Deceitfully Yours (15 page)

“Anything.”

“Did your divorce have anything to do with Tyler?” If he never wanted children, I need to know Tyler was loved.

“Partly. Marcus was always
unemotional when it came to Tyler. I felt like I forced him into something he didn’t want because he wanted to make me happy. Tyler made more of an effort than he did to connect, so eventually the strain and other factors tore us apart.”

“I’m sorry,” I say when I see her sad expression.

She smiles and shrugs. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I’ve never regretted having Tyler in my life for one second.” She leaves the room. Tyler enters moments later and sits in the chair next to mine.

“Are you mad at me?” he asks, twisting his hands.

“No, I’m not mad at you.” I look at his face, and this time I can see it. I can see that small glimmer of Mom shining through. He has the same dark brown, wavy hair she had. “You would’ve loved her.” I say it more to myself than to him, but he smiles and nods.

“Will you tell me about her?”

“Yeah, but not now. I think we’ve had enough excitement for today.”

“Yeah
, I agree.”

“You’re very smart for a
nine-year-old.”

“You remember my age?”

“Of course I remember. You were born on August eighteenth at four thirty-eight in the morning. I took your vey first picture with the camera Mom bought me.” Mom never got a chance to see Tyler, so I placed that picture in her coffin on the day she was buried. There were many days I wished I had that picture to remember him by, but I wanted Mom to have it. Now I have Tyler back and I can almost see my mom’s bright smile when I close my eyes.

By the time Patricia walks me to the door
, I’ve spent over four hours in her home. “So I guess the photo shoot was a cover.”

“Oh no, the photo shoot was real. I definitely want your
photos featured in my magazine. You have a talent, Kylie. I’ve seen your work.”

“Thank you, Patricia.” She pulls me into a hug that I return this ti
me. “For everything,” I whisper into her neck. She nods before releasing me.

I walk out
of the house and down the cobblestone path, a different person than I was when I walked up it earlier. I can’t deny my heart is not as heavy. The love I feel for my brother has eased that constant ache inside me. Everything I want has been laid out in front of me, but I’m sure everything I’ve done will tear my happiness away.

********

I don’t know how I ended up here, but my heart took over and guided me back to the home I shared with my mother. There’s only one other house to the left. On the right side I follow a path leading to the river behind the home. An old tree that my mom attached a swing to is still there. I sit on the swing out of habit, even though I know the tree borders the house and isn’t part of the public river.

I can almost feel my mother’s hands push against my back as I sway on the swing.
I know this is the place I needed to come after meeting Tyler.

“I found him
, Mom, and he’s…he’s everything I thought he would be. He has your hair. I remember when he was born he had a light dusting of blonde hair, but now it’s dark and wavy.” The sun is setting over the trees behind the river. The beautiful sunset was always my favorite part of living here. “His name’s Tyler…Tyler Manning and…”

A hand taps my shoulder
, causing me to jolt off the swing. An older lady with graying hair smiles at me. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“No,
no, I’m sorry. I was trespassing on your property.” I jump off the swing and straighten my clothes.

She shrugs and says, “I usually get a lot of children back here. I just thought it was odd that an adult would come to swing.”

“I used to live here…years ago.”

She narrows
her eyes and stares at me for a while. “Kylie?”

“How do you know my name?”

“When I moved into this house there was a ton of stuff here. The only thing that stuck with me was the pictures of the cutest little blonde girl. Your name and age were written on the back of each one.”

“Yeah
, my mom was really anal with documenting photos.” I smile at the memory of my mom categorizing mountains of photos in her scrapbooks and picture boxes.

“Wait here
. I’ll be right back.” She scurries into the house. A while later she returns she hands me an old, dusty box that causes my eyes to mist over.

“
This was one of my mom’s photo box…You kept this?” I look at her in amazement, and she nods, wearing a slight smile.

“I heard what happened to your mom
, and I thought maybe one day you’d come looking for it, so I saved it in the attic.”

“My God…t
hank you. You have no idea how much this means.”

“My pleasure, dear, I hope this is what you were looking for.”

“I wasn’t looking for anything. I came here to feel close to her.”

She nods then smiles sadly. “You’ve had a hard time without her. I can tell by that aimless look on your face. At some point you have to stop wandering and find a place to belong, a place you can call home
, and bring your mother’s memory with you.” She pats my shoulder, turns around, and goes back into the house.

I walk back to my car and drive
toward Jude’s house before I have a total breakdown. The minute he opens the door, tears begin to well in my eyes again. He pulls me in the house, and I sob openly on his chest. “What’s going on, baby? Please, talk to me.”

