Chosen Heart (21 page)

~~~~~

Leaving the club, I can barely
walk.  My knees are weak and I am sore, but with absolutely no
complaints.  My muscles ache, not only from the dancing, but from the
shameless public sex I just had with the man of my dreams.  Alex hands the
Valet the ticket and we wait in the po
rte-
cochere
. 
Not able to stay in my shoes for another moment, I place my hand on Alex’s
shoulder for balance.  Steadying my balancing act, I’m met with his warm
arms wrapped around my waist.  Thankfully, he’s not opposed to 2:00 a.m.
public embraces.  We don’t have to wait long.  When his car pulls up,
he walks me over to the passenger side, opening my door.  It’s
intimidating how possessive and eager he is to take care of me.  I saunter
over, kiss him on the cheek and slide into the seat.  Moving effortlessly,
I watch him walk around the car, open the door, and ease into the seat next to
me.

Driving away, I notice he’s
headed towards my apartment and not his house.  I quickly hide my
grimace.  I guess I just assumed we would be going to his house, but now
that I think about it, why would we?  His grandmother and Delores are
there.  Of course he would want to come to my place.  I can’t hide
the flirtatious smile that instantly replaces my scowl.

“Is that a smile, Ms. Hart? 
Did you have a good time?”

“I had the best time, Mr.
James.  Best birthday ever.  Thank you,” I gush, grabbing his hand
resting on my left knee.  Returning the gesture, he grins wickedly,
possibly giving me a glimpse into the rest of our night.  I hope. 

The remainder of the ride home is
quiet.  There isn’t much that can be said about tonight.  Our perfect
night.  Remembering his text sends chills down my spine and I suddenly
can’t wait to get home. 

Turning into my complex, I peer
out through the corner of my eye, confused when Alex doesn’t park. 
What’s
going on?
  Pulling up to the curb closest to my apartment, he turns
off the engine and places his hands on his own knees.  Frowning, he looks
like he’s about to apologize. 
Would it be childish of me to plug my
ears?  Why is he doing this?  Tonight was…
“I hate to do this to
you, but I have to go.”

Wait!  What?  What
happened to him wanting to see my dress on the floor?  What happened to
him wanting to fuck me into submission?
  My face drops.  I know I should say
something, but after a night like tonight, I don’t want to cave in and be the
bigger person.  I want to be selfish.  Tell him to stay.  But,
because I am
that
person with him, the one that caves, I manage to let
him know that I understand.  I don’t, but what else am I supposed to
say?  He knows I’m disappointed, rubbing it in won’t do either of us any
good.

Still being ever the gentleman,
Alex opens the car door for me and walks me to my apartment.  Approaching
the door, he turns me around and pushes me against it.  His body flush
against me, he presses his sweet, hot lips against mine.  As our kiss
deepens, I allow my body to feel every inch of him, wrapping my hands around
his neck, grasping his disheveled hair.

Panting, Alex pulls away. 
“Goodnight Elyssa.  Tonight was…well, tonight was perfect.”  I stare
at him not knowing what to say; lack of oxygen to the brain will do that to
you.  I watch him walk away.  Away from our perfect night.

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Golden rays escape through my
curtains as I slowly open my eyes to a new day.  My mouth is dry and I
long for a glass of water.  My body, however, has other plans and doesn’t
respond to any of my attempts to sit up.  My head aches, making me squint
as I peer over my pillow, searching for the clock.  2:00 p.m.! 
Are
you kidding me?!
  I don’t even remember the last time I slept this late. 

Making a last ditch effort to sit
up, I’m once again shot back down with the dull ache all over my body. 
Is
this from the dancing or from the inappropriate sex?
  I place my hands
over my face, as I try and hide.  The memories rush, full force, back to
me.  His hands…his mouth…his…just the thought awakens me. 
Ugh…he
is literally driving me crazy! 

Bringing me out of my heat
induced fantasy, I scramble to grab my phone from the charger resting on the
side of my bed.

“Hi Rach,” I mutter groggily.

“Are you still sleeping?! 
