Dangerous (18 page)

Amy

I glanced at the door, willing it to open as I had done for the past several hours. The slightest sound was enough to set me off, but this time it was different. I heard a scraping noise outside.

Gasping, I got to my feet and moved away from the middle of the floor to the wall. Ryan’s gun dangled uselessly from my hand—I still wasn’t sure I’d be able to use it if I needed to.

But I wouldn’t, right?
I thought.
He was being overcautious when he gave me that money and told me to disappear if he didn’t come back. He had to have been. He can’t…

I froze when I heard the scraping sound again. It was the door, I realized. Someone was at the door. I backed against the wall and held the gun out in front of me, pointing it straight at the door. The handle turned now; I saw it. Slowly, it pushed open. Inch by inch. I held my breath, waiting. Not wanting to rush to him in case…

My heart soared as he stepped inside. I cried out and started forward. But his face…

It was…

He opened his mouth to speak and I frowned, feeling myself sucked back into a tunnel of fear and dread; like I was sitting on the ceiling watching this, not living it.

“No,” I hissed, trying to steady my shaking hand.

Why the hell had he given me a gun? A banana would have been more useful—at least I could have thrown it without fear of it accidentally discharging and hitting me. Not that it would have protected me—I was almost certainly getting shot that night, I knew.

I swallowed. If he was here, it meant that Ryan had told them where I was. And that would only have happened if… I shook my head, overcome by grief at the thought of the life we wouldn’t get to share.

Pull yourself together.

I squeezed my finger on the trigger as he stepped inside the door, opening his mouth to speak.

“Don’t move. Get your hands away,” I screamed, trying to keep the panic from my voice although god knows he probably knew exactly the terror I was feeling.

He stopped moving. “Amy.”

Do it for Ryan
, I urged myself. My hand was still shaking too hard. I couldn’t miss; my first shot and it was vital that I hit the target.

“I said stay back,” I screamed.

“Calm down,” he whispered, holding his hand up. “Amy. I’m his brother.”

That threw me. “What?”

He took a step closer, his hand still out. “I’m Ryan’s brother. Jason.”

I froze. I’d seen the resemblance straight away—it was undeniable. That’s why I had almost run to this stranger. But what if… I couldn’t afford to trust him, not when it was like this.

“He told me he’d come back for me,” I hissed, almost hysterically, realizing what it meant. If it was his brother, if it wasn’t—either way…

He crossed the room. My eyes were blinded by tears now. Within seconds, he’d pulled the gun out of my heavy arm and pulled me to him, clasping me tight.

“Listen to me, Amy,” he murmured. “You’re safe now.”

I shook my head. “No. Ryan. You have to help him.”

He paused. As the seconds of silence went by, hope drained out of me. I’d held onto that slight sliver of optimism that maybe he was okay; he just got held up. But the look on his brother’s face told me otherwise.

“He’s…” I whispered, not even able to say what I was thinking.

“He’s lost a lot of blood.”

I frowned, pins and needles prickling my skin. Then a shiver ran through me. “What?” I looked up at him hopefully.

Up close there was no mistaking the resemblance. He was Ryan’s brother alright. But I was barely paying attention.

“He’s alive?”

He nodded.

I laughed, water and saliva shooting down my face. I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything else in that moment. “Why the fuck didn’t you say?”

“And risk getting shot before I disarmed you?” He grasped me tighter. “He’s not safe yet. Come on. I’ll take you to the hospital.”

“Wait,” I gripped his arm, wide-eyed. “The hospital?”

His cautious eyes appraised me. Then he nodded. “Yeah,” he said softly. “Mercy Hospital.”

“But…” I dragged my heels, not allowing him to pull me to the door. “Is he in trouble?”

He watched me silently for a long time. “You know what my brother is?”

I shrugged. “It’s kinda new to me.”

“Yeah well.” He sighed deeply. “Whatever he is, he’s my brother.”

Amy

I stared in horror at the tubes sticking out of his sides. Jason had given me a rundown of his injuries in the car on the way over. He was drifting in and out of consciousness, and the doctors had cautioned Jason not to get his hopes up.

Even with that information, nothing could have prepared me for the sight of him lying there helpless in the hospital bed. The parts of his skin that weren’t covered in tubes were covered with thick layers of gauze. I’d told myself all the way along the corridor to the ICU ward that I needed to keep it together. But I couldn’t. Tears welled in my eyes. I looked away.

