Chosen Heart (16 page)

Friday, September 28, 2012

I’ve completely immersed myself
in my report and momentarily consider ignoring the ringing coming from my work
phone.  However, the caller ID shows the security desk and I’m just
curious enough to answer.  Is Alex going to make it a habit of sending me
a gift on a daily basis?  If so, a girl could get used to that. 

“Elyssa Hart, how may I help
you?” My voice has a hint of excitement.  Bracing the phone against my
shoulder I continue to adjust the columns of the table and double-check the
formulas, as I hear Mr. Hodge’s voice on the other end of the receiver. 

“Ms. Hart, sorry to bother
you.  You have a visitor…and I was calling for you to sign him in, but Mr.
James is escorting him up to you.  They should be there shortly. 
Sorry again for the interruption.” 

Dismissing his apology, I assure
him that I appreciate his call. 
A visitor?  Him?
 
Waiting in anticipation, I sit staring in the direction of the elevator, trying
to figure out who would be visiting me at work.  From a distance, I see
Alex walking towards me and am momentarily overjoyed. 
He’s back early!
 
However, my excitement is short lived.  Just as I see Alex, I see Cole
walking two steps behind. 
Fuck me! 
My breath hitches and I
immediately feel the wind knock out of me.  My eyes pop open as they
approach my desk.  Nervously, I run my hands through my hair trying to
smooth back the stray strands.

“Elyssa, this gentleman was at
the front desk asking for you.”  Alex points towards Cole, who’s standing
with a large smirk on his face, hands inside the pockets of his cargo
shorts.  “He was telling the guard that he’s your friend so I figured I
would bring him up myself and save you the trip.”  His blue eyes distant,
there’s no longer the fire in his gaze from just days before.  This is
bad, real bad.
 
“On the ride up he was telling me you guys have
known each other since college.”  Tensing his jaw, Alex stands as if he’s
waiting for an explanation.

My eyes shoot from Cole, who’s
still smirking while he runs the toe of his shoe across the lines of the
carpet, to Alex who’s trying to appear indifferent, but I can see the tension
in his forearms.  I’m sure he’s holding himself back.  If text
messages from Cole irritated him, I can’t imagine what type of feelings this
little visit will conjure up. 

“We have,” I reply, anxiety
ripping through my chest.  I focus on my breathing, slowly inhaling and
exhaling in hopes to avoid hyperventilating.

“What are you doing here?” 
I seethe, glaring at Cole.  Alex narrows his eyes at me, but doesn’t
leave.

“I’ve been texting you.” 
Although speaking to me, Cole looks to Alex, willing him to leave so he can
have some privacy.  But its obvious Alex doesn’t care what Cole
wants.  Still glaring, Cole continues, but his focus has shifted back to
me.  “You didn’t answer and yesterday was your birthday.  I always
take you out for your birthday,” his eyes soften as he mentions our yearly
tradition; hoping to spark a moment of nostalgia. 

“Dinner?  I can’t, I’m
working,” I say awkwardly, hoping he’ll leave, and soon. 
I can’t
believe this is happening.

“Not right now, El…after
work.  Don’t make me hang around until you say yes.”  Glancing
around, Cole’s eyes shoot to the empty office chair across the way.  “I
have nothing but time on my hands.  Come on….this is us.  We always
do dinner.”

I glance at Alex, anger now
rippling through his body.  Rocking his head from left to the right, the
sound of his tension crackles in the air around us.  It’s obvious Alex
knows who Cole is. 
Fuck My Life.
  “Cole…” 

He interrupts me.  “I’m not
taking no for an answer, El!  The way we left our last conversation…”
No! 
We are not having this talk in front of Alex!  Shit!  Shit! 
Shit!

“Fine!  After work I’ll meet
you at Lucio’s.  Do you know where it is?”  My voice is a harsh
whisper.  I’m embarrassed at Cole’s brazen attempt to get my attention and
all I care about is getting him as far away from Alex as possible. 

