Crazy Maybe (9 page)

Taking a deep breath, I stroll
around the corner of the house again to find them in the same challenging position.  I intentionally look down, picking imaginary lint off my clothes, as I called out to Luke, “I’m wore out, Luke.  Are you about ready to take me home?”

Their demeanor instantly relaxes and Luke responds
, “What if I don’t want to let you go?”

Brandon smirks and looks at him incredulously but I pretend to not notice it.

His words are yet another stab to my heart, since I know he doesn’t mean it, and this situation is yet another test of my acting skills.  “Oh, I think you’ll survive without me, Luke.”

Luke cocks his head to the side and narrows his eyes at me suspiciously.  Apparently my voice wasn’t as convincing as I tried for, but after the emotional family day, I’m doing well to not be a blubbering mess of tears and snot.  This is the best he gets right now.

“I need to say goodbye to your parents and Alicia.  But first, it was great to meet you, Brandon.  Don’t be a stranger,” and I hug his neck before walking in to find the rest of the family.  After saying thank you and sharing hugs all around, Luke and I leave and he drives me home with little conversation. 

He knows something is wrong but he doesn’t just come out and ask, so I’m not forced to dodge and deflect.  His lack of curiosity is a dead giveaway that he knows what’s wrong but doesn’t want to talk about it.

Before he put the truck in park, I open the door to get out.  Standing in the open door, I ask – rather meekly for me, “You still gonna be part of my show tomorrow night?”

“Of course, Andi.  Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Just making sure.  I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

He waits until I a,
safely inside before leaving, but I don’t turn and wave goodbye to him this time.  It is all I can do to get to my door without breaking down.  Once I am sure he was gone, I slide down the door to the floor and cry until I have no tears left.  I eventually drag myself to my bathroom, get ready for bed and take a cold washcloth with me, hoping it would help keep the swelling down in my eyes.

LUKE

I’m thinking back over the night on my way home after I drop Andi off at her house.  Brandon’s words keep coming back to haunt me.  He started his shit with, “Sure looks like more than ‘just friends’ to me, Luke.  You sure you don’t have something to tell us?” 

Brandon is such an ass.  He’s said that shit in front of Andi on purpose.  He knows something more is up between us but it’s like it was his mission to get me to admit it tonight.  He watched Andi all night – I know he did because I alternated between watching her and watching him watch her. 

It’s not that I don’t trust Andi, I just can’t hardly take my eyes off her because she takes my breath away.  I can’t believe how
well she fits in with my family.  They are all completely taken with her. 

And when she sang that song for the family, I was completely mesmerized.  I knew she could play – she’s strummed a couple of songs for me during the time we’ve been spending together – but hearing her sing that song was different. 

She uses songs to speak for her sometimes.  I know that was a song she knows by heart but I could tell from her very demeanor that she felt insecure.  Not just about her looks, but it seems she’s uncertain about her very worth.  She doesn’t show her vulnerable side to anyone easily, but I doubt anyone here even recognized the signs but me.  The more I learn about her, the more complex she becomes to me, and the more irreplaceable she becomes, too.

Gran is a sly little minx, but she caught me off guard earlier by saying what a good couple she thought Andi and Brandon would make.  Then laughed maniacally when she saw the look on my face.  I had no idea Andi got that necklace for Gran but she couldn’t have picked a better gift.  She remembered everything I’ve said about Gran and somehow knew exactly what to get her.  Seeing how much Gran was affected really gets to me in a good way.   

I had to tell Andi how much I appreciate her but I didn’t want it to be a big display for everyone to hear, especially Brandon.  So I nuzzled close into her ear and whispered to her how amazing I think she is.  When she melted into my arms, I had to fight to keep from performing a
totally inappropriate
display of affection in my parents’ backyard. 

She just feels so good in my arms, I don’t know how I can ever let her go.  And that very thought scares the shit out of me, so I eventually let her go and walked off to talk to my cousins.  Of course, they asked me about Andi and what’s going on with us. Damn, every single man there was more than willing to take her off my hands and they openly told me. 
Bastards.

My dad and my uncle approached me after I’d finished threatening my cousins’ lives if they so much as looked at Andi wrong.  Brandon had been lurking and listening to my conversations, in between watching Andi and doing everything he could to get into her conversations.  I turned to talk to my dad and uncle but still kept Andi in my sights – and Brandon.

“Luke, your Uncle Alex and I have been talking to Andi,” my dad’s tone of voice was genial, instantly telling me how much he enjoyed that conversation, “and she told us all about what you’re doing at the gym.  How hard your training is.  How dedicated you are to it.  I just want you to know, son, how proud I am of you for sticking with it.  I believe in you, Luke, and I want you to know I understand, now, why you want this.”

I was literally speechless.

My Uncle Alex picked up the conversation, “Yeah, Luke.  Andi explained what it’s like to step into the ring and what it takes to even get ready to do something like that.  I’m damn impressed with you, Luke.  I can’t wait to see you make it big,” Uncle Alex’s sincerity was palpable.  Being Uncle Alex, he couldn’t help but add, “I’ll be sure to tell everyone I taught you everything you know.”

