Clearer in the Night (35 page)

The wolf and I both got very, very still. “You’re talking about Sophie.” Silence. “My sister.”

“Just the other day, you weren’t sure.”

“My sister.”

“Your father was killed by something the police say must have been a wild animal. Isn’t it odd that she left out that part of her story?”

“You think I should kill my sister. With no proof. When my mother has just gotten her back.”

“The fact that she turns up as you’re going through all of this hasn’t even seemed the slightest bit odd to you?”

“She is my sister. I can’t just…shoot her and hope for the best.”

“Even if it saves your soul? Even if it saves you?”

I shook my head. “If we knew—if we could prove that she’s hurt people—that would be one thing. But if I…did that, and was wrong—when she was gone, Mom would have no one. She’d be entirely alone. And I can’t do that to her. I won’t.”

Did I see disappointment cross his face? If I did, it was gone between one breath and the next. He reached out and gathered me into his arms, sitting down, pulling me between his legs. He rested his head on my stomach. I tangled my fingers in his hair after a moment; I couldn’t think where else to put them.

“How did things end with your grandmother?” I asked. “Am I okay to stay here?”

He nodded into my belly. “I took full responsibility for your actions while you’re here. So don’t go all Wolverine on me, okay?”

I managed a laugh. “Deal.”

“Good,” he said. “Can we go back to sleep now? It has been an impossible day, and you may not have noticed, but it’s three in the morning.” I let him draw me back down to the pillow and turn the lights down again. Quickly, his breathing evened out, and his arms loosened around me. But it was a long time before I slept.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 16

The days passed quickly. We practiced, we ate, we practiced, and we slept. Eli stayed with me each night. He kissed me, over and over again, but any attempt of mine to move beyond that was met with a gentle refusal.

As I started shielding my mind more reliably, Eli brought me to places with more people in closer proximity. I saw Liz, once, at the end of a hallway. I started toward her, but before I took two steps, Eli caught my arm in his hand. “No,” he said. “Her path isn’t yours.”

After five days of him flinging thoughts at me, I could feel them bouncing off my mental walls, but they didn’t make me flinch, and they didn’t break through unless I let them. Finally, between one assault and the next, I opened my eyes, and flopped down onto my back.

It took him a moment to even notice, and then he laughed. “What are you doing?”

“Stretching,” I said. “I’m bored. I know how to do this now.”

“When you’re focusing. Your control still slips when we’re in crowds—”

“Yes, but I always get it back within a few seconds, and I don’t flip out any more. Plus, this doesn’t help me get better at that. I declare it break time.”

Another minute, and then he sighed and flopped down next to me, his hands behind his head. “Lovely weather we’re having here.”

I laughed and rolled on my side, propping myself up on my elbow. “How did you get tangled up with this crazy bunch of characters?”

His face tightened up for the first time in days. “I’m not sure what you mean.”

I needed to drop it, I knew that, but I pressed on anyway. “Why are you here? What is it that you do?”

“Nothing good will come of this conversation, Cait.” His eyes were firmly fixed on the beams of the ceiling.

“I wouldn’t ask if I didn’t think I could handle it.”

“What if I don’t think you can handle it?”

My patience snapped like an old, dry twig. “Maybe it’s not up to you to decide what I can handle.”

I thought he’d flinch, but instead he flipped up towards me, his face right in mine. “Maybe you’re the first bright spot in fifty years of darkness, and the thought of losing you makes me sick inside.”

His eyes were flashing thunderstorms, his knuckles painfully white. “Eli, I—”

And then he was kissing me. He crushed me to him, his mouth overwhelming mine, his hands everywhere at once. Our nightly make out sessions had been practically polite, always gentle and soft, none of this need and want and incredible desire. I opened to him, and I felt his tongue and his mind slide inside of me with a sound that shivered through both of us. I could feel him touching me, and I could feel him feeling it, too. He was stone, and I could feel how much he wanted, how he’d been holding back, how he’d hardly slept for days from the sheer desire to pull me to him and give me what I kept asking for.

“Then do it,” I said. “I want you inside of me.”

He pulled me into his lap, pulling my hips over his hardness in an urgent rhythm. I threw my head back, gasping, and he bit my neck, hard. Urgent, passionate flashes came from my belly, begging me for the release I hadn’t had in days. “You don’t know what I am,” he murmured into my skin. “You don’t know what you’re choosing.”

I wrenched my mouth away from his, stilled my hips. I forced him to meet my eyes. His pupils were big enough to swallow the moon, my breath was heaving in and out with desperate need. “I am choosing you. You. Nothing else matters.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know enough for now.” I reached forward and pressed my lips lightly to his. “We’ll work out the rest later.”

I saw the moment when he decided. He kissed me back, and in an odd way, it felt like it was the first time we’d really kissed. It burned through me, cold and solid and precious, and so incredibly soft. “She can’t know,” he said, and I knew he referred to his grandmother. “You won’t be safe.”

“Should we go somewhere else?”

He shook his head. “You go back to the room. I’ll be there shortly.” He kissed me again, catching my lip between his teeth and stealing my breath away. “And when I get there, we’ll talk. There are things that you need to understand. And then…we’ll see.”

