Dear Playboy Advisor: Questions From Men and Women to the Advice Column of Playboy Magazine (40 page)

Do black men have larger penises?

I am an African American man in an interracial marriage. Before I married, I dated women of various races, and almost all shared a belief that black men have extraordinary genitalia. At first I took this as flattery, but as I got older, I started to wonder if it could be considered racist. The problem is, some of my black friends seem to believe it too. Am I being too sensitive about this? Is there any truth to this belief?—G.B., Atlanta, Georgia

There haven’t been any comprehensive studies to determine if erection size differs among races, mainly because it doesn’t matter, or as scientists will tell you, it has “little physiological consequence.” Alfred Kinsey asked 2,376 whites and 59 blacks to measure their penises and mail him the results; the average self-reported erection, regardless of race, measured about six inches. The belief that all black men have large penises dates back to at least the 15th century. It was later spread by anthropologists who drew broad conclusions based on their discovery of single well-endowed tribesmen. This particular myth reflects the stereotype that all black men are sexual beasts. Not that other races haven’t tried to claim the penis prize for their own. One “sexologist” who measured the penises of a sample of men of various nationalities found that the longest white, English penis extended at least two inches beyond the longest African, German, French, Danish, American or Swedish variety. The researcher was, of course, a white Englishman.

Illegal boners

A friend claims that having an erection in public is illegal in some states. If so, how is it enforced? What’s the penalty?—M.V., San Diego, California

Control problems? Steer clear of Indiana and Tennessee. In Indiana, appearing in a public place in a “discernibly turgid state” is a misdemeanor punishable by as long as a year in jail and up to a $5,000 fine. In Tennessee, your bulge could lead to a $500 fine, though the state exempts boners that appear in restrooms, locker rooms, doctor’s offices, college art classes and nudist camps. Even in states that don’t specifically ban erections, police officers may make arrests. Bob Morton of the Naturist Action Committee notes that many statutes distinguish between nude, which is sometimes legal, and lewd, which is always illegal. He says cops reason that if a guy is visibly aroused, something lewd must be going on, so they bust him. Morton also notes the difference between turgid and well endowed but flaccid, and that certainly some men have been falsely accused. These laws typically are designed to intimidate customers at strip clubs and to prosecute gay men who cruise for sex.

Answering a tough question

What do you say when a guy asks if his penis is too small? It seems like a no-win situation. If you say it’s huge, he won’t believe you. If you say it’s small, he’ll be hurt. Should you tell him, “Yes, but your tongue makes up for it”? And guys, this isn’t a good thing to bring up when you’re basking in the afterglow. It ruins the moment, believe me.—A.L., St. John, New Brunswick

You’re right. You can’t win. Say, “It feels wonderful to me.”

Enlarging your penis

I am 35 years old and my erect penis measures about five-and-a-half inches. I’ve always been insecure about my size, and lately have seen a lot of ads for penis-enlargement surgery. Do you recommend it?—G.S., New York, New York

This is one of the most common questions asked of the Advisor, and we’re always amazed at what some men are willing to risk to add a measly inch to their normalsized, functioning penises. Thousands of men have had globs of fat injected into their dicks or ligaments sliced to create the illusion of greater length, and certainly some have been satisfied with the results. But when things go wrong during cosmetic penis enlargements, they really go wrong, which makes us wonder about anyone who would recommend or perform the surgery. In 1994 a surgeon in Miami was convicted of manslaughter after a patient bled to death following cosmetic surgery that included a penis enlargement. More recently, Dr. Melvyn Rosenstein, who claims to be “the world’s leading authority on penile surgery,” had his license suspended after a judge ruled he was negligent and incompetent. More than 40 of his former patients claim that he botched their surgeries so badly that they suffer from symptoms including intense pain, scarring, deformities, loss of feeling, decreased sexual function, and a decrease in size. If Dr. Rosenstein was the world’s leading authority, how confident does that make you about the other guys?

