Deadly Expectations (5 page)

“Why?” Paul paused.

“You broke it off for someone else Paul,” I said quietly.
 
“Now we’re in your bed.
 
She’s gonna kill me.
 
You were so distracted that last morning, then you dumped me with a message you were moving on.
 
I don’t know the name for what we were but it was important enough to me that I’m having a hard time getting past it.
 
I just needed to see you to tell you about the baby.
 
You don’t have to want me … there’s room for you with your child.
 
As much as you want.”

“Oh Sugar …,” he whispered as he covered my shoulder back up.
 
“We need to talk.
 
There isn’t anyone else.
 
There never was so relax.
 
I’m sorry I left you with that.”

I nodded even though that gave me more questions than answers.
 
And anger.

“Ray has pain meds that are safe for you and the baby and I’m going to be sick if I have to watch you hurt any more.
 
Trust me?”

“Yes,” I answered and grimaced as I tried to take a deep breath.
 
I trusted him as much as my sister and my father.
 
Even more since I’d told Paul about my family but I’d never told them about him.

“Not really allergic to anything?” he asked for some reason emphasizing the word ‘really.’

“I’ve never taken anything stronger than what you can buy at the grocery store.”

“Okay, sit tight.”

By the time Paul came back with Ray I’d recovered from the knife in my side I felt rolling over.
 
Ray pulled the cap of a needle and shot something into the line.
 
“Just a taste.
 
As long as you have no trouble breathing I can give you more.”

“Okay,”

“I’d like to check you out, if that’s alright,” Ray said.
 
I watched Paul and he nodded.

“Alright Ray.”

He started with a little flashlight in my eyes then his fingers reached for my bruised cheek and he paused.
 
“I like my fucking eyes were they are if you don’t mind.”

“Oh shit,” I felt my cheeks colour.
 
“I didn’t.”

“You did,” Ray said.

“I’ll keep my hands to myself.
 
I’m sorry.”

Ray hesitated a little longer than necessary before he started pressing around the bruising then he moved on to my neck.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.
 
“This isn’t the first time I’ve woken up with a headache and a black eye to hear that I wasn’t nice.”

“Didn’t think so,” Ray convincingly deadpanned.
 
“You did it like a pro.”
 
He looked at Paul who was trying not to laugh.
 
“But I’ve been thanked by bigger boys than you.
 
What happened last time?”

He’d slid a hand under my back to feel around my shoulder.
 
It felt a lot better than when I passed out in the alley.

“I woke up with my father standing in my bedroom door with the home number for a policeman I had to call with an apology.
 
I guess I felt the need to descriptively … ouch … question his parentage after he was kind enough to pull me out of a fight at a house party and drive me home.”
 
Ray had his hand on my ribs.

“They didn’t toss you in the tank?”

“Not when you’re fifteen.”

Ray shook his head as he put more medicine in the line for me.
 
“I think this will help with the headache.
 
Alright … tummy.”

I pulled the shirt up and he started under my ribs and worked his way down.
 
“Tender?
 
No bleeding?”

I shook my head for both.

“No getting out of bed and no romance for at least a week please until we’re sure the baby is in the clear.
 
Yell for me if you even think there’s a problem, okay Kiddo?”

“
Whee
,” I said, not really sure if I was still on the mattress.

“Better Paul?”
 
Ray asked.
 
“You passed out when I fixed your shoulder so I took blood because my uncooperative patient couldn’t tell me
what’s the matter
any more.
 
Paul sent one of the guys in to
Redding
to drop it off at Shasta for me.
 
That’s how we learned about the pregnancy … got the blood work back a little while ago.”

“Uh huh.”
 
My head swam as the pain started to fade.
 
“Thanks for being sneaky.”

“You’re welcome.
 
When you come down Paul we need to talk about who’s paying my bill.”

Paul lay down on the blankets next to me after Ray left.
 
I watched both of him circle each other for a moment until my eyes started to work together.

“You were pretty mad at me when we brought you in the other night,” he said quietly.
 
“You feel up to talking about it now?”

As long as I didn’t have to explain how I’d gotten close enough to
California
from
Canada
for Paul to find me I’d talk about whatever he wanted.
 
“What did I say?”

“You made what you said to Ray look impossibly polite.”

I took a deep breath and thought about it.

“Sorry Paul, whatever I said you didn’t deserve,” I told him.
 
“You had your reasons … you weren’t trying to hurt me.”

“And?”