“I know where it is.  So,
I’ll see you there around 5:30 p.m.?”  I nod.  Turning, he extends
his hand to Alex.  “Mr. James, it was very nice meeting you.  Thanks
for being my tour guide and being so attentive.”  Sarcasm is laced in
every word and I close my eyes, hoping Alex doesn’t sense it.  “Oh, and of
course, bringing me to
my
Ely,” he utters.  Alex definitely senses
it, and the way Cole accentuated the word “my” doesn’t help my cause.

Alex meets his gaze and shakes
his hand in return.  “Not a problem…Cole was it?”  Cole nods and
before he can turn to walk away Alex adds, “Elyssa is a dedicated employee, so
I don’t mind doing her a favor every now and then.  Considering she stays
late and helps me out with whatever I need…it’s the least I can do.”  Alex
is playing dirty.  Cole walks away, cracking his knuckles and huffing.

Standing face to face with a
statue form of Alex, I can already tell I’m in trouble.  What kind of
trouble, I’m not sure, but the way his face is distorting, I know it can’t be
good.  “Elyssa, may I have a word with you in the conference room?” 
I flinch at the coldness in his voice.

Hesitantly, I follow Alex into
the conference room.  The moment I step through the door, he closes it and
grabs my hand.  Dragging me towards the far wall, where our voices can’t
be heard, Alex shifts me so my back’s against the wall.  Forcefully, he
places his hands on both sides of my face, caging me in between his flexed
forearms.  I jump in surprise, and quiver at his forcefulness, but another
feeling surges through me…I want him.

“What type of fucking game are
you playing with me, Elyssa?”  I can feel the irritation radiate off his
body, causing the temperature to rise five degrees.  Recoiling at his
outward display of anger, I’m confused as to what I’ve done, and stay
silent.  My knees start to shake.  Normally the caveman method of
staking claim on a woman has never appealed to me, but every ounce of his
jealously makes me want to wrap my arms around him and assure him of my
feelings.  I like the thought of belonging to him. 

“You’re going on a date with that
asshole tonight and then you’re going out with me tomorrow?  Is that how
you operate?  You just line up different guys on different nights of the
week?”  What type of girl does he mistake me for?  He thinks that I
just jump from bed to bed, warming myself against any available body? 

“How dare you!  You don’t
know me well enough to make accusations.”  And, if he did, he would know
they are so far from the truth, it’s disgusting.  He thinks I’m toying
with his emotions, but what about him?  I thought I made my feelings
perfectly clear. 

“It’s not a date,” I exclaim. 
“I’ve explained my relationship with Cole, which is solely a friendship. 
My reasons for keeping Cole in
my
life may not be obvious to you, but he
is my decision.”  He shouldn’t be mad at me for this.  No, he can’t
be mad at me for this.  Irritation quickly quenches my budding desires.

“That Mother Fucker is lucky
we’re at work, which is the only reason I let him get away with half of his
bullshit.”  I cringe at the thought of a physical confrontation between my
past and present.  “He’s only your friend, yet he has the right to stake
claim on you, huh?” 
I knew that would piss him off.

“Alex, you don’t have any right
to be so angry with me.  I’ve done nothing wrong.”  As I try and
reach up to brush my hand against his cheek, he closes his eyes and tenses at
my closeness.  “Everything has been so perfect…” 

Pulling me quickly against him,
Alex’s lips eagerly run over mine.  A moan escapes my lips as his tongue
invades and explores my mouth.  His hands run down the length of my body,
grazing my breasts before resting on my hips.  My mind is in a haze as
Alex pulls away from me, resting his forehead against mine.  Both of our
breaths are ragged as Alex tries to quell his rage.

“I don’t want you seeing him
tonight.” 

“You can’t control me,
Alex.  You can’t intimidate me one moment, kiss me the next, and then make
demands.  I’m not a puppet where you can pull my strings and will me to do
what you want.”  Little does he know that there are strings, small ones,
but each moment together, they tighten around my heart.  The need to touch
him is still coursing through me as I reach up, wrapping my fingers around the
back of his neck.

“Elyssa, stop!  I’m fucking
livid right now.  You’re playing games with me.”