I dropped $400 on Enzyte, a product that claims it can increase the size of a man’s penis by an average of 24 percent. It goes so far as to instruct the user to discontinue use if he gets too big for his lover’s vagina. I used a full dose for about three months and saw no change. How can this company advertise such great results? Doesn’t the government regulate claims like these?—T.R., Seattle, Washington

Unless a company says its over-the-counter product prevents or cures disease, the FDA doesn’t investigate. As a result, you see a lot of bullshit about herbal mixtures that allegedly can add as much as four inches to your length. Save your money. Dr. Stephen Barrett, vice president of the National Council Against Health Fraud and editor of Quackwatch.com, says all penis-enlargement pills should be regarded as fakes. In fact, he has yet to find a mail-order health product that lives up to its claims, and he’s been searching for 25 years. Many readers have asked the Advisor about Longitude, a big-dick pill containing zinc, yohimbe, oyster meat, oat straw, cayenne, pumpkin seed, licorice root, boron, ginseng and other ingredients. In 2002 Arizona law enforcement and U.S. Customs officials seized $30 million worth of homes, offices, luxury cars, jewelry, bank accounts and cash from the three principals of the company (two guys and one guy’s mother) that marketed Longitude over the Internet, on the
Howard Stern Show
and in men’s magazines such as
Maxim
and
Penthouse
. Enzyte is smarter about the pitch; it refuses to offer a money-back guarantee (which is what got the makers of Longitude in trouble), never promises that changes will be permanent and notes that the product “doesn’t work for everyone.” The only evidence it presents is a survey of 100 customers, nearly all satisfied. Dr. Barrett says not to put too much value in testimonials, which are often solicited with cash or free products.

Are you saying there is no hope for small guys like me to increase their size?—H.M., West Bloomfield, Michigan

There’s no method to increase the size of your cock outside of surgery, and even that will increase your length only when flaccid. The good news is that you’re probably not as small as you think. Most men measure four to six inches when hard. Only two percent have erections longer than 7.2 inches.

I guess you’ve never heard of jelqing. It works, but it’s a pain to set aside 30 minutes six days a week to do it. I jelqed for a couple of months. The increase was especially noticeable in the flaccid state, with the most pronounced growth near the head. One must jelq regularly to keep the gain, and there is potential for serious injury if you’re overzealous.—M.N., Walters, Oklahoma

Your experience with this risky and unproven method, which involves “milking” your penis regularly for months, is unusual. Why not spend that three hours a week on something productive, like volunteering at a homeless shelter, or therapy?

Your attitude toward penis enlargement is uninformed. I used moist heat, massage and stretching daily for two years to go from six to seven inches. In the flaccid state I now have a nice bulge. The boost to my confidence, not to mention the satisfaction of the ladies, is immeasurable.—H.M., Stockton, California

We can measure it. If it’s tied to your penis size, it’s still low.

Curving penis

During the past few weeks, my erections have started to curve to the left. Is this something to be concerned about?—S.R., Wheeling, West Virginia

Maybe it’s the girl next door. You’re likely suffering from Peyronie’s disease, named after the French physician who first diagnosed it in 1743. In many cases it appears after an injury to the penis causes scarring or fibrosis. A common analogy is to imagine a long balloon being inflated with a piece of tape on its side. Some erections have a slight natural curve; Peyronie’s is distinguished by sudden, unexpected bending down, up or to either side (depending on where the scar tissue forms; you may feel it as a ridge or knot). Most of the time the condition runs its course without treatment, but it can take months or years and may be painful initially. Urologists have battled Peyronie’s with vitamin E, Potaba steroid therapy, corticosteroids, radiation, ultrasound and surgery, among other treatments. Visit a urologist, but give the condition time to correct itself before agreeing to anything as drastic as surgery.