“Hey,” he rasped.

I glanced down at him. I wouldn’t have believed it was his voice if I hadn’t seen his lips move.

“Hey,” I smiled through my tears.

We had a lot to talk about; decisions to make. But now wasn’t the time for that. Even after everything I’d found out about him, all I wanted was for him to be better. I couldn’t even think about…

“Are you okay?” he asked, squinting up at me through swollen, purpled eyes.

I nodded, tears welling in my eyes again. “Shouldn’t I be the one asking that?”

He smiled; it quickly turned into a grimace and my stomach churned at the thought of how much pain he must be in.

“I’ll be fine.”

I glanced back at Jason, raising my eyebrows. He shook his head, his mouth set in a line.

“Ya know, I’d tend to believe him. He’s resilient, this one.” He reached over and patted his brother’s blanketed legs.

I frowned. Their relationship seemed like a strange one. It was obvious that Jason adored his brother. But there was still an edge there.

“I hope so,” I said, turning back to Ryan and gently squeezing the callused skin at the edge of his palm.

His eyes widened then; his face grew serious. “Amy.”

I nodded. “I’m here. Relax. Please. Don’t try to talk too much. You’re safe.”

My heart raced. I’d asked Jason about Ben in the car, but he didn’t seem to know anything about it.

“He’s gone, Amy,” Ryan wheezed. “He’s—”

“Ryan,” Jason said sharply.

I spun around and glared at him. “He’s lying in a hospital bed; his life is in the balance. Why the hell would you snap at him like that?”

I knew I shouldn’t have said anything, but it wasn’t like I’d been able to stop the words from coming out. Jason didn’t react—he just shook his head.

“I’m a cop,” he said simply.

My mouth fell open as I turned back to Ryan. I remembered now. It hadn’t seemed so important when I’d thought Ryan was an insurance salesman. But now it all made sense.

“It doesn’t matter, man,” Ryan murmured. “It doesn’t matter.”

Jason leaned over him. “Yes it fucking does. I don’t know what kinda pain meds they got hooked into you, but it’s making you chatty. Don’t put me in this position.”

I looked from one to the other, not quite believing what I was hearing. Usually, my mind would be racing with questions, but right then I could only concentration on wishing Ryan would get better.

“Jason said you’re not in pain,” I said quickly.

Ryan nodded. “Yeah. They’ve got me on about twenty different meds. They say it’s touch and go, but whatever.” He shrugged slightly, wincing as he did so. “I reckon they got it wrong.”

I pursed my lips, not wanting to be negative. But I believed the word of a trained doctor over that of a heavily drugged hitman any day, even if I wanted more than anything in the world for him to get better.

“Amy,” he whispered, gripping my hand in his and squinting up at me.

My heart flipped over. “Yeah.”

“I’m so glad you’re here,” he whispered. “You’re… You’re what kept me going when another two of the Soldier’s men ran in and I thought I was—”

“Ryan,” Jason barked. “Would you please shut the fuck up?”

I turned back to face him almost laughing at the absurdity of their situation. I wondered how much Jason knew of his brother’s true life. He must have known enough if he kept censoring the conversation like this.

“Hey Jason,” Ryan said calmly.

“What?”

“It’s great to see you, it really is. But do you think…?” he jerked his head toward me.

Jason patted the bed and left the room without saying another word.

***

“I thought you didn’t see your brother much?” I asked, as soon as the door was closed and we were alone.

Ryan tried to nod but then thought better of it. “We haven’t seen much of each other these past years. Amy. I’m so glad you came. I…”

“Because of what you do?”

I can’t have the other conversation. I can’t. Not now.

A sad look flitted through his eyes, like he knew I was avoiding the subject. I couldn’t help it. He wasn’t in any fit state to hear what I had to say.

“You heard him. He’s a cop.”

I nodded. “Can’t have been an easy conversation over Thanksgiving dinner.”

He laughed, immediately groaning and clutching his side. “No. Not exactly. When I left the military, he thought I’d join the force. Instead…”

“He knows?”

“Some of it. Yeah. I try to keep him out of it. Wouldn’t want the guy conflicted. Well…”

I glanced at the door. “He is now?”

He smiled sadly. “I had no choice. I wasn’t sure how things were gonna go down with the Soldier. I thought I’d get away with creating a decoy—”

“A decoy?”

