Choices (32 page)

             
“In the limo. I told him I would think about it but I’m going to say yes. In my own way, make it a special and surprise him” She throws herself at me, catching me off guard.

             
“I’m so sorry Kylie, but your mommy is so awesome! You’ll see when you meet her.” She tells my belly once she removes herself from my body.

             
“Ha ha yeah, well it’s thanks to you and your pushiness this is happening. I owe you. My life feels so complete with you, Mason and Carter in it. And soon Kylie will make me the happiest woman alive.”

             
“Hey Gracie, you look incredible.” I look up and see Jana standing in front of me, along with her three fans. They all smile at me. They are all wearing long gowns, different colors and shiny shoes. Their hair is pulled back in elegant buns on top of their heads.

             
“What do you want Jana?” Meg asks, irritably.

             
“I just want to say you look great. I’m sorry again Gracie, for everything I’ve ever done. I’ve been so mean and I understand if you both still think I’m full of shit. But, I wish you the best of luck, with the baby and all.” And then she leaves. Meg and I are dumbfounded.

             
“Did she just say sorry and really mean it?” I had heard her say it once before. Meg wasn’t there and I think it shocks her more to hear the word come out of Jana’s mouth. “I didn’t know if she knew what the word meant.”

             
“Uh huh.” I look over to my right and see Nick sitting with a bunch of people. He’s wearing a white suit with white shoes. His blonde hair is slicked back-and he’s staring back at me.

             
“I’ll be right back.” I tell Meg and make my move before she can stop me.

             
I approach him, unsure what to say. I should have thought this over.

             
“Hey.” I say, sitting down next to him. “You look really good. Who did you come here with?”

             
“You look…beautiful Gracie.” He smiles, giving me a once over.

             
“Really? He nods, rising up out of his seat. He extends his hand toward me. I just stare at it for a minute and then shift my gaze to his sad eyes.

             
“Come on Gracie. Just one dance.”

             
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” I say shaking my head.

             
“Please? I promise I won’t try to kiss you again.” I glare at him and his attempts at making me feel better. Just then the music changes to a slow song. I catch sight of Meg and see her sitting with Mason and Carter. They are chatting away. I slowly rise and take his hand. “One dance.” He nods in agreement.

             
We approach the dance floor with a bunch of other couples macking on each other. I lay my left hand on his shoulder, taking his other hand with mine. His hand rests on my back loosely, while we sway to the music. We are both silent, lost in our own thoughts. My eyes wander to Carter; he’s staring at me and smiles briefly when our eyes meet, before he looks away. Shit, I hope he doesn’t misunderstand this.

             
“I’m sorry I kissed you the other day.” I pull back to look at him. His eyes show sincere. It breaks my heart a little to hear his voice, filled with guilt.

             
“Why did you do it?”

             
“You know why.” He looks away.

             
“I want to hear you tell me why. I’m sick of playing games and having to guess your intentions.”

             
“I still love you Gracie. I guess I just wanted to kiss you, even if you love Carter. I can’t change that.”

             
“Then why are you trying to hurt me some more?” He bites his bottom lip as his eyes trace my face.

             
“I fucked up. I’m sorry. I lost you and I know it was my fault. God, I was such an asshole and now I’m too fucking late. It pisses me off that I lost you to him.” He begins to back away but I keep a firm grip on him. His eyes start to water, making me feel worse. He did this to himself. Don’t let him manipulate you.

             
“I’m leaving this weekend.” He says. Confused, I tilt my head to the side in question.

             
“Where?”

             
“California. I want to get settled in early.” Oh of course he does. And he wants to run away.

             
“You’re not walking the stage?” He shakes his head.

             
“I’ll get my diploma mailed to me. I need to get out of here ASAP.” Because of me, just say it…coward.

             
“I’m sorry Nick. I never planned this and I didn’t want to hurt you.”

             
“I’m the one that hurt you. I was a selfish asshat.” Tears form in the corner of my eyes, I avoid his gaze so he doesn’t see them.

