Counseling Through Your Bible Handbook (27 page)

(P
SALM
56:8
ESV
).

No heartache is wasted when put in the Master’s hand.
When we enter our home in heaven,
we will see how our sorrows gave us sympathy…
how our tears gave us tenderness…
and our hurts gave us humility.

—JH

Psalm 25:3

Psalm 9:16

Psalm 18:30

Deuteronomy 10:17

Deuteronomy 32:4

Psalm 145:17

Psalm 10:14

Psalm 1:6

Romans 8:28

Psalm 55:22

For additional guidance on this topic, see also
Depression, Forgiveness, Guilt, Hope, Salvation, Self-worth, Worry
.

D
uring the Nazi regime, Hitler’s minister of propaganda said, “If you want someone to believe something, you have to tell it to him over and over and over.” If you are living in a state of fear, it’s because you have been brainwashed with false propaganda. You’re cowering in a corner, you’re in a ditch filled with dread, afraid to turn around, step out, reach out, and
get out
.

Hitler’s reign of terror ended years ago, and when the German people learned the truth about Hitler, they were emotionally set free.

Do you want to be set free from fear?

Fear
is a strong emotional reaction to imminent danger—real or imagined, rational or irrational, normal or abnormal.

— Fear acts as a protective device placed in us by our Creator to activate all our physical systems when we are faced with real danger. Fear triggers the release of adrenaline in the body, which propels us to action—action often called “fight, flight, or freeze.”
¹

— Fear is a natural emotion designed by God. However, living with a fear-based mentality or with a spirit of fear is not from God.
²

“God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind”

(2 T
IMOTHY
1:7
NKJV
).

Examining your fear, its origin, its legitimacy, and its pattern can help you understand your fear and develop a strategy to resolve it. First, go before God, who is the source of wisdom, and pray this prayer from your heart:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”

(P
SALM
139:23-24).

Specifically identify your fear—of what exactly are you truly afraid? And then ask yourself these questions:

— Is my fear tied to recent events or did it originate from some specific situation in the past?

— Is the object or occasion of my fear a true threat or merely a perceived threat?

— Is my fear wrongly associated with an event or object that should not be feared?

— Is my fear coming from certain places, people, or things that remind me of possible fearful consequences?

— Is my present fear-based mentality persisting even though the relationship or lifestyle in which it is rooted no longer exists?

— Is the fear I am experiencing a result of faking fear for so long as a means of manipulating people that it has now become real to me?

“The wisdom of the prudent is to give thought to their ways, but the folly of fools is deception”

(P
ROVERBS
14:8).

“I have no control over my fear. My only recourse is to avoid all fearful situations.”

God asks us to stand in
His strength
when we’re afraid. “As I face my fear in His strength, fear will not control me. Christ lives in me, and as I focus on His perfect love, I will feel His perfect peace in the midst of every fear-producing situation.”

“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love”

(1 J
OHN
4:18).

If you grew up in a home where fear reigned, you could have easily developed a fear-based mentality as a child and grown into an adult controlled by fear. At times, you find yourself feeling helpless and powerless to confront or to match someone strength for strength. You will remain at the mercy of those who are “master manipulators” with fear tactics unless you recognize the bondage you are in and accept the fact that Christ came to free the oppressed. Yes, Christ came to set you free!

“The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed”

(L
UKE
4:18).

Here’s what you can do when you feel afraid of a person or a situation:

— Ask yourself if what you fear is actually likely to happen.

— Realize that fixating on your fear guarantees its repetition.

— Understand that most fears have nothing to do with what’s happening now.

— Identify the past trauma(s) that first instilled your fear.

— Determine how current the fear is that you are presently feeling. Ask yourself:

• What past fear am I bringing into the present?

• When did this fear first begin?

• How old am I emotionally when I am feeling this fear?

• Where am I when I am feeling this fear?

• What is going on when I am feeling this fear?

• How is this fear affecting my life now? What is it costing me?

— Tell yourself, “I will not let this fear run my life. I will not let past fears control me.”

— Repeat this phrase over and over: “That was then, and this is now. That was then, and this is now.”

— Determine to get out of the grip of fear.

— Do what it takes to control your fear and to change from being fearful.

— Decide to live in the here and now and act in a way that is not based on fear.

— Share with a trustworthy person your fear and your plan for change.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective”

(J
AMES
5:16).

Knowing the truth and then acting on the truth is critical to conquering fear. The source of truth is the One who said He was the Way, the Truth, and the Life. “Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me’” (John 14:6). The primary resource we have for finding God’s truth is His Word, the Bible. The first step in applying truth is to identify the lies behind the fears you are experiencing and to replace those lies with facts. John 8:32 says, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

— Fear: “I can’t help this feeling of intense fear!”

Fact: “This feeling is a bluff to my mind and body. It is not grounded in truth.”

“Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then will I be confident”

(P
SALM
27:3).

— Fear: “I have this feeling of doom—a feeling that I am going to die.”

Fact: “The time of death is in God’s hands. I will choose to trust Him.”

“Man’s days are determined; you have decreed the number of his months and have set limits he cannot exceed”

(J
OB
14:5).

— Fear: “I’m afraid of what others are thinking about me.”

Fact: “My peace comes from pleasing God, not in pleasing man.”

“We make it our goal to please him”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
5:9).

— Fear: “I am hopeless and can never change.”

Fact: “In Christ, I am a new person. Nothing is hopeless.”

“If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

(2 C
ORINTHIANS
5:17).

— Fear: “I am so nervous, I can’t think clearly.”

Fact: “God will guard my mind and give me peace.”

“The peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus”

(P
HILIPPIANS
4:7).

— Fear: “To be safe, I have to be in control.”

Fact: “God is in control of my life, and He is with me step by step.”

“The L
ORD
himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged”

(D
EUTERONOMY
31:8).

— Fear: “I feel trapped with no way of escape.”

Fact: “God always makes a way of escape.”

“No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it”

(1 C
ORINTHIANS
10:13).

When abnormal fear exists, the level of fear is out of proportion to the actual situation. In fact, the fear may be totally unrelated to the situation. Abnormal fear can result in a panic attack. A person experiences a panic attack when four or more of the following symptoms occur, reaching a peak within ten minutes or less. (The body cannot sustain the “fight or flight” for any longer.)