You sound awful!”

“Well, hello to you too.  I
just woke up.”  Okay, that was a little too depressing, and nothing of how
I’m actually feeling.  I had the best time last night, possibly the best
night of my life, and I need to show it.  “
Remember
, I had a date
last night?  And it just so happens, I was out late.”

“Please tell me you’ll come over
for dinner,” she pleads, sounding hopeful.  “I want to hear all the juicy
details, and see your face go red when you tell me.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to deprive
you of such fun.  What time do you want me there?” 

“Five.  Or wait, is that too
soon?  You know, I wouldn’t want to impede on your beauty sleep.”

“Ha ha, very funny, Rach! 
I’ll see you soon.  Love you.” 

“Love you more.”

I rush Rachel off the phone in
hopes to have a few more hours before I have to function like a real human
being.  I haven’t had a day off in a while, and sleeping in feels almost
too relaxing, like I’m cheating life or something.  But, now that I know
what time it is, the need for a shower overwhelms me. 

Remnants of the night before
still lingers as I stare at my reflection.  Suddenly, all I can think
about is the unabashed sex we had in a very public place.  The very
erotic, sexy, and shameless sex that I would never do again.  Well okay,
maybe not
never
.  I breathe in and exhale loudly, trying to regain
my composure. 
You’re an adult, Ely.  What you do with your
boyfriend should not embarrass you!  No one saw what you did!
 
Boyfriend might not be the right word to describe Alex.  I shake my head,
pushing thoughts of him to the corner of my mind.  Determining the status
of our relationship is not going to occur in the confines of my bathroom this
Sunday morning.  I try and give myself a moral pep talk to shake off the
indulgent behavior of last night and finally discard my pajamas as I step into
the shower.  Closing my eyes, tilting my head, the water engulfs me. 
The cascading heat feels utterly refreshing against my achy skin.

Taking too long in the shower, I
finish washing and rush out to get ready.  I don’t have long before I’m
due at Rachel’s and I have a sudden need to reach the inner, self-assured
me.  The me that may have lost herself a little last night.  After
drying and curling my hair into loose curls, I stand peering in my closet for
the perfect outfit.  The free flowing carroty kimono romper I picked out
has a v-neck that plunges to my cleavage, making me feel very sexy.  As I
tie the belt around my waist, I glance at myself in the floor length
mirror.  My curves accentuated, my long legs exposed.  Smiling, I
step into my brown sandals, and then sigh.  I finally feel like myself
again; confident, attractive, and ready to tackle my day.  Even though
technically, it’s almost over. 

I arrive at Rachel’s right at
five, and take a few deep breaths before exiting my car.  I’m so afraid
she’s going to know what I did last night.  And if she knew, she would be
so disappointed in me.  She raised me better than that and she knows how I
view sex.  It’s not the game Alex makes it out to be.  Not that I
minded much, nor did I say no, but it’s still not a game.  I flush at the
thought of Rachel knowing what naughty things I did with Alex.  But, she
did say that I needed to have more fun, which I did, but at what cost? 
She
won’t know what you did last night.  Besides, you liked it.  Get over
it, already!
 

Bryan greets me at the front
door, only after one knock.  He’s always eager to see me and never ashamed
to admit it.  Rachel couldn’t have picked a better man to fall in love
with.  His big smile and easy eyes are the first trait most people notice
about him.  He’s a man’s man, tall, auburn hair, and he loves Rachel with
all his heart.  What I love about him, besides everything, is that he never
has a mean thing to say to or about anyone.  Even when I tease him.

“Butt face!” I exclaim,
remembering the first time I called him out on the dimple in his chin. 
He’s always hated his nickname, he’s anything but unattractive, but I can’t
help but tease him.  It’s always there, smile or no smile, fitting him and
his personality. 

Reaching down, he engulfs me in a
giant bear hug.  “Hey E!”  Placing me gently back on the ground, he
starts in on me, like usual.  “About time you show your face around
here.  I was beginning to think you forgot where we lived.  That or
you’re too good now that you have your hoity-toity big girl job.”  I smile
and follow him in, knowing he loves to tease me any chance he can.

