by his eyes. His lips brush softly against mine. He nibbles on my bottom lip, and then slowly thrust
s his tongue into my mouth. His kiss is lazy and sensual, as if he could do this all day long. His body covers mine as he breaks away from my mouth, kissing my neck and face.

“I like this,” I admit.

“What?” he asks, looking at me with passion-filled eyes.

“This kissing thing you’ve
started doing.” I smile shyly at him, embarrassed by my admission.

“You like that, do you?” H
e plants a soft, wet kiss on my lips with a sexy smile.

I moan as he nips again. I really love his tendency to bite me. Only intense hunger can cause a person to bite someone. I know that kind of hunger
; I want to bite my way down his body and feast on his manhood. “I’ve wanted to kiss you like this since the first night.”

“Why didn’t you?” he asks, still running his tongue down my neck.

“You pulled away.”

He pauses then looks away for a couple
of seconds and back at me. “Yeah, I did.”

“Yeah
, you did.” I hope I don’t sound too hurt by it, even though it did sting.

He sighs
. “It’s not that I didn’t want to kiss you. I just didn’t want things between us to escalate. I thought I knew what I wanted from you, but I was wrong.”

He rolls off me and pulls me into his arms. I silently contemplate how quickly Jude has crept into my heart
. The boat sways in the water, and the sun sets in the distance. Moments like this are the ones that fill the void I was talking about, but I’m not ready to face what it means or admit to Jude I may be in love with him.

“Are we going back soon?”

“No. We’re staying out here tonight.”

I angle my head so I can look into his face. “Why?”

His dark eyes are filled with mischief when he responds. “Because I want to take you downstairs into the cabin and fuck you until you can’t walk. I want you to make you scream so loud it echoes over the ocean and causes ripples in the water.”

Well
, if he puts it like that we can stay out here all weekend.