Deadly Expectations (7 page)

He laughed and dug in.
 
“You won’t tell Ray I fed you, will you?”

“He seems to be under enough stress already,” I said wincing as I straightened up.

“Yeah, but it’s endearing in a way.
 
Oh and with the exception of the new words you taught him when you came in you’ve been a really good patient.
 
It’s going to his head.
 
Most of us would rather bleed out than eat his Jell-O.”

I got my arms around my ribs as my laughter turned into a moan of pain.
 
“How many did you break?”
 
Denis asked.

“Feels like all of them.”

“Then you broke three.
 
I’ve broke plenty; both my own and other peoples.
 
Your bike is nice … you got a Canadian mechanic?”

“No,” I paused as the spicy potatoes melted in my mouth.
 
“My Dad taught me if you can’t fix it you shouldn’t drive it or live in it.
 
Do it myself.”

“Really?
 
Not much to do around here though the Captain manages to keep us busy.
 
Your bike is stashed in the shop,” he pointed back through the bathroom, “and there’s always things to fix.
 
Your gun’s in the lockup downstairs.
 
I’ll take you shooting when Ray lets you out.”

He was interrupted by the sound of the fallen cutlery being pushed out of the way outside the door.

“Ray?” I whispered.

“
Naw
, he can sneak up on anything.
 
One thing I’m glad of is I’m not smaller than Ray,” he said as Paul came in catching me shoving the last of the steak in my mouth.

“What’s going on Lieutenant?”

“He was starving her Paul,” Denis started, eye roll emphasis on ‘starving.’
 
Paul cleared his throat suddenly looking bigger than Denis.
 
“Lieutenant Jackson was starving her Captain Richards … I could hear her stomach rumbling all the way to my cabin.”

Paul thought a moment then swiped a piece of potato from my plate before reloading my IV with painkiller and swapping the bag.

“I could too,” he said as he left.
 
“Visiting hours
are
over in ten Denis or I’m telling Ray you’re constipated.”

Denis
gulped,
his eyes wide.
 
“You better get to the Jell-O Miss Creedy.”
 
He passed me one and took one for himself.
 
He finished it in a few mouthfuls and I watched him breathe through his nose for a minute like he wasn’t so sure it would stay put.
 
“If you can’t get it down or keep it down then you’re not well enough for real food but it’s so damn bad.
 
Down the hatch.”

I took a spoonful and put it to my nose.
 
It smelled fine so I put it in my mouth as Denis started to smile.
 
I
smooshed
it around with my tongue as he nodded.
 
“See?”

“It’s lumpy,” I said after I swallowed.
 
“And chewy; otherwise it’s not too bad.”

Denis laughed as he got our plates together.
 
“I’m sure you’ll still feel that way after you eat the ten that are still in the fridge.
 
I’ll leave you be.”

Chapter 7

“Why’d you do it?”

Paul was loud and for a moment I thought I heard the legs of the chair he was in hit the hardwood floor for emphasis.
 
I’d spent much of the last five days as still as I could.
 
Ray had taken out the IV when I finished the Jell-O and I had a bottle of pills instead.
 
The curtains were closed and in the lamp light his green eyes were grey with anger.
 
I slowly shook my head; I had no idea what he was talking about.

He held up a piece of paper.
 
“You were pregnant before we met.
 
Was it some drunken mistake you thought you could pin on me?”

“No Paul,” I stammered as my doped up brain struggled.
 
“I think it was
Vancouver
… torn in the trash
Vancouver
.”
 
There had been a torn condom in the garbage when I was packing to leave
Vancouver
two weeks after we met.
 
Only the second time we’d been together.

Paul put a hand on his head and tipped it back; a gesture I hadn’t seen before.
 
“Twelve weeks … even out here in the bush we can read a calendar.
 
Fuck Anna.”

The number helped with the math and damn it he was right.
 
I’d jumped a lot during the summer and could easily have lost that many days to my magic travel.

“Should I be flattered?
 
Do you wish it was me?”

I got an arm underneath me and pushed up to sit.
 
“
There’s
only been you Paul,” I tried to stay calm not knowing how I could talk my way clear.
 
“You know that.
 
The paper is wrong.”

“Sure,” he said sarcastically.
 
“I thought it was wrong when I first found out so Ray redid it.
 
Was it your high school sweetheart Kenny?
 
You said when you got here that he wanted his shot.”

“It wasn’t Kenny,” I answered wondering what else I’d gone off about during my blackout.

“Then who?”

“Paul Richards,” I spat out.

He shook his head and looked away.
 
Then he pursed his lips and shoved them up at his nose.