I laughed at that and looked between the two brothers and I still didn’t really know what to say.  “Thanks, both of you.  I appreciate your support – it really means a lot to me.  I’ll even let you get away with taking the credit, Uncle Alex,” I added with a wink.  They carried a plate of food to the table and each clapped my shoulder in another show of support as they passed by.

More people came up to me at different times during the party to congratulate me on my boxing career, telling me how impressed they are and giving me encouragement.  Every one of them had talked to Andi and with every conversation, Andi had apparently been singing my praises.  No one has ever done that for me before and at this point, I’ve lost count of how many times this girl has saved my ass in one way or another.  And that only adds to my belief that I do not deserve her.  At all.

Still, she deserved to know what she’s done so when I found her alone in the backyard, I intended only to walk up to her and thank her.  But somehow my arms automatically went around her waist and I pulled her firmly against me and melted into her.  She looked so small and alone, just staring off into the yard, so I asked what she was thinking.

I don’t think her answer was at all what she was thinking but I let it go.  When she told me how proud my family is of me, I finally remembered the original reason why I walked out her to her.  I turned her around in my arms and told her that it was only because of her and what she’d said to them.  The way she was looking at me had me completely tongue tied.  She wanted to say something, I was sure of it, but she kept it in.  I was trying, however unsuccessfully, to tell her how important she is to me when Brandon had to fucking interrupt with his question.

I know Andi felt me tense up when Brandon said it looked like we were more than friends.  And I saw the disappointed look on her face when I didn’t confirm it.  Of course we looked like more than friends but it’s none of his damn business.  The thing is, I know I should have just said it.  I should’ve just told Brandon, and Andi, that I’m already crazy about her and I want us to be more than just friends, but I didn’t.  Andi pulled away and started cleaning up from the party while Brandon and I faced off again.

When Andi went around the house, Brandon’s anger flared at me, “
She’s. Not. Megan!
  You have to stop blaming yourself for that.  It wasn’t your fault.  Everyone can see that but you!  Andi is great and she’s obviously crazy about you.”  The more Brandon talked, the madder he got.  He stuck his finger in my face when he continued, “You’re pushing her away, man.  When you lose her, you will be sorry.”

I hissed back at him, insisting we’re just friends and we’ll never be more than that.  Brandon immediately called bullshit on me and when I didn’t answer, his demeanor completely changed.  He stared me straight in the eye and said, “All right, brother.  I believe you.  So, if you’re just friends, you won’t care when I call her and ask her out. Right?  Mind putting in a good word for me?”

The motherfucker wasn’t even kidding.  He’s not just goading me – he really wants to try to take Andi away from me.  Right at that moment, Andi came back around the house and called out to me, asking if I was ready to take her home.  I said the first thing that came to my mind after Brandon’s unbelievable request.

“What if I don’t want to let you go?”

I saw Brandon’s smirk but ignored him. 
Dick.
  Thankfully Andi didn’t seem to notice it but her answer, and more specifically her tone, was unusually cold when she said I’d survive without her. 
Where the hell did that come from? 
I know the disgusted look Brandon gave me all too well – he really wanted to punch me in the face. 

Andi then hugged Brandon goodbye and his eyes met mine when he took her in his arms.  The challenging look in his eyes said, “
If you don’t make her yours, I will damn sure make her mine.” 
Over my dead fucking body, brother.  Andi went inside to say goodbye to the rest of my family and I followed after her to keep her close to me, keep her away from Brandon, and to keep from getting into a brawl with my brother.

Andi was quiet on the way back to her house and I know why.  I know she was thinking about what Brandon asked, what he insinuated, and how I didn’t confirm it to him.  I let her down and I don’t know how to fix it now.  I should’ve said it at the house, in front of the whole damn family, and told her how wonderful and amazing she is.  But I just drove on in silence until we got to her house.  I was about to ask if I could come in when she suddenly jumped out of my truck. 

Then she stunned me by asking if I was still going to be in her karaoke skit tomorrow night.  Of course I’m still going to be there for her.  We’ve practiced almost nightly over the past two weeks and she needs me to be in it for it to work the way she planned it.  Why would she think I would back out on her the night before?

She closed the door and walked off to her front door before I could say another word.  And like a damn mute idiot, I just sat in my truck and watched her walk away.  Brandon’s words suddenly came back to haunt me. 
When you lose her, you will be sorry. 
I feel like I’m already losing her and I just fucking found her.  The closing of her front door felt like a bad omen – like she was shutting me out. 

Now I’m alone and can’t get her off my mind.  I can’t just sit here and do nothing when I feel her slipping away from me, so I pick up my phone and text her.

Still awake, beautiful?

My phone pings after a few minutes.  I didn’t think she was going to answer at first.

A:  Yes

Are you ok?

A:  Yes

Enough of the yes or no questions since she’s obviously not elaborating with her answers.

I wish you were here with me. 

And I wait again for the ping.

A:  You have plenty of friends to keep you company.

I don’t want a friend.

A:  What do you want then?

You.

ANDI

You? 
You? 
What the hell does that mean?  Yeah, I know he
wants
me but that’s just not the same and I can’t do this anymore tonight.  I turn off my phone, put my cold, wet washcloth over my eyes, and wait for sleep to take over.  I finally fall asleep but it’s a fitful sleep and I dream about him all damn night.  At 6 a.m., I’m wide awake so I get up and face the day.