Heat rises, and now he’s not the
only one that’s livid. 
Who does he think he is?
  “First of
all, I’m not playing any sort of game with you.  It’s not a date; it’s
dinner with my oldest friend for my birthday.  Secondly, Mr. ‘We Need to
Keep Our Relationship a Secret,’ even if it was a date, what would be the big deal? 
I’m not spoken for!  Am I, Mr. James?”  I return his glare, as all
the anxiety from last night explodes.  “Besides, I thought you weren’t
coming back until tomorrow?” 

“I’m glad that’s what you’re
concerned with…me being back early.”  Alex takes a deep breath. His arms
flex as he tries to reclaim his composure.  Clenching his fists at his
side he takes a step back.  “I have work to do.”  Turning to leave
the room, he slams his fist on the conference table before forcefully throwing
the door open. 

My breathing is ragged as I’m
left standing alone, trying to figure out what just happened.  Stumbling
forward, I grasp the edge of the table, trying to steady myself as an
overwhelming amount of emotion floods over me.   After a moment of
focusing on my breathing, I regain my self-control and return to my desk, but
not before pushing back the tears of frustration that threaten to brim over my
moist lids.  I have work to do.  I promised Maggie that I would have
the report done on time.  Maggie was absolutely frantic earlier; Arianna
was most definitely stressing her out.  I promised her I would not let her
down and I plan on keeping that promise, even if that means ignoring the
emotional wrestling match I just had.  I refuse to let Alex’s hissy fit
affect my work. 

My agitation turns into extreme
concentration as I dive back into my report, which by five is completed. 
Attaching the report to an e-mail, I hit the send button and forward it to
Arianna and Maggie.  Slinking back in my chair, I take a moment to breathe
and let the drama from today wash over me, and remember I have a birthday
dinner to attend. 
Would Cole be upset if I canceled on him?
 
Of
course he would!
  No I have to go and deal with my best friend and his
wounded ego.  Or is it my wounded ego at this point? 
Who
knows!  Either way, I need to get this over with.

~~~~~

I hate that I’m giving into
Cole’s compulsive behavior, but I hate it even more that Alex and I are not
good.  Our conversation wasn’t over, neither of us got what we needed out
of it and now I’m left with a dull ache inside.  Even as I’m about to have
dinner with Cole, I can’t help but think of him.  Who am I kidding? 
I’m always thinking of him.  I resolve to push Alexander James to the back
of my mind when I see Cole’s yellow Jeep parked outside of the restaurant.

Still seething with anger towards
the men in my life, I enter the restaurant and take a quick look around for
Cole.  He flags me down and I approach the table hesitantly, as he tries
to shift my mood with his bright smile.  His relaxed attitude makes it
almost too easy to unwind around him.  Giving in, I slump down in my chair
and wait for the waiter.  Ordering a cocktail, I start to look over the
dinner choices and notice Cole’s eyes focused on the right side of the menu,
obviously surveying the prices.  He always does this; making plans that he
can’t afford and I always order cheap, so I can watch the tension slowly ooze
from Cole’s body.  Nothing ever changes.

Staring at each other, I don’t
know whether to be mad at him, or laugh at him.  Here he is, looking every
bit the best friend I’ve always had, but when he pulls shit like today, I can’t
help but be angry.  And he knows it.  I guess I’m the one that has to
be the bad guy.  Again!

“Do you know how unprofessional
it is when someone shows up at work unannounced, and pulls a stunt like
that?  I would love to say that I can’t believe you’d do something like
that to me, but it would be a lie.”

“You were ignoring me and I knew
it would get your attention.”  He simpers at me while toying with the two
shot glasses in front of him.

“The last time we talked, I’m
pretty sure I made it clear that we needed some distance.”

“Well, I figured we had enough
distance.  Besides, I wasn’t going to stay away from you on your
birthday.  We’ve spent the last five birthday’s together and I’m not about
to let you ruin our record.”  It’s hard to stay mad at him, especially
when he remembers things like that.  I can’t help my smile, as I fidget
with my napkin.  “Plus, it was fun getting your V.P.’s panties in a
bunch.”  Until he says stuff like that…UGH! 

“Cole, you can’t show up at my
work and think it’s fun to piss off the executives.”  But even as I say
it, I know we’re already past the drama.  Cole’s goofy grin as I lecture
him, tips me off that my efforts are going in one ear and out the other. 
Like always.