“Nothing you tell me will make me change my mind.”

“You need to hear me out, all the same. Ten minutes. Twenty, at the most. I’ll be there. Okay?”

“You’re not going to chicken out on me?”

He groaned, and I could feel his pulse against me, even through his jeans. “No. God, no.”

“Okay,” I said. “Although, I don’t see why we necessarily have to go anywhere.” I shifted my hips against him again, and his eyes drifted closed.

“Minx. Go. Before I lose my mind.”

It was the middle of the afternoon, and people were in the hallways, talking, or just going about their business. My cheeks felt like they were about to burst into flames, and the slick wetness between my legs felt like a naughty secret. No one noticed, though. A couple people smiled as I passed, but most of them didn’t even notice me. It wasn’t like I’d been introduced around, but I’d been seen with Eli basically every moment of the last week, and no one seemed worried about me anymore. I shut the door behind me, then flopped back on the bed, my arms spread wide, ready to embrace the sky. My hands wanted to wander south, but there was no way I was ending this delicious sensation without him there to help.

He was right, after all, that I could count the things I knew about him on one hand. I was being completely stupid. I didn’t care. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d wanted someone, not just someone to fuck. I couldn’t remember the last time just kisses made me feel full.

Ten minutes passed. Then twenty. I heard every set of feet approach my door, and each time, I realized that the steps weren’t his. I waited for the door to open, or maybe even a soft knock. Maybe he’d gotten caught up with something. He’d said he’d be here. He’d promised.

I waited until I thought I’d burst from needing to pee. I picked up my phone, meaning to leave a quick note and then prop it up on the pillow or something. I noticed the LED alert was blinking. I swiped the screen open and saw a message from Eli that I somehow hadn’t heard. I wasn’t even surprised.

‘This would be a mistake. I’ll see you in the morning.’

I stopped at the bathroom to pee before I left.

Through some miracle—there was no other explanation—my car hadn’t been towed out of the garage I’d parked in a week ago. I put another $75 on Mom’s emergency card to get my car out, and then I drove home.

No one had called while I was gone, but then, Mom hadn’t gone looking too hard the last time I vanished, either. And Sophie—she probably didn’t even have my cell number. And she might not have a phone of her own. My guts twisted for entirely non supernatural reasons as I pulled into the driveway—and then I went perfectly still. There was an SUV in the front of the house. A black SUV that I knew better than I wanted to.

I was paralyzed for a moment, petrified. The thought of seeing him again made me want to be sick—but what else was I going to do? I couldn’t ignore this, drive away and pretend that Mom and Sophie weren’t alone in the house with him. Even if I wanted to. Even if I really wanted to. I couldn’t leave Mom and Sophie to face him alone.

I parked the car and moved—not running, but faster than walking. The front door was closed. That was a good sign, right? Clearly, he couldn’t have, for example, forced his way in and then closed the door behind him. At least, that wasn’t how it worked on TV. Which was less reassuring than I’d originally hoped.

“Mom,” I called out, which seemed idiotic as soon as the sound was out of my mouth. What if he was threatening her, and hadn’t realized I’d gotten here? What if I’d just alerted him to my presence?

But after a short pause, I heard Mom say, “In here, Cait,” from the living room. I went there, still not quite running, and Wes was sitting on the couch, hands folded in his lap, looking all sexy and friendly, and not even remotely crazy and abusive. My hands clenched into fists, staring at him sitting there like he belonged. He’d fooled me into thinking he was a good guy, or at least an okay one. It nauseated me to think about it. “We were just talking about you. Wes came by to make sure everything was okay. He said you two had a falling out, and he hadn’t been able to get in touch with you. And I told him that I hadn’t seen you in days, either, that I thought you were with him, and you’d come home when you were ready—”

“You shouldn’t be here,” I said, cutting her off. Her ramble came up short, and she blinked owlishly at me. “We’re done. You’ve no right.” She realized I was talking to Wes, and turned to him to see the next volley.

He twisted his face into an expression of gentle sorrow. “If I just knew what I did, I know I could make it right,” he said, and he stood and reached out to me, forcing me to step away from him, or let him touch me. The wolf wanted him to touch me—after days of unresolved lust with Eli, she wanted it very much—but I focused on the memory of his face when he’d stopped himself from hitting me, and I stepped away. “You left in the middle of the night. No note, no reply to my texts. You could have been dead.”

“I’m not. Your conscience is clear. And we’re done.” I stepped aside, leaving him a clear path to the door.

“I just got here, Caitie. I really wish we could sit down and talk for a bit.” There was pressure in the air, and the world was thick and heavy. Breathing took more effort than seemed sensible. My mouth wanted to form the words yes, okay, anything. He was staring at me, his eyes solid, hard. I shook my head, but it wouldn’t clear.

“Hey, I heard voices downstairs, did Caitie—” The pressure faded. Wes’s eyes widened, then snapped to where Sophie stood at the bottom of the stairs. She was shaking. I could see her from here, and I could smell her total fear, like she’d sprayed it on as perfume. Her hands fluttered up to her mouth like sparrows. “No,” she said, too quiet for Mom to hear. “No, you can’t be here.”