Check your balls

One of my balls is larger than the other. I’m hoping it’s not a sign of cancer. Is there a self-exam that I can do like the ones women perform on their breasts?—R.K., Burlington, Vermont

One testicle is almost always larger than another—no worries there. Eight out of 10 times the left ball hangs lower. What’s not normal are hard, painless lumps. Testicular cancer is relatively common among men under the age of 35, so it’s prudent to check yourself once a month after a warm shower. Gently roll each testicle between the fingers and thumb of each hand. Don’t be confused by the soft, tube-like structure behind each testicle—that’s the epididymis, which carries sperm. And free-floating lumps in the scrotum are not cancer. See a doctor if you feel anything out of the ordinary, if one of your testicles swells or decreases in size, if you feel a heaviness in your scrotum or a dull ache in your abdomen or groin, if you have pain or discomfort in your balls or scrotum or if your breasts are enlarged or tender.

The penis-foot connection

Is it true that the bigger a man’s feet, the bigger his penis?—H.T., Mesa, Arizona

Urologists at St. Mary’s Hospital and University College in London gently stretched and measured the flaccid penises of 104 patients, average age 54, but found no correlation to shoe size. Greek researchers at the Naval and Veterans Hospital of Athens had more success correlating the flaccid size of 52 men between the ages of 19 and 38 with the length of the men’s index fingers. We know of several body parts that correspond with the length of a man’s penis, but they all belong to women.

Is circumcision necessary?

What happens if one parent opposes the circumcision of a newborn son and the other parent insists on it? My wife and I have been discussing this as we try to have a child, but I can’t convince her that circumcision is an unnecessary and painful procedure. Who does the doctor listen to? If my son decides he wants to have it done when he’s older, fine, but no infant should be forced to endure it.—S.G., Calgary, Alberta

We would want to hear your wife’s reasons for wanting this procedure, because we can’t think of any good ones. If a physician knows there is a strong disagreement between the parents over whether to circumcise an infant, he would be foolhardy to perform the surgery. Point out to your wife that you are not alone in believing circumcision is unnecessary—rates in the U.S. have fallen from 80 percent to 90 percent in the early 1970s to about 60 percent today, in part because more parents are being educated. The American Academy of Pediatrics doesn’t recommend it, and scientists who have taken a closer look at the prepuce have found that it contains a huge number of nerves. In fact, the nerve endings of the foreskin have been compared to those in the fingertips and lips. To remove either of those organs from an infant would be considered barbaric. Most men in the world aren’t circumcised; the surgery only became popular in the U.S. because 19th century doctors thought its removal would discourage masturbation, which they believed led to disease. When that justification fell from favor, doctors argued that circumcision improves hygiene. There is evidence that circumcised infants have fewer urinary tract infections and that circumcision may help prevent the transmission of HIV. But these risks can be addressed by less radical means, such as regular washing and condoms.

Penis piercings

I had my nipples pierced last year and now would like to get my penis done. I’ve settled on a Prince Albert, which, as you know, is a ring that enters the opening of the urethra and exits in the center of the V formed by the glans on the underside of the penis. I figure I can’t go wrong with a permanent G-spot tickler and added stimulation for the most sensitive part of my cock. Is there anything I should know before I have it done?—T.R., Reno, Nevada

Having someone punch a hole through your penis takes a special sort of faith. Readers tell us that besides the physical sensations, the best thing about having your penis pierced is walking around knowing you have a pierced penis. The Prince Albert is the most common penile piercing, and should be the least painful. You’ll bleed for anywhere from one to four days, particularly at night when you have involuntary erections. It takes about eight weeks for the wound to heal and as long as 10 months before you can remove the jewelry. You can attempt intercourse after the first few weeks, but proceed cautiously and keep everything sparkly clean. (Even healed piercings can create tiny tears in the skin that allow STDs a foothold.) Use plenty of lube on the inside and outside of a condom with an extraroomy head to cover the jewelry. Oral sex presents its own challenges: Penis jewelry has been known to chip teeth. So don’t rush her. The PA can stimulate the G-spot during doggy style, but if she prefers other positions you might consider an apadravya, or vertical bar through the glans. Some men also pierce their frenums, coronas and/or scrotums. One step at a time.