             
“Can I ask you something?” I look up and nod. He wipes a tear that is falling down my cheek. “Can you send me pictures of Kyile? Maybe just send letters and tell me what she’s like?”

             
“Of course.” I whisper with a hoarse voice.

             
“Thanks.” I clutch his shoulder. “You know this feels weird. I mean the space that is between us.” I nod, a small smile on my lips. It is weird dancing with a huge belly sticking out, though she sits low and perfectly snug.

             
“Jana apologized to me earlier and wished me luck. I felt like I’d been sucked into an episode of the Twilight Zone.” A vibration from his throat erupts.

             
“Wow, that’s a first. She’s never used that word before that I know of.” We both laugh and for a split second it almost feels like old times-Nick and I laughing comfortably, no strain or tension or complication. But it doesn’t last long. He pulls back then glances toward Carter.

             
“I have to go.”

             
“Wait, stay. Hang out with us.” I nod to my friends. He steps back from me.

             
“I can’t Gracie. Go, have fun with your friends. Enjoy your last prom. We’ll see each other again.” He kisses my cheek and leaves me once again, staring after him.

Chapter 43

             
I feel numb and I’m not sure why. I watch his back disappear into the crowd. It’s better this way. I try to convince myself.

             
“May I have this dance?” I hear Carter’s voice from behind me. I turn around and face him.

             
“Of course.” I take his offered hand and he wraps his arms around my waist. I throw mine around his neck. I wish I was closer to him. I feel like crying.

             
“Are you okay?” He asks, as if sensing my emotions. It’s hard to answer so I just nod. The bottom of my feel start to throb but I do my best to ignore the pain and enjoy the moment. I see Meg and Mason make their way out to the dance floor as well, they move a little closer to us. I have to say, I’ve never seen this side of Mason but he’s a pretty good dancer. He looks slick in his black slacks and dress shirt.

             
“Hey.” Carter brings me back to our special moment. I smile to assure him everything is okay. I snuggle close to Carter’s chest breathing in his scent-soap and cologne mixed together. We slowly sway to some country song. I don’t even like country music. So I tune it out and hum to a Nickelback song-a personal favorite, Never Gonna Be Alone. It’s kind of ironic, since once this little gem of mine enters the world; I’ll never be alone again. Even if it’s just Kylie and me.

             
I pull back. Carter smiles down at me. His hand comes up and traces my jawline. I shiver at his soft touch.

             
“What are you thinking about?”

             
“I’m curious, if you were to pick a song for me which one would you chose? Any song that reminds you of me.” He lets out a breath and holds me tighter, squinting his eyes in wonderment.

             
“Just The Way You Are by Bruno Mars. I heard that song on the way home from dropping you off your first day of work and even then it made me think of you.” I feel shy but hearing him say that warms my heart. I smile and squeeze his neck affectionately, then run my hand through his thick hair, making him squirm.

             
“Your turn.” I lick my lips together.

             
“Because You Love Me by Celine Dion. I am everything I am because you love me. You gave me wings and made me fly. You stood by me through everything and gave me faith, making me see the light when I saw darkness.” I feel his fingers graze my back and I close my eyes leaning into his amazing touch.

             
“Hey, when are we going to this party? I’m afraid if we stay here much longer, you’re gonna get it on, on the dance floor.” Meg interrupts the moment and I peak at her from one open eye.

             
“Soon. Do you want to leave now?”

             
“No, I just want to ride in the limo.” She answers honestly.

             
“Come on baby; let’s give them a little extra time.” Mason ushers her away from us and winks at me. I’m grateful for the diversion, at least for a little while longer.

             
I turn back to Carter, who is grinning at me. “What?”

             
“I got us a hotel for the night.” I raise my eyebrows.

             
“You didn’t.” He shakes his head and smirks. “I did. Your parents think you’re going to be at Meg’s for the night. Meg knows to cover for you.” Always thinking ahead is one of Carter’s strong points.

             
“I love you, you know that? You’re so selfless.”