Rachel comes bolting across her
small living room and practically tackles me, taking me into another bear
hug.  My heart warms being in their presence…the presence of my
family.  Having my own place is nice, but when I come here, I feel like
home. 

Sitting down for dinner at their
mahogany table, the food looks and smells delicious.  Rachel has gone out
of her way to make one of my favorites, lasagna with meat sauce, salad and
bread.  She always thinks of everything.  “So
El
, where did
Mr. X take you last night?”  And the interrogation begins.

Enjoy the show, Rach. 
I blush and look down at my
plate, pushing my food around with my fork.  “
Alex
took me to
dinner and then to the club, Suscita.  It was….fun.”  I can’t hide my
excitement and it shows in the ear to ear smile plastered on my face.  I
want to tell her everything, okay well not everything.  I’m sure my sister
doesn’t want to know my dirty little secret; dirty being the key word.

“So are you guys….together? 
Like together, together?” Rachel asks, tapping her fingers on the table. 

“Babe, E will tell us about him
when she’s ready,” Bryan chimes in and just in time.  He winks at me,
saving me from my own sister.  I smile sweetly at him mouthing my
thanks.  Bryan is the only father figure I have in my life and he plays
the role well.  He’s always looked out for me, and the best part is he
knows how to handle Rachel.  Especially, when she gets into Mommy mode and
tries to pry.  Rachel scowls at him, but a smile returns to her face when
he leans over and gives her a swift kiss, effectively ending her pout. 

After devouring our meal, we
finish discussing whether or not the Dodgers will win against the Rockies
tonight.  Bryan is a big Dodgers fan, so of course the Dodgers will
win.  Once we’re all done with every last morsel on our plates, Bryan
clears the table and heads into the kitchen to get dessert.  Patting my
stomach, I must have gained five pounds between all of the celebratory meals in
the past few days. 

Not wanting to get caught, Rachel
drags me into the living room, stealing a peak towards the kitchen. 
Leaning in she whispers, “So this guy…”

I knew that wouldn’t take
long.  Shaking my head at her, I sigh.  If I don’t talk to her now,
it will eat at her, and me.  I want her to know about Alex, about how he
makes me feel weightless and absurdly happy.  About how he’s such a
gentleman and how much he loves his grandmother.  It’s all still so new
and exciting and for that reason I give in.  She beams at me, already
knowing she’s about to get her way.  “Rach, what do you want to
know?” 

“How did you meet?” she clasps her
hands together in excitement, jumping up and down in her seat like a little kid
who just got a bowl of her favorite ice cream.

“We work together.” 

“A workplace love affair; how
exciting!  Is he totally gorgeous?”  Thankfully, she doesn’t mention
or even think about Arianna.  I would hate for our relationship to come up
in a personal conversation and ruin everything.  What am I worried
about?!  Rachel and Arianna don’t talk and for once in my life, I’m glad
that I have nothing to worry about in regards to Arianna.

“He’s unbelievably
beautiful.  He’s almost too good to be true.”  In a moment of verbal
diarrhea I spill my soul to Rachel, giving every detail of his perfect face and
gorgeous body.  “He’s sweet and sexy and thoughtful, but…”

“But?” she pulls back, anxiously.

“But, I don’t know how this
relationship is going to work.  It’s hard to see where it’s going. 
Everything feels so different with him, Rach.  I’m in undiscovered
territory and I can honestly say I don’t know what I’m doing.” 

“Elyssa Jane Hart, you deserve to
be happy and have someone to spend your time with.  Why not look at things
for what they are instead of worrying that everything is some life shattering
moment?”

Carrying in two dessert plates
with chocolate cake that looks to die for, Bryan joins the discussion. 
“Am I interrupting something?”

“El was just telling me about her
guy.”

“So, what about him?  Do I
need to rough him up a little?  Show up with a shotgun?” Bryan jokes, as
he sits next to Rachel on their leather love seat, sharing their chocolate
cake.