“You dumped me with a five word message.
 
You changed your number.
 
I’ve felt more for you every day since then, not less.
 
You could have said ‘call me when you get in,’ you could have said that the awesome hotel room romps didn’t make up for when I hid under the desk.
 
You were in it for the fun and you’re too busy for some psycho who’s turned into—.”

Suddenly his mouth was on mine cutting me off.
 
He dug his elbow in to the bed and pushed himself up beside me catching mine open and turning my building anger with him into desire.
 
Desire as detached as the pain I was in so there was no way I could sink my fingers in to use it even if Ray hadn’t told me to look after the baby first this week.
 
He withdrew taking my bottom lip with him and I tried to follow until my ribs told me far enough.

“How do you do that?
 
I’m trying to be mad and you make the room spin,” I muttered as I closed my eyes waiting for it to stop.
 
Paul laughed and dropped his head to the other pillow.
 
Then he returned, hovering just in front of me.
 
I didn’t even try to focus.

“Sugar,” he sighed and brushed my cheek with his.
 
“I got a call in the middle of the night from my CO.
 
I had fifteen minutes to shake four guys out of bed and get them packed in a truck.
 
I was running down the road banging on cabin doors when I called to tell you I was shipping out.
 
My phone’s been working for a week since I got back.
 
CO is cheap and shuts them down when we’re in the field.”

“You said ‘sorry Anna I’m moving on.’
 
That’s all you told me.”

“Shit yeah,” his nose found its way behind my ear.
 
“I could have been gone for months.
 
I thought that was a kinder way to leave you than nobody here knowing to call you if there was bad news.
 
I was going to call you in a few days … I needed some time to adjust to being back after … being away.”

I nodded and brought a hand up to wipe my eyes.

“I’m sorry Anna.
 
I left you hurting and alone.
 
I promise it won’t happen again.
 
If we decide we don’t want each other we’ll both know why okay?”

“Yeah, okay.”
 
Paul rested his head on my shoulder and I got a hand up to his face.
 
He was too close to see clearly so I turned and kissed his forehead as my hand felt the stubbly line of his jaw.
 
“I had a really bad night before I came here.
 
I’ve never felt so alone.”

“What happened, Sugar?”

I turned my head away feeling weak for failing to look after myself.

“I had a break in.
 
The kid from the parking lot where we met was in my house.”

“Is that why you had a gun?”

“I didn’t … wait … I got it out from under the couch to put away while was packing.
 
Must have been doing too many things at once and stuffed it in my bag.
 
I don’t know why I bought it … can’t hit a thing.”

Paul laughed.

“Can Ray call my sister?
 
Alina Creed … she’s in my phone.
 
Talk doctor to her and say I had an accident?
 
And Tony.
 
Tell him to get Mrs. Desmond her groceries every week on my credit card.
 
He’ll know what she needs.
 
Maybe slip her some smokes.”

“Yeah, sleep now … we’ll keep an eye on you.
 
You’re safe here.”

Chapter 5

“Anna, wake up Kiddo.”

Someone was gently shaking my arm.

“Ray?
 
Morning.”

“Not yet.
 
I need to take some blood from you if that’s okay … prenatal stuff.
 
I’ll drop it off in town.
 
Did Paul tell you?”
 
Ray asked.

“Guess he forgot.”
 
I realized I was alone in the bed.
 
“Is he going with you?”

“No.
 
He goes for a run early most days but he’ll be back for breakfast.
 
Anyway, if you give me the name of your doctor I’ll make sure he gets a copy of the results.”

“Okay, go ahead but I don’t have a doctor.”

“No doctor?”

“Haven’t needed one since I was thirteen … I guess you’re my doctor now.”

I was glad I was lying down.
 
The IV was one thing.
 
Seeing my blood was something else entirely.

“Without doctor stuff from time to time I had no idea until now that I’m squeamish.”

Ray took my arm.
 
“Why don’t you close your eyes and tell me about the last time you needed a doctor?
 
I’ll make it quick, I promise.”

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes.
 
“Kenny next door was teaching me to ride his big brother’s dirt bike in the empty lot by our houses.
 
He was two years older and we’d taken the bike without asking.
 
I had Kenny on the back behind me.
 
It was a huge two stroke 650, the wrong bike to be learning on anyway.
 
It was working pretty well for a while but then he put his hand up my shirt and helped himself to a big old squeeze.”

Ray was already pressing a cotton ball on me so I opened my eyes and kept going.