             
“Don’t paint me a saint Gracie. I have a lot of making up to do for the shit I’ve caused. But I’m trying.”

             
“I see that. You’re amazing and as long as you try, nothing else matters.” One side of his mouth is turned up in a smile.

             
“I wish Nick thought so. He’ll probably never forgive me.” I hear the emotion in his voice as he talks about him. I hate that they didn’t get along but it seems to be one sided.

             
“He’ll come around one day. He’s not any better.”

             
“Well, let’s not talk about that now and enjoy our moment.” He kisses my forehead.

             
“Okay, let’s talk about something else.” I pretend to look lost in thought but it’s a ploy. I smile wide. “Let’s talk about how my answer is yes.” He looks confused, tilting his head to the side.

             
“And the question was?”

             
“What you asked me in the limo, before we got here. My answer is yes.” He still gives a confused expression and I stop moving, studying him. “You don’t remember our conversation?” I ask in disbelief. He gazes upward in thought for a minute, then meets my eyes.

             
“I remember every conversation, Gracie.” He says seriously as he runs his thumb over my cheek.

             
“Well, then…” Before I can finish his lips are on mine fervently and I return his kiss as our mouths move together in a slow rhythm. I wrap my arms around his neck tightly. He grasps my face between both of his warm hands, then pulls back to look at me.

             
“You don’t know how happy you just made me, Gracie. I love you. I fucking love you!”

             
“Yes I do because it’s the same feeling you give me. I love you so much Carter and I want to move in with you and see you every day and wake up next to you every morning.” I’m full of giddiness at the prospect of taking our relationship further. I couldn’t imagine a better feeling than having his arms around me each night as I fall asleep. But what this meant for our future, I didn’t know. Right now, that wasn’t important. All that mattered was right now. We’d figure it out somehow as long as we were together. He kisses me again then takes my hand.

             
“Let’s go find Mason and Meg and get the hell out of here. I’m ready to go have some fun before sweeping you off your feet tonight.” But I can’t move.

             
“Uh, I’d hate to ruin your plans, but someone else has something else in mind.” I look down to see clear liquid that resembles water, all over the floor. He steps back with wide eyes.

             
“Oh my God, it’s time? She’s coming? Is that?”

             
I shake my head, noticing a gathering of stunned students whispering to each other. “Yeah, my water just broke. Oh shit, I feel like I just pissed myself.” Then cramps shut me up and I hunch over. Carter is dialing a number.

             
“Come on, let’s get you to the limo. We’ll have him take us to the hospital. You still have a little time before anything happens. Just keep breathing.” I am grateful that he’s been around pregnant girls and knows how to handle the situation because I am panicking.

             
“Gracie!” I hear Meg shouting from across the dance floor, panic in her eyes when she sees Carter ushering me out.

             
“She’s in labor Meg. I’m taking her to the hospital.” She is at my side in an instant.

             
“Oh my God, how are you feeling Gracie?” The truth is I had been having stomach pains for a little while, but I thought it was just that. I had no idea it was labor pains I was experiencing. But, I was determined to enjoy tonight with Carter and my friends so I ignored the pain.

              “I’m sorry we can’t go to the party Meg. But you should go, have fun with Mason. You deserve it.” I tell her in between breaths. The pain was intensifying. I wish I had taken the Lamaze classes so I’d be better prepared. Meg follows us out to the limo.

             
“I’m coming with you.” She says in earnest. I turn to look at her seriously.

             
“You’ve done so much for me, Meg. You need to have fun. I will be fine. You can come later if you want. This is your last night of enjoyment, go enjoy it.” She shakes her head, firmly. She’s so stubborn.

             
“Nope, I’m coming. I’ve gone this far with you. I want to be there the whole way.” She insists and looks at Mason who is now at our side. “Could you drive to the hospital while I ride in the limo with them?” Mason is about to protest when he sees me nodding in agreement.

             
“Okay, I’ll meet you guys there.” Mason takes off to his car. At that point my pains become worse and I grab my belly and close my eyes.

             
“Breathe baby. Breathe.” I hear Carter’s soothing voice and I obey. He holds my hand and I squeeze it. The cramp finally lessens and I let go of his hand, hoping I didn’t break his fingers.

             
“I’m sorry for ruining your plans tonight.” I say hoarsely. Carter smiles and shakes his head. We get in the limo.

              “Umm, we have more important things to worry about. How are you feeling? You’re gonna be a mommy soon. Well, in a day give or take.” I glance at him out of the corner of my eye, then another cramp comes and I hunch over trying to breathe.

             
“If I have to go through this shit for a day, I’m gonna lose it.”

             
Carter rubs my back. “Breathe sweetie, breathe.” I didn’t take the classes but I watched a lot of episodes of Labor & Delivery to try and prepare myself for this moment. I think it only scared me more than anything else. I remember one episode of a woman that lost her baby during delivery. I don’t remember exactly the cause of it because I was a little scared and shut it off quickly. I kept thinking, what if something goes wrong? What if Kylie is born dead? So many scary thoughts ran through my head and I couldn’t breathe. I saw a few episodes before that where everything went well and the baby was healthy and beautiful. I try to focus on that thought as another contraction hits me. Meg grabs my hand squeezing, but I squeeze her hand firmly. She sucks in a breath feeling my pain in her wrist.

             
“Oh my God, this is painful.” I choke out, tears staining my cheeks.

             
“You’re telling me.” Meg says, shaking the numbness in her hand once I let go.

             
“I’m sorry.”

             
“Hang on babe, we’ll be there soon. Can we please move a little faster Mitch? Unless you want my girlfriend to have her baby in your nice ride.” Mitch looks in my direction and shakes his head, then he steps on the gas. I’m jolted slightly from the unexpected jerk of the limo.

             
“What if something is wrong? I mean, I’m early. Is that normal for a first time mother? What if something happens to Kylie or they can’t get her out the right way. I didn’t prepare for this part.” I become frantic, spewing scenarios left and right all the while crying as I try to calm my nerves. Stay calm, Gracie. Don’t upset the baby, my subconscious tells me.

             
“Look, it’s not normal for women to go into labor early, but it’s not abnormal either. It’s like mid-mal. Ya know, like in the middle? I’ve heard of some deliver early and then some deliver past their due date. Every woman is different. Every pregnancy, different.”

             
“I’m so glad you are schooled at this, Carter. I’d be panicking too.” Meg says, surprised by his knowledge.

             
“Cassie, my sister had kids young. I know a little here and a little there. I’m no expert though.” He looks at me, seriously. “Quit putting negative thoughts in your head. She’s going to be fine. The more you panic, the more stress you put her through.” I nod in understanding.

             
We arrive to the hospital and Mason greets us as we get out. He’s got a wheelchair ready for me and helps me into it. “Thank you Mason. You’re the best. After Carter of course.” I catch a wink from Carter as he hands the limo driver money.

             
“Thanks man. I appreciate the ride. Hope we weren’t too annoying.” Mitch smiles at me and bids us good luck and farewell.

             
“How are you feeling?” Mason stays by my side as Carter wheels me inside.

             
“Like I want to test that theory that Chandler in Friends brings up. You know, whether child labor or getting kicked in the balls hurts worse.” I say.

             
“In other words, she’s hurting like a Son of a bitch and I know because my wrist still fucking hurts like a bitch from her squeezing it.” I look at Meg, apologetically.

             
“I’m really sorry Meg. I didn’t mean to break your fingers.” She waves me off, but I can tell she’s gonna have a bruise.  “I never did tell you tonight Mason, but you look great!”

             
“You think so? Well, you look pretty hot yourself Miss Gracie Mae.

             
“Ha! I’m sweating and my makeup is probably running down my face and my hair is a wreaking havoc mess. I doubt hot is the right word. Maybe hot mess will suffice.” I start to breathe as another cramp, contraction-whatever comes on.