I push off his chest and look up at him with blurry eyes. “I met my brother today
, and he’s amazing. Then I went to my mom’s old place, and some lady gave me this.” I show him the box I’m still clutching. “It’s full of photos of me and mom. Then I came here, and you’re waiting for me. You’re always waiting for me…Do you know how it feels to just have someone waiting for you?” He smiles at me while wiping my tear-stained face. He’s not even fazed by my blubbering rant. “So much has changed in the last month. I don’t know how to handle everything.”

He scoops me up into his arms
and carries me into his room. He lies down beside me with my mom’s photo box between us. “We’ll handle it together. One day at a time, okay?”

I nod my head, taking a calming breath.

“Will you show me your mom?”

I pull the box closer to my chest. “I’m scared to open it.”

“How can you be scared to remember someone you love?”

“Remembering might break my heart.”

“Then I’ll be here to pick up the pieces. You can’t keep your mom’s memory locked in a box. Let her be a part of your life, and it won’t hurt so much.”

I slowly uncurl my finger on the edge of the box and push it
toward him. For two hours we go through pictures.

The night was full of tears and unexpected laughter. I fell asleep on Jude’s lap, clutching the last picture I took of my mom. In the picture she had the cutest little pregnant belly
, and she was sticking her tongue out at me. My mom was as amazing as I remembered. I hadn’t made her bigger than life after she died. She was bigger than life in her smile and because she loved me with everything she had.

Kylie

The weekend of Emma’s wedding arrive
s quickly. As we pull up to Jude’s parents’ house for our weekend stay, I begin to regret letting him talk me into this. My stomach feels so unsettled that I think I might throw up. Jude is practically dragging me because my nerves have overcome me.

The house is a big
, beautiful white colonial with perfect landscaping. It’s like something right out of Patricia’s home and garden magazine. I don’t belong here. I don’t do well in family settings. They’re foreign to me, and I really don’t want to make a fool of myself in front of Jude’s parents.

“Don’t worry so much. They’ll love you,” Jude says, opening the door and pulling me into a huge foyer.
A tall, older version of Emma rushes over to greet us.

“Mom
, this is Kylie. This is my mom, Teresa.”

Her smile is huge as she pulls me in for a hug.
“Maryanne told me all about you.” She steps back, grasping both my hands, surveying me. “Look at all this beautiful hair. I dyed my hair blonde once. It didn’t work out for me but on you…fantastic.”

“Thank you. Your home is
lovely.”

“Let me show you around. You’re welcome to come back anytime, with or without Jude.” She pulls me down a hallway to begin her tour, leaving Jude behind. When I look back at him with pleading eyes
, he shrugs and goes in the opposite direction.

Despite my first impression outside
, the inside of the house has a homey feel to it. It is large, but all the rooms are basic with lots of family memories. The last room she takes me to is a man cave of sorts: huge television, pool table, and a mini bar.

Jude and his dad have already begun a game
of pool. “This is my husband, Bradley. Your son finally brought Kylie to meet us.”

He smiles and shakes his head at his wife.
Bradley Baxter is tall and incredibly handsome for an older man. “Don’t mind my wife. She’s been going on and on about you since you had dinner with Maryanne. We are happy to have you here this weekend.” He clasps my hand in his for a firm shake.

Good Lord…what an amazing accent. Bradley Baxter most likely made women swoon in his days, probably still does. Bradley and Jude manage to
talk me into a game of pool, which I lose. They are obviously pros at the game and pulled me in to embarrass me.

Jude’s mother makes her famous sauce and pasta for dinner, and it’s even better
than when Jude made it. After dinner Teresa and Bradley huddle up outside near an outdoor fireplace like young lovers. Their relationship is so fun, easy, and loving. I can see why Teresa would want the same for her son. Unfortunately, I’m not the right person to give him that. No matter how hard I try to convince myself it’s possible.

********

Jude’s childhood bedroom has been left untouched. There are a few pictures of him and his friends in high school. He wasn’t always so well built. He was actually pretty lanky in those pictures.

It’s weird what you can find out about a man from childhood memories. I would’ve pegged Jude for a
football jock, but instead he has trophies from fencing tournaments.

Jude comes out of the bathroom naked. His body is alluring
, but his demeanor is intimidating. He stalks over to the bed, and I know that look in his eyes. He wants to play, but this is not exactly the right place to let Jude make me scream.

“No
, Jude.”