“You know, I think of myself as a gentleman.
 
If you’re woman enough to tell me the truth I’m man enough to back you up.
 
The one thing that gets to me is lies.”

“Paul Richards,” I repeated.

“No Anna, not Paul Richards.
 
Tell me it’s not me, tell me who it was and promise me that he doesn’t have a hope in hell with you otherwise I’ll get out of his way.”

“It was you Paul,” I stuck my legs over the edge of the bed and quickly wiped tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.
 

His anger seemed to soften as he stood.
 
“I know you have feelings for me.
 
You want it to be me.
 
But it isn’t.
 
Even when it’s here in black and white you’re sticking to the bullshit.

“I won’t tolerate being lied to,” he said raising his voice.

“And I won’t stand for being called a liar,” I shot back.

“There’s only one person who can fix this and it’s not me.
 
I’m giving you a chance.
 
Then we’ll see if we have anything we can put together for your kid.”

My arms reached around me and held tight so I could yell back.
 
“I won’t lie to you!”

“You already are!” he yelled then he stomped over to the closet and pulled out my backpack.
 
“I’m getting a truck.”

He threw it on the bed and stormed out.

I didn’t touch it.
 
Instead I pulled the curtains and stared out the window.
 
Snow fell hard.
 
The roof sloped away about eight feet and it was already at least six inches deep.
 
It clung to the branches of the trees thirty feet away at the far side of the overgrown back yard.
 
I rested my elbows on the high sill and my forehead on the glass and watched the little circle I made change size as I breathed.

He’d never believe the truth even if I told him.
 
The truck roared up to the front of the house and I heard Paul stomp snow off his boots before he came in and up the stairs.
 
I knew he could see me from the other end of the long hallway since he left the door open.

“You’re going like that?” he asked.
 
I wore one of his tees and a too big pair of pyjama pants Ray had scavenged for me.
 
My breath hitched painfully in my chest and I sniffled.
 
Paul disappeared into the bathroom and came out with a couple of tissues for me.
 
I took them without looking at him as he leaned back against the window beside me.

“We never even got out the gate did we,” he said.
 
“I thought your secret could explain it but I guess it can’t.
 
I can live with the truth.
 
I think there’s more for us ahead.
 
I can’t live with the lie that I’m your baby’s father.”

I sat on the bed and looked at my fingers, trying to smooth out the wrinkles they’d already made in the tissue.
 
Paul didn’t move.
 
He shoved his hands in his pockets as he watched me.
 

“What secret?”
 
I asked.

“You said a lot of things when we brought you in.
 
Between swearing at me for cutting off your favourite leather jacket and trying to take Ray’s eyes out you told me how you got here.
 
We thought it was how hard you got hit on the head.
 
I didn’t pay much attention until something happened later.

“I don’t think you’ve ever told anyone.
 
Maybe you’re afraid I’ll think you’re crazy but if you are then I’m right there with you.”
 
Paul took three quick steps toward me and dropped on his knees.
 
The paper was half under the bed.
 
He picked it up and turned it into a ball.

“Please Anna,” he said desperately.
 
He needed proof more powerful than the email with Ray’s name on it from Shasta Medical.
 
His hand went on my stomach.

“Please,” he said again.
 
“Don’t let your stubbornness screw this up.
 
It’s more than just two adults here.
 
I know in my heart he’s mine.
 
Tell me how I got you pregnant before I ever laid eyes on you.”

“You didn’t Paul,” I whispered starting to bend.
 
“Tell me what I don’t remember.”
 
I hadn’t asked anything about how he found me or my two missing days.
 
I’d avoided it so I could avoid the discussion I couldn’t get out of now.

“Trust me, Sugar … then you’ll tell me?”

I nodded.
 
So help me I would.

“Denis radioed when we were having dinner … said we had an intruder.
 
He’d found something.
 
Your motorcycle was there.
 
I ordered a search.
 
It was cold and if you’d wandered into the woods you’d be in trouble.

“I have a couple of big store sheds down the west road … you were hiding.
 
You wouldn’t let us get a collar on you or anything to move you.
 
Said men were coming for you … attacked you.
 
I finally had to phone you to stop you from going out but there was no answer.
 
It didn’t make any sense.
 
You gave in and let us wrap you up and move you in here.
 
You said it was too late to stop them.”

Paul got up off the floor and sat beside me.
 
“Then what?”

“You said you were riding by your home with a bunch of people.
 
Three of them separated you and tried to run you into a car.
 
You were scared … then you were on dirt and the other three crashed.
 
You pulled over and ran when you saw a big fight.
 
Ducked down an alley.”