“Yeah. That’s where Jason came in. I thought if he could find a female body and convince Julia to identify it, we’d be able to get away.”

I frowned. “How the hell?”

He shook his head. “I didn’t have a lot of time. It’s worked in the past. But he didn’t fall for it like I hoped. We wouldn’t have time to get the decoy in place.”

I shook my head, feeling sick to my stomach. “You’re talking about someone else’s body. What, taking it to my apartment and arranging it—”

“No,” he wheezed. “No. Julia would have identified it in the morgue and made a fake police report so the Soldier’s guys would’ve pulled it and confirmed your death.”

“Oh.”

He didn’t respond. A strange look crossed his face.

“What?”

“He’s…” he shook his head. “I hadn’t planned to kill him. I would never have involved Jason if that was my goal. Things changed.”

I leaned forward. “Is he going to get in trouble for this?”

Ryan shook his head. “No, it’s not that. I just didn’t want him to see this side of me. I mean, he knew in theory. But this is different. I ask him to fake up a death report for Ben Knight’s ex-girlfriend, and then hours later he and five of his men turn up dead?”

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Hearing it confirmed like that was too much; too overwhelming on a day where I’d already had a lifetime’s worth of shock and fear. When I opened them, Ryan was watching me, misery in his eyes.

“I don’t blame you for what you did,” I said softly, unable to tolerate seeing him in pain. I meant it too—if it wasn’t for him, I’d be lying in a coroner’s office for real right then. He’d literally taken a bullet for me—several in fact.

He squeezed my hand and started to say something.

My heart wrenched. I knew we couldn’t talk around it forever, but I didn’t want to face it; not yet. Not while he was still lying in a hospital bed.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” he whispered.

“Thank you for saving my life. I’ll never forget that.”

I leaned over and kissed his forehead. I choked back the urge to tell him how I felt; to let the strange mix of emotions come flooding out of my mouth. It wouldn’t have mattered if I had—his eyes had fluttered closed and his breathing was steady, albeit helped by machines.

Ryan

One Week Later

Amy held the door open as Jason led me into my apartment. I still felt like crap, but I felt satisfied knowing I’d been right. It hadn’t killed me. Hadn’t exactly made me stronger either, but there I was. And Amy was unharmed, which was the most important thing in the world to me.

Things had been strange between us ever since the afternoon when I turned up at Julia’s door. We’d had so many halting conversations; so many words were left unsaid. I’d stopped trying to bring up the subject of ‘us’—I saw how much pain it caused her.

She was alive; I tried to console myself with that fact.

Jason led me to the couch and eased me onto it.

“Jesus, man. How can you live like this?”

Amy nodded. “That’s what I’ve been saying.”

“What?” I protested. “It’s a bit down-at-heel, but it does the job.”

He shook his head, seeming like he was going to say something. But he didn’t.

“What is it?” I asked. I couldn’t stand to see my older brother look at me like that.

“Nothing.”

“It’s not nothing. I can see. You’re dying to say something.”

He started toward the door and then stopped in his tracks, changing direction and coming back to flop on the seat beside me.

“What happened to you, Ryan? You had it all. You could have had a great career in the force. Instead…” he gestured around the apartment.

I bristled. “Money’s not important to me. That doesn’t mean I don’t have enough.”

His eyes narrowed. “I swore I wouldn’t do this. But what’s the price? Too high for me, that’s all I know.”

I closed my eyes and lay back against the couch. “It’s complicated. You don’t understand. You can’t.”

He leaned forward, hands dangling between his legs. “Don’t I? You don’t think I see this shit every day?”

“Not now, man,” I grunted.

He shook his head. “When, then? I don’t want it to be like the past ten years.”

“Me neither.”

He glanced over at Amy who was pretending not to listen. “Well then. You know what you need to do.”

I sighed, leaning back against the couch and running my hands through my hair. They’d shaved it tight at the hospital. I still couldn’t get used to the bristly stubble against my fingers.

“Hey, at least I look the part now,” I said with a smirk.

Jason shook his head disapprovingly. “Seriously? You gonna joke about that?”

“Naw man, I just… What are you expecting here? I learn the error of my ways and try to redeem myself? Maybe go work at an animal charity and help small kids cross the street?”

I looked from one to the other and realized I’d gone too far. Jason looked even sterner than he had before. And Amy… Her face had crumpled.

“I didn’t mean…”

She’d bolted for the door before I could finish.