“Yes.” He seems even bigger as he climbs on the full size bed, which is really small compared to his king sized one at home.

“I’m not afraid of you,” I say as he crawls toward me, all bunched up muscles and masculine strength.

“You were never supposed to fear me.” He hovers over me
, and I can almost feel the intensity of his arousal coming off his warm skin.

The stubble on his jaw grazes my face
, and he whispers, “I want your trust.” He continues kissing down my chin. “I want to entice your mind.” He licks a path up my neck, and I moan as he presses his rock hard erection against me. “I want to capture your spirit and give it the peace it deserves. Take away all the worries that keep you so tightly wound.”

God, why is it such a
turn-on when he whispers this way? He flicks his tongue lightly over my ear as he continues tantalizing me with his words. “And I want to command your body until you submit to me and admit to yourself I’m the only man who can give you the kind of ecstasy you crave.”

Oh
, yes, yes, yes! Waves of pleasure float through me, and I wonder if it’s possible to climax from words. Sexy, seductive words that are making me want to demand he give me a piece of that ecstasy right now.

Turns out I didn’t have to demand anything. Despite my refusal, Jude gave me more ecstasy than I could handle. So much so, he had to hold a hand over my mouth to keep my screams from carrying through the house as he pounded me into his childhood bed.

********

The next morning Jude wakes early to make some business calls.
After waiting fifteen minutes for him to get off his phone, I decide to venture downstairs alone. The kitchen is empty, but I can see Jude’s mom out on the patio. She looks my way and smiles as I step out the door.

“Oh
, good, you’re up. Come have breakfast with me.” She motions toward the empty chair and uncovers a platter with eggs and bacon. “Where’s Jude?” She fills a plate and puts it in front of me.

“He had a business call.”

“Baxter men…” She shakes her head. “All work, no play.” Jude finds plenty of time to play, but I’m sure she knows nothing about the kind of games her son enjoys.

“I’m so glad he brought you this weekend. I was beginning to think he’d never settle down.”

“We’re just friends, Mrs. Baxter.”

“Please
, call me Teresa, and you didn’t sound like friends last night.”

Oh
my God.
I almost spit out the juice I had been sipping on. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect your house. Jude was just so persistent and—”

“Calm down
, dear. It’s fine.”

My face feels like it’s on fire.
I’m so embarrassed.

“I know all about persistent Baxter men. I wasn’t trying to embarrass you. I’m glad he brought you home.”

“I don’t want you to get your hopes up. Our relationship is complicated.”

“What relationship isn’t
complicated?” She reaches over and pats my hand. “I don’t know anything about the arrangement you and Jude have, but I can see you’ve gotten a lot closer than either of you is willing to admit.”

I have come to accept we are
having more than a sexual relationship. I just refuse to admit it out loud.

The door slides open
, and Emma steps out. She stops walking when she notices me and openly gapes at me. “What are you doing here?”

“Jude invited her
, dear. She’s his date.”

She fakes a smile and sits opposite me at the table.

“You didn’t tell me you met Kylie,” Teresa says.

“I don’t tell you about every tramp Jude fucks.”

Mrs. Baxter gasps and jumps out of her seat. “Emma, you will not disrespect a guest in my home that way.” Her face is flushed.

“Sorry
.” Her apology is stale, but it calms her mother down enough to return to her seat.

“Did
Kendra get here yet?” Emma asks her mother. I know Emma wants Kendra here to get Jude away from me. Maybe Kendra would be a better match for him, but the thought only makes me sick. I pick up my fork, trying to eat even though Emma is making me uncomfortable.

“Good morning.”
Jude walks over, immediately easing my tension, making me feel safe from Emma’s torment. I look up into his eyes and can’t seem hold back the smiling as I remember the way he mastered my body last night.

He takes a seat next to me
, drags it closer, and grabs a piece of bacon off my plate. I pull the plate away from his reach. “Get your own.”

He leans over, his legs brushing against mine
, and whispers into my ear, “Is that the way you treat your Master?”

Fire ignites in my face
while I hope his mother and sister didn’t hear his whispered words. He leans back in his seat and watches me, waiting for me to serve him.

I pick up my last piece of bacon and feed it to him. His triumphant smile doesn’t embarrass me, but the excited grin on Mrs. Baxter’s face does. She’s right
; this thing between Jude and me feels so natural it may be everything she’s hoping for, but everything I’m against. Even Emma is giving us a strange look from her side of the table. It’s like she’s trying to decide what happened to her brother. Whatever it is she suspects I’m doing to him, I’m sure he’s